After the first month, Zayn and GiGi went to the hospital for an emergency checkup after GiGi had randomly started spotting.
"Zayn, this isn't normal -"
"Are you in pain or anything?"
"No, no - it's just light cramps, but we need to go, now. I'm scared."
"Get in the car, babe."
He hadn't felt a fear like this since - well, he couldn't remember.
"What's happening?" GiGi anxiously asked the nurse who was busy with the ultrasound.
The nurse frowned and stayed silent, her eyes glued to the monitor. "Let me go and get the doctor for you -"
"She asked a question." Zayn said with an irritated frown of his own.
"Sir, let me go and get Doctor Brown -"
"Can you just fucking do your job and tell us?!"
"Zayn," GiGi tried to calm him and placed her hand over his. When he looked down all of his anger had dissapated upon seeing the silent tears flow down her face. His features softened and he sat down again beside her and held her hand back. The nurse took the moment of calm to rush out to go and get the doctor before Zayn could bite her head off again.
Zayn brought GiGi's hand to his lips and gently kissed her knuckles. "It's okay. Don't cry. It's going to be fine." He said trying to convince both himself and her.
As soon as Doctor Brown entered the room both Zayn and GiGi's heads snapped towards him. He had greeted them and immediately turned his attention to the monitor. The room was tense with the couple drowning in silence.
Doctor Brown released a deep sigh and finally turned to them. "I'm very sorry, folks."
GiGi's face immediately twisted with pain and sorrow as the news she didn't want was confirmed. Tears had welled up in Zayn's eyes too but he sat still. No emotion left in him for another ourburst. "Uhm, how -?" His voice cracked when he tried to finish his sentence, but just couldn't.
"Miscarriages in the first trimester are actually more common than we realise, it's just that many people don't talk about it. It's normally just a problem with the chromosomes which makes it difficult for the foetus to develop properly and it just unfortunately doesn't." Doctor Brown said sympathetically. "It's not your fault, Mrs Malik, and you will be able to try again in a few weeks."
"Zayn, I'm sorry." She forced out.
"GiGi, it's okay." Zayn's whispered back.
"I know that these things can be difficult, so again I'm very sorry. Do you have anymore questions?" Both Zayn and GiGi shook their heads 'no' at the doctor. "I'll give you guys some time then." Doctor Brown said with a curt nod before he left.
That night Zayn and GiGi fell asleep in each others arms with real, genuine emotion as they tried to comfort each other from the pain that they had felt. GiGi could not stop apologising and Zayn, who felt that this could have partially been his fault, couldn't stop apologising in his mind either.
***
Harry had just stepped out on his lunch break to head over to the nearest deli and get something to eat. Ever since that weekend when Gemma confided in him about her pregnancy, he'd been anxiously waiting for her to tell Louis and, ever since that fateful weekend, he had not heard from Louis or his sister at all.
As Harry was deciding on what he felt like getting, he turned ever so slightly and out of the corner of his eye saw a black figure run past the shop window.
He knew that sprint anywhere.
After he had abandoned his prior thoughts about lunch, he rushed out and ran after Louis.
"THE FUCK?!" Louis ripped out his earphones and was just about to take a swing at the person who grabbed his elbow when he saw that it was Harry. "Jesus! You scared me to death!" Louis said and rested his hands on his knees.
"Sorry, I'm sorry, ah - long time no see." Harry said, trying to catch his own breath.
"Yea, you too." Louis straightened and nodded and gave Harry a strange look.
Oh God.
"What the hell is up with you and your sister?"
"Ay?"
"You're acting weird. She's distant, not returning calls, or when she does, she's snapping at me... and you're ...? You're chasing me down a street. What's going on?" Louis asked with a confused face.
"Gemma'spregnant." Harry blurted. His green eyes wide and wild.
Oh God.
Louis' on the other hand was just as big, but filled with shock. "What.." His voice sounded as if he had just gotten the wind knocked out of him and not because of his run.
"Oh fuck. Fuck! Louis you can't say I told you because she's coming to tell you herself - I just... it's not the first time," Harry shook his head and rubbed his creased forehead.
"What?" Louis' eyebrows came together and he had never looked more lost in his life.
Harry grabbed his arm again and pulled him to sit down on a nearby bench. "Ah ..I've never mentioned it because it was a really messed up situation... See, she fell pregnant a few years back, and, she freaked and went to the clinic and got an abortion... without telling her boyfriend at the time...without telling mum or anyone.. just totally handling it by herself and, it was just ugly when he found out what she had done."
Louis felt like his heart was in someone's palm and they kept squeezing and squeezing and squeezing. "...Did he," Louis tongue felt like it was cramping up. He massaged his jaw and cheeks with his hand before he tried to speak again. "What did he do, what happened with them?"
Harry shook his head as the memories of what happened that day flashed through his mind. "...Uh, my mum, mum was home and she heard all this fucking noise going on downstairs, him and Gemma yelling and shit being thrown and falling.. so she called the cops. It just ended messily."
"I'm sorry." Louis said after a while of trying to find the right words to say. He felt his stomach twist and turn at the thought of anyone hurting Gemma so he could imagine how Harry must have felt right now.
Harry shook his head at Louis' apology. "Don't be sorry.. I'm sorry that I doubted that you wouldn't be good enough for my sister. Look, if things don't work out -"
"Harry,"
Harry held up a hand and squeezed his eyes shut. "If things - this, anything whatever -" He rambled now with his legs shaking slightly. "Please just don't hurt her, Louis. Just, sort it out quickly and move on."
Louis' mouth hung open slightly and he stared at his grey trainers. "Yea, I promise." He finally answered while picking at his thumbnail. "Well, where is she? Did she say when she would tell me?"
"I don't know," Harry took out his phone to message her. "All I told her was to tell you as soon as possible and that was about a week or so ago."
*
Gemma's foot tapped nervously against the cold, dull grey/green tiles of the clinic she was at. It's as if that foot wanted to just run away from this checkup.
She bit the skin off of the side of her thumb and then picked and pulled at it until it went too far and she started to see blood. "Ow! Fuck." She looked down to see what she had done and quickly shoved her thumb into her mouth to try and ease the pain. She was so consumed by her own thoughts that she hadn't realised the woman sitting next to her was watching her fidgety and anxious behaviour.
After shifting for about the fortieth time in the last fifteen minutes, the woman spoke to Gemma. "Are you alright?"
At first Gemma did not respond - or look at her because she didn't even know that she was being spoken to until she felt a pair of eyes on her. "Oh? Me. Uh, yea. I'm fine." She shrugged and stilled her shaky foot.
"Are you sure, because it looks like you're about to pass out?"
Gemma laughed and pulled on Louis' beanie that she had taken to wear. She wanted to pull it all the way down, over her entire body and just disappear.
God it smelt so good, just like him.
She ripped the black beanie off, sending her hair into a tizz because of the static that was created. "I'm pregnant." She said, not caring to fix her hair and looked nervously at the woman. Oh God. She was gorgeous. Just looking at her made Gemma feel even worse than she already did and caused her to sit up properly and smooth her hair down.
"I just- I can't keep it." The words spilled out of her as the woman was about to congratulate her.
"... What do you mean you can't keep it? ... Are you going to get rid of it?" She frowned and asked instead.
She was just about to explode on Gemma about how wrong and awful it was to do such a thing, but she didn't know the girl, she didn't know what circumstances she faced. She had no idea what her back story was concerning the pregnancy, her home life or the man that had done this and so, she realised that it wasn't her place to yell at her just because of the feelings she had concerning her own loss. So she took a breath and collected herself, rephrasing what she was going to say. "Uhm.. I know it's not my place. But I've just lost my child,"
Gemma's head turned towards her and she gave her a sympathetic look.
"I'm not trying to sway your mind -" a bit of a lie. "But, just really think this through...you could just be acting on your nerves."
"I'm so sorry." Gemma choked out just as the woman was instructed by the receptionist that it was her turn to see the doctor. She offered Gemma a small smile and got up to head towards the doctors room, and before disappearing into it, gave Gemma one last look.
Gemma leaned forward and thought about what this woman had said, her hands suddenly grew freezing and clamy. A buzz from her pocket pulled her out of her thoughts and she pulled out her phone to see Harry's name at the top of her notifications.
Harry: Gemma, where are you?