毎日
"Toothbrush?"
"In."
"Toothpaste?"
"In."
"Mouthwash?"
"I will not use your rose-scented mouthwash, Shii-chan. It might smell nice after you use it, but it tastes like horse breath while you are using it. So no, no thank you." She retorted firmly, leaving no room for argument or negotiation.
"Rose-scented mouthwash?" Haru repeated, eye wide as he swung his baffled gaze from her to Shiori. "Where do you even get something like that?"
Shiori rolled her eyes exasperatedly at Haru idly lounging on the porch, head propped up on the single stair that levelled the porch while the rest of his body was draped on the paved path leading up to the house. He had joined them only twenty minutes earlier, claiming he wanted to spend a few last moments with Pai before she left. Although really, all he did was poke fun at Shiori, to the point that she'd thrown her shoe at him twice already. She'd missed, and Haru's teasing slowed, but only after Shiori threatened to snitch on him next time she saw him anywhere near the kitchen.
Unsurprisingly, the threat put the fear of the underworld into him. Whenever Obaasan actually caught him sneaking into the kitchen and he couldn't deny the charges, she dragged him off somewhere by the ear. After that, Haru tended not to resurface for a day or two. No one knew exactly what Obaasan did to him. He wasn't exactly forthcoming with any information about it.
She couldn't tell if it was embarrassment that held his tongue, or if he was genuinely afraid of what punishment she gave him for trying to steal food. All he'd ever say was that it was down to the 'dungeons' (more like cells that were hidden beneath Ayashi House, kept in case any unwelcome visitors dared to come uninvited to the house).
She had never been down there before. She wasn't sure Shiori had either, since she never talked about it and always seemed a bit confused whenever someone – namely Ryu – asked where Haru had been. But she couldn't imagine Obaasan would keep him locked up there, or that he would actually stay until she released him.
"Don't underestimate the things Kanou-san can get with those trader connections of his. Remember that jade water? He got it from a Chinese Ookami. A Chinese Ookami," she repeated, as if the two before her were deaf and the information needed reiterating.
Why does she find that so surprising? Ayakashi exist everywhere, under different names. In the West, fallen angels are Tengu...Greek gods are simple Kamigami parading around as more than they are...werewolves are just Ookami...witches and wizards are Onmyoji...
Maybe it's because we've grown up all our lives thinking Ayakashi are just Japanese? She offered in sweet sarcasm.
Maybe you've been taught the wrong things growing up? Kuniumi returned in a heartbeat. You wouldn't know if you had, would you? Not unless you were told, and even then, how could you trust what you're being told is the truth and not just another figment of a lie?
Her lips twitched in irritation at Kuniumi's win.
"And Pai-chan, how would you even know what that tastes like?" Shiori huffed as she struck the item from the paper she held in her hands listing every possible thing Pai could need for the 'trip'. "Okay, what about your ring?"
She held out her hand for a pinkie promise, showing off the silver-amber ring on her curled forefinger. "On."
Shiori smiled and hooked her own pinkie around Pai's before going back to the list. "Necklace?"
She didn't exactly know what the point of taking it with her was. Kanou said that it took the aura from Hengen around her and mixed it all up so that her own aura resembled that of Ayakashi. How would it work if there weren't a lot of Hengen around, wherever they were going?
She lifted the pendant out from beneath her white-and-blue checkered shirt, as reassured by the coolness of its surface as she was when she rolled her ring around on her finger. "On."
"Get yo bling on," Haru grinned, waggling his dark eyebrows at her over his glasses as he looked up at her upside down.
Instead of answering, she reached down and flicked his forehead. It was not too hard, but she was growing her nails out again. She did it hard enough that he yelped and turned his back to her, curling his body as if he was a child being reprimanded. "That hurt, Pai-chan!"
Utterly deadpan, she mocked, "'Get yo bling on'?"
Shiori laughed. "And in this instance I do not mind at all that you're using my move."
"I do!" Haru protested balefully. "I'll get a bruise now! How am I going to get a date if I have bruises all over my face?"
"What date, you don't know anyone to date," Shiori deadpanned. Haru rolled onto his back again with a hand to his chest in offence, a look of pity adorning his face. "Anyway, moving on because we don't have years to joke around," she added with a meaningful glare down at him. "What kind of clothes did you pack?"
Haru reached over and poked at the bulging bag lying against Pai's leg. "Looks like you packed a lot of stuff," he commented.
"I did," she gave the bag a forlorn look as she leaned forward and settled her elbows on her knees. "I did not know if I should pack summer clothes or warmer clothes. So I did both."
"Better have everything than nothing, huh?" he replied with a quick pirate's grin. He sat up abruptly then, and she watched him push himself to standing and brush off whatever dust might have clung to the back of his flashy red-and-black kimono patterned with colourful dragons that reminded her of the one tattooed on Shin's back. "I'm heading off. Kaede's just challenged me to a dare."
"What dare?" Shiori asked suspiciously.
"Who can finish teriyaki chicken Yuki-chan just made before she gets back from an errand with Kanou-san."
"Oi, come on, stop always eating the food Yukiji makes. That's mean." Shiori squinted up at him. "And how the hell did Kaede tell you that? He's not even here."
"He's in the kitchen." Haru grinned mischievously and tapped his left ear. "I've got much, much better hearing than you do, Shiori-hime."
"It," she reached down and yanked her slipper off her socked foot.
"Is," at the same time Haru began rapidly backing away, hands up in defence as if he was facing an angry police woman. His face was broken in a broad grin stretching from ear to ear, and it only served to infuriate Shiori more.
With one miraculously well-aimed shot, Shiori lobbed her slipper at Haru's half-turned back as he started running. "Only Shiori!"
The slipper thwacked! on his back with a satisfying sound before falling to the ground as Haru disappeared round the corner and inside the house with a belly-laugh that brought an instinctive smile to Pai's lips. She just barely caught Haru's harried, "Bye Pai-chan!" before he was gone.
She shook her head wryly at his antics. She didn't know what it was, but when Haru laughed it was difficult not to at least smile, even if you didn't know what was so amusing. It wasn't even that he laughed in a funny way or anything. It was simply that when he laughed, everyone else immediately, naturally, wanted to join in.
She wondered if that was the Hengen's inherent ability to enthral humans that so drew people to them. Daichi warned her that even when they weren't actively trying to lure a human to them, people still instinctively wanted to be close to them. Enthralment only multiplied on that feeling.
"That idiot," Shiori growled under her breath as she pushed herself up and stalked over to her thrown slipper. She paused, leaned around the wall and shouted, "Leave some for me too!"
Pai was grinning at her as she watched Shiori shove her foot into her slipper and stomp back over, sitting down in her original seat with an exaggerated huff.
She lifted a brow at Pai. "Would you like to add anything?"
"You have anger issues."
"Say that when you've told certain idiots not to call you 'princess' three million times already. It makes me sound like I'm a damn himedere. I am not. He's the one who acts like a pampered princess!" she shook her head, letting out an explosive breath as she fought to calm her riotous temper. "Anyway, didn't – actually, Kouta doesn't know. Kagetora-san didn't say what the weather will be like down there, did he?"
She shook her head, recalling Kouta's vague words on what Kagetora had said to him two days ago over the phone. That was quite possibly the first time she had ever seen a dark side to him, a shadow settle over his face, clouding his otherwise brightly handsome features. For the first time she'd seen another side to him, a side she'd always suspected he hid from the world by masquerading around as a fool when he was the exact opposite.
"Meh." Shiori leaned back and looked down at the list in her hands. "Notebooks for school?"
"No."
Shiori blinked owlishly at her, lowering the notepad. "I thought you liked studying? You're not going to be in school for three days, you know."
"I know that," she admitted, shifting so that she was crossing her legs. "But I still refuse."
"Don't you want to graduate?"
"I know I will graduate."
Shiori gave her suspicious, narrowed eyes. "Pretty confident in our intellectual skills, are we?"
"I am," she smiled innocently. "Are you?"
Shiori gasped dramatically and put a hand to her chest, groaning as if she'd just been stabbed with a meat cleaver. "Ouch. Nice one," she grinned before looking down at the list again. "Your pair of sneakers that's expiry date was five hundred years ago?"
She stuck out her foot and wriggled it to show that she had said sneakers on. She'd bought the faithful pair six months ago, a day after Shiori's fateful sixteenth birthday when her friend decided that they both needed to buy themselves private gifts after Shiori received a barrage of presents from everyone else at the house. Since then, Pai wore her favourite sneakers everywhere she could.
"Do you really think I am going to forget them?" she deadpanned.
Shiori grinned at her before ticking the item of her list. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe you finally came to your fashion-dulled senses and realized that it's embarrassing how you cling to those dying shoes." With a sly smile that curled her lips up provocatively at the corners, she dared, "Condoms?"
For one long moment, Pai wasn't sure she'd heard right. Or more like, she couldn't believe the word had so easily just fallen from Shiori's lips. Kuniumi snickered in amusement as she shoved the image of Shin's bare back, covered in tattoos, to the forefront of Pai's mind. Her eyes widened to saucers as her cheeks flamed.
"What did you just say?" she shrieked.
"Lol, sorry, jokes." Shiori laughed, not apologetic in the least as she lifted the back of her hand to press against her grinning mouth, unsuccessfully trying to stifle her laughter.
Indignant, Pai snatched up the closest thing – a pebble, considering the two were seated on the porch of Ayashi House, and the only other thing she could realistically throw was her travelling bag – and lobbed it at Shiori. Her aim was true and it whacked Shiori with a gratifying smack even as she tried to dodge the shot.
With a howl of mock-pain, Shiori pressed a hand to her head and pouted at her. Pai wasn't worried; she hadn't thrown it near hard enough to cause any real damage. Although she didn't think it would be so bad if it had been a hard throw.
"I said I was joking!" she whined.
"Lines, Shii-chan. There is such a thing as not crossing lines."
Some lines are meant to be crossed. Some are not. The trick lies in figuring out which are which. He betrayed us, and crossed the wrong one.
Are you ever going to tell me who 'he' is? She asked, her attention momentarily distracted from Shiori.
Kuniumi had mentioned the mysterious traitor so often already, but not in any way that so much as hinted at who 'he' was. In all likelihood, it was the strange one barely glimpsed through Shin, but she was still unsure about that. She didn't know if she'd been imagining things when she saw his eye darken to black. She didn't know if Kuniumi hadn't simply made her see that.
Kagetora knows. But does he know we're here, or does he think we're sleeping? Or does he know the things he does is what wakes us?
She started in surprise at Kuniumi's words. There, again, another mysterious connection to the Kitsune King, yet she still didn't know how it all tied together. She was about to ask Kuniumi what she meant, but cut herself off abruptly when she felt the now familiar tell-tale sign of Kuniumi's presence diminishing, fading out to who knew where.
"Meh," Shiori grumbled disgustedly, blissfully unaware of the second person Pai was paying attention to. "Lines are horrible. Do you know, one of the reasons Kouta refused to admit he had any feelings for me was because of that ridiculous pre-conceived notion of 'lines'? For months he kept insisting that we were only friends. Very politely, too. Annoying."
She smiled vaguely, noting the change in conversation for what it was. "Uh-huh. You have only told me this five million times."
"And I'll say it five million more times," she declared imperiously, folding her arms crossly over her chest. "Lines like age and shit are stupid and should be obliterated into oblivion. If you know what you want, go for it."
She raised an eyebrow, trying to ignore the whispering words her own common sense was telling her that Shiori wasn't talking about herself anymore. "Fancy vocabulary. Have you been reading actual books instead of manga and light novels?"
Shiori glared. "I swear to the spirits, Pai, I'll kill you."
At the mention of the word 'kill', her stomach curled so painfully tight, she thought she was about to vomit. Flashes of white walls white floor white door white bed white clothes stained in red smear the insides of her brain with their bloody images until she has to clench her hands into fists in her lap, the moons of her nails digging in so hard into her palm that the pain does its job and distracts her from the pictures in her mind. Her stomach roils nauseatingly for a moment and she wonders if she really is going to vomit.
She snapped herself out of the snippet of memory, narrowly avoiding being dragged into it. These days, it was getting harder and harder to go about her daily life without tripping headfirst into a memory and risk walking into a wall she didn't see because of it. The first time she realized it was happening was when she went up to the roof to talk to Shin after what had happened with the Torimaku and Shinigami.
She was glad that she hadn't been going to school the first week since opening after the break, for she didn't know what kind of trouble she could get in to if she was suddenly yanked into a memory and ended up walking into a student, or teacher.
She managed a wobbly smile. "Try it. Obaasan will skin you alive if you do."
She thought Shiori's eyes were fixed on her face a little too intently in the moments it took for her to reply. For a split second, Shiori turned serious and unsmiling, all signs of mirth and joking around disappearing from her countenance. She peered into Pai's eyes, searching. In that moment, she looked like a completely different person, older than her sixteen years, wiser and more knowing...and much harder to lie to.
For a split second, Pai thought she was looking at Kuniumi.
Then Shiori broke into a grin, and Pai could breathe again. "Ah, you finally admitted it."
"Admitted what?" she asked, going along with the conversation change, disquieted by the dawning realization that there were parts of Shiori – and Kouta, and Shin, and probably everyone around her – that she didn't know about, couldn't see, no matter how observant she thought herself to be. That troubled her not only because she prided herself in being able to read people, but because that was how she decided if she could trust someone.
"Obaasan loves you more than her own granddaughter." Shiori announced, pouting again even though her eyes were lit up with laughter.
She shrugged nonchalantly, trying to keep up her spirits even as she struggled to cast away the recurring images of the Tanuki bound in manacles to an electric chair. "I never flat-out said that."
Shiori narrowed her eyes as she closed the notepad in her hands, pushed the pen she wrote with through the spirals, and handed it back to Pai. "It's almost scary how sly you can be with your words."
"I am not Kitsune, you know."
She shrugged. "Maybe they're on a whole other level, but you're just, I don't know, one level below them."
Pai gave her a look. "I do not know whether that is a compliment or an insult."
Shiori grinned triumphantly. "See? I can be good with words, too."
Instead of replying, Pai crossed her legs and put her hands behind her, leaning back as she tipped her head up and looked at the sun rising quickly above the top of the boundary wall surrounding Ayashi House. Its soft yellow rays lit the leaves they hit, so that all the trees surrounding them made everything look like it was engulfed in a solid green fire. Birds twittered excitedly at the arrival of a new day, and if she concentrated, it wasn't too difficult to make out the bustle of awakening city life.
It was early in the morning on Saturday; a time that would normally find her still stubbornly asleep before the kids came screaming into her room, demanding her attention. When she could manage it, she tried to sleep in as long as she could. Especially when no nightmarish memories plagued her that night.
The kids were staying back in Kyoto for another week, and though Kouta said it was so they could familiarize themselves with their home, she couldn't help wondering if it was also a precaution in case Shin lost control. She didn't know if there was a timeline for how much longer Shin's Mask would work, but she figured they were all better off safe than sorry.
This would have been a perfect time to sleep. The dream with the enraged Tanuki bound to an electric chair, strangling her, had come to her two nights ago. She usually got at least a week or two's respite before another traipsed in to destroy any semblance of normalcy she tried to maintain in her mind.
But instead, here she was, outside with her maybe-there's-actually-too-much-in-there packed bag beside her on the porch, waiting to leave for a place she had no clue about for three days to accompany Shin while he was trained by Kagetora.
Last night, unexpectedly, the Daitengu threw together a surprise party for Shin. She didn't know if it was a farewell party or a good-luck party. Maybe a bit of both, and more. She only found out about it when Yukiji and Mizutani roped her in to helping them in the kitchen, washing the dishes and cooking delicious food, and preparing the house while the Daitengu kept Shin away from the house for the better part of the day.
When Shiori and Ryu came home from school with Haru and Shouta, they joined in to help – Yukiji keeping Haru away from the kitchen under Obaasan's orders, Shouta helping Daichi with some paperwork Kouta lumped on them. They brought multi-coloured balloons and party poppers with them on Mizutani's request on the way back to school, and Pai laid out the living room so that everyone could play random games Shiori and Ryu thought up off the top of their heads.
At a signal she hadn't seen being given, the other Daitengu eventually brought Shin back home at the end of the day. Everyone had worked so hard to keep the party a secret from him, and to his credit he kept up a very good façade of being surprised. But, she could tell that Shin had been expecting it.
Still, for as long as she was there, it was a good party. Laughter rang out through the whole night, saké flowed and buzzed those who drank it, games were played to entertain – even hide-and-seek, which proved to be a conundrum when everyone remembered that Shin had an unfair advantage over them; his Ability.
Ryu solved the problem easily enough. He declared Shin It.
Depsite the threadbare tension Pai wasn't sure he felt like she did, it was actually fun to play the game. The only vexing bit was how easily he caught her, wherever she hid, every time he was It. At one point he actually cheated and went invisible for one turn, so that she ended up hiding in one of the rooms she'd thought was empty but really wasn't, a fact that was brought to her attention when she heard a wry chuckle behind her as she peered around the door, and whirled around to see Shin blinking into sight right behind her. She was not at all sorry for thwacking him with her slipper from the fright. He was cheating.
Pai hadn't stayed with everyone through the whole night, getting nauseas halfway because she'd only just gotten over her flu, but she was glad that everyone was having fun.
She didn't know if she had fun. The jokes, the laughter, the games, it all made her smile at everyone else's happiness. The painful part of it all was that it only reminded her of how empty she was inside. She was there, present, with everyone else enjoying the party, but not all of her was there. A part of her remained with Kuniumi, separated from everyone by a gulf filled with grief.
It was like she was now part of the strange woman, and Kuniumi was part of her. No matter what she was doing there would always be a little slice of her left behind to be with Kuniumi.
Another part of her was stuck to the worry over Shin, wondering if he would make it through the training, troubled about what Kagetora had done and wanted to do, and why he said that she needed to be there while he taught Shin how to live without the Mask.
None of them knew why it was that Kagetora seemed to be tied into what had happened over the last few months. They didn't have any hard proof that he did in fact have something to do with it all. That was what consternated her, what drove her up the wall with frustration because she didn't know the answers to the questions that zipped around her mind in a frenzy.
That night she couldn't fall asleep easily, and not because of memories plaguing her waking nightmares. She still couldn't quite wrap her head around it. Too many things about it happened unexpectedly; Shin, against all odds, had actually agreed to Kagetora's offer.
She didn't know if what she said to him a few days ago in the infirmary was what decided him, or if it was just common sense that told him Kagetora was his only option for survival. Still, despite the intensity of his hatred for Kagetora, he agreed.
But that wasn't really what had her so confused and thrown every time she thought about it. It was that Kagetora had requested – demanded, more like, according to Kouta – that she come with Shin. That she would be a part of his training, calling her a 'dumbbell' or something like that. He claimed she was necessary to the training. She couldn't imagine how that could be possible in any reality.
Her, essential to Shin's training to survive past Shinigami, to live a normal life without his Mask? Her, an ordinary human? She wasn't even special like Shiori was. In the world of the Ayakashi, she was, quite literally, a nobody. Was Kagetora actually insane? There was nothing she could do to help, besides taking care of Shin while he was busy training. Perhaps that was what Kagetora meant.
Maybe she was just going to be there as more of a housekeeper than actually part of the training. She could cook, she could clean, and from random little lessons Kanou sometimes gave her, she could treat a common flu or sore throat, and minor wounds, disinfecting them and doing a pretty decent job of bandaging them. She even helped with stitching up a wound Kaede had gotten a few months ago, so she could (passably) do that.
Kuniumi didn't agree that that was why she was going, and refused to elaborate on why.
She was a human – she had no powers, she had no skills...none that she remembered. She still remained unsure about the things she saw in her dreams, memories where she fought with expert combat training skills, memories where she killed people without hesitation. Even if she had those skills now, they would be good for only one thing; killing.
If her dreams proved to be real memories, and that what she saw in them really was her past, there was no way she would return to being that Pai, that Pai who lived with so much remorse that she was driven to riling a Hengen up so that he could kill her because she couldn't do it herself. She didn't know what she would do if that Pai had once been her, who she was, but now? In the here, and now, the present that she was living in and not the past? She would do anything to never go back to what she had one been, ever again.
Shaking her head vehemently from her morose thoughts, she looked down and glanced at Shiori, who was watching a squirrel running along on the top of the wall twenty feet ahead of them. "Do you know where he is?"
"Shin?" Shiori asked. She nodded, and Shiori gestured vaguely back to the house with a wave of her head before returning to picking at a loose thread in her pale pink and white striped sweater and watching the squirrel's agitated twitching tail. "The other guys said bye to him already, and I think now he's getting a pep talk from Kouta."
She blinked in surprise. "He needs a pep talk? From Kouta?"
This time it was Shiori's turn to glare accusingly at Pai. "One; yeah, he kind of does considering he's basically handing his life over to Kagetora-san's hands, and he hates him so much. Two; what was that last one about?"
She lifted her hands in mock self-defence, amused by Shiori's instant – somewhat territorial, admittedly – defence of her boyfriend. "Nothing, nothing."
She winced when the slight beat of a cramp pulsed through her lower abdomen. The meagre breakfast she managed to force down felt unsettled, as if she could hurl at the slightest move in the wrong direction. It was either that, or the effects of the two cups of saké Haru smuggled for her last night were only now coming up. Did that mean she was a lightweight?
Shiori glanced at her when she saw Pai flinch, a worried look on her face. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she mumbled. "Cramps. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate periods?"
Shiori snickered. "What woman hasn't?"
"Point."
Her eyes widened. "For real? Did I just get a point?" at Pai's nod, she beamed, elation strewn over her face. "Have I passed Ryu?"
Pai shook her head ruefully, amused by Shiori's never-ending competitiveness with her brother. "Nope."
Shiori shoulders sagged in immense disappointed. "No fair. What about Kouta?"
"Not even close."
"What about me what?" a familiar voice asked from behind them.
The two girls whirled around in surprise, to see Kouta walking towards them, Shin lagging behind him with a simple black backpack on his shoulder. Kouta wore his customary green-and-black striped kimono while Shin was dressed in street-clothes; jeans a little torn around the knees, more from being worn out than any fashion statement, and the black V-neck sweater he liked. His gauntlets were at his hands, stretching from his knuckles up his forearms.
She recognized the attire from when he rescued her at the warehouse, seconds before she would have died from the Onihitokuchi. Practical combat boots were on his feet, and even though they looked a little heavy he was still completely silent as he walked out of the house. His katanas, sheathed in their dual scabbards, were strapped to his back as he usually kept them, visible and readily lethal at a moment's notice.
Her cheeks reddened when she unwillingly recalled the sight of the tattoos she knew to be just under that sweater. She looked away to the ground before anyone could see her blushing.
Shiori jumped up, instant elation gracing her entire being, to greet Kouta with a quick kiss on the cheek that was done before anyone could really see anything. Pai was slower to rise as she pressed a wary hand to her protesting abdomen and stood. She smiled nervously at Shin, who gave her a vague tip of the lips in response. She blinked in surprise at that – after how angry he'd been when she told him that she'd talked to Kagetora, even the faintest smile was more than she was expecting from him. She'd thought the laugh and small smiles from last night's games were just a fluke.
A little bubble of hope grew in her. Maybe he was incredibly angry, but he'd mellowed out now? Maybe he finally saw that she'd only broken her promise out of worry for him, out of a desire to help him in what way she could? She sobered when she glanced at Shiori and Kouta. Or maybe he was just being polite because there were others around, to question why he'd otherwise ignore her.
They didn't say anything to each other as the stood awkwardly together – or maybe the awkwardness was just on her part. She was so painfully aware of Shin these days. It was hard for her not to feel ill at ease around him almost all of the time now.
And after everything that had happened between them, and everything that hadn't, she couldn't not feel awkward around him. After everything he told her of her past, after the way they spent so much time together in Kyoto, just being around each other as maybe something a little more than friends but far less than anything other than that...
Then she went and ruined it all by asking him to use his Ability to show her the memory obscured from both their minds of what happened in the Torimaku. That, she decided, was when she broke whatever it was slowly budding between them. That was when it all soured, when she unwittingly peeked into a slice of his memories, and when she somehow awoke Shinigami enough that he burst out of Shin's control to laugh at her even as he threatened to kill her.
"And?" Kouta asked as he wrapped an easy arm around Shiori's waist, turning to her. She dragged her thoughts away from the depressing track they ran along with a wary shake of her head, turning to him. "What about me?"
"Nothing," Shiori said quickly, giving her a meaningful glower.
Pai feigned idiocy. "I gave her a point and she wants to know if she has passed you in the scores."
Kouta raised an expectant brow, also choosing to ignore the betrayed glare Shiori swung to aim at him. "Has she?"
She shook her head, glancing at Shin before speaking. She lifted a hand and dropped a finger for every person she named. "You are first, Shin-san is second, Daichi-san and Shouta-san are tied at third, Haru-san is fourth, and Ryu is fifth. The others are behind Shii-chan."
"What?" Shiori said, stunned, wincing at every name that came before hers. "I'm still last?"
"That is not last, Shii-chan."
"But you gave me points twice this week!"
"Since when does that translate to winning?" she shot back.
She heard an amused chuckle at her side. Startled, she glanced at Shin to see a proper, albeit small, smile on his face as he turned his gaze from Kouta and Shiori down to her. He held her eyes for a moment longer before she broke it, unable to keep it when she felt her cheeks burning again.
Kouta laughed as he leaned down and said something quietly to Shiori. As he did, Shin turned to her. He nodded down to the hand she still had held firmly over her abdomen. "Are you okay?"
"Hm?" she asked, confused about what he was asking about. Then she followed his line of sight to her hand and quickly dropped it to her side. "Yes, I am fine." She said as she started to lean down and pick up her bag in an effort to hide the beginnings of a blush she could feel burning in her.
Right as she was about to sling it over her shoulder, Shin reached over and took it from her, putting the bag over his other free shoulder. He didn't so much as grunt at the weight, considering how much she'd put in it. She had been so taken by surprise with the news that she was going with Shin to Kagetora that she packed things in a nervous frenzy. Anything that looked like it might be useful had gone in the bag. Unfortunately, that included, well...pretty much her entire closet. She hadn't even paused to consider if those things were actually needed.
To be fair, she didn't really have that many clothes.
"I can carry my own bag," she started automatically. "You do not need to – "
"This time you're the one lying about how you feel." He returned, giving her a look that stopped her in her lying tracks. "Cramps?"
She paused, lips twitching, embarrassment colouring her pink at how unabashedly he called her out on it. "Yes."
He tipped his head, gesturing, and they started to walk towards the gate. "There you go. I'll be carrying the bags."
She sighed in defeat as she glanced back and saw Kouta and Shiori still talking. Shiori had a serious look on her face as she listened intently to what Kouta was telling her. Whatever it was he was telling her, it was serious. She never looked like that otherwise – unless it was in Kurebayashi's History class, and then it was only because that was her lowest graded class.
She shook her head and looked back at Shin. "Fine. But I will carry my own bag when we get..." she frowned as she suddenly thought of something she hadn't before, finding herself incredibly foolish for thinking of it so late. "Shin-san, how are we getting there?"
"The island?"
She nodded.
"I'm driving us to the airport, and we fly by plane to Yokohama, then to Mikurajima. From there I'll fly us out to the island. It's inaccessible otherwise."
Then how did Kagetora get to it? She wondered if Kitsune could somehow fly, though she couldn't see how that was likely. They had tails, not wings.
She also noticed that since they'd last properly talked, in the infirmary, Shin was refusing to speak Kagetora's name. For some reason she found that strangely endearing, in the way a child refused to acknowledge that which they disliked. It was not completely unlike how she avoided saying Kuniumi's name – even in her mind – when she could.
"Which island?" she asked.
"You wouldn't know it. Doesn't have a proper name." He glanced down at her, saw the confusion in her eyes. "Kitsune own several islands. The one we're going to has been kept out of any official records."
Of course they own islands, she thought drily. Because why not. Just why not.
"But surely some people would know about it, right?" They had to. In this day and age, you couldn't exactly hide an entire island.
He nodded, gaze straying to look up at the large crows silently perched on the branches hanging in over the wall. The only reason they could be so close to the magic of the boundary was because they were essentially Karasatengu's 'minions', his spies. No one could approach Ayashi House without Karasatengu knowing, and it was the crows who told him everything they saw on the entire mountain the house stood on.
"It does have a name, given to it by those who know of the place. Ukabarenairei."
She halted just as the gates started to swing out, Karasatengu having seen them and set them to open so they could go out. Her eyes grew unfocused from watching the gates slowly swing open. In her mind, every scary ghost story she'd ever heard in relation to that name – the Restless Dead – floated up like a wraith kicked out of the Ghost World, come to haunt her. Her stomach tightened painfully and another ugly, painful cramp kicked her abdomen in retaliation as a cold bead of sweat dribbled down her spine.
Slim pianist fingers, callused from handling weapons on a daily basis, appeared in front of her eyes. They snapped, and she blinked, rousing herself away from memories of Midori and her father working together to terrify her so that she would behave and go to sleep when it was bedtime, lest they decide she was too naughty and send her to the dreaded island where ghosts didn't sleep because their bodies had been abandoned.
"Hey," Shin said softly, stepping in front of her and peering down in concern. "You okay?"
She blinked again at the snatching sight of red flicker in his eyes. As soon as she did it vanished, as if it was never there. This time she knew she wasn't imagining it. She knew that that was a sign of the weakening Mask, of Shinigami's increasing strength. She glanced back behind her to see Kouta and Shiori slowly following behind, still in deep conversation.
"I...I am fine." She shook her head, turning back to Shin. Behind him, she spied the black car parked a few feet from the gates. "Why are we going there? To that island?"
"He warned us that the training will be violent to the extent that there will be damage to the surroundings. Cities are out of the question. People live in towns and villages on most of the other smaller islands, and they could see and spread stories."
"That does not sound disheartening at all." She muttered under her breath.
Shin smirked at her comment. "Have you heard of the place?" he asked, moving so that he was at her side again.
She nodded hesitantly as she started walking again, wishing she had her bag on her back so that she could play with the straps. Instead, she reached up and started nervously biting her cuticles. She stopped almost immediately as she realized what she was doing, and cursed herself for not applying nail polish to deter herself from the bad habit.
She glanced down at her fingers and saw the edges of the skin around her thumb bitten through, the skin peeling and loose. She hurriedly stuffed her hand into her pocket and looked at Shin, hoping he hadn't seen it as she tried to remember what they were talking about.
"Yes. I did not think it was real, though. I thought it was just a scary story parents tell their children to get them to behave."
It certainly got me to behave, she added silently. Even now, years down the line, the name managed to inspire a sense of dread inside her, tightening her stomach to knots. She gulped nervously, tearing her mind away from the nightmarish visages it was conjuring up all on its own.
She glanced up at him when she saw him move. He took car keys out of his pocket and stretched out his hand, clicking the button. The side view mirrors and rear lights flashed orange as the car unlocked. He was frowning as he twirled the keyring around his finger. "What have you heard about it?"
"Just stories." She shrugged as they slowed down to a snail's pace once they approached the car.
"Tell me," he insisted. "I want to know."
A self-conscious blush made its way up her neck, and she reached up and pushed her hair, lying open at her back, over her shoulders so that her idiotic blushing wasn't quite so obvious. She couldn't meet Shin's eye as she went on while they waited for Kouta and Shiori to get to them.
"They say that the island was once a military camp for soldiers in the Second World War. One day, their position on the island was betrayed, given to the Americans, who came in and slaughtered everyone they found on the island, including the women and children living in a few villages near the encampment."
She looked up, only to see Shin watching her with such single-minded focus that she almost burst to flames. It was ridiculous to think so, but with the way he paid attention to her, it was like she was the only thing in the world.
"By the time the k – the killing was done, everyone was dead, but there was no one left to bury them. Because the island was isolated and far from others or the mainland, no one knew about what happened. No one was left to tell the story of how so many were killed. The dead were left where they were. Their bodies rotted and broke away, but people think their spirits remain in this world as Goryo. Anyone who sets foot on the island doesn't survive because the Goryo take out their wrath on them at how their bodies were so disrespected."
"Hm." He mused speculatively, looking out over the top of the car at the trees ahead. "So that's what humans think it is."
She glanced at him, not understanding the look on his face. "What do you mean?"
Again, Kouta's voice spoke from behind the two as he and Shiori walked up to them, having managed to catch the last strands of what Pai and Shin were talking about. "It wasn't Americans that killed those people on the island. Or at least, only some of them were American. That island was the site of an Ayakashi battle during the Territory Wars, between the Kitsune and Nue. Human soldiers got caught in the middle of it and died when faced with a supernatural battle they were not equipped or experienced to fight in. I wouldn't be surprise if a couple of Goryo really do haunt the place."
That's comforting, she thought dryly, irritated that Kagetora chose such an unsavoury site to train Shin.
"We think ghosts haunt everything," Shiori replied airily. She grinned at Kouta. "What better way to make things fun than making it scary?"
Pai froze, her breath halting in her chest.
She knew, she knew that Shiori wasn't her, and that she wouldn't ever use Shiori's body the way she did Pai's. She didn't like Shiori, she'd never use her like that. But those words, and the way Shiori said them – it all sounded exactly like Kuniumi. That was exactly the kind of thing Kuniumi would say.
For a moment, irrepressible fear clenched her heart tight as an impossible scenario stole its way into her mind; Kuniumi getting tired of Pai, of her unwillingness to remember the past Kuniumi was so intrinsically woven into. Kuniumi, getting tired of Pai and shifting her focus...to Shiori.
She tried to open her mouth and say something, but she couldn't force anything out. Shiori was staring at her. Wondering what was wrong with her. Kouta was watching her, confusion etched on his face, questioning why she was gaping like a fish out of water. Shin was looking down at her, a strange look in his eye, brows lowered in a small crinkle of concern.
She did the only thing she could think of. "Why are you looking at me like that? Did Shii-chan put leaves in my hair again?" she asked, reaching up and patting her hair down, searching for the crackle of tree leaves she knew she wouldn't find.
Kouta cracked a smile.
Shiori sighed exasperatedly. "When did I ever put leaves in your hair?!"
"Last P.E. class." She deadpanned.
Shin remained silent as Shiori laughed, the frown never leaving his face as he turned to Kouta. His eyes lingered on Pai for a beat longer than was necessary. She tried not to think too deeply about what that look meant.
"So," Kouta said, clapping his hands and rubbing them together like an expectant magician at a circus, awaiting the spectacular arrival of his performers. "This is it. How're you feeling?"
"Why do you sound like an interviewing news reporter." Shiori bluntly asked.
At the same time Shin said, quite distinctly and with some good-natured irritation, "I am going to punch you in the face if you smile creepily like that one more time, flightless bird."
Ignoring the sharp laughter from Shiori at the insult Kouta, incensed, spluttered, "I'm just being a good friend here, asking how you're feeling!"
"That is so not the way to go for it, you idiot." Shiori grinned. She took a step forward and reached out for Pai's hand, who gave it to her almost automatically. As soon as they were close enough, Shiori slung her arm over Pai's shoulder, holding her close. "Okay, this is how we're going to do it. I'm going to go on the other side of the car with Pai-chan and we're going to do a girl hug and all that. You two are going to stay here and do your bromance hug and all that. You're not allowed to steal my boyfriend though, Shin-kun." She added. He merely tipped his head in acquiescence, with a vague smile at that. "Deal?"
Shiori didn't even wait for a response. She clasped Pai's hand tight in hers and pulled her behind her as she made her way round the back of the car. As they went, Pai quickly glanced behind her and saw Kouta and Shin watching them walk away. Kouta had a smile on his face, Shin an inscrutable look in his eye – though he didn't seem annoyed.
They came to stand on the other side of the car, able to see Kouta's and Shin's heads just over the top of the car. For one long moment, Pai and Shiori simply stared at each other. She felt odd. It was like there was a hot poker rammed in her throat, preventing her from saying anything. She didn't know why she was feeling like this only now, even though everyone had found out she was going with Shin three days ago, same as her. She hadn't been expecting such a weight to settle in her chest, like an elephant was sitting on her with no intention of getting off anytime soon.
Shiori looked unusual as well – her eyes were too bright for normal. She was pressing her lips tight together, the corners wobbling in a tell-tale sign. She wondered if Shiori was going to cry. Pai didn't know what she was going to do if she did start crying – would she cry as well? Or was she too numb inside for that? Or were all her tears already spent crying over what the memory of Midori in Agent's uniform meant?
Shiori surprised her by reaching over and pulling her into an impossibly tight hug. She hesitated, caught by surprise by the move. She thought her bones were going to break from how tight Shiori held her, but she didn't care as she wrapped her arms around Shiori's waist and locked her wrists behind her, then changed her mind and gripped the back of Shiori's sweater as tight as she could, uncaring for wrinkling the fabric. She buried her face in the crook of Shiori's neck, inhaling the scent of cherry blossom shampoo her friend loved, trying not to let the sting in her eyes spill over into tears.
She wasn't going to cry. She had to show everyone that she was strong and perfectly capable of handling whatever was coming, that she wasn't scared of not knowing exactly what it was she was heading for. She had to show them that she was useful even if she didn't know what use she was supposed to be. She had to show Shin that she wasn't just a weak human who couldn't do anything on her own, who had to be saved by everyone else all the time, every single time something went wrong.
She had to show everyone that she was strong, even if she knew she wasn't.
"Be careful," Shiori murmured into her hair. "Please, Pai-chan, please be careful."
"I will, I will," she assured, her words a little muffled as she spoke into Shiori's sweater-clad shoulder. "I promise."
"Kagetora-san's dangerous. He's Kitsune, he's a King, and he's a freaking ninetails. That makes him three times more dangerous than any other Ayakashi we've come across."
"That's technically two," she mumbled thickly. "I am not an idiot, Shii-chan."
"I know you're not an idiot," Shiori chuckled, holding on even tighter, if that was possible. "But trouble finds you. A lot, a scary lot. So just try to run from it instead of to it, okay?"
"I thought you just said you know I am not an idiot," she scolded.
Shiori laughed again. After another long second, she finally stepped back, her hands falling to Pai's shoulders. Pai, in turn, kept her hands loosely settled on Shiori's waist. Normally she would have shied away from such physical contact, even from her closest friend, but she knew that that wasn't the type of person her best friend was. Shiori found comfort in touch, and with everything that was happening – and had happened – she was willing to allow this much, at least.
She knew that Shiori had fought against letting Pai go with Shin to Kagetora, had fought with Kouta about it. She had stumbled across them arguing in the courtyard yesterday after Shiori returned home from school. As soon as she realized it was her they were arguing about, fighting over whether or not she should go with Shin, she turned heel and walked away (ran away is more accurate), guilty that she was the one to cause such heated fighting in their relationship.
She was glad that they sorted themselves out and weren't fighting anymore, but still. It disturbed her that the fight happened at all. She didn't want Shiori fighting with Kouta because of her – it was the very last thing she wanted. Pai loved the relationship Shiori had with Kouta. She loved watching them, knowing that they were happy, and she didn't want to be the reason that was soiled.
She had gone to Shiori only hours later and told her that, in the end, the decision over whether or not she accompanied Shin was hers, and no one else. She knew the stakes of everything and everyone involved. She knew what would happen if she didn't go.
What she decided was final; she was going.
"I'm going to call you," Shiori added now, a deceptive afterthought. "Every day. You better keep your phone on you at all times, because I'm going to call you every day. At random times so that no one picks up a schedule and plans something shady around it."
"Is that really – "
"Yes, hell yes," she said unyieldingly. "And if you don't pick up, or at least text me why you didn't pick up two to three hours later, I'll make Kouta send an army over to get you and Shin-san back."
"If you do that I will never speak to you again." Pai riposted brusquely, even as her heart cracked a little, so totally overwhelmed by the love she felt from Shiori. "That will be embarrassing, especially because nothing will happen."
"Then you better pick up because as everyone loves reminding me, I have no boundaries I won't cross, and I'm the only one who helps you with Maths. How will I help you when you're not talking to me?" she retorted. Her words held no snapping bite in them as they usually did.
She rolled her eyes. "Shin-san teaches it at school. I can go to him for help."
She was just saying that, though. She didn't think she could muster up enough courage to actually go to him. Unless he called for her first. All bets were off if he reached out first.
A cloud of uncertainty passed over Shiori's eyes. This time it was she who looked hesitant to say something, wanting to speak but unable to find the right words. Pai frowned, about to ask what was wrong, why Shiori was making that odd face, when Kouta called to them.
"It's time," he said, watching them with wise eyes over the top of the car. "If you're any later, you'll miss the flight."
Maybe I want to? She wondered as she took a step back. Shiori didn't let her get very far before she reached over and slung her arm over Pai's neck.
"We're coming," Shiori called back to him. She glanced down at Pai, the old, mischievous smile back in place. "Child, where's your bag? Did you seriously forget it?"
She narrowed her eyes as they started walking back round the car. "Child, Shin-san has it."
Shiori rolled her eyes. "Of course he does. Perfect gentlemen."
"Shut up."
Shiori laughed, stepping away as she went to stand by Kouta's side while Shin opened the boot of the car to store his and Pai's bags. She walked over and held the boot up for him, allowing him to use both his hands to arrange their bags comfortably in the boot. He didn't put his katanas in. She wondered how he would get them past security once they reached the airport. Maybe make them go invisible the way he had when they explored Kyoto? But wouldn't the metal detectors go off when he passed through them? Or did they go invisible to the point that they were completely undetectable by even that?
Once he stepped back, she closed the boot firmly, murmuring a quiet 'thank you' to him. He nodded as he walked to the other side of the car, to the driver's seat, opening the door and getting in. Pai walked uncertainly to the front, wondering if she should ride shotgun as she had before, or if it was better to sit at the back.
Before had been when Shin bought her onigiri, when he made her laugh. Before had been before she spoiled the new roots that had begun to grow between them. Now she didn't know where to go. Where she belonged when it came to him, if she did at all.
Kouta saved her from making the decision by herself.
"If he starts falling asleep, pinch him for me, will ya?" he said, winking at her as he purposefully slipped into Obaasan's Kansai dialect.
"Will he?" she asked, trying to keep the grateful smile from her face as she looked at him seriously. She couldn't pinch him as Kouta had requested if she was sitting all the way at the back, could she?
Well, technically she could, but that was beside the point.
"Oh, yeah, definitely. He's an old man. Ancient."
"I heard that," Shin's muffled voice called from inside the car.
Kouta grinned, and she knew right then that he'd wanted Shin to hear him. "Go on," he said, winding an arm around Shiori's waist, who stood suspiciously quiet at his side. "You don't want to be late."
She nodded and started for the door handle. Then, after a brief moment of indecision, she darted back to Kouta and gave him a quick hug, tiptoeing so she could wrap her arms around his neck. He was so startled by her unexpected act that he didn't move for half a second, before he responded with a tight one-armed clasp.
"Thank you," she said, the only thing she could say after all he had done for her.
He chuckled lowly in response before releasing her. She hurriedly let go and threw her arms around Shiori's neck, even as Shiori hugged her tight with her arms around her waist. This time it was Pai who squeezed her close, trying, in some meagre way, to say goodbye to her friend in a way that didn't make it seem like it was the last time they'd ever see each other. Because it wasn't.
"Every day," she mock-threatened. "Every day."
"Every day." She agreed, her voice too thick for more.
She hurriedly let go and went to the car, getting in and shutting the door before she could change her mind. Her eyes burned but no tears fell. When she looked in the mirror they were not red-rimmed as they tended to get when she was close to crying. For that she was glad. She didn't want anyone to see her in such a sorry state.
"I'm sorry." Shin spoke, starting the car and spinning the wheel as he begun to drive.
She didn't look at him. She was scared to, scared that she really would start bawling like a baby if she did. She looked at the side-view mirror at Kouta standing behind Shiori with his arms wrapped around her from behind. Shiori had her head laid back on his shoulder, a move Pai could see as seeking comfort, and he in turn held her close to him.
A ball of wool stuck fast in her throat as she turned her eyes from the mirror, some strange feeling stirring restlessly in her stomach at seeing Shiori's complete trust in Kouta. She wondered if she would ever have something like that. She wondered if she was a fool for thinking she deserved someone like that.
"It was my choice," she finally spoke as the car started its descent. The road wasn't smooth but at least it wasn't steep, either. In a few seconds, Shiori and Kouta slipped from view in the mirror. Pai tipped her head back on the seat as she looked at Shin from the corner of her eye. "I made my choice."
"He made you. I made you." His voice was tightly reined in, concealing emotion the way he always so instinctively strove to. "You shouldn't have had to make it."
"But I did." She replied, firmly. "That is all that matters."
She could feel his eyes on her then, but she did not look at him. She wouldn't, because she wasn't going to cry. She wasn't.
I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry, there's no reason to.
"Maybe it shouldn't be." He muttered under his breath.
In the silence of the car with the windows rolled up and the AC turned low to keep them cool in the growing heat of the quickly approaching summer, she could hear every word. Her stomach turned to stone. She tried to control her breathing so it wouldn't turn ragged as her heart continued to beat mercilessly in her chest.
She sighed heavily as she wound her arms around her stomach, hugging herself, and tipped her head back on the seat, turning her face away to gaze out the window at the scenery passing by. Soon the view of the forest gave way to buildings, low-rising before climbing up to skyscrapers as they drove into the city.
"If you think I am going to abandon you when you need me, or when he needs me for you," she told him quietly, watching the faint outline of his reflection in the window, the way his head turned slightly to glance at her before he focused on the road again. "Then you do not know me."