I spend the rest of lunch in the library avoiding everyone. It seems like all I do nowadays is avoid people, but I just have to be alone to collect my thoughts.
I'm quiet in the rest of my classes as well but no one questions me on my sudden silence and I spend most of Wednesday in the same daze. Although there is an added large amount of anxiousness to my mood today because when Reece comes over for our workout I'm going to tell him that I don't want him to train me anymore. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to do it or what I'm going to say, but it has to happen today. I can't keep putting it off or else I'll just be torturing myself along with him.
I sit in the family room, my body tensed on the couch just staring at the wall while I wait for him to show up. I'm not sure how long I sit here, but it must be for a while if my cramped up legs have anything to say about it. A bead of sweat rolls down my neck, a sign of how nervous I am, and I swallow with much difficulty. I still don't know what I'm going to tell him exactly and I'm just going to have to wing it.
Luke strolls into the room and carefully sits down on the chair across from my position on the couch.
He stares at me intently, "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
I look at him and slowly shake my head before averting my gaze back to the wall.
"I know you, Quinn. I can tell when something is really bothering you. It must be a twin thing, but I know that whatever it is has to do with Reece. You know you can talk to me about anything right?"
"I know," I murmur quietly.
"Did he do something? Did he hurt you? Because I'll kick his ass if he did."
I shake my head quickly, "he didn't do anything, Luke."
"What's going on then?"
"Nothing, I'm fine," I sigh.
He tugs on his hair in frustration, "come see me when you get your shit together and decide to start telling the truth, Quinn. I thought you knew you could tell me anything, but I guess I was wrong."
Luke proceeds to storm upstairs leaving me stunned.
What just happened?
I take a deep breath through my nose and shut my eyes tightly when I feel them start to burn. Luke and I have never gotten into a fight like that before. I mean, we've gotten into small arguments and we bicker jokingly, but we never fought seriously like that. I hate that I made him upset with me. He's one of the most important people to me. He's my twin, my best friend, and now I've made him angry with me.
I don't blame him one bit though because if I were him I'd be angry at me too. I know I can talk to him about anything and he'll try to understand and help me but I can take care of it myself. I don't want to drag anyone into my problems and I don't want them to get hurt because I told them about Mr. Psycho Stalker.
The doorbell rings and in walks Reece. I told him he can just walk in and that he doesn't have to wait for me to answer the door. He's dressed in a pair of black sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt that would probably be removed later if we were actually going to workout tonight.
There is a frown on his face when he walks into the family room and I know it's probably because he's wondering why I haven't spoken to him in days. The frown deepens when he looks down at me on the couch still dressed in my jeans instead of workout clothes. I didn't think it was possible to have such a deep frown.
"Is everything okay, cupcake?"
I shake my head and decide to just get it over with quickly, "I don't want you to train me anymore."
He stares at me in shock, his mouth opening and closing a few times as he tries to figure out what to say. He finally chokes out, "why?"
I shrug coldly, "I don't need your help anymore."
I hate acting so cold towards him, but if I'm not it wouldn't work the way I want it to.
His eyes widen even more at my tone, "What are you talking about, Quinn?"
"I don't want your help. In fact, I don't even want to continue boxing at all anymore."
He looks so confused. "But you love boxing. Why would you give it up?"
I shrug. "Since you're not training me anymore, there really isn't a reason to be friends. I was only using you to get what I wanted."
His mouth drops open and a hurt look appears on his face. His eyebrows furrow and a thousand emotions pass through his eyes before he masks them all. I flinch internally, knowing I caused him to block out his emotions, but I keep on my cold façade.
Reece takes a deep breath, probably to calm down since I can see his hands curl into fists, and his jaw clenches. "I only offered to train you, that's all, but you somehow managed to weasel your way into my life. I never wanted your friendship."
I can't hide my flinch this time and something flashes in his eyes quickly but it's gone as soon as it appeared. He shakes his head and turns to stomp out of the house, but before he does he turns to look at me one last time. "How could I have been so stupid to trust you?"
He slams the door behind him as he leaves and I slap a hand over my mouth to muffle the gasping sob that threatens to escape. I run up to my room and throw myself onto my bed, burying my head in the pillow that soaks up my tears. It took all my strength not to cry in front of Reece. I couldn't let him see that what he said ripped my heart to shreds.
I suddenly hear glass shattering and spring up on my bed. It sounds like it was coming from outside. I look around, noticing the curtains are open, and I get up to get a closer look. As I peek through the window into Reece's room, I can see his back as he leaves. My eyes lower down to his floor and see something shattered. Did he throw something on the floor? Why would he do that?
I panic at the possibility that he saw me crying enough tears to fill an ocean and I scold myself. He can't see me sad since he's supposed to think I don't care about him at all. I sigh and trudge into the bathroom to clean up the mess I call my face.
When I'm certain it doesn't look like I've been crying too much, I make my way over to Luke's room and tentatively knock on the door. "Luke?"
No answer.
"I'm not very hungry so I'm going to go to sleep now, goodnight," I continue.
Again there's no answer. I sigh dejectedly and drag my feet into my room and flop onto my bed even though there is no chance of sleep for me tonight with all the thoughts running through my head. Five minutes after attempting to sleep my phone rings on the table beside my bed. I sigh and roll over to pick it up. "Hello?"
"Quinnie," a male voice sighs.
"Zach?" I ask quietly.
"Who else?" he chuckles.
"Luke's mad at me, Zach," I cry into the phone.
I can't help but break down as soon as I hear Zach's voice. He always had the ability to get me to show my emotions.
"He's not mad at you, sweetheart. He's actually the one that told me to call you."
"He did?" I sniffle disgustingly.
"He really did. He's not mad at you, he's just worried about you," he says gently.
"He's not mad at me? I didn't mean to worry him."
"I know. You just have to talk to him once in awhile and let him know how you're feeling even if it's just to say that you aren't ready to talk about it yet. He just needs to know you're okay."
"Okay," I sniffle, wiping my tears away.
"Do you want to talk about it with me?"
"Not yet, Zach, but I will soon."
"Okay, sweetheart. You sound tired, you should get some sleep, but call me whenever you want to talk, okay?"
"I will."
"I love you," he says.
"I love you too, Zachy-poo," I reply before I hear the click of him hanging up.
I turn off my phone and then try to fall asleep again unsuccessfully.
***
I continue to fidget throughout lunch, chemistry, and gym on Friday because I can't help but notice the pair of chocolate coloured eyes that keep staring at me. That's right. Reece keeps stealing glances at me, although I don't feel anything remotely to butterflies in my stomach seeing as he always has a scowl on his face.
I was so frustrated by the time I got home from school that I spend the night beating on the punching bag until my knuckles bleed. I'm still hitting the bag when Luke comes walking down the basement stairs.
"Quinn, stop!" he calls out when he sees the blood trickling down my hands.
I ignore him and continue, but he storms toward me, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me away from the bag.
"That's enough, Quinn," he says gently in my ear as I thrash in his arms trying to get to the bag.
I slowly nod my head after calming down and he leads me up the stairs to my room. I sit on my bed looking down at my bloody hands until he comes back in with my small first aid kit in hand. He kneels before me and starts to wipe the blood off my hands, "What are you doing, Quinn?"
"What do you mean?" I ask quietly.
"Why didn't you stop when your hands started to bleed?"
"I didn't realize they were bleeding."
He glances up at me, then back down at my hands, shaking his head, "listen, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I shouldn't have tried to force you to tell me anything. I'm just worried about you."
My eyes water, "I know, Luke. I'm sorry and I will tell you but I'm just not ready yet."
He nods, "you know I'll always be here for you, right?"
"Of course I know that."
He smiles and bandages my hands then pulls me into a hug. I return the hug, glad that he isn't upset with me anymore.
I go to sleep shortly after as the exercise really tired me out and before I know it it's Saturday night and I've made the decision to get off my ass and go down to the fights. I dress in all black hoping to blend in so no one will notice me, mainly Reece.
By the time I walk into the alley, the fights are in full swing and I stay in the shadows behind a few men, but close enough to be able to see the fight clearly.
My breath hitches as my gaze locks onto Reece. My eyes lower to the hard planes of his chest and my mouth goes dry.
"What are you doing here?"
I jump, startled and turn to look at who was speaking to me. I sigh, "I just want to watch the fights, Seb."
He nods, "you wouldn't happen to know why Reece is acting like more of an ass than usual, would you?"
I ignore his question and avert my gaze to see Reece scowling and throwing heavy punches at his opponent.
"Look, I don't know what's going on between you two, but you need to fix it. He's miserable right now. He's acting the same way he did when his mom died."
My head snaps to the side with wide eyes, "what did you just say?"
"When his mom died, he was miserable just like he is now," Seb repeats.
I glance back at Reece, barely taking notice that he's winning the fight, and think maybe he cared for me a little more than I thought he did.