Finian's POV
Hand in mine, it feels right, nothing wrong with what I'm feeling.
"Now come let's get dressed, we have a sharp tooth devil we need to deal with." Victoria's shocked, her emotions no longer hidden. I'm able to read her like an open book.
She thinks that I'm in love with Meela. The need to calm Victoria's fears down as soon as I figure out what I feel towards Meela? It complicated, there's this unexplainable draw to her, but in love, no, I don't love females.
The demon appears to be settling in comfortably on my shoulder as if he's running late for the show that's just about to begin.
Walking her out of the bathroom, staring hard at any male eyes that even think of traveling down her body in want, I will end them all without even a thought. It would have been so much easier if Victoria had someone else other than my brother, I could have just disposed of the male and be done with it. I do notice the way Becca's eye greedily sweeps over the length of Victoria, a body she knows so well.
She's no competition, nothing Victoria can possibly desire, too weak. How can she compete with what I can offer Victoria?
A Kingdom
The memories of them together, Victoria's sharp intake of breath, eyes closed, powerful moans,
"Beautiful"....Becca's whispered words into her ear, kissing her neck causing Victoria to shudder in make-believe pleasure. What she's pretending in this moment is that it's me with her. She's dreaming it's me, it magnifies her pleasure, for those few precious seconds, it's not Becca who's bringing toe-curling bliss, it's my face. If she isn't careful she would have whispered my name out loud.
With Grey, she never had to pretend he was the real until my eyes found hers, ruining her dreams of what Grey could have been to her. Never would she look at him again that way. Shoving all thoughts of him deep down with memories she wants to pretend never happened...but they did happen.
The demon on my shoulder wanting me to go back, focus more on the two females together. I would be interested in watching more of that except it doesn't bring me that kind of pleasure. The hollowness when the pretending ends with the opening of Victoria's eyes grip my soul, so lonely for so long even in the company of another.
Watching her dress, she's nervous, eyes keep looking at me, her upturned lips still remain on her face. She touches her lips, before dropping her hands, she's starting to feel as if she's lucky in a guarded way. That there might be a chance at something new, the little pup makes no appearance still hiding under the bed, so the monster doesn't hurt her with what she knows to be a truth, everyone either hurts her or leaves her to go to the Moon.
No one ever stays, nothing ever good happens, she has a way of ruining anything good that comes her way...a destroyer of goodness.
The wolf inside her always watching my every move, studying me, taking notes. I never realized how much the wolf see's. Stalking my movements, just waiting for her opportunity to take me out.
Unnerving
Dressing, her eyes can't stop rolling over flesh, now her mind is letting me know how much she appreciates my skin side.
Hungry thoughts of consumption rolling around her unfiltered mind, makes my own starving needs start to rise.
The demon laughing out words, "dirty, filthy, without honor," all filling up my plate for me to eat every word back down, it's hard to swallow all the hate I've spewed over the years, it fills me up with a heaviness that sinks to the bottom of my stomach.
Taking her hand once again in mine, I need to teach her that I can lead her better than she can lead herself.
Walking into the kitchen Meela is still there with Grey, he's nuzzling her neck, while her fingers are running through his hair. Sitting down at the head, Grey on my left, Victoria on my right this feels right.
Victoria has a soft look on her face towards them until Meela raises her golden eyes and looks directly into Victoria's, I can actually feel her wolf rise and stretch out her back.
Assessing this threat before laying back down, head on paws watching this golden eye wolf very closely.
She thinks that Meela smells fresh as spring blossoms on a tree bursting with life, I find her to smell of the sun, a natural warmth.
"You don't scare me, Victoria." Looking at Grey he takes a breath but Victoria no longer taking a soothing breath in. She looks at Meela, the wolf standing up inside her. She hasn't had any kind of female fight that was worth getting her fur ruffled, ever.
Darken deep sea blue is regarding Meela, her stance straightening out, shoulders back, her Nature rising to the surface.
"I don't scare you?" The way Victoria says it is to elicit a cold chill down any wolf's spine.
Meela is a without fear even looking in the face of something that could end within seconds. The wolf of Victoria takes notice of this undiluted courage.
My brother's female has such strength, but a sharp tongue that will get her into trouble with my female who takes a challenge seriously. It's one thing to tell her she is born wrong, it's on an entirely different playing field to stand there and look at her in the eyes and tell her she doesn't scare her. Grey trying so hard to smooth Meela's ruffled up fur.
I need to step in before Victoria sets off a chain reaction.
"Meela you're not listening, open your ears and listen. I won't repeat myself." Saying it harshly to drive my point home to this female who does not listen to reason. Grey must have all the patience of the Moon with trying to handle her.
Grey doing his best to settle her, still she looks into Victoria's eyes, antagonizing the beast that will not tolerate any direct challenge to her Nature.
Grey flashes teeth towards me, which now has my wolf taking notice of my brother. Victoria thinking that she was just a battle but Meela is a war between us. She thinks that Grey would fight me to the death if that war would ever come between his mate and myself.
Standing up slowly, approaching the both of them, the smell of her is luring, it's just so easy to be consumed by it if I let it.
Grey's silver eyes stare back at mine when I inhale her scent, sitting close to her. My thigh brushing up against her thigh, bringing pleasing sensations that wash throughout my system.
Tension leaking thick in the air.
When I place my hand next to hers, she brushes her thumbs against my knuckles in a soothing manner just like she's doing to Grey, calming our Nature down which is working.
Her touch has a natural calming affect.
A perfection of fury is focusing on my hand, where delicate fingers are touching my skin. Looking up I'm met with the wolf's eyes staring at me, judging me, watching me in invisible rage.
Worthless male
Looking down at my hand, pulling it away, clenching my fists tight.
This pull towards Meela is not what I want to feel, I don't want to covet what's not mine. I just can't help myself, sometimes.
"Meela, this is going to happen, maybe not today but it will. Your brother has a place with us, but he can't lead for much longer, others are already at his door encroaching in on his territory, they will not spare him or his warriors. The females will be spared but at what cost."
I just need to make her understand that when the time comes, we will help her brother and he will have a place with us. The weak can't lead, and I have heard rumors how really weak the southern pack is. It will fall eventually, and I will be there to raise it up. Without the need for bloodshed, it's just a matter of waiting for the right opportunity, we have time. Now it's getting Meela on board with the idea, her feelings matter to me.
"Meela listen to us, we won't hurt your brother, he will not meet death, we're giving him the choice of life." Victoria's voice is one that would be used on a young pup with a bleeding knee trying to calm its fears that they are bleeding out from just a drop of blood.
"Lisen to the offer." Grey's lips brush Meela's ear, a memory of him holding Victoria just as he is now, his lips on her ear, kissing her gently while she's sitting on his lap. It takes everything for me not to hit him in this moment, I have to try and remember that it happened a long time ago, he didn't know that Victoria was my mate.
"Offer, you make it sound so easy." Spitting out words that are hot like acid, trying to burn us all. Meela so passionate in her love for family she will fight even me. I just have to convince her that she needs to see this as a good thing, not something bad.
"He will be one of my Beta's, continue to live on the southern land, not one member of his pack dies, not one. They will have free reign over all our land and they can search for their mates. your brother will find his mate in our land, he also will get to see you."
I've heard rumours of what her brother has tastes for, I wonder if she knows this?
She needs to be made to understand that this is not a hostile take over more of a merger with me at the head of the table, there can only be one boss.
"Or we will sit back and listen to their death cries as the pack gets slaughtered. He can't hold it, that's a fact, Meela. We're extending a hand to him." I need this to sink into her reason, she needs to see that I am the only hope for the South. I need to turn her mindset around that instead of me bringing destruction I'm it's salvation.
"It's about choices, I have no doubts he will make the right one. If he doesn't, we won't save the pack, we'll step back and watch it all burn."
Victoria regarding me in this moment as a rising King of a newly expanding kingdom.
Looking back at Grey, he easily pulls his female on his lap. Rubbing her back while she starts to cry for her brother. It's too much to see her hurting, the need to provide comfort for her is overwhelming. Rubbing her back, so close to her my lips almost brush against her flesh, it's desire invoking. She's so delicate, so fragile in this moment, pleading golden eyes look up at me through dark lashes, it takes all my will not to take her off Grey's lap and put her on mine.
Jaded vision
Female jealousy, I know this look on Victoria's face. Without even having to read her mind, I can tell what she's thinking, so many females wore this look while around me. All jostling for a position that they thought was theirs. Doesn't Victoria understand she holds that position now, no one can take that away from her, not even Meela?
Her throat is constricting inside her, unable to really breathe. Darkening eyes meet mine head on, she want's to burn me alive, peel my flesh away from my body, hurt me the way she's hurting, except her pain, is so much worse than anything she could inflict on me. Worst of all she hates herself for wanting me to want her the way she thinks I want Meela.
I can't meet her eyes any longer, I just can't comfort her like I want to. I just can't do it.
I'm sorry.
The little pup still hiding under her bed makes her thoughts known, she can forgive me because she understands that she just wasn't made to be loved in that way. She doesn't even love herself anymore. She's nothing but a putrid pile of filth...that's what I have instilled into this little tiny pup who now see's her rotten teeth and smells her stinking soul.
Jealousy's sour smell has Meela's head raising off of Grey's shoulder, looking at my female's ugly face of jealousy. "He's mine, Victoria you have someone." A Blown out breath, eyes closing, she finds this almost funny, almost.
"Meela it's not what you think." Filtering sadness crosses her face.
"Grey's my friend Meela, I'm sorry we have a history together, I'm sorry if that rubs you the wrong way." She feels like me second best in this moment, she understands my draw to Meela. Her thoughts now telling her how I could be happy with Meela, how she would be my pretend paradise. I could settle for Meela and be content with that.
Victoria's hemmoraging soul bleeds out in front of me and I do nothing to stop it.
My idea's of who I thought Victoria was, and who Victoria is, conflicts my feeling towards her. I can't forget that she was with my brother but I'm starting to understand it.
We all just want to feel love for a moment....
"Stop it Victoria. You think you know everything you don't." Hissing my words out that makes her imagination stop with thoughts of how perfect Meela is for me and how wrong she is for me.
A need to at least set some things right. I might not be able to tell Victoria that I love her but I can make her feel special in ways that will hit her heart.
"Meela one more thing." Crouching to eye level. "Never feel sorry for me, I'm happy with what I have. She's perfect in every way never doubt that, if you ever say anything like that to her again I will give her permission to school you in the fine art of understanding your place." Flashing my teeth towards her, the wolf inside me so proud of this show of affection towards his mate.
"Fin, do not threaten my mate." Grey now standing pushing Meela away from him, standing in front of her. My aggression towards him starts to ascend.
"Stop, just stop." Meela's voice breaking through the tension.
Woodpecker
Victoria's thoughts of Meela has me laughing, tension instantly gone, somehow Victoria can ease my turbulent thoughts with just a thought. My hand going on Grey's shoulder in order to disperse the testosterone that's oozing out of both our pores.
"Victoria I didn't know you had a sense of humor?" Still laughing, she's right Meela is like a woodpecker in a certain way, she will keep banging on any hard surface trying to crack it.
"Grey come let's go have a drink to Victoria being funny, who knew." This is what we need in this moment to take a step away from this highly tense situation.
"Victoria be nice." Grey gives a warning to Victoria who pays it no mind. She feels as if she is more than him. That she can make him kneel down to her, she has no idea that he kneels to no one, not even to me.
We've had that battle and neither us was willing to bend to the others will, it would go to the death, neither one of us wanting that fight, we're brothers.
Another memory, her fighting Grey, her gloating inside with how she's overpowering him as his rib breaks in his chest. Blood dripping down the side of his split lip. Back then she could have beaten him, but now there is absolutely no way. She doesn't have the skill level. She has natural ability but they were never nurtured, grown or encouraged, it's all self-taught. Grey's natural ability has been cultivated, grown into something that could put her skin side down easily now.
Fixing drinks for Grey and myself, I notice that all the bottles of red wine are gone, she has emptied my entire stock of wine. She drinks more that she thinks she does.
"Fin, you understand that Meela is my mate, right?" Grey sipping on the whiskey glass I just handed him.
"I understand, Grey."
"Good, just keep understanding that and we shouldn't have any problems." He raises his glass this time in cheers, looking me in the eyes. Driving his point hard into me. He doesn't look away, he never has, never will.
"I understand what you're feeling towards my mate, I'm trying hard Fin to be the bigger wolf but know this, I will fight for her." He finishes the rest of his whiskey while I have just begun to sip mine.
A crash of a chair from the kitchen has the both of us running towards females who maybe shouldn't have been left alone.
Vortex of power, spiralling darkening eyes clouding out her sky blue. The wolf ascending almost to the surface, Victoria has great control in this moment, her own personal demons sitting on her shoulder tempting her to extinguish life.
Victoria has Meela by the neck, squeezing her tight so she is unable to make a sound. Victoria's lips bloodied by Meela's open throat. It's a deep bite, something that will leave a lasting reminder of a lesson learned.
"Victoria let her go." Grey's teeth starting to descend slightly. Victoria's body shaking in the greatest form of restraint, she wants to snap her neck, crush her vertebrae into rubble. A blue tinge appears on Meela's lips with the depletion of oxygen. Victoria's eyes never leaving Meela's even when Meela goes on her knee's in front of Victoria.
Submission
Meela looks away first conceding to power. She angles her head slightly, tilting her throat more towards Victoria's teeth. She holds Meela for a few seconds longer before letting her go. Grey picks up Meela rocking the Luna of the north who just submitted to a high power.
"What have you done Victoria?" She's upsetting the balance of things.
"What I should have done in the first place, Meela you need to thank Fin for your life. He's taught me you don't always need to take a life to prove a point." She's been watching me.
Victoria almost hits my shoulder but thinks better of it before walking past me.
"Meela why would Victoria do that to you?" A look of guilt shadows that beautiful face of hers. Victoria only reacts if provoked, Meela must have used a big stick to rattle her cage.
"I said something that was wrong. I just wanted to hurt her where I know she would feel it." Closing my eyes, I need all the patience of the Moon to deal with fighting females.
"What did you say to her?" Grey's voice holds an edge of pain, knowing this won't be good.
"I said, how does it feel to have Fin look at me like Grey use to look at you?" Grey lets Meela stand on her own two feet. "Victoria was justified in what she did." His voice trailing away from her in disgust, hitting my shoulder on the way by.
"Meela-"
"I know, I'm sorry, I just wanted to hurt her. I knew I could say that and it would hurt her."
The demon laughing,"Isn't this what you wanted Finian for Victoria to hurt? To feel pain, to feel unloved by her own mate, this is what you want, go ahead high five Meela, what a good little female she is wanting the same things as you. What a match you two would have been."
Looking at Meela in this moment her pedestal tumbles to the ground.
"Don't ever say anything like that again, do you understand. If you're going to be mad at anyone be mad at me, it's my idea to take you brothers territory, he can't hold it and Victoria deserve a Kingdom for having someone like me as a mate, it's the least I can give her." It's my turn to walk away in disgust.
Waiting for Victoria to come out of the shower, she's full of swirling doubts, apprehension on how I'm going to reprimand her for being herself.
The minute she comes out, I voice my thoughts.
"You were justified. She told us what she said, Grey understands but he's upset. Are you hurt?" I know she's not hurt it gives me an excuse to look at my mark on her neck. Always it draws my eyes.
"No." She tries to hide in the closet away from me, just like the little pup hides under the bed.
"You don't believe that do you?"
"Yes, I believe it Fin, the way you were treating her and putting her before the pack, I saw it with my own eyes, but me. I will never have that from you." All she wants from me is my affection.
"Victoria it's complicated, it's what she needed at the moment, she's in a fragile state and I was trying to make it easier on her." Going into the closet with her, so she has to look at me. Hands on her waist, it's natural to pull her into me. I feel bad for making her feel this way.
"I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I never meant for you to feel like I feel, second best." Letting out some of my anxieties out has the weight on my shoulders lifting.
"I never meant for you to feel that way, Fin." The bluest eyes I have ever seen regarding me, holding me to her.
Kissing her shoulder because I can't stop myself from doing that. "Can't you just be happy with this right now?" It's all I can give, nothing more nothing less.
She feels as if asking for more is being spoiled.
She accepts what I'm willing to offer in this moment, all she has to do is kiss me back, while I drown myself in bonds great waves of pleasure while starting to feel so much more than what the bond can offer me.