A/n: You guys rock, seriously. I'm almost to 4,000 reads and almost to 750 votes. Please, keep voting and commenting, and reading. You guys make my day. Also, my poor Beta is not feel well, reading makes her quite ill (maybe it's just my writing that's making her ill LOL) But, you are going to continue to get the chapters without beta reading and assistance editing for the foreseeable future. I apologize now for spelling and grammatical errors in this thing, I can create a story, but I apparently don't have command over the nuances of the English language.
**Edit** My wattpad app and when I log in on my computer, only shows one copy of the chapter at this point. I'm not sure what else to do to fix it for you if you are still seeing two Chapter 10s in this posting. I apologize for any confusion.
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I was cuddled up under my comforter, a warm body plastered behind me on my couch. Strong arms held me in an iron grip. Leather and Cyprus filled my nose, it was Nathan. A goofy grin assailed my face as I thought about our afternoon together. Thinking about his hands and mouth all over my body made me ache again for him. We didn't have sex, in fact, I don't think Nathan got any relief at all as he focused all of his attention on me, but I definitely got satisfaction from our encounter. We must have fallen asleep at some point, or, I guess I fell asleep. But, by the steady even rhythm of his breathing, Nathan was sound asleep behind me.
The comforter was pulled away from my head suddenly, the light pouring through the windows blinding me. My hand shot up, covering my eyes, protecting myself from going blind from the intrusive sunlight. I groaned, irritated that my cozy little bubble was once again popped. Luke's sweet scent mingled with Nathan's. As my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I could only surmise Luke was the culprit. I didn't hear anyone or smell anyone else in the condo with me. I sighed internally. I was hoping to not have to deal with any of the other guys today. It's been emotional and we're on such shaky ground as it is, I wanted to do this a bit slower. I shot Luke a look as my eyesight returned to me. I didn't want to wake Nathan behind me. I had a feeling that none of my guys had slept very well since Friday so he probably needed this nap.
'What do you want?' I signed to Luke. He looked around the condo for a moment, then at Nathan and me before responding.
'We'll be in a ton of trouble if the Doc and boss man realize Nathan was here alone with you.' He signed back. I snorted.
'Nathan has special permission to be here with me alone.' I responded vaguely. The shocked look on Luke's face almost made me laugh. Then, his face fell. I'd never seen Luke so crestfallen before. It was like someone stole all of his candy and ate it in front of him. My heart broke. Then the anger came back and I wiggled out of Nathan's arms, sitting up
'Don't give me that look, Luke. You all made your bed. Now you have to lay in it.' I was angry that he felt like I was betraying him somehow being able to be alone with Nathan. Not so great being out of the loop is it, I thought.
'I know that Cupcake. Look,' he looked back at Nathan and blew out a huff of air, 'Can we go onto the porch, or your bedroom or something and actually talk?' His body was tense, ready for my rejection. I sighed heavily, scrubbing my face with my hands, trying to delay this talk. I wasn't sure how I felt yet about Luke's involvement, wasn't sure I could forgive him yet even if he apologized to me. I definitely wasn't ready to forgive the others. I met his eyes and nodded. I stood, adjusted my clothes to cover myself properly again, not missing the look Luke shot at Nathan's sleeping form. Jealousy was not a good look on Luke. Just wait till they found out I was going out on a date with Gabriel.
I marched out onto the balcony. I wasn't worried about the guys being able to hear my conversation, with the ocean so close, and then the seagulls and occasional traffic up and down the street, there was enough ambient noise to muffle anything we had to say. I was more concerned about being overhead in my bedroom. The wall between Victor's condo and mine in the bedroom was much thinner than we would like. After the first week, he had construction crews in his place, remodeling the floor plan so our masters weren't joined by that this wall. He needed a bit of a buffer so he wouldn't hear every noise I made while with one of his brothers. The other guys got a good laugh in until Victor produced video from his phone of some of them in the throws of passion. They were mortified and even offered to help with the remodel work after. But, they all knew that wall was thin and you could hear everything if we spoke above a whisper. Frankly, it was a little ridiculous. None of the other units had that issue, we tested it out by yelling obnoxiously to each other as the rest of the group tried to listen in from the other unit. Nothing. I was still debating tearing that joining wall down and rebuilding it with sound proofing between the two units.
Luke followed me out onto the balcony, shutting the french doors behind him. I faced out, away from the building toward the park and the ocean beyond. I really loved this view. It's partly what sold me on the purchase of the building and my particular unit. He came up quietly behind me. I could feel the tension vibrating off of him even though we weren't touching. I let out a slow breath, trying to get my anger under control. It wouldn't do either of us any good if I let it take hold. I waited for him. I didn't think there was anything I needed to say in particular at the moment.
"Is there still a chance for us, or have you washed your hands of us?" That wasn't what I was expecting, but I heard the biting tone and I wondered if he was coming out with guns drawn because of Nathan. I turned, to face him finally. He needed to see my eyes and know I was being honest with him.
"I love you, Luke. I will probably always love you. I love your brothers too. Still. That hasn't changed. But the trust this family had, that we'd developed over the last several years, that's been destroyed. You and your brothers took it upon yourselves to make a decision about my life without consulting me. If you had come and talked to me about your concerns, had a real conversation about what was worrying you, we could have been in a completely different place right now. But instead, none of you trusted me to be able to make the best decision for myself and my family." I raised my hand to cup the side of his face. He leaned into it, closing his eyes, soaking up the intimacy of the gesture. "The love is why I'm here, now, with you talking to you. If I didn't love you, or your brothers, I wouldn't have come back. You hurt my feelings, Luke. All of you did. All I could think about was 'Am I not good enough?' or 'Am I unable to keep up with them?' I just couldn't understand why you would do this if those weren't factors. I'm always so afraid you will all realize how unworthy I am." The tears came once again, but they were cleansing tears. I felt a little of that pressure on my soul lifting with my confession to him.
"I'll love you forever and always, Sang. I didn't realize you would see our actions this way. There is no way you could not be good enough. You're too good. It scared us. We were afraid we'd be left behind if you branched out and started working with other teams, started taking on tougher assignments." He brushed the tears away with the pad of his thumb, gently swiping at my cheek. "We wanted more time with you, to make sure you wouldn't leave us. This was our own insecurities, it had nothing to do with how we viewed your progress with us. You were gaining ground so quickly, we were afraid you would eclipse us and we would no longer be good enough for you. You would start to realize there are bigger and better things than us out there. At least, that's how I felt. I was afraid you were outgrowing me." His confession stunned me a little. I never once even considered that their actions were because of their fears about us. That maybe they weren't feeling secure enough in our relationship. Maybe these actions were the result of a deeper underlying issue. Perhaps the trust building activities were needed more than we thought, even before this all came to light. I pulled him into a tight hug. I didn't miss that he didn't actually apologize, so I wasn't ready to forgive him just yet. Regardless of their motives, their actions were still wrong. I firmly believed at this point that the road to hell was paved with good intentions.
"If we work on this, we can overcome it. We can get through anything, if we stick together. I'm not giving up, so you better not either." I whispered into his ear as he clung to me.
When Luke pulled away, there was renewed determination in his eyes. He kissed my cheek and left me out on the balcony to ponder what I was going to do about them. All too quickly, my phone dinged to remind me I needed to get ready for my date with Gabriel. I was melancholy as I showered, stuck in my head, hearing Luke's words run laps through my brain. I tried to push it all to the side, to return to after my date so as not to ruin tonight, however it had other thoughts. I just couldn't shake it.
My gloomy mood was still hovering over me when Gabriel came bouncing into my bedroom. He picked me up, swung me around with sheer joy on his face. He looked gorgeous in a sunset orange button down and dark wash jeans that hugged him perfectly. He wore shiny black dress shoes which pulled the outfit together. He was the picture of high class casual. I was still in a towel.
"Oye, Trouble, you're not ready yet! You're always on time. What's wrong?" He asked when he saw the misery on my face. "We don't have to do this tonight if you're not up to it." His voice was gentle, concerned for me. Hearing his tenderness warmed up the cold spot that had taken over after my conversation with Luke. Gabriel's presence was enough to evaporate the gloom and doom that was dominating my afternoon.
"Sorry, I talked to Luke earlier and I was in a funk afterwards. He gave me a lot to think about. I just got sucked into my head and couldn't find my way out. But, you showed up like a beacon and my little cloud disappeared." I smiled at him. Just having Gabriel here with me brightened my mood considerably. He gave me a quick squeeze and a peck on the cheek.
"Well, let's get you ready and start our evening." He breathed out as he realized I was still in my towel. "Fuck, Trouble. You are so tempting like that. I just want to say 'to hell' with our date and spend the evening worshiping you." I felt the blush rise and cover me completely down to my chest. "God, I love that I can still make you react like that." He grinned, winked and headed to my closet.
Gabriel came out with a lacy orange bra and a wrap dress of blush pink with orange flowers printed on it in a shade very similar to his shirt. The hem fell just above my knee while the three quarter length sleeves rendered a jacket unnecessary. He also pulled out blush pink ballet flats I didn't even realize I owned. It didn't surprise me because there was always new clothes, shoes and jewelry appearing in my closet and drawers.
Gabriel parked Victor's BMW, which he must have borrowed for this evening instead of driving us on his moped. The parking lot was empty except for just a few cars. They must belong to security and whatever employees were still here. He dragged me out of the car toward the front door.
"Isn't the Aquarium closed?" I asked, confused as to why we'd be here after hours. "You're not breaking into the aquarium are you? Gabriel Coleman, that is not acceptable behavior, plus I'm not dressed for that!" He chuckled as he wrapped an arm around my waist and stepped up to the door. He proceeded with a random knock sequence on the glass. I watched Gabriel's smile grow as we waited in front of the locked doors. I was itching to ask, but since he wasn't volunteering, I held my tongue.
Raven appeared on the other side of the glass. I couldn't hide my surprise as I turned to Gabriel. "Why is Raven inside the aquarium, unlocking the doors for us?" I couldn't hold in the questions any longer.
"I forgot you met Raven the other day. I was calling in a favor, but after I explained what I wanted to do, they offered to help out without calling in the favor they owed me. One of Raven's family members works here. I needed their help to set up this surprise for you." I was shocked into speechlessness. The Toma team was here most likely. I cringed inwardly. This could be awkward.
"Hello again little bird." Raven greeted me as always in Russian.
"Hello Raven. My team doesn't know I'm working with your team on an assignment. They need to pretend they don't know me." He crushed me into a hug, his mouth by my ear.
"I will tell my team. We will play this game." He responded again in Russian. I could see Gabriel's concern turning into something a little darker as he watched Raven hug me tight. I squirmed out of his arms and stepped back to Gabriel, taking his hand in mine.
"Raven, you need to learn some boundaries." I spoke in English this time.
"My little bird, I was just excited to see my new shooting buddy again so soon. We still good to meet up on Wednesday evening for your next shooting lesson?" I smiled and nodded.
"Is everything set up and ready, Raven?" Gabriel cut in.
"Da. Everything is as you requested." Raven winked at me before disappearing through a door marked 'Employees Only'. I assumed he was relaying my message to the rest of his team. Gabriel excitedly guided me through the aquarium. Low lights allowed us to see where we were going but caused the exhibits to glow in the dark as their lighting was still on and the vibrant colors swirled like paint strokes on the wall. It was beautiful.
"Gabriel, this is breathtaking." I exclaimed as I paused to watch jellyfish swim in a large round tank under black light. They glowed a light purple color as they circled the floor to ceiling tank.
"Just wait, Trouble, the best is yet to come." He grinned at me like Luke in a candy shop and we slowed our pace, giving me time to look at the various fish in the tanks as we passed. Dark tinted doors greeted us at the beginning of the next exhibit. I knew that beyond those doors was the large barrier reef exhibit, complete with a tunnel you could walk through as the fish, turtles and sharks swam around you and over your head. I always enjoyed the tunnel the most, but often, it was crowded and loud, because everyone else seemed to really enjoy it as well. My smile stretched across my face as I realized we'd get to go through the tunnel alone.
"Oh my gawd, Gabriel, this is one of the best dates I've ever been on!" I beamed at him, the childlike excitement plain to see on my face. His face softened as he reached out and tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear.
"I'm glad you are enjoying yourself, Trouble, there's still a little more to this date." With that, he ushered me in through the doors as we started to stroll down the tunnel. I was captivated by the large sea turtles gliding through the water, the schools of fish darting to and fro, that I missed an obvious obstruction in our path. When Gabriel stilled beside me, I was content to just watch the fish, but he tugged at my hand to get my attention. I was loathe to look away from the magic around us. That is, until I saw the magic that was all Gabriel Coleman in front of us.
Several candles of varying sizes were sitting atop a small table with two chairs. Like the other exhibits, the lights in the tunnel were turned low so there was just enough light to see by, while the lighting in the tank itself was dazzling. Gabriel held out a chair for me. I sat, entranced by the romantic, sweet, thoughtful gesture he pulled together on such short notice. He typed something into his phone quickly before setting it down. Moments later, Corey and Brandon waltzed in with plates piled high with food and wine in beautifully cut glasses. My eyes watered when I looked back to Gabriel.
"This is too much, Gabriel, thank-you." I smiled warmly at him as the two men placed out entries before us and glasses of wine, leaving the bottle.
"Sang, this is Corey and Brandon of the Toma team, Raven's family. I couldn't have done this without them." I smiled politely up at them.
"Are you two twins?" I asked, though it was obvious when they stood together in similar black slacks and black button down shirts.
"Yeah, we are. It's nice to meet you, Sang. I'm Corey, and this is my brother Brandon." 'Corey' grinned down at me mischievously. It was Brandon messing with me, but I couldn't correct him without giving away that I knew them.
"Corey, thank-you for helping out to make this happen." I addressed Brandon, but I smiled over at the real Corey who was quietly standing a half step behind his brother. They both smiled back and left without another word. This was definitely awkward. I mean, they knew I was with the entire Blackbourn team romantically, but I didn't know them before. Now I worried my lip with my teeth, wondering what their reaction to this is, what they might say to me now that we're working together. Would they judge me now that this was in their face?
"What has got your brain going so hard?" Gabriel asked, laughter in his voice.
"Huh?" Geez, Sang, that was eloquent. Gabriel's light-hearted laugh gave me a moment to process what he said as I blushed bright red. I felt like an idiot. "Oh, I was just trying to figure out how you tell them apart? The twins I mean." I gestured to the direction our servers went.
Was that believable? Maybe not. It seemed like a common twin thing. 'Who's who' and all that jazz. Is he going to get suspicious? I'd be suspicious of me by now. I'm acting like a space cadet tonight. I need to focus. It's not fair to Gabriel. He's trying so hard with this date, and I have to admit, he's hit it out of the ball park. I'm totally impressed. I can't believe none of the other guys thought of this given how much I love going through this tunnel when we visit. I could sit here for hours and watch the fish, turtles, sharks and stingrays swim all around me.
"To be honest, for the longest time, I couldn't tell them apart. But, Brandon started growing his hair out, so it became a thousand times easier." Gabe saw the confusion in my face. It was obvious he misunderstood the confusion when he spoke again, "Yes, Brandon was the one talking to you, they still like to try and confuse new people by switching identities." I was actually confused that anyone would have trouble telling them apart. I could tell almost immediately, by their eyes. I snickered a little that they would try to throw me a curve ball in front of Gabriel. What's up with all of my baseball references? I miss Silas.
"Thank-you." I focused on Gabriel. He's who I'm with right now. He did this for me and I love it. "This is one of the most wonderful date's any of you have taken on me. I'm blown away." I reach over the table and grasp his hand. The warmth and love that light his eyes melts me into a puddle.
"This is about us getting back to basics, so I'm going to woo the fuck outta you." Gabriel says with confidence, I can only laugh. It's so Gabriel. We eat and laugh and talk like we haven't talked in ages. When did we stop talking about our hopes and dreams for the future? When did our favorite movies and songs become irrelevant? We change and so do our opinions, likes, dislikes, hopes and fears. This is exactly what we needed.
"North told us about your target from the shooting range. That shit is fucking impressive, Trouble. You're a badass with guns!" His enthusiasm for something that I've recently discovered that I really enjoyed puts me at ease. I wasn't sure how the boys felt about this new talent of mine.
"I really loved shooting with Raven. We're going to be making some time soon to go back so he can show me more and let me shoot some other guns." even I can hear the excitement in my voice when I talk about it.
"You'll be in good hands. Raven is the best in the academy. He said you've got potential to be just as good as he is."
"You talked to Raven about me?" I asked hesitantly. What if he already spilled the beans to Gabriel? Does Gabe already know I know the Toma team then?
"Well, I was helping Brandon with some of the designs on a couple of custom bikes and Raven stopped by and I asked him about your shooting. He said you were a natural." Ugh. Gabriel has to already know I know the team. Why the charade then? Is he trying to get me to admit it?
"That was nice of Raven to say." I respond vaguely.
"Yeah, he doesn't give out compliments that easily. Brandon was even surprised and they're in the same family." Gabriel chuckled softly. "Brandon said he just had to meet the person who could impress Raven with their shooting." my cheeks flared. I was sure I was glowing pink from embarrassment.
"When did this conversation happen?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
"It was Saturday morning after our first set of hours. We were talking about what an idiot I was and how pissed you were at us." Wait a second. Gabriel talked to them about all of this? That was really embarrassing. The Toma team has known since the beginning about our family issues. But, they never said anything to me about it. They probably didn't want me to feel uncomfortable with them. I wasn't thrilled with Gabriel talking to other teams about our issues. Were they biased? Did they agree with my family? "Raven said it was a waste of good talent. He could have been working with you for months already. Brandon agreed that we were insane for keeping you from this for so long. Either we trusted you or we didn't. We were thinking with our hearts and not our heads. Then he and Raven whacked me upside the head and called me a dumbass." Gabriel's cheeks pinked up relaying the story. It was adorable! I was really thankful for the Toma team now. It was nice getting some validation from unbiased third parties.
Marc and Raven came down the tunnel then and cleared away our plates. I thanked them for helping make the date happen and they smiled warmly at me. Gabriel took my hand and led me out of the tunnel. I didn't realize we had been there for a few hours just talking.
"I should get you home." He hesitated a moment. "Sang, the other guys would like to see you. I know Luke spoke with you this afternoon, but the others were trying to give you the space you asked for this morning."
"I knew they would start pushing eventually. It's been days since they've spent any time with me. That's rare anymore." I sighed as we got back into Victor's car. "Okay. We'll hang out. But I'm not promising anything more." Gabriel gave me a peck on the cheek, thanked me and texted the others as we headed home. I wasn't sure I was ready for this, but I felt a lot more secure in with Nathan and Gabriel now and I meant what I said to Luke earlier, I wasn't going to give up on us.