"Any happiness, no matter how brief, seemed better than the long, simmering torture of waking up day after day, knowing I could never have him." - Becca Fitzpatrick, Crescendo
Sakura was currently fidgeting while sitting on her living room couch. Naruto was sat near her waiting patiently to tell him what she wanted to talk about. It was simple. But she didn't know how to start or how to say it without hurting his feelings. The blond boy cheased her ever since they were kids and now, when he finally got the chance to be with her, she backed up. She didn't know why either. Probably because she couldn't feel that spark, that intensity. Everything seemed dry and forced, at least from her perspective.
Naruto was a good guy who deserved someone loyal and she was nowhere near it. She cheated on him with Itachi. She hated herself for even getting into this relationship. Hinata was destroyed when she found out but forced a smile and said that if Naruto is happy, she is happy too. What a lie. She wasn't happy. She bacame distant.
The pinkette was worried. Even though she will take a break from dating, heck maybe she won't date ever again, she could never erase the guilt. She won't tell him, true. But it is eating her alive.
She got up from the couch and stayed with her back turned to him. She wanted to end this quick because she had to look after Itachi today but there was no quick way to end the things.
"Umm... Naruto, thus relationship is great, trust me, and you are a great guy. The greatest from the village." she inhaled sharply "I will always be thankful that you risked yourself to come and save me but..." she took a small pause. "I've been hurt by Sasuke. Really bad. I don't know if I can continue this. It's just... I din't think that I will be able to do the normak things with a boyfriend without being afraid. It's like... Some chains tie me down. Not the same chains as Sasuke's but you know what I'm talking about. The fact that I was his prisoner was a long term deal, or it should have been. And a relationship is the same thing: a long term deal." she turned her head to look at the blond who frowned and moved his gaze to the floor.
"You are a good guy, Naruto. Don't have a doubt. But... I'm not the best person for you. I hit you, I made fun of you, I didn't believe in you from the start and I always said Sasuke, Sasuke, without taking into consideration your feelings." she forced a laugh "Ironic, cause he treated me the same way I treated you yet... I didn't change."
He stood up "Sakura-chan, we can work this out."
"No, I'm afraid we can't..." she avoided his gaze. "But this is the chance for you to find someone who suits you, who believed in you from the start. That person is closer than you would ever think. But you never noticed her."
Naruto grabbed her shoulders. "I don't care, dattebayo. You are the only person that I want."
She sqeezed her eyes shut. "I am not..." her voice broke. She took off his hands. "I am sorry that it had to be this way." she walked upstairs, leaving Naruto in the middle of her living room. He gripped tight his jacket where his heart was, feeling hurt by the only person that he ever loved.
"I won't give up..." he said before leaving her apartment.
She didn't feel anything. Her eyes followed how his figure walked slowly, from her bedroom's window. She exhaled, relaxing sightly.
The pinkette brushed her hair and took a last glace in the mirror.
"Not ready to see him again, but I can do this."
She went downstairs and grabbed some stuff that he brought him such as: food, toothbrushes, shampoo, balsam, soap, tea.
*
She knocked twice on his door, tapping her foot impatiently. She couldn't pinpoint why she always lost all her courage around him. It was like he wasn't a normal person. She breathed. Alright, relax, it's just a person that I will help, breathe Sakura.
The door opened, revealing a tired Itachi who wore only a bath robe. His hair was untied and droplets of water fell from it. Sakura swallowed the lump from her throat. His sparkling eyes stared into her soul, analyzing every detail.
"I-I... Brought you some essential stuff." her trembling hands showed him the bags. Get a grip, Sakura.
He stepped aside, not saying a word. The thump in his chest was more intense with every meet that they had.
She walked into his living room and placed the bags on the small table.
"Do you want something to drink?" he asked in his raspy voice that made her knees go weak. She shook her head.
"I am actually here to ask you if you need anything." she cleared her throat, trying to look anywhere but at him.
"No, I think I will just stay home today."
The doorbell rang. Itachi went and opened the door.
A blonde woman smiled brightly at him.
"Hello, Itachi." she sqealed.
Sakura cringed.
"Oh, you are already here." he looked over his shoulder at Sakura. The blonde woman followed his eyes, making a disgusted face when her eyes fell upon the pinkette.
"I should... I should go..." Sakura told Itachi in a weak voice.
The girl walked past them both, earning a light push in the shoulder from the blonde woman. Sakura gasped but continued walking nonetheless. Itachi followed her figure with his eyes until she was out of his sight.
The pinkette stopped by a tree, supporting her weak body on it's tunk. She let out a loud sob and slid down on the ground. Foolish little girl... What she thought? That she had a chance with him? The most handsome man from Konoha? Of course he can do better than her and he will. He deserves better than some trash person who cheats on her boyfriend. Now it was clear. She was only a form of entertainment because that's the only thing she was good for. She hated herself for letting her feel again and build her hopes up only to be crushed in seconds. She lost everything... Her parents, her first live and now probably her last love. Heck, even her best friend. She believed that she had no right to happiness.
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Sorry for the boring chapter. The next will be better, I promise.