Flashback
We entered my room, and I walked to my closet to pick some new clothes. Justin sort of walked around in my room a little, looking at all the stuff in my room. I was rummaging through my closet trying to find some decent clothes to wear, when Justin suddenly spoke up:
"This is mine, you know." I turned around, looking at him confused. He was holding the black feather in his hand, and examined it. I walked over to him, as he just continued to stare at the feather in his hand.
"How- What do you mean?" I asked, not being able to think straight. How could that feather be Justin's? I mean do demons have wings or something?
Justin chuckled and set the feather down onto the bookshelf where it previously was. Then he looked at me, those dark brown eyes having a mix of both happiness and nervousness in them.
"Well... Do you remember that one night when you uh.. Were home alone?" Justin asked. I scrunched my eyebrows together, at first not being able to remember such a night. Or maybe the problem was that I had been home alone so many nights. Which one did he mean?
"You know the one when you um- When you heard that unexplainable sound from upstairs?" Justin licked his lips clearly nervous and took a deep breath, looking at me. And right then I knew what he meant.
The night when I found the feather in my room. I nodded, wanting Justin to go on. I was curious of what he was about to tell me.
"I was in your room that night." Justin suddenly blurted out, causing me by total surprise. I was shocked. He was in my room? Why in the world? And how did he even get up there? I mean my room is on the second floor the window was locked. Justin looked at me, an amused expression on his face as he laughed.
His eyes sparkled with this familiar amusement that seemed to always be present in him.
"I'm a demon, Ally." He spoke, his tone amused, and I felt a blush creep to my cheeks, making them turn into a nice crimson color.
"Oh- Right. Anyways, do you have wings or something? I mean- How did you get up there?" I asked, wanting to know. I was curious, there always seemed to be something about Justin that I didn't know.
Of course there was a lot I didn't know, but something new always seemed to reveal itself. Justin smiled at me, probably reading my thoughts.
"Well, that feather there has to tell something, doesn't it?" Justin chuckled, and pointed to the black feather on the shelf. I nodded in agreement.
"So you have like.. Wings?" I asked and Justin nodded in response. He scratched the back of his head and smiled at me, his eyes never leaving me once. We remained silent for a while, however it was a comfortable silence though. After a minute or so Justin spoke:
"Yeah... I have wings, but unlike angel's wings mine are black. Like that feather right there." He said, and glanced at the feather. I nodded, stunned by what I just heard. Justin had wings? Like - wow, I'd really want to see them. I want to see how he looks with those wings since right now they obviously aren't visible.
"You want to... see my wings?" Justin asked hesitantly, sounding like he wanted to make sure he heard right. I nodded immediately, eager to see him with those wings. Justin sighed, and slowly nodded. However he still seemed a little hesitant.
"Please?" I asked, shooting him a pleading look. Justin chuckled, and nodded again.
"Fine." He spoke, causing my eyes to widen in surprise and a wide smile to spread across my face. Justin smiled in response and took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. He was clearly focusing on something. And there, right before my eyes suddenly a pair of black wings appeared.
They were attached to his back, and they were a shade of black I'd never seen before. Justin slowly opened his eyes again, and looked at me. He looked so nervous in that moment. As if he was afraid I would judge him. I looked him all over, and couldn't help but smile. He looked perfect.
"W-Wow" I whispered, staring at Justin. I was amazed by what I saw in front of me. Justin chuckled, and smiled at me. His expression was now relieved, like he had been afraid that I wouldn't like what I'd see. But there was no way I couldn't like this.
I had maybe expected him to look a little scarier with those wings, but no. He almost looked like an angel, well except that his wings were black - and he's a demon.
"You think I look like an angel?" Justin chuckled, and took a small step towards me. I bit my lip, feeling a little nervous. Also, I must be blushing again. Justin took another step closer to me, and suddenly I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist.
I was pulled close to a warm, toned chest. I smiled, and carefully wrapped my arms around Justin's waist. I loved the feeling this hug gave me - it made me feel safe and it made me feel warm inside. Justin laughed a little, and I looked up at him confused.
"You feel safe in the arms of a demon?" He asked, laughing. I nodded, and smiled shyly at him. I truly did feel safe in his arms - safer than I had felt anywhere before. It felt like as long as I'm with Justin I'm safe.
End of flashback
Tears flowed down my cheeks, as I thought back at how the hug felt. It was so comforting, I felt so safe. I felt like I belonged in Justin's arms. Like it was the place I was destined to be in. And that only made me feel worse about myself and about what I did.
The fight we had in the library was totally pointless, and it was both of our fault. It was Justin's fault for not helping me and for just goofing around and acting like a player - which he knew would annoy me - and my fault for getting that angry and thinking what I did. So yeah, we're both to blame.
I sighed, and took my diary from under my bed, and a pen from my table, and started to write.
'Justin is still gone. I mean yeah, I know he said that I'd never hear of him again, but maybe I somehow hoped that he wouldn't be serious. But I guess he was and now that he's gone I realize how much I miss him. And that's a lot.I just wish that stupid fight never happened, I wish I would've told him that I loved him right away. But I didn't - and that was a mistake. Now I might never get the chance to tell anyways. And that is the most heartbreaking thing to experience for me, because I made it happen myself. (It was both of our fault, but I was the one to tell him to go back to hell, so...) I just hope that he'll come back. I miss Justin more than anything. And ... I love him. More than anything.'
-Ally
I threw the diary to the other end of the bed and laid on my bed, curled up to a little ball. I clutched my pillow closer to my chest, as tears endlessly poured down my cheeks.
Every flashback that went through my mind shattered my heart even more. The feeling of hurt spread across my whole body. I felt so much regret for what I thought earlier.
For the fact that I allowed myself to let my thoughts get that out of hand. I whimpered, burying my face in the pillow. Justin is gone, because of me. For good. Why couldn't I control my thoughts? Why did I have to think of that? When I knew all along, that I loved Justin. I also knew deep down, that I didn't mean that thought at all.
I love Justin so much, more than anything. And now, in result of my own stupidity I'll most likely never see him again. And I'll never get the chance to tell him that I love him.
'Maybe I already knew, Ally' His voice was suddenly heard, causing my head to snap up. I looked frantically around the room, for any sign of him being in the room. But there was absolutely no sign of him.
I figured that I must have imagined it. I sighed, wiping some of the tears that continuously fell down my cheeks. I shouldn't have gotten mad at him over something that stupid. But I did, and this can't be changed. I- It only caused me to lose Justin forever.
'Who said it'd be forever, Ally?' there it was again - Justin's voice. And this time I was sure I didn't imagine it. But how was it possible that he spoke to me? How could he be here? He said that he'd go back to hell and that he'd 'see me there'. He also said that I'd never hear from him again - yet here he was talking to me. But he's in hell, so how can he be here?
'Maybe I never left' Justin's voice echoed in my room. Where could he be? He sure wasn't anywhere inside my room, because I couldn't see a single sign of him in here. I just want to see him, I just want to apologize. I just want to hug him tightly and tell him I didn't mean what I 'said'. And I want to tell him that I love him.
'Open your window, Ally' Justin's voice spoke, and I sniffled. I shakily got out of bed and slowly walked to the window, opening it with trembling hands.
As I pulled the window completely open and peeked my head out, I saw the one person I wanted to see so badly. The one I missed so much. There, against the wall of my house he was, his black wings spread wide - Justin Bieber.