The Coño Boy 1 & 2: Love What...

By TheLostConyo

399K 11.2K 2.5K

My name is Sean Ordoveza San Dejas. I was steeling myself for a typical uneventful start of the semester when... More

BOOK ONE: FOREWORD
Chapter One: I Hate P.E.
Chapter Two: Breakfast sa Caf
Chapter Three: T@ng In A Mess, Wrong Car!
Chapter Four: How to Choose the Perfect Swim Trunks
Chapter Five: Boys of the Same Feather
Chapter Six: The Merienda
Chapter Seven: Mirror, Mirror, Side-Mirror
Chapter Eight: Slow-Motion + Sexy Music + Guys in Swimming Trunks
Chapter Nine: Siomai Rice and the Morning After Talk
Chapter Ten: Don't Make Singit Between 2 Pizza Slices
Chapter Eleven: The Guy at F-Hall Driveway
Chapter Twelve: Comfort Food
Chapter Thirteen: Sweet Dreams are Made of These
Chapter Fourteen: Friday
Special Chapter 14B: Lazy Friday
Chapter Fifteen: The White Villa with Blue Window Shutters
Special Chapter 15B: Satisfaction by Shakespeare
Chapter Sixteen: Guardian Angels
Chapter Seventeen: Saturday at Tali Beach
Chapter Eighteen: A Bonfire by the Beach
Chapter Nineteen: Here or There
Special Chapter 19B: Turn Left
Chapter Twenty: To the Right of Me
Chapter Twenty-One: Between the Cold Moon and the Earth
Chapter Twenty-Two: How to End the Weekend
Chapter Twenty-Three: Auntie Knows Best
Chapter Twenty Four: Adjustments for the Not-So-Well-Adjusted
Chapter Twenty Five: Billy Shakespeare Wrote A Whole Bunch of Sonnets
Special Chapter 25B: Loop, Scrub, Press Play
Chapter Twenty-Six: Brown Paper Bag
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Gravy Naman!
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Chosen, Choose, Choice
Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Play's the Thing.
Chapter Thirty-One: 23 Days
Special Chapter Thirty-Two: University Secret Files
Chapter Thirty Three: Friday the 13th
Chapter Thirty-Four: The Remains of Friday
Special Chapter 34B: Two Guys, Two Cups, and a Pack of Cookies
Chapter Thirty-Five: Waking Up To A Dream
Chapter Thirty-Six: What You Will or How You Will
Chapter Thirty-Seven: All the World's a Stage
Special Chapter 37B: First Valentines Day
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Take a Bow
BOOK TWO
Chapter Thirty-Nine: Si Jake at ang Sipay
Chapter Forty: 11:57 2-14
Chapter Forty One: By Now...
Chapter Forty-Two: Time
Special Chapter 42B: ... and the Untitled.
Chapter Forty Three: White Day and the Sophomore Slump
Chapter Forty-Four: Throwback Thursday Pa Pala
Chapter Forty-Five: Gaya Ng Dati
Chapter Forty-Six: The Green-Eyed Monster
Chapter Forty Seven: Teach Me How You Look and With What Art
Chapter Forty Eight: The Actor, The Bitch, and the Ball Player
Chapter Forty-Nine: Someone to Watch Over Me?
Special Chapter 50: Watching, Waiting, Wanting
Chapter Fifty-One: Paper Faces on Parade
Chapter Fifty-Two: Resistance is Futile
Chapter Fifty Three: The Night Smiles Three Times
Chapter Fifty Four: The House at the Corner of the Plaza.
Chapter Fifty Five: Sunday Mass the Taga-Gitna Way
Chapter Fifty-Six: Sinigwelas Trees and Fireflies
Chapter Fifty-Seven: Ice Candy, Bananas, and Buco
Chapter Fifty-Eight: Kasalanan ito ni Waze at ni Manong sa Plaza
Chapter Fifty-Nine: Here's to the Ladies Who Lunch
Chapter Sixty: As We Let Time Pass
Chapter Sixty-One: What You Do Not Use, You Will Lose
Chapter Sixty-Two: Oracion
Chapter Sixty-Three: Ako Na Lang (Sana)
Chapter Sixty-Four: Gala Night
Chapter Sixty-Five: A Toast to that Invincible Bunch
Chapter Sixty-Six: Family Day is Overrated
Chapter Sixty-Seven: Sunrise and Sunset are Similar But Not Identical
Special Chapter 67B: University Secret Files Continued
Chapter Sixty-Eight: Paper Crowns and the Clowns that Wear Them
Chapter Sixty-Nine: South Kid Strikes [Back?]
EXCURSUS
Chapter Seventy: It is to be All Made of Sighs and Tears
Chapter Seventy-One: Sociedad
Chapter Seventy-Two: Beware the Ides of March
Special Chapter 72B: Beware the Ides of March Part 2
Special Chapter 73: JAKE
Special Chapter 74: Shit Hit The Fan
Chapter Seventy-Five: The Fine Line Between Love and a Waste of Time
UPDATE for Book 3!
2 Years to the Day
Cover Reveal: The Coño Boy Book 6
We Are FOUR YEARS Old
The Coño Boy: Still With You
CHEERS TO 7 YEARS!

Chapter Thirty: This Deserves a Montage!

3.9K 105 11
By TheLostConyo



[Author's Note: Montages. They do that in movies with music and lots of cuts or transitions of scenes. Think of this chapter as that part. I'm asking you to also play the music to get the feel, relish the chapter and let your imagination take you into Sean's journey. I picked "You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals. Credits to the late National Artist Rolando S. Tinio for the Filipino translations of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.]

🎶 One, two
One, two, three 🎶
_ _ _

Rehearsal, Rehearsal, Rehearsal...

Jerome/playing Duke Orsino: "Kung musika'ng bumubusog sa pag-ibig, tugtugan ako ng labis, nang sa pagsasawa manghina ang hilig at tuluyan nang mapawi."

🎶 Wake up kids
We've got the dreamers disease
Age fourteen we got you down on your knees
So polite, you're busy still saying please
Frienemies, who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night we smash their Mercedes-Benz
First we run,and then we laugh 'til we cry 🎶
_ _ _

During Free time at the bench.

Sean/memorizing Sebastian: "Ipinakikiusap kong huwag na. Mapanglaw ang sinag ng aking mga bituin; baka madamay ka sa mga kamalasan ko. Kaya't hihingin kong iwanan na ko at nang mag-isa... nang mag-isa... nang-"

Sean grasps his thoughts to remember the next line

Joaquin: It's "nang mag-isa kong mabata ang aking kapalaran."

Joaquin's still reading his Filipino in a cutesy accent that's still off.

Sean/memorizing Sebastian: Right! "Nang mag-isa kong mabata ang aking kapalaran. Napakasama namang sukli sa 'yong pagmamahal kung isasali pa kita sa ganitong kasamaan."

Sean continues reciting the lines while looking at Joaquin. His eyes are expressive; smiling eyes if that was ever the term for it.

_ _ _

During first company call when actors and production staff are gathered to take notes from the director before rehearsals.

Sir Ricky: Now, I want you to think at what this unravelling is all about: APPEARANCE versus DESIRE.

_ _ _

Swimming P.E. Class.

Sean is seated by the bleachers near the pool wearing his swim trunks. A towel is draped on his back. He's holding a script, obviously memorizing and reciting his part. Joaquin is seated to the right of him, holding the class beadle's clipboard and a plastic tumbler of post it notes. Guys from the class are taking turns to draw lots from the plastic tumbler for some class activity.

_ _ _

The director continues to explain the the play to them during company call.

Sir Ricky: That's why the play is also called "What You Will" or "Kung Anong Ibigin". We should be able to bring our audience to ask for themselves, "Will you follow your heart's desire? Will you love the person whom the very fibre of your being calls for, longs for, who is in your every thought or breath? Or will you follow the dictates of society? Will you follow what society deems acceptable or what it perceives to be normal?"

_ _ _

Sean comes out from the glass door of FB Hall lobby.

He sees Nerissa ride Joaquin's car.
Joaquin lowers the car window on the driver's side and gestures with his iPhone.

Phone vibrates.

Text message.

Joaquin:
Sorry. Don't worry, I asked Artie to give you a ride home. He's in the area. Call you when I'm home.

_ _ _

Sean is doing his blocking on stage with a script still on hand.

Sir Ricky: That does not look like a good mark to start the line from. Why don't you take a few steps back?

Sean re-traces his steps and moves more to upstage right.

Sean: Right here, sir?

Sir Ricky: Let's try that from there.

Sean/playing Sebastian: "Hindi ko na sana ibig na abalahin ka; Ngunit dahil kaligayahan mo ang mag-hirap, Hindi na kita sisisihin."

_ _ _

During one rehearsal while waiting for his cue, Sean and Joaquin are on the floor of the audience are of the mini theater. There's a group of other students near where they are with hot-melt glue guns and scissors on hand working on headdresses for the play.

Sean's working on his Math 11 assignment. He's struggling with it. His handouts and school stuff are all over the floor. Joaquin's seated right beside him reading his own handouts.

Abbie: Sean, you need to get fitted for your costume.

Sean gets up and leaves his homework in on the floor. Joaquin watches him as he walks off.

Joaquin grabs the workbook and starts working on the math problem Sean left behind.

_ _ _

Another company call.

Sir Ricky: "Asides" are plot devices that give the audience a sliver of what's going on in the minds of the characters at that exact moment of the play. Asides often make the actors break the fourth wall and engage the audience to a certain degree. It's exploited in the movies when the actor suddenly talks to the camera and gives a reaction that is quite removed from the action. But don't mistake asides from cinematic narration. So Jerome, if you say, "Heto ang ang Kondesa: sumasayad ang langit sa lupa!" I want you to say "Sumasayad ang lannngggiiittt sa luuhppaaa" with orgasmic flair!

There's a collective laughter from the cast and crew.

_ _ _

Rehearsal

Nerissa/playing Cesario: "Tiyak... "

She looks at where Joaquin and Sean are seated, they're whispering about something. Sean and Joaquin break into a laugh at their corner of the mini theater.

Christine/playing Countess Olivia: Nerissa, it's your line.

Nerissa is trying to gather her line from the cue but couldn't.

Nerissa: I'm sorry, line please?

Abbie: the line is: "Tiyak na kung ikaw nga siya, pinapanggap mo'ng iyong sarili —"

Nerissa: Oh right ....

Sir Ricky: Focus, Nerissa!

_ _ _

At the bench. Joaquin is seen holding a folder and reading from it.

Joaquin/reading Antonio's part: "Ipagpaumanhin sa akin, ginoo, ang aba mong kapalaran."

Sean/reciting Sebastian: "Ay butihing Antonio, ipagpatawad ang abala sayo."

Joaquin/reading Antonio's part: "Kung hindi mo ako papatayin dala ng pagmamahal sayo, tulutan mong makapaglingkod ako bilang utusan mo."

Sean/reciting Sebastian: "Kung hindi mo babawiin ang iyong nagawa na , at papatayin ang sinagip sa kamatayan, huwag mo yang hangarin —Wait, don't tell me, I got this.

Joaquin is looking intently at Sean waiting for him to remember the line.

Sean/reciting Sebastian: "Paalam na agad. Puno ng damdamin ang aking dibdib, at sa labis akong nagmana sa ugali ng aking ina; walang kamukat-mukat, nag-iiwan ng bakas ang aking mata!"

Sean gets his lines out and looks pleased with himself while Joaquin, quite amused and proud, looks on.

_ _ _

A costume master is assisting Sean as he does a final fitting of his costume.

Sean looks at himself in the mirror as the cape is draped on his shoulder.

It's a cream stylized Elizabethan era men's ensemble with black details. Imagine it as a mix of old and new but still looking out of our own time.

Another student fits a customized wig on Sean's head.

_ _ _

Rehearsal.

Christine/playing Countess Olivia: Kamangha-mangha! Ma-aari at Di Ma-aari!

Sean as Sebastian and Nerissa as Viola/Cesario are revealed by a special light on stage.

With the costumes and wigs on, they really look like twins!

_ _ _

🎶 Don't let gooo...
One dance left! 🎶

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