Chapter 2
School was starting to be on a regular basis, well 5 weeks in it should be. I got an occasional, ‘how are things going?’ question from Mrs. Jones. My answered remained the same, ‘good’. It was Monday, finally, after the long weekend I have had I was thankful for it. Meredith decided to take the weekend off. I guess that is all I have to say. I got up at 6, I let myself sleep in a little extra this morning, I wasn’t feeling great however. My stomach wasn’t in the best form but I went on to school like normal.
When I got into the car this morning Nick took one look at me and said, “Are you feeling ok?”
“Yeah, sort of, why?”
“You are totally flushed, maybe you should stay home and rest today.”
“No, I will be ok, I promise.”
Nick shrugged his shoulders and we went on to get Erica and then we were off to school, my stomach got a bit queasier on the way there. I figured I wasn’t going to push it, and I was thankful I did not have P.E today. I gave Nick a kiss and waved to Erica and then went to Chemistry, yet again I was the first one there. I walked in and almost fell backwards, I had gotten a bit dizzy but I was ok. I sat down and my face was hot, my stomach twirled even more. I felt like I was going to get sick.
“Casey are yo-” Before Mrs. Jones could finish I was flying out of the room and to the bathroom holding my mouth so I wouldn’t vomit all over the place. The bell had rang in my absence and I was sitting there for about 15 minutes, when I felt a bit better I stood up and washed my hands and my mouth out. I looked in the mirror and I was flushed, I was so pale. I decided I was okay and popped a mint into my mouth and went back to class. I got a weird glare from everyone when I walked in and I ignored it. The rest of class went on and when the bell rang I got up to leave and I said, “I’m fine.”
Global History was a fly by; I laid my head down all hour because I was so nauseous. Trig was next and it was only 2 rooms away, I sat down in my seat and waited for Erica, but just as I got all set, bam, my stomach dropped. I held my hand to my mouth and one on my stomach and ran to the bathroom. “Casey!!” Mr. Smith yelled as I was running. I got to the bathroom and got sick again. I sat there for about 20 minutes and got sick once more. I was so queasy and sick I didn’t even want to get up. Apparently Mr. Smith had called the nurse because she was knocking on the stall door I was sitting in. “Casey? Casey dear are you okay?” She repeated, then when I felt ok enough to speak I said, “No.”
The nurse, Mrs. Charley, was a young woman, about early 30’s she had long dark brown hair like me, she was about my height, she was so nice, she was married and had 2 baby girls. I really did like her.
After another minute I felt ok to stand, my head spun for a second and I walked out of the stall, then walked over to the sink and washed off my face and my mouth then stuck a piece of gum in my mouth.
“Casey, come to my office and I will see what is going on, okay?”
I nodded, we walked slowly because I really couldn’t walk fast at the moment. We walked in and I took a seat, she asked me a series of questions,
“Did you eat something to have gotten you sick? Or were you already sick?”
“No.”
“No virus or anything? When did the come on?”
“First hour.”
“Were you feeling ok this morning and last night?”
“Yes.”
She paused for a series of moments, she wrote a few things down then looked up at me and took a breath.
“Casey, is there any way you could be pregnant?”
“What!? No! I mean I don’t think so.”
“Have you had sex recently?”
“Before school started, but we were safe, I just got on a new pill about a month before, that was September 4th.”
“That was a bit over 5 weeks ago dear.” She handed me her mini calendar.
I looked at it and my eyes opened so wide…I was late, my period was late. I looked up and shot her a look.
“I’m late.”
“Dear, I have a pregnancy test, I think you need to take it.” She opened the box and handed it to me.
I was so frightened to the point where I didn’t even want to take it. She was pushing me now, this was all too fast. What if I was pregnant? What would Meredith do to me? What would I do with me? What about Nick? All this was running through my head. I walked to the bathroom in her office and took it. I stood up and walked out to the sink and mirror. I closed my eyes for a moment and prepared myself to look down, finally I toughed up and opened my eyes and looked down. My heart dropped when the tiny red + sign appear on the screen. My life was over.
I turned the corner from the bathroom to her office and leaned against the wall, my eyes got watery.
She got up and hugged me, “Casey, everything will be ok, I promise. Do you want to talk about it?”
“How and I supposed to raise a freaking kid. My mother will literally kill me, I am broke, and how am I supposed to break it to Nick?”
It was a crazy dream, I don’t think it could have been real. I had to have been dreaming. Well I knew I couldn’t tell Meredith, I won’t I would get kicked out. I certainly wasn’t ready to tell Nick. I felt like there was only one person in this world I could tell, Ms. Tyler. She was my seventh grade English teacher, we had this amazing best friend connection. I had always helped her and she always looked after me. We were like best friends. After seventh grade she gave me her cell phone number in case I ever needed her. However, I wasn’t ready to break the news yet, even to her or Erica. I wanted to get a plan together.
“Casey, are you ok?
I nodded.
“You know you have options.”
“Like?”
“Termination, or adoption.”
“I will not terminate this, it would haunt me forever. Maybe adoption but I would have to tell Ni-the dad first, then decide.”
“Do you want to go home?”
I nodded again and I figured Meredith was working so I didn’t have to worry about her being there. She had brought me home because I didn’t have a ride. When I walked in the house was yet again, a disaster. I didn’t care this time. I walked over to the couch and laid on it, within minutes I was asleep. When I finally woke up it was 11pm. I sat up really fast and my stomach dropped. Then after a few minutes with my head in the toilet, I walked out back into the living room. I noticed Meredith’s door was wide open. I walked over to her room and I flicked her light on. Absolutely everything was gone. There was however one piece of paper on the floor. I picked it up and it read:
Casey,
I’m gone, I went to live with that Kevin guy. Have fun by yourself, get a job lazy ass. I won’t be back we moved to Las Angeles, so don’t count on it. I was feeling generous and paid the bills a week ago and left you $50 of my earnings.
Meredith
P.S. Slut.
Wow, fantastic. Now I was finished, I can’t get a job, pregnant. I shivered at the word. Now was the time to tell Nick I guess. Then search for a job. I was so screwed.
I turned the light on in the living room and sat back down on the couch with my knee up and my arm resting on it, my head against my mouth. About 20 minutes later, there was a knock on my door. I was a bit afraid, I looked through the peek hole, it was Nick.
I opened the door, “Nick?”
“What are you doing up? And what happened to you today?”
I invited him in and we sat on the couch. “I went home because I was…sick.”
“Sick?”
“I got sick a few times.”
“Are you ok?”
A tear dripped down my face, I looked down and nodded.
“Casey, no you’re not tell me what’s going on?” He hugged me and kissed me.
First, before the big news, I handed him the note Meredith left me. It took him a few minutes to read it over, meanwhile, I was thinking about how I was going to break the news. None of my possibilities seemed to fit right.
“What the hell? She left?! You are NOT a slut!!!!” he was pissed.
“Yes… I am.”
“No you are not.”
I started crying, full blast tears.
“Baby, what’s wrong? You can tell me anything.”
I shook my head no.
He wiped my hair from my face and my tears, “Please.”
“I…I’m pr….pr-regnant.” I started bawling now.
He sat there staring at me, his eyes opened really wide, jaw was dropped.
After about 10 minutes of silence, “You’re…P-P-Pregn-nant?” Nick stuttered.
I nodded in shame, “I just found out today…that’s why I was sick all morning, I really don’t know what to do.” I started crying again.
“Sweetheart, don’t cry, we will get through this together, I promise I will NEVER leave you ever. We can do this, but it is only if you want to…Do you want to raise this baby?”
“I don’t know…I haven’t thought about it much. I just can’t process the thought that this is actually happening, to us…”
“It may take a while, but I will never leave you, I will always be by your side. Now…let’s go back to my house, I don’t want you to be here alone.” He wiped the tears from my face. Then he grabbed a pair of my jeans and a tee-shirt and undergarments from my room, I slid on my shoes and we left. However, just before he closed the door behind us one thought just clicked, I forgot, Meredith is gone.
We walked across the street and he grabbed my hand. When we got to his house and walked in, his mother was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and a magazine in her pajama’s.
“Nick, where we-oh hi Casey.” She said looking up.
“Mom, can I talk to you in private for a moment? Casey, you can go up to my room.”
I nodded and I went to the bathroom in Nick’s room to wash my face, then I remember the vent was there so I was listening to the conversation.
“What is going on sweetie, you look like you just saw a ghost.”
“Um, well, one part is this.” I heard a piece of paper being unfolded, he must have grabbed the note from my mother.
After few moments of silence then, “Oh dear god, I never liked that Meredith. She was always trouble, but why would she just up and leave her 16 year old daughter, and call her such a vial name?”
“I really don’t know and neither does Casey, however that isn’t the worst of the situations.”
“Before you tell me, what does Casey plan on doing now?”
“I really don’t know, but after I tell you this, maybe you might have some suggestion.”
“What is it Nick?”
Nick rubbed his hand from his forehead back through his hair and sighed, “Well…I don’t have an easy way to put this…but” he took a long pause.
“But? What is wrong with Casey, she isn’t in trouble or sick or anything?”
“Well, not necessarily ‘sick’, she is…um…p-pregnant.”
Theresa gasped, “Oh the poor soul, Nick did you even use protection?”
“She was on the pill! She had been on a new one for about a month! Then unfortunately the condom broke, but I thought we would have been safe with the pill, I didn’t know.”
“Nick, if she was on a new pill for ‘almost’ a month then it really hasn’t kicked in yet, it usually takes a little over a month. But, now that this is in play, you both need to get a plan together. Though I will do everything I can to help, on one condition.”
“What is that?” Nick was raspy, and stuttered a few times.
“You move Casey into this house, so we can help her, if she is going to go through this she needs a mother’s help, and Meredith would’ve only kicked her out anyways, she needs help Nick, this isn’t easy.”
“Thank you.” I heard the chair move, he must be hugging her or something, within a few moments I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I left the bathroom and then Nick walked in.
“My mom wants to see you downstairs.”
I nodded and proceeded down the stairs. When I got to the kitchen table I sat down.
“Sweetheart, Nick just told me. How are you doing?”
I tear went down my face, all I have done is cry and vomit all day.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of Casey, stuff like this happens. Now, I am going to be here for you, as I told Nick under one condition, I want you to move into here, because I am going to help you through this but it will be hard. This is your baby. In a few short 8 months you’re going to have a baby and that baby is your responsibility, but I will always be here to help you and guide you through it. Sound ok?”
“Yes, and thank you so much. I am going to get a job, if I can find one. Maybe I can take over the job Meredith had around the corner, I don’t know. Thank you so much for all of this, I am not totally alone now. I really appreciate this so much.”
“You’re welcome dear, so tomorrow when you come home from school we will move you in here, ok?”
I nodded, “now if you don’t mind, I am exhausted.”
“I bet, we will talk more tomorrow.”
I walked back up the stairs and into Nick’s room, he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I simply laid down in the bed and went to sleep, but on thought before I fell asleep crossed my mind, This is the exact spot that I was in when this whole situation started. I shed a tear and went right to sleep.
That morning Nick woke me up, “Case, time to get up it’s 6.” He kissed me and went to his closet to get out his clothes.
I got up and stretched, and then unfortunately just as I thought I wasn’t going to get sick this morning, bam. I ran to the bathroom and sat there for about 10 minutes.
Nick pounded on the door, “You ok?”
I kept getting sick and couldn’t answer him. He kept knocking and kept getting more and more worried each time. Finally he opened the door and I was sitting against the wall across from the toilet with my knees folded against my chest. Nick came and sat down next to me, “You don’t have to go to school you know, if you’re really not feeling good.”
“Yes I do or I’ll never want to go to school, and I have never missed a day. I guess I will just have to puke my guts out.”
“I feel so horrible.”
“Why?”
“I did this to you, I made this happen, it is all my fault.”
“It’s my fault too, but you’re lucky you don’t have to show it for 9 months, I do.”
“Something else to feel worse about, I am so sorry Casey, I really mean it.”
“Don’t be sorry, please.”
“I will always feel sorry, I ruined your life.”
“Stop blaming yourself. It is my fault too, but we need to stop feeling sorry, we have a new thing to feel sorry for, this baby.”
Nick started crying really hard, I felt bad I never have seen him cry so hard. A few tears went down my face I felt so bad for making him feel this way, I wish this would have been a moment where I was sick free, but I leaned forward and out it came again. I was so tired of vomiting my guts out. I leaned back against the wall and sighed.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” Nick kept saying it over and over again.
I leaned over and hugged him, “it will be ok, it will, I hope.”
He looked up at me and wiped his tears away; he nodded and helped me up after he got up. I quickly got ready and he just sat on his bed staring off. I knew exactly what he would be thinking about all day. We got ready and we left for school. Erica got in and said, “Why so glum you guys?”
“Nothing,” I said, “Just leave it for now ok?”
She nodded, the whole ride to school, it was very awkward. As I was walking to Chemistry everything about yesterday and this morning was running through my head. I kept picturing nick crying like he was, it made me tear up. I felt like I was running his life. Why didn’t I go with my gut feeling and stop? I regret everything.
I walked into chemistry and I thought I was about to get sick, I stopped and then closed my eyes for a second and walked forward again.
“Casey, are you okay you have been awful funny these last couple of days?” Mrs. Jones asked.
I nodded because I thought I was going to cry, I turned my head so she wouldn’t see the tears rolling down my face. I heard her walking towards me.
“Casey, what is really going on? You seem really upset. You know you can trust me.” She put her hand on my shoulder.
“I…I am fine.”
“Ok. Well I am here okay?”
I nodded and went to my seat in silence; I stayed that way all period.
Global History was the same, but a few things changed with Trigonometry came. I walked in and sat down and Erica came through the door, “What the hell is going on Casey?”
“What do you mean?”
“Alice said that on her way to school she saw a for sale sign on your house, did you want to tell me something?”
“Meredith left me last night, she’s gone she went to L.A, So I moved in with Nick.”
“Okay but why not me? You could’ve come to me.”
“Because Nick’s mother is going to help me.”
“Help you. Help you with what?!” she started getting really loud, Mr. Smith started looking at us weird.
I whispered, “I will tell you later.”
“No! Tell me now! Casey, something has been very odd about you for the last week and I want to know what it is, right now.”
Mr. Smith walked over, the bell just rang and everyone was just walking in, “Why don’t you two girls take this out in the hall for a moment and deal with what you need to deal with. Ok?”
We nodded and escorted ourselves out side in the hall way.
We closed the door behind us, “Well?”
I sighed, “Erica…I’m…pregnant.”
“WHAT?! Are you absolutely freaking kidding me right now?! You are sixteen Casey you can’t raise a baby!!!!!!” She absolutely freaked.
“And you think I don’t know this?! I know I am stupid and I don’t know what I am even doing but it was a mistake! I didn’t want this to happen but this is MY baby now and I will do what I have to do to make sure it is happy. So therefore I moved in with Nick mainly because of this and secondly because Meredith left.”
“Casey, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out on you, it is just a lot of news, and I am so sorry you have to go through this. I don’t know wha-,”
She got cut off and just stared passed me. I was very scared to see what she was staring at. I turned around slowly, I saw Nick standing behind me.
“You! How could you do this to her?!” Erica started yelling at him.
“Erica stop it! It’s my fault not his, do not blame him!!!” I got in between them, “Just stop this, it is all nonsen-.” I stopped and ran into the bathroom down the hall, I figured I was going to get sick once more this morning.
I heard a “Casey?!” running down the hall behind me, Nick followed me. Everything fell silent. Then I heard Erica’s voice and a man’s voice, Mr. Smith.
“Is everything okay out here? I heard some yelling.”
“Yeah we are fine, but Casey is in the bathroom, vomiting her guts out.”
I walked out of the bathroom and got an awkward look from Mr. Smith. I let it slide. The rest of class dragged on and I knew Erica was thinking all through it, so was I. The bell rang an just as I was about to leave, Mr. Smith asked to see me.
“Yeah?”
“What’s going on Casey, you have been acting really weird lately?”
“Wow, Mrs. Jones asked me the same thing. However, I am fine…”
“Well, all of us have been worried about you, all of us teachers meet during 5th period every day. We discussed you yesterday.”
“Wow, of course you did. I am fine…I promise…” of freaking course a tear ran down my face.
“Hey Casey, you can tell me anything. I promise I can do all I can to help you with whatever is going on. Maybe I have even been through it in my teen years.”
“I highly doubt that.”
He shrugged his shoulders, “Well, just know I am here.”
The rest of the day was silent for me. When choir hit I had been so stressed out I wanted to rip my brain out of my head to make it stop thinking. I buried my face into my hands and leaned forward and placed my arms against my thighs, I kept like that all hour. I eventually figured Mrs. Rays would ask me if I was ok, but I honestly did not care, I wasn’t. Maybe I should tell someone and get it off of my chest. Who could I trust? Could I trust Mrs. Rays? It seemed like my only possibility, I almost told Mrs. Jones but now I can’t all the teachers talk, but I guess eventually she would find out…I just don’t know. I did, I got it Mrs. Rays did ask me at the end, “Casey are you ok?”
“Yea…I’m ok, just a bad day…”
“Hmm, okay well, I am here if you need to talk.”
I nodded my head and left, chance, it was too risky. I was really tired, and all I wanted to do was take a nap. I went to find Nick because all I wanted to do was drop in bed and sleep the rest of my life away, I really couldn’t believe this was happening. Nothing seems to go right for me anymore, Meredith left, my dad left, I’m 16 and freaking pregnant. What else? Hah, I better not even asked that. Unfortunately I got even more tired when I remembered we were moving me into Nick’s place today. Then another thought clicked into my head, didn’t Erica say something about a for sale sign in front of my house? Did they get my stuff, not like it was much, it was clothes and a dresser. That mattress was crap anyways; it could go into the garbage. I finally found Nick, he was standing outside of a classroom talking to a teacher. I waited around the corner so I wouldn’t interrupt him, I didn’t want to eavesdrop either but I did over hear something, the teacher said “Nick, you need to shape up buddy, the past few days you have been really glum, you failed your Calculus test. I will give you a retake thought, maybe next week. Stay after school if you need help ok?”
I didn’t hear a response from Nick, I assumed her just nodded. I walked around the corner casually, “I’m sor-.”
He kissed me before I could finish, when he let go he said, “Don’t worry about it, I was never good at Calculus.”
I just smiled, I didn’t want to cause a scene or anything again. We just
simply left the school, with Erica, all she could do was blab on and on and on about my pregnancy. Finally after 10 minutes I looked her in the eye and said, “Shut the hell up!”
“Well geez, sorry.”
“Well geez nothing!!! I am so tired of talking about me being pregnant I could shoot myself in the foot, oh my god!” I freaked out. It was weird, I wasn’t even mad, I was just content and a little agitated. But that, that came out of nowhere. I felt bad for snapping at her but she stayed quiet for the ride. I wasn’t in the mood to hear anyone talk, wow, I was in a bad mood.
“How was your day you two?” Theresa said when we walked in the house.
“Ok.” Nick said.
“Hmm, and you Casey?” she looked at me.
“Horrible…”
“What happened?”
“Hah, it would be easier to answer what didn’t happen.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really, I am really tired.”
“And moody, don’t forget moody.” Nick joked getting us both orange juice.
“Haha, funny..” I rolled my eyes.
“Nick…and its okay, it’s just hormones.”
I chuckled a little, Nick then brought over the orange juice and I took a small sip, bad idea. I got up and ran to Nick’s bathroom upstairs. I just wanted to stop throwing up. I sat there for a few minutes against the wall, it was really hard to keep my eyes open, I just got really tired. I wasn’t ready to stand up yet. In about 5 minutes someone knocked on the door. I was close enough to reach the handle and let them in, it was Theresa.
She came in and sat next to me, “Are you okay?”
I nodded, “Will this ever stop?”
“Yes, it gets better, believe me I know.”
“I am getting so tired of it, I’m tired of it all, and eventually I am going to get fat.”
“Don’t be ashamed of it, yes its different but, think about in a matter of months you are going to have a beautiful baby, a baby who loves you.”
“I just can’t find the joy of being a 16 year old mother.”
“I know. It will be hard, but you can do it, I know you can Casey, you are a very strong girl.”
“I am apparently not strong enough to say no.”
“Well, there isn’t anything I can do about that, but I can help you with this baby, but you need to know this is your baby, even though I will help you.”
“I know that but I just can’t process it in my head.”
“You will get there, everything will get better.”
I nodded, the thought of actually being pregnant hasn’t hit me yet, I just knew it. I hadn’t accepted it, I hadn’t even processed it, but I knew it was. This wasn’t going to be great, I had dreamed about being a mom forever, but when I was older.
“I’m not even sure what I am supposed to do while I’m pregnant.”
“I scheduled you a doctor’s appointment tomorrow for you, I am getting from school at 11.”
“Is that a regular thing?”
“Yes, you have regular appointments, and ultrasounds and such.”
“This should be fun.”
“You have to eat healthy and take prenatal vitamins and not a lot of exercise, I imagine tomorrow the doctor will give you your excuse slip for P.E class.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”
“So, want to tell me why your day was so bad?”
“I told my best friend, Erica, today. She absolutely freaked on both of us. A few teachers asked me if I was okay, and I got sick once more.”
“I hate to say it but things are going to change for you, everywhere.”
“I know.”
“Nick and Mark are moving your dresser over here now; we are turning our guest room into your room and a nursery, it will take some remodeling of course. Want to go see the plans?”
“Absolutely.”
Theresa helped me up and we went across the hall, they had 2 spare rooms, one was pretty big, decent and the room next to it was basically storage closet, however big for a closet, bathroom sized almost. I looked in the spare room, it was empty now obviously. There was a rectangle of blue scotch tape on the wall though.
“So this will be it, but where the tape is we are going to cut that part of the wall out and make the storage closet a bathroom. Then after the remodeling it will be yours, it will take a while a month or two maybe at the rate we are at. It will be finished before the baby comes, I hope, you never know what will happen. What do you think?”
“It is amazing, I absolutely love it, thank you so much Theresa, I really appreciate all you have done for me.” I hugged her.
“You’re welcome Casey, and obviously for now you can sleep with Nick, he doesn’t mind, I asked him earlier.”
I nodded and smiled, maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.