I stared at the handkerchief Karlos gave me. For five days, pinilit ko ang sarili kong magburda. Kahit na ilang beses akong natusok ng karayom, kahit na iritang-irita na ako, I continued. A gift is much more precious when effort is put into it, right?
I traced my fingers on the embroidered part of the handkerchief. I smiled. Kahit papano ay naging hugis rosas ang binurda ko. I embroidered two roses, a large one and a small one, on the corner of the handkerchief. It's a minimalistic design yet elegant. It's not perfect, but it's still beautiful. Not bad for an amateur.
My smile grew wider when I noticed that the red colored thread complimented the smooth cream colored handkerchief. Corazon was right. The curves of the roses matched well with the laced part of thr hanky. It didn't look awkward like I thought it would be.
I feel proud of myself.
I was pulled back from my thoughts by a knock on the door. Mabilis kong tinago ang panyo sa drawer ng mesang nasa harap ko at napatingin sa babaeng nasa may pintuan. Nakangiti siya habang nakahawak sa handle ng pintuan.
Gregoria de Jesus, the wife of the Katipunan's Supreme leader.
Bumagay ang malumanay niyang mga ngiti sa bilugan niyang mukha. The expression on her eyes projected gentleness and calmness. Halata sa mukha nito ang katandaan ngunit hindi nito naapektuhan ang gandang kanyang taglay.
"Maaari ba akong pumasok?" she asked. I nodded, still staring at her. She was wearing a traditional baro't saya. A white blouse and a long skirt. Another cloth was over the long skirt that hugged her hips has beautiful patterns on it. Wala akong alam sa fashion standard noong Spanish period but she looked well-dressed.
She entered the room and made her way to the stool opposite to mine. The way she moves was greaceful. No effort was put into it.
"Bakit hindi ka pa naghahanda para sa misa de gallo mamaya?" tanong nito.
Crap. I totally forgot. It's christms and I've only got an hour to prepare. Tandang Sora wanted me to come to the mass with them because I was a part of the household and I was family.
But I was so busy finishing my gift for Antonio that I forgot about the mass.
"May ginawa pa po kasi ako."
Napangiti siya, "Ikaw ba'y nagbuburda?"
Natigilan ako sa tanong nito.
"Simula noong kami'y dumating rito ay madalang lang kung ika'y aking makausap. Palagi kitang nakikitang abala sa pagbuburda na para bang ika'y may mahalagang taong pagbibigyan nito."
I quickly shook my head as I felt my cheeks heat up. "W-wala ho! Promise, wala."
Yes, I lied pero 'di niya pwedeng malaman. Wala ng pwedeng makaalam. Tama na na si Corazon lang ang nakakaalam. 'Di ako sanay na may ibang taong nakakakita sa side kong 'to.
Her shoulders slumped, as if defeated, "Ganun ba?" Nawala ang ngiti sa mukha nito.
I nodded, looking away.
She gave me a meaningful look as her enthusiasm reappeared, "Ngunit kakaiba ang ngiting nakapaskil s iyong mukha habang tinititigan ang iyong nilikha."
I gulped. Am I that obvious? Am I that transparent that even a person I just met saw right through me? We've only talked for a few times.
O baka lahat ng tao sa nakaraan nakakabasa ng isipan?
"W-wala po talaga."
She lookedat me for a moment averting her gaze to other direction. She stood up and walked towards me, "Tayo'y magmadali at malapit nang mag-umpisa ang misa de gallo. Halika't ika'y aking tutulungang mag-ayos."
It was too late for me to refuse.
-
It took us almost an hour to prepare.
And here I am, staring at my reflection in the full-sized mirror.
Oriang let me borrow one of her clothes. It was a traditional baro't saya.
I was wearing a collarless chemise. Its hem is at the waist and the sleeves are shaped like bells that have cuffs. Oriang put astiff covering for the neck. She sid it was to cover the low-necked chemise. The transluscent chemise was paire with a long black and white striped skirt shaped like a bubble. On top of the skirt was a nee-length over-skirt that hugged my hips. It was made from muslin cloth embroidered with classy flower patterns.
Oriang tied my hair into an elegant low bun.
It was beautiful. Simple yet elegant.
"Napakaganda mo." she commented with a huge smile on her face.
I blushed. I'm used tohearing compliments but coming from the muse of the Katipunan, it was flattering.
"M-maraming salamat."
She nodded and looked at my reflection in the mirror, "Isa lamang itong damit ng isang hamak na mahirap ngunit nagmukha itoong magara sayo." muli siyang napangiti na para bang may magandang naalala. "Ito ang pinakaunang damit na binili ni Andres gamit ang salaping naipon niya mula sa pagiging bodeguero sa Flessell."
Agad akong napalingon sa kanya as feelings of guilt rose in my chest.
I cannot accept this. This was a precious gift from his beloved, how can I accept this?
"D-di ko po 'to matatanggap. Nakakahiya ho." I said. But she shooked her head and patted my shoulders.
"Ako'y mauuna na sa baba. Ika'y sumunod na lamang, hija." the she started walking.
I pursed my lips and gripped my skirt.
Why is she being nice to me? She helped me get drressed and even let me wore this precious dress when she barely even know me.
"Wag niyo po sanang mamasamain pero," I looked at her. She stopped walking at humarap sakin. "Bakit ang bait niyo sakin?"
She stared at me for a second before answering, "Hindi ko rin mawari ngunit," another smile reappeared on her face as she brought her hand to her chest. "Ang gaan-gaan ng aking loob sayo."
After saying that, she went out of the room.
The room went silent. The light coming from the setting sun passed through the windows illuminating the unlit room.
For some reason, what she said made me happy. The first time I saw her, magaan din ang loob ko sa kanya.
-
I breathed in and out trying to sink the fast beating of my heart. My hands are starting to get sweaty e hindi naman ako pasmado. I shook my head and lightly slapped both mym cheeks.
Ano ba, Kristin? What're being nervous for? Bababa ka lang naman.
Napatingin ako sa maliit na kahong gawa sa kahoy na pinaglalagyan ng regalo ko para kay Antonio. Kinuha ko ito at inilagay maliit na sling bag na ginawa ko. Being a student majoring in fashion designing sure has its perks.
I inhaled. C'mon, Kristin. You're confidently beautiful, there's nothing to be afraid of. No need to be nervous. Just walk down the stairs like an unnoticed queen.
Let's do this!
I went out of the room at tinungo ang hagdanan. I started walking down the stairs. Sa bawat hakbang ay mas lalong bumibilis ang tinok ng puso ko. Every step I get to take a wider view of the living area and the people gathered ther.
Corazon was the first one to notice me. Her jaw dropped as she tapped Santiago's shoulders. Santiago looked at me and he's got the same expression. Oriang and Andres was smiling at me while holding each other's hands. I smiled back.
All the people in the room, one by one, looked at me as I slowly went down the stairs. But their gazes didn't bother me. My attention was focused on a particular person. He was talking with Rafael.
He was well-dressed. He's not wearing his usual ragged clothes. He was wearing a white collarless, long-sleeved shirt. It has a round, open neck with three of its buttons down the chest opened. It hugged his torso a little. Antonio has muscles but it's not bulky. He's more of a "bishie" than a "muscle man". His hair wasn't fixed. It looked like he ran his fingers through it. It's not bad, he looked good. He was handsome to begin with but a cleaner appearance suits him better.
Ano kayang magiging reaksyon niya kapag nakita niya ako? Will he like it? The way I look right now?
Questions. Lots of questions entered my mind accompanied by the fast beating of heart as he slowly turned his head to look at my direction. I gripped the stair's handrail as our eyes met.
Ano kayang iniisip niya ngayon? Ano kayang nasa isip niya habang nakatingin sakin? Does he think I'm beautiful? What is he feeling right now? Mabilis din ba ang tibok ng puso niya na para bang tatalon na ito mula sa dibdib niya? Is he flustered just like me?
More questions entered my mind as I took the last step. Questions that I want answers badly.
Before I could smile at him, he quickly averted his gaze and continued his conversation with Rafael.
I stopped on my tracks still looking at him.
I felt my heart sunk. It hurts.
From my peripheral view, I saw Corazon and Santiago walked toward me. "Kristin, ang napakaganda mo! Nagmukha kang anak ng isang Ilustrados! Nakita mo ba ang mukha ng kuya Antonio habang nakatingin say-" Corazon stopped. "K-Kristin, a-ayos ka lang ba?"
Ibinaling ko ang tingin sa kanya, "H-ha?"
"Ayos ka lang?" nag-aalalang tanong nito.
I cleared my thoughts saka nakangiting tumango, "Tara na?"
"S-sige."
I gripped the sling of my bag.
He looked away.
Bago kami pumunta sa simbahan ay nagkaroon muna ng Panunuluyan. Two actors portrayed Holy Family, Mary and Joseph, as they roamed around town and knocking on four houses that were reminiscent of the Betlehem inns. The ritual ended towards midnight, at the church where the mass will begin.
The ritual was simply fascinating. It's as if the whole town participated the Panunuluyan. Along with the marching band are the townspeople following the Holy Family with candles in their hands.
The church was huge but it was different from the churches back in the future. Hindi masyadong elegante ang mga dekorasyon. In front are the various statues of saints, napapalibutan nito ang isang malaking krus. Instead of LED or flourescent lights, the place was illuminated by candles. It was beautiful.
I sat at the back with Corazon and Santiago at my right and Antonio at my left.
"Kristin, suoting mo nga pala ito," Corazon lent me a veil and a fan. Nakalimutan ko palang suotin ang belo kanina. Women during this period wear veils when going to church.
Tumango ako at tinanggap ang belo saka ito sinuot.
"Magandang gabi," Antonio greeted. Simula noong umalis kami ng bahay ay hindi kami nagkausap. Gusto ko man siyang kausapin kanina ay hindi ko magawa. I was hurt by his action that it felt awkward.
Pero para akong may alzheimers at agad kong nalimutan ang nangyari kanina nang kausapin niya ako.
"Magandang gabi," I greeted back with a smile on my face. Mabilis kong ibinaling sa harap ang tingin nang mapansin kong nakatingin pala siya sakin.
Damn, stupid heart. Sa lahat ba ng galaw ni Antonio titibok ka ng mabilis? Give me a break, goddamnit. I realy am a fool when it comes to stuff like this. This doesn't suit me at all.
"A-Antonio,"
"Hmm?"
"Mamaya, pagkatapos ng misa, may ibibigay ako sayo," I said without looking at him.
"Sige."
"At Antonio,"
"Hmm?"
"M-maligayang kaarawan."
Natahimik siya kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. He bowed his head trying to hide the gentle smile on his face. I felt my heart melt.
"Maraming salamat," he replied.
My stomach was once again filled with butterflies. God knows how happy I am right now. I could jump all night. I'll at the top of my lungs. I never felt this happy magmula nung nangyari kay kuya. Matagal ko ng nakalimutang maging masaya but Antonio made me remember this feeling in an instant.
-
The mass ended and some of the townspeople stayed in front of the church plaza while others went home.
I'm currently looking for Antonio. Nahiwalay siya samin nung papalabas kami ng simbahan.
"Baka naman siya'y umuwi na?" komento ni Santiago.
"Hindi iyon uuwi nang hindi tayo kasama. Lalo na't hindi nito kasama si Kristin." Wala man akong kinakain or iniinom pero halos mabilaukan ako sa sinabi ni Corazon. "Alam mo namang isang maalalahaning tao ang Kuya Antonio lalo na para sa mga taong mahahalaga sa kanya."
Hindi ko nalang pinansin ang mga sonabi ni Corazon at ipinagpatuloy ang paghahanap kay Antonio. Halos mapatalon ako sa tuwa nang makita ko si Rafael.
"Rafael!" I called. Sana naman alam nito kung nasan si Antonio e halos nakadikit na 'to sa kanya.
He must've heard me dahil mabilis itong tumakbo papunta sa amin.
"Ano po ang maipaglilingkod ko, binibining Kristin?" nakangiting tanong nito nang makalapit sa kinatatayuan ko.
"Nakita mo ba si Antonio? May ibibigay kasi ako sa kanya. "
"Ah, si Antonio ba? Nasa likod ng simbahan-"
"Ganun ba? Sige, salamat!" Hindi ko na siya pinatapos at mabilis na tinungo ang kinaroroonan ni Antonio.
"Teka, Kristin-!"
I gripped the small wooden box kung saan ko inilagay ang regalo ko para kay Antonio. I can't wait to give him my gift.
Nang malapit na ako sa likod ng simbahan ay agad akong napahinto nang may marinig akong boses ng babae. Dahan-dahan akong lumapit to get a better view. Eavesdropping runs in my blood.
Natigilan ako nang makita kong dalawang tao ang naroon. Pero Mas nagulat ako nang mapagtantong sina Antonio at Burandai ito.
"Maligayang Kaarawan," nakangiting bati ni Burandai habang ikinakabit ang isang kwintas sa leeg ni Antonio. Antonio just stood there, not moving. He was staring at Burandai.
My mouth gaped open. Words got stuck in my throat. My mind went blank, as if my brain short-circuited. I raised my hand to cover the fast beating of my heart as I took the scene in front of me.
"Mula ito sa Espanya. Halos dalawang buwan ang aking hinintay upang ibigay ito sayo." Burandai said after putting the necklace on Antonio's neck.
"Bernarda, hindi mo na dapat-"
"Antonio, iniibig kita."
Napahakbang ako paatras. Para akong nabato sa kinatatayuan ko nang mas lumapit si Burandai kay Antonio at inilapat ang kanyang mga labi sa labi nito.
-
Yes, I know. Bitin. 'Yung mga kamatis, hinog na. Pitasin niyo na at itapon sakin.
Yes, antagal kong hindi nag-update. 'Yung mga malalaking tipak ng bato, nahulog na mula sa kabundukan. Ibato niyo na lahat sakin.
Ako'y humihingi ng paumanhin dahil halos dalawang buwan akong hindi nag-update. Nabusy ako kakadrawing. Minalas 'yung laptop ko kung saan nakalagay ang drafts ko. Maraming rason kung ba't di ako naka-update pero di ko na ililista dahil sabi ko nga, marami. Kkkkk. XD
Pero magpasalamat tayo at naligaw si motivation at inspiration sa buhay ng iyong lingkod. Susubukan kong mag-update ng mas madalas. Kkkkk.
P.S. pasensya na sa typos, incorrect grammar, mispelled words, at kachakahan. Hart hart.
-JanelleRevaille, sabaw na pagong
(My unfinished drawing of Kristin in the media)
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Flessell (Flessell and Company) ay isang German Company noong Revolutionary period na pinagtrabahuan ni Ginoong Andres Bonifacio bago pa siya maging kasapi ng Katipunan.
For updates, go to my newly made twitter account, @jnllrevaille
For MHK comics and illustrations, go to my instagram account, @janellerevaille
Facebook? Nah. Bawal. Ahahahahahahahah. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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