Jason's POV:
I stood facing Justin trying my best to fight back tears from flowing down my face. I felt my heart crush in on itself and sink as Justin spoke those words. Unsure of what to do, I moved closer towards Justin hoping that he would allow me this time, but was once again denied by him. Justin turned his head away from me and wrapped his arms around his knees, which he had pulled up close to his chest. I wasn't exactly too sure why he was acting this way. Did I do something to him?
"Justin please talk to me?" I pleaded in a gentle raspy tone. I wanted so badly to just engulf him into a tight hug and let him know that everything was going to be okay and that I was sorry for whatever it was I did to him. Justin continued to look away from me as he paid no attention to my words. Feeling deflated, I dropped my head low and slowly turned and walked out of the room. I didn't want to annoy him or make him feel any worse by just standing there and making flawed conversation with him.
I walked into the kitchen and knew that I had to have some food, even though I had lost my appetite from everything that's happened tonight. I opened the freezer door and pulled out a cheese pizza that was pre-made. I turned on the oven behind me and slide the pizza inside on a tray still feeling completely deflated with myself. Setting the timer on the oven, I decided to walk out the back door to my house which leads to a little backyard. It is nothing over the top, just a plain piece of yard with a few trees at the back and a large metal fence surrounding everything.
Just outside the glass door was a small tiled patio with a tables and a small sofa surrounding it. I rarely use the area, but do come out here to smoke and back when I was obsessed with becoming the most popular and powerful kid in school, I would have all my parties out here. I sat on the sofa and just looked out into the darkness of the night sky. So many thoughts were racing through my mind and I felt myself becoming flustered with them all.
I went back inside and retrieved a packet of cigarettes walking back outside and sitting by the table. I pulled out a cigarette and placed it between my lips, striking the lighter and watching as the end to the cigarette became an orange glow. I inhaled deeply, feeling the smoke instantly fill my lungs and enter into my body. Exhaling slowly and watching as the smoke slowly drifted in the light wind against the dim light from the night sky, I was interrupted by the sound of a small knock on the glass door behind me.
I immediately shot my head to the direction of the noise, feeling slightly on edge from everything that had transpired earlier tonight. My body instantly relaxed when my eyes met the small fragile figure of Justin standing weakly against the door. I just looked at him with sadness in my eyes as he stared back at me looking a little upset. I took continued to take a drag from the cigarette as I just looked at Justin, not really sure if I should start talking. But thankfully he did.
"H-hi," he mumbled cutely as he broke eye contact with me to look out into the night.
"Hey," I replied quickly, happy that he decided to talk to me.
"C-can I s-sit?" He asked nervously as he stepped closer towards my side. I smiled at him and began nodding my head.
"Of course you can," I told him as I took one final draw of my cigarette before flicking the butt and ember off into the darkness of the night. I exhaled out of the side of my mouth, not wanting to blow smoke into Justin's face. Justin sat about half a metre away from me and his body was tensed. He looked nervous and afraid of being around me which caused my face to drop.
"Y-you s-shouldn't s-smoke," he said with a blank tone as he just looked straight forward. I furrowed my eyebrows at his words and scoffed a little to myself.
"You shouldn't hurt yourself," I replied back in defence, however, I instantly regretted this as Justin began to hold his face in his hands and sob. My heart dropped in its place and I felt so stupid for even saying that. I moved closer beside Justin and held an arm around him and pulled him in closer against my body. I rested my head against his and used my free hand to stroke his arm comfortingly.
"I'm sorry Justin, that was stupid for me to say." I felt his body start to shake as his sobs started to slowly fade into hitched breathing. I mentally kicked myself for being so dumb.
"B-but y-you a-are r-right," I heard him say quietly, almost as a whisper. I wasn't too sure he even had said it to be honest, until he continued on to talk. "I n-need h-help."
Now, I can't explain to you all how happy I was to hear Justin speak those words. My lips spread across my face in a huge smile as my heart began to fill with joy. I never thought that I would hear those words being spoken, yet here I am hearing them come directly from Justin's mouth. I turned my body so that I could embrace him into a proper hug and this time he allowed me to do so. I wrapped my arms around him and held onto him tightly, but making sure that he would still be comfortable.
"Thank you," I whispered against his ear. I pulled away from the hug so that I could look at him in the eyes. I could tell from his eyes and expression that he was tired, beat up, sore and unhappy. It made me feel like I had to protect him from the harm in this world. "I am here to help you Justin. I won't leave your side," I said hopeful that he would let me help him through this.
"Y-you c-can't h-help m-me," he simply replied which made confusion take over me. I didn't understand why I couldn't help him from here. I get that in the past I was a thorn in his side and the reason he felt like hurting himself like he has been, but now I love him and want him to be better. Justin looked me straight into my eyes with no real emotion showing. His eyes were slightly darker in colour than they usually are and he had bags forming underneath them.
"Y-you l-lied t-to m-me," is all he let out with no emotion before breaking away from me and walking out to sit on the edge of the tiles, looking up into the night sky. I sat alone on the sofa for a few moments, trying to process and understand what he just said to me. My mind was shooting far too many ideas through it for me to think clearly right now. I had no clue what I had lied to him about, but I was sure I had done something.
I stood to my feet and slowly walked over beside Justin, sitting down and wrapping my arm over his shoulders. I looked up into the night sky and smiled a little as I saw Justin out of the corner of my eyes with a smile on his face as he observed the sky. It really was a beautiful sight to see, not only the millions of bright stars shining and lighting the sky, but also to see Justin smiling an actual smile.
"It really is beautiful," I let out quietly as I continued to look up into the sky. I heard Justin hum in reply to me as his head just watched over the entire sky. His eyes became so focused on the sight in front of him, that I almost thought he was zoned out.
"Justin?" I asked as his body stayed still.
"Mmm?" he mumbled to me as he continued to look up to the sky.
"What lie?" I asked curious to what I had done.
Justin shut his eyes and took a deep breath in through his nose as he began to slowly lower his head down and turned it to face in my direction. I watched as his eyes slowly opened and his eyes were once again met with mine. I could tell that he was feeling uncomfortable, but I had to hear what he had to say.
"Y-you s-said you w-wouldn't h-hurt me a-again," he spoke as he let out a sigh.
"What? When did I hurt you?" I asked a little confused.
"T-tonight," he replied blankly as he broke gaze with me and looked out into the dark yard. I heard him let out another sigh and his expression showed hurt.
"Justin I didn't lay a hand on you...." I spoke with confidence before I thought to myself for a few seconds. "Did I?" I questioned unsure of the entire events of tonight.
"N-no," he replied. I let out a breath of relief, but that was quickly short-lived. "B-but you d-didn't h-have to," Justin said clearly. In the exact moment my stomach flipped and my heart hurt. I understood what Justin had meant from this, though I was still unsure exactly what it was I did.
"Justin look, I know that tonight has been a complete mess for both of us, you more so than me. I know you're feeling hurt right now, but I really don't know why. I'm sorry but I just can't think clearly right now," I said hoping that Justin would somehow understand my position, but he clearly did not. I took a deep sigh.
"Okay so this is what I remember. I went for a walk because you were asleep and I needed to think. Ryan and Chaz both followed me and they convinced me that they had changed and they wanted to chill with me for a while. I stupidly said yes. I sent you a message, and went back to Ryan's. We had a few drinks and I won't lie, but I smoked weed." I paused as my memory blacked out for a little. I couldn't actually remember well enough what happened after I smoked all that weed. My mind was fuzzy.
"Then I can't remember, but I do remember being face to face with Ryan and Chaz. Then they moved and I saw you beat up next to the Sam kid. Anger filled my body and I my mind blanks out again, but I do remember carry you back." I spoke as I remembered my night in pieces. My brain was so scrambled right now.
I looked at Justin upset as he looked back with a confused expression.
"Did I miss something?" I asked confused with myself.
Justin scrunched his nose up and furrowed his eyebrows before closing his eyes and letting out a light sigh. I was just about to say something before the timer for the oven started to buzz loudly. I honestly had forgotten that I even put the pizza on, but sluggishly I rose to my feet and walked inside. I turned the oven off and pulled the pizza out on the tray, using a cloth to not burn myself. I placed the pizza down on the bench and suddenly my appetite decided to return.
Justin's POV:
I followed Jason back inside to his kitchen and watched as he pulled out a steaming hot pizza from the oven. I stood awkwardly against a wall as I tried to process the night myself. So much happened and my mind wasn't giving me any clear advice. I felt so many different ways about everything, but just didn't know which way to act out on it. I felt betrayed by not only Sam, but also by Jason. The worst part? I don't even know think Jason knows what he did wrong.
There are a few things that I am upset with him about, but the main one is that he can no longer say he loves me. Why you might ask, well it's quite simple. He decided to go and have a love session with those two girls at Ryan's house. I'm not mad at him about it. I can't be mad. We are not in any type of relationship so he is free to do as he pleases. But he can't have love relations with other people and tell me he loves me at the same time, because I don't stand for that.
He lied about being with Ryan and Chaz too. That one I am a little mad at, but again it comes back to the fact that Jason and I are not in a relationship so I can't really tell him how to live his life or what to do. That is why I have decided I won't tell Jason why I am upset with him, I want him to figure it out for himself. As for now, I am happy to continue to be around him, but my trust for him has dropped a lot.
I told him that I needed help. I don't know why. But I do need help. I think I am going to start off tomorrow by going to the hospital and hopefully start healing my body. Every day I wake up in pain and I really want to be better. I don't want that anymore. I want to wake up happy. I want to change my life around. After tonight, I know that if I want to change then I am the only one who can do that. I am going home tomorrow to see my mum. I miss her so much.
Sam... I literally have no words for him right now.
I was brought out of my thoughts by the smell of pizza floating up into my nostrils. I felt a rumble in my stomach and the urge to fill it came it me. I usually gag at the sight or smell of food, but pizza is one of my favourites. I walked over close to Jason and sat on a wooden chair by the table. I held at my grumbling stomach and built up the courage to speak.
"C-can I h-have s-some p-please?" I asked quietly as Jason shot his head over to me. I think he wasn't even aware that I was back inside his house. He quickly smiled at me and walked over a huge plate of pizza, placing it down in front of me. He paced back into the kitchen and collected two cups of water, handing one out to me as he sat on a chair opposite to me.
"Of course you can," Jason said gently as we both began to chow down of the pizza. I didn't consume too much of it, but I felt my stomach become full as I took a gulp of the water. Jason looked at me happily as he continued to finish off the rest of the pizza, after I made it clear I had my fill. Jason placed the dishes in the kitchen sink before extending his hand out to me. Jason led me back outside were I cuddled up into his arms and watched the night sky. We didn't speak any words to each other, but I believed that none needed to be said. Eventually I fell asleep peacefully against the comforting feeling of Jason's warm body hugging me.
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Heyoo everyone, how are you all going <3
I want to thank everyone who is reading, voting and commenting on this story. It honestly means so much to me.
Let me know what you think as always.
Kind of a cute filler chapter.
I think the end of this book is coming up, but I don't know for sure. I could make it continue on a long time or could end it in the next few chapters.
What do you all thinks, a longer story or end it soon?
I will update again soon,
Until next time, farewell <3