I could feel my breath halter at them words and my stomach twist, I could not work out if Xavier was this way because he was an Alpha or just because he is a bipolar ass. There was many that I could not understand or comprehend with him. Xavier can make me feel alive and dead in the same motion, he could make the sparks come alive and the grey clouds to start a thunderstorm. It felt all to confusing and frustrating, like I was drowning but I could still breathe fresh air.
Tense was the only thing I could physically feel from him as he kept his arms wrapped round me keeping me close against his chest while he walked down the steep steps and long narrow hallway, the presence in the house felt empty. The feeling that no one but us was around and it made me feel even more nervous because you could never tell what was going to happen next with Xavier.
Two hot heads always pushing against each other. Both so stubborn to try and compromise with one another. Neither of us wanting to ever say we are wrong. Both pushing each other to our limits to see how far we can take it before we snap. We both wanted to be in charge at the same time which never worked.
'I may not always be right, but I was never wrong.'
That pretty much summed us and our relationship up. It was confusing and messy, we are that couple that should no way be together because how we are but we are destined for each other. We are soul mates. Stubborn, hot headed, fly risks, arrogant, possessive soul mates.
"I'm sorry"
Xavier's tone was soft now making my shoulders drop from the tense exterior I was letting off and relaxing for the first time, my breathing going shallow as i tried to figure what the sorry fully means. Was he sorry for how he was acting? Was he sorry for what he was about to do even though he keeps telling me he is not going to reject me. Is he sorry for how far it had to get before we both realise we need to change something.
Xavier stepped into his bedroom, the room around us surrounding in his scent making my wolf relax and purr so loud forcing my body to relax. Xavier put me down on own of the plush seats before walking over to grab the other one and putting it in front of me so he could sit facing me. I pulled my legs up onto the chair with me as i knew this chat was going to be long but hopefully not full of tears.
"We do need to sort this out" Xavier breathed out before leaning forward on his knees and holding one of my hands, i nodded towards him as i bite my bottom lip trying to figure out what words i wanted to say and how to say them without it going off like normal.
"I know i'm really stubborn and-"
Xavier shook his head to silence me as my words suddenly died in my mouth, his eyebrows going together making a crease in his forehead. His eyes going down to our hands as he liked his lips while having a thoughtful look on his beautiful face. "Celeste" He started with before pausing, my name making me shiver like it always does when he says it. Watching as his eyes made a connection with mine once again.
"We have a lot to work on with each other but we can get there. We are both stubborn, we both want to have power over one another but it's not going to work if we keep fighting. You're my team and i know i need to keep telling myself that instead of trying to dominate you but it's hard when it's in my blood"
Xavier paused before leaning back in his seat while letting go off my hand and rubbing over his face, i felt my body twist at the sight. Dropping his hands again and looking at me, tilting his head to side before a small smile came across his lips which made butterflies burst and a slight blush coat my cheeks from how he was staring.
"You are my queen and i will treat you that way, i just need a little push on getting there as this is all new and i do not want to rush things with you"
My body leaning forwards to his as i reached out to hold his hand as i felt breathless once again, the sparks igniting all round my body and the tingles going right through my veins from his words, he leaned forward and cupped my face with his other hand while whispering against my lips.
"You are to precious to rush things with"
Curving into a smile towards him as i felt alive, leaning more forward to press my lips against his, my toes curling in delight.
"I want us to work Xavier" I whispered against his lips desperately. I felt powerless and fierce at the same time round him. He gave me adrenaline and deflated it at the same time.
"We will"
Laying on the bed with my back facing away as i finally opened my eyes to darkness, the lights completely out and the outside pitch black. After the whole conversation we tried to figure out how we could work on it, making a safe word for if one of us is pushing the other to hard so then we know to stop, to try and help and strengthen the bond. Xavier explained he did not want to finish the mating bond when we haven't got it all figured out, wanting to strength our bond before forcing the bond to be strong.
Xavier got some tablets from the nurse that helps with an she wolf when she needs to control her heat, one that is made for Alpha female's so then it stops any predator to try and take them up for grabs, it is only used in emergencies and for Xavier this was, needing to strength our relationship emotionally and mentally before doing it physically.
It frustrated me at the start but i could not help but feel loved and cared for by him when he explained. Normally a male wolf would just want to show off but he didn't care about me being some sort of trophy, he wanted us to work as much as i hope for.
I looked over my shoulder to see him sleeping peacefully, no stress or anything across his face making my heart swell with adoration for him. 'Meet me' I mindlinked before getting out of bed and walking gently across the room and out of it. I kept my mindlink open to him and my wolf on alert in case he moved so he could track me and see i was safe. I walked down the hallway, avoiding the spaces that creaked.
A little after 3 hours we heard people re-enter the house, Xavier probably telling them it's all good for people to come back now. It was about 3 in the morning now as i made my way down to the main level and towards the entrance to the kitchen. Avoiding my reflection in the glass as i walked towards the cupboard and reaching for a glass before taking it to the sink and filling it up with water.
Opening the backdoor and walking out before shutting it gently behind me and walking towards the bench and sitting down, smiling as i watched my best friend walk towards me with a big grin. "I hear someone has been a fucking pain in arse, may that be you by any chance?" Alana asked teasingly which only made my laugh but nod my head causing her to start laughing while she sat down next to me, bringing her leg up at the same time.
"You are such a dick" Alana laughed out which made me smile big at her. "I know i am" I said through a laugh, she leaned one arm on the table while resting her chin on her hand as i took a bit of my drink, she tilted her head to the side at me. "Well you are looking a lot better now so does that mean you two got down and dirty" She asked while raising her eyebrows up and down with a smirk.
I laughed and shook my head before waving my hand slightly. "It's a long story but to cut it short, i have medicine to take to hold it back while me and him sort our relationship out" I explained to which she nodded to before reaching for my drink and taking a sip. "Well at least that's a good thing. Can't have you locked away, like girl i need you don't be so selfish" Alana joked with a laugh causing me to laugh again with a nod.
"Yeah i know, sorry sorry"
I laughed before looking back at the house, it was quite a house. Full of small pups learning the ways, the Alpha's family. New arrivals and all the way underneath the foundations deep underground the prisoners that trespass. The building that has the meetings and the birthdays. The place where you grow and watch people grow. "You're parents are proud, even when you make the red alerts happen"
My head turning to face Alana who had a smile on her face. "They raised you to be independent and in control and you always are, even when you are being a flight risk and the fact Xavier would go to the ends of the earth to still make sure you are happy and healthy, shows that the Moon Goddess chose the right mate for you"
I smiled as i looked up at the sky, my eyes staring at the moon and the stars that twinkled in the air, Alana holding my hand and giving it a squeeze.
"You have the perfect mate for you, don't forget that"
I gave her hand a squeeze back before looking back at her. "Thank you"
"Anything for you"
I let out a breath as i leaned against the kitchen door frame, smiling towards Alana. "Don't get into too much trouble" She teased as i laughed and shook my head at her, the sun just about shining through the trees as it began to come up, we had been talking for more than 2 hours. "Bye Alana" i waved as she winked while walking backwards before laughing and turning round to walk out the garden, i shook my head with a laugh before i turned round to go in only to jump and drop the glass i was holding.
"Holy shit" My hand holding over my chess as i breathed harshly, only to get a sheepish smile from Josh. "Sorry didn't mean to scare you" He stated with a smile at the end, i just nodded before leaning down to grab a few of the pieces only to slice my finger. "Fuck" I said under my breath. Josh grabbing a small wet cloth before passing it to me, knowing it would help for a second before disappearing into the cupboard at the back of the kitchen to grab the dustpan and brush to clear it up with and not just grab it. I stepped over it only to groan when i stepped in my glass, smelling the fresh blood in the air.
Josh coming back out and shaking his head with a laugh before his eyes blanked over which means his mind liking someone and any guess who. I went to move again but decided against it, knowing i will make it all worse.
In a flash Xavier was down the stairs and in the kitchen entrance, staring over at me with amusement and worry, it was always me. Xavier wearing a pair of shoes on his feet before he walked over to me and lifted me up over the glass and onto the side while Josh leaned down to clear up the glass on the floor. Josh knew better than to try and touch me in this sort of environment, especially with fresh cuts on me, the best thing for a wolf is their mate so no one could try and think anything else was going on. Also with the fact i was not fully mated it was a lot easier.
Xavier lifted my foot up and started pulling the glass out, the sleep still clear in his eyes which indicated Josh woke him up but he didn't act like he minded so much. "I'm not even going to question why you are up so early but please be more careful" Xavier said with a slight laugh at the end off his sentence, i smiled towards him. "I've been up a few hours" I told him, wanting to be honest with him from now on.
"I know, i saw you with Alana. I thought it was best to leave you be as you was smiling and laughing. I didn't want to interrupt you and i knew you was safe"
Xavier leaned forward and kissed my forehead, leaving a smile on my lips.
*~*
Here it is. I apologise for several things. One for how long it has taken to upload and two for how short it is. I really wanted to update for you, just been so hectic where i am for a while now.
I will not bore you will all personal issues/problems but i will try to update sooner rather than later. Thank you to everyone who has voted and commented and followed me, it means so much.
I will be going on holiday in a few weeks so i will have a lot of free relaxing time to get on and edit and hopefully upload so fingers crossed.
I love each and everyone of you, your votes make my day and make me want to keep writing.
Be bless today and every other day that comes
xoxo