Posted on May 5th, 2017 | Edited on October 19th, 2018
| . . . C H A P T E R - 2.9.1 : S O M E T H I N G - S O - H A R M L E S S . . . |
An employee from the reception brought the food up to the cabin. I cleared my mind at once, taking in that delicious aroma. Then, I frowned noticing Arnav was still working. Leaning over the table in between us, I pushed the screen down - making sure to not completely shut it in case there was something important he was working on that hadn't been saved.
See, I wasn't completely inconsiderate.
He snapped for a second, "What'd you do that for?"
It was a fact he didn't like to be disturbed when working and also a fact that he could work for hours at a time without getting distracted.
I gave him a scolding look for his tone didn't scare me, "Would you be working had we actually gone out for lunch someplace?"
He seemed to realize my point and his expression softened. "Sorry," he said and putting the laptop away, cleared the middle of the table.
Grinning, I placed the brown paper bag there and pulled out the contents. I questioned the amount of food, "You eat all this? On a regular basis?"
He chuckled opening one of the plastic lids, "Ofcourse not. Sandy said there was a new combo so I went with it. All new food needed to be tried atleast once."
Well, I couldn't argue there. Nothing wrong in experimenting with food. There was Alfredo with pesto sauce, French fries, cold drinks, and... Wait. "I'm pretty sure French fries are not Italian."
"Pretty sure?" He teased as if it was something I should know. When I squinted my brows meant to scold, he laughed before explaining, "They aren't. I just feel any take out lunch is incomplete without them. So, Sandy always packs them in for me specially."
I have to shake my head at how he manages to get special treatment wherever he goes. "Royal treatment must feel so... royal."
He scolded lightly, "Hey, no comments on my French fries."
"Jeez, possessive much?"
He grinned from ear to ear, "Only for French fries."
This Arnav... he reminded me of college times. Not the CEO of AR Fashion House.
It felt carefree enough that I reached forward to try and steal one, only to have him swat my hand and foil my attempt.
The playfulness running in the atmosphere turned serious when his fingers touched mine. I swallowed the food in my mouth harshly, trying to not let it show on my face but I was internally grimacing and scolding myself for even attempting it without thinking it through.
He asked, noticing my smile disappear, "Hey... you okay?"
I placed my hand under my thigh as if my own warmth would fight his lingering touch off while I attempted to return to our carefree attitude. "I would be if you'd share your fries."
I thought I won. Key word: thought. "Well then, I am fine with you not being fine."
My jaw dropped. "Meany!"
I think this was the first time I tried to take advantage of how someone's touch made me feel. I can't believe I just did that but for the time being, I decided to let my mind rest. I decided to stay in the moment rather than overthinking everything.
He mocked, "Did you just call me meany?"
"So?"
He tried to fight back his laugh and biting his bottom lip to keep from it. "So? So, who even says meany?"
"I do." I ordered, "Now quit judging." I feigned offense when he laughed. "I can very well call you whatever I want. And you are a rude, meany, Lord Governor."
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
What were we? Kids? Yes. That is how we were arguing in the moment and no, I did not mind. It felt good.
"I am not!"
I answered in a singalong voice, "You are, you are, you are."
He looked ready to counter the pointless bickering but paused as reason caught up to him. Our eyes locked for a second, taking in a moment of silence, before our faces morphed a smile and we burst out laughing.
I leaned back on the chair, almost tripping over as the rocking chair tilted back a bit too much than I had intended for. "Whoa." My instant reaction was to grab the first thing to pull me back up and prevent the chair from tripping back, causing a nasty fall.
My fingers clutched the table as the chair stopped moving, I looked up to see Arnav out of his as well, too shocked to react.
Something so harmless could be so harmful.
Then, I felt my clothes sticky and my gaze traveled to it. "The hell to the no." I muttered. He continued to remain silent for he was smart enough to know, nothing he would say could calm me down. My remaining lunch had just fallen all over me.
See, this. This is the reason my appetite continued to be threatened.
"I blame you."
He defended at once, "Me? I did nothing!"
"If you'd just given me your fries, we wouldn't be arguing like kids, then laughing and now this." I waved a hand towards my shirt.
His eyes traveled to it for a second, eying the mess. Still, I felt the need to snap my fingers at him so he'd stop staring at my shirt as if he could see through it. His eyes blinked to meet mines and apologized, unsure if it would calm my anger. "Um... sorry?" He forwarded a box of tissue, "Here."
I glared at him. Seems in this case, he was the one to lack general knowledge. "Dude, tissues are not going to clean this mess!"
He replied sarcastically, "I would know because this just so happens to me every day."
I inhaled deeply to soothe my anger. I shouldn't be getting mad at him. It was my never-ending carelessness that needed to be blamed. In control of my emotions, I stood up and said politely. "Thanks for lunch... despite how it ended. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to clean this up." Then I started talking to myself, "I doubt I can though. I don't even have anything else to change into."
He pointed out, "Sweet pea, are you forgetting where you are standing? This is a fashion house. There are tons of outfits in catalogue. Wait, I'll go get something that will fit you." He started to walk around me.
I countered, "Oh no, no way am I going to wear those expensive clothes and be responsible for ruining them too. Thanks, but I'll figure something out."
He stepped back to block my path when I tried to leave, "Hey, stop. Do you think I care if you ruin something?"
He should! I wanted to argue but he didn't give me a chance.
"Now are you going to continue standing there in that or let me help you?"
I pointed a warning finger at him, "If you get something indecent..." He bobbed his head to the side to question if I really thought that little of him. I shut my mouth and just waved at him go.
Perhaps I should not have felt the need to say that.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
| . . . C H A P T E R - 2.9.2 : ... T W O - W A Y - S T R E E T . . . |
Payal hissed at me the next day when we were seated in yet another team meeting to get my attention. This time, Arnav was present as well. Usually, it was just us - the designers - to discuss the progress on the calendar.
When I blinked sideways at her, she pointed out. "You look like you barely slept."
I frowned placing my forehead on my fisted palm and elbow resting on the arm of the chair. "Ugh, don't ask."
She teased, "Fiancé kept you up whole night, huh?"
My head jerked to her direction while my elbow slipped from the arm of the chair, "What? Where did that even come from?" My eyes were wide open and sleep suddenly felt miles away.
She ignored my drastic reaction and focused on the meeting as Aman started acknowledging the team. I shook my head at her and picked up my pen thinking I could focus on what was being said. Alas, I felt a pair of eyes on me and blinked up.
Arnav was staring at me.
No, correction. Staring at the two of us.
Suddenly, I wanted to leave. The ground could open up and swallow me whole. I will not put up much of a fight.
I blinked away first, searching my mind for something to write on my note pad so I could pretend I was paying attention to the meeting. No inspiration. Thus, I started writing ABCs. Yes, very mature of me. Better that than look like a fool or be tempted to look up again to see if his eyes were still on me.
That's it, Khushi. Pretend he didn't hear Payal's words.
At the end of the meeting while we were leaving the conference room, Payal gushed. "Isn't it cool?"
"Huh?"
She snapped her fingers at me, "Wake up, Khushi! Were you not paying attention at all? Aman just announced how we'll be shooting for the calendar in Rome. Just imagine! Italy! Oh my, and the guys? Can October come already? I can't wait."
"Um... yeah. That's cool." I answered absent mindedly. "Who all are going?"
"I assume it'd be Aman, you me, Lavanya, and yeah, ASR. That's all the staff from here. Oh, plus the models."
"Hmm..."
She stopped me from walking seconds later, "Khushi, did you hear what I just asked?"
"What? No, sorry. Thinking about something. What did you say?"
She shook her head at me in disapproval for the way I kept zoning out. Sleep deprivation can do that to you - especially when you do not like coffee. "Did you get the papers signed by ASR?"
"What papers?"
She shook my shoulders, "The materials, Khushi! You were supposed to do that yesterday, remember?"
Oh, that. "I forgot... I meant to. Let me go do that right away."
She nodded and reaching my desk, I fished the papers in my drawer before finally finding them. How did they end up all the way at the bottom of the stack? No idea.
I need to pull my focus again and stop being so mindless.
I blamed the return of nightmares that keep me up at night. Once I wake up from them, I can't allow myself to sleep again - worrying I'll have them again and wake up screaming again. I did not want to worry Riddhima and Armaan.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
"Hey, I need you to sign these," I asked walking inside his cabin after a quick knock.
He held out his hand, eyes glued on the laptop screen where he seemed to be reading something. Standing on the other side of the table, I gave it to him. His eyes only glanced at the paper to find where he needed to sign and absent-mindedly signed it.
"Has no one taught you to read the papers before signing them?"
His head lifted while he returned the sheet, "And what are you going to do? Steal my business away from me?"
I rolled my eyes at his insinuation, "No, but its still a good practice to follow."
He leaned his elbows on the table and locking his eyes with mine, expressed. "It's good to know you care but rest assured. I don't give away my autograph without checking unless it's you, Aman, or Lavanya asking for it."
I tried to fight the flushed expression from reaching my cheeks. I want to counter that I don't care but the way he's staring at me... without blinking, it's hard to. "Uh... I'm gonna go."
Just as I turned about, he spoke. "Khushi?"
I turn to face him again. "Yeah?"
"Can you guys come over for dinner tonight? Di was asking and last night, your mother called."
Internally, I groaned. I was looking forward to going home and getting comfy in my bed, hoping that tonight I would sleep through the night without dreams or nightmares given how exhausted I was.
Externally, I put on a smile and nodded. "Ofcourse. Tell my annoying brother and traitor friend of mines yourself? We are not at speaking terms currently."
Why, you ask? Armaan put a bodyguard on my tail given yesterday's event: second attempt of Vivek to contact me. I was, ofcourse, pissed that my freedom was being restricted as such - especially given it was unnecessary. The only reason for me to leave the penthouse was to get to work and then I was indoors all day.
What was going to happen to me?
But Armaan was beyond reason - especially when Riddhima agreed with him.
Arnav chuckled, "Sure thing, kid."
I nodded and turned to leave before my mind registered what he called me. I turned to him again, fuming. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?"
He burst out snickering, "You sure are acting like a kid. May I ask why you're not talking to the two people you love the most?"
My face scrunched again at the memory, "Look outside your building and you'll know."
I turned to leave, for the nth time, and I was stopped, for the nth time. "Khushi?"
I sighed in exasperation. "What now?"
The expression on his face was serious and when the words followed, I understood why. He didn't look at me as he spoke. He had stood up from his chair and walked around the stand by the end of the room, looking down through the mirror.
"Truth: I did know you'd see it."
Initially, I was confused what he was talking about. Then, I recalled my question at the beach and the attempt to play truth and dare to get answers out of him. The course of that conversation had changed, and he had never given me an answer. Right now, he just did.
"Why?" I asked the question, meaning to know what made him tell me now.
"Call it my attempt to regain your trust." My eyes knit together in confusion of what that meant. He must have noticed for he elaborated, "Last few days... something's been going on with you and I just want you to know... if you wanted, I'm here."
How do I react? I have no idea.
His head turned sideways to look at me briefly, as if to check if I was still in the room. I was. I hadn't moved an inch from where I was standing. He looked away again, bringing his arms from behind him to across his chest. It wasn't meant to be defensive or an intimidating stance. Coupled with his words, they were meant as a way to somewhere protect himself from feeling vulnerable.
"I... I know I have never been the best at sharing anything with you. That's always been you... but now, with us trying to do things differently, be friends again... I just thought..." he trailed off not finishing that thought but I still grabbed the gist of it.
He thought he would make an effort too.
He exhaled and finally blinked over to look at me. Not directly in my eyes but it was close enough. "Whenever you ask a question, I'll try my best to answer instead of changing the topic."
Despite feeling uneasy, for the first time, he was trying to allow himself to be vulnerable with me... making this friendship a two-way street. In wanting to earn back my trust, he was giving his in return and that was more than I had asked for when I asked him for a clean slate. The general gist of Armaan's words came back to me... when he's earned it, don't hold back.
This time, I realize, things will be different.
"Why did you do it?"
He requested after a second of hesitation, "One question a day?"
My face softened and I nodded without any arguments. He had already taken the first step. Least I could do was make it as easy for him as possible. He could take as long as he needed to trust me with his secrets.
I, for one, knew how difficult it was to be completely vulnerable in front of another person. Shedding layers of one self and allowing another to get to the very heart of your soul is no easy task. It requires a whole new level of emotional intimacy and the journey of it? He's just starting it. While for me... I need just the opposite... be physically comfortable.
I don't understand. We have always been the opposites of each other and yet, somehow, we clicked like two puzzle pieces.
What I feared, he lived in. What he couldn't, I craved.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
| . . . A U T H O R - N O T E . . . |
It's starting! Arnav has taken the first step to lower the number of secrets between them. I hope you like this rewrite! I believe, if I remember correctly, a lot of the chapters ahead will be going in a slightly different direction now.
Happy weekend ahead! I will see you on Monday. <3