Lunch was unbearably and unbelievably uncomfortable. I sat between Jasmine and Raphael and had to painfully endure listening to Jasmine's discussion of how she wanted to be met outside her room by Raphael and led down the grand staircase like a princess. Overall, I could tell that Raphael wasn't really enjoying the whole situation either. He clearly found the topic of conversation as awkward as I did, despite the fact that Jasmine was oblivious to the whole tense atmosphere.
After Jasmine declared that she wanted Raphael to put his arm around her waist, I couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm just going to get my music book before the lesson," I suddenly cried, jumping up unexpectedly and causing Jasmine to look shocked and a bit put out for interrupting her. "I left it in our bedroom."
Raphael went to say something with regards to my abrupt movements and declaration. I shot him a warning look. Now was not the time to start having second thoughts.
"I'll catch you in class," I called out to Jasmine, as I headed out of the dining hall. Then, I ran as far away from the two of them as I possibly could, tears streaming down my face.
Oh God. I realised. This whole Halloween Ball, as much as it sounded ridiculous, was beyond awful, even though I knew I couldn't blame Jasmine or Raphael for my hurtling emotions. After all, if I had only accepted Raphael's offer to take me to the Halloween Ball earlier, then my emotions would have been completely different. However, my friendship with Jasmine had ruled all other thoughts at that particular moment in time. What's more, I couldn't turn back time, even if the small, selfish part of me wanted too.
Oh the joys of being a teenager!
Suddenly, I rounded the corner of a seemingly, empty corridor and barged headfirst into Lucifer. I shouted in alarm as I ended up flying down the hallway, looking like 'Supergirl'. His strong clasp saved me at the last second.
"Hey Alex," Lucifer said, concerned. I frantically scrubbed away my tears. "Are you OK?"
I nodded my head.
"I'll be alright," I answered, trying to smile but it was painful. I had hit my cheek on his iron ribs. "I shouldn't have been charging down the corridor like a raging ball. I hope I haven't hurt you?"
Lucifer shook his head and patted his stomach, subconsciously flexing his muscles to show how strong they were. All I needed to do was paint him green.
"No worries," he replied, smiling. "I'm fine." Nevertheless, deep down, he knew that I was not crying because I was hurt. "Has someone upset you?" Lucifer asked me gently, his features echoing his worry. "Because the look on your face and the tears in your eyes tells me that they have."
It was my turn to shake my head.
"No one's upset me Lucifer," I replied, hastily rubbing away the last of my tears. "Honest. My neck and cheek just hurt from where I bumped into you."
As soon as I had answered him, Lucifer studied me for a minute. From the expression on his features, I could see that he knew I wasn't being truthful with my explanation. After a long drawn out sigh, he decided to change the conversation into something he hoped would brighten the mood. Gradually, his face turned a deep crimson the more he spoke. Little did he know it was on the same topic that had just been causing me grief.
"Hey...em...Alex...em...do you have a date for the Halloween Ball?" he abruptly asked me, blushing shyly whilst we headed off to Music. "Because if you don't, I...I was wondering if you would like to go with me?"
This comment took me by complete surprise.
My mind went into overdrive.
Oh Lucifer, I thought, my heart softening. You really don't live up to your name at all, but you have such...bad...timing!
"I'd love to go with you," I heard myself retort, before I could even process what he had just asked me.
Bloody hell, I thought. Where had that come from?
When my brain had eventually processed my words, I realised that deep down, I had probably said the right thing.
Lucifer's delighted face said it all really.
"Great," he grinned, looking as if Christmas had just come early. "I'll pick you up about seven thirty if you want?"
I nodded.
"That sounds lovely," I retorted.
For a while, a silence fell between us. The Music room wasn't far away.
Soon, I couldn't take the silence any longer.
I blurted out something that had come to the forefront of my mind, in Lucifer's presence. It was a secret, rather surprisingly, I had desperately wanted to know more about.
"So...you worked for the RSPCA before you came here then?" I babbled, my face going redder the longer I spoke. "That's cool. What kind of things did you have to do?"
As soon as I had finished talking, Lucifer fixed me with a shocked and terrified stare.
"H...how do you know that?" he stammered, his eyes wild and cautious. "I...I haven't told anyone about that part of my life."
Crap! I thought.
I had hoped that Raphael had brought the topic up in discussion with him, seeing as they were dorm mates.
Clearly, I was wrong.
As the fiendish parts of my brain slowly begun to work, I extended the truth to a certain degree.
"When we were in our last Music lesson," I told him, trying to keep my face as innocent as possible. "I noticed the leaflet in your bag about the RSPCA as I walked past. Being nosy is kind of a bad habit of mine," I continued, "I'm sorry."
When I had finished speaking, I saw Lucifer's mind go into overdrive, as he digested my excuse. It was a long time before he spoke and, during this process, my realisations that Lucifer was actually, deep down, quite a sensitive, emotional person were heightened further.
With a small, still somewhat wary smile, he nodded.
"That's alright," he finally replied, although he wasn't meeting my gaze and his face was still a profound crimson. "I accept your apology." For another moment, he paused, trying to find the right words. Eventually, he resumed the present topic of conversation."In answer to your question about what I had to do," he continued, clearly finding each word a struggle. "It was simple really. I worked at a local animal centre, not long after my mother separated from my father, feeding, grooming, socialising and cleaning out the animals. It was such an enjoyable experience and it was my way of relaxing. However," he finalised, "I guess that now, in the future, I'll have to be a little more cautious about where I leave my possessions."
The instant he had finished speaking, I threw Lucifer a puzzled look.
"Why's that?" I asked him, mystified by his comment, especially as I had been listening to the way Lucifer had been talking in quiet reverence. I was honoured by the fact that he was willing to open up to me, considering his misgivings.
"What's so bad about people finding out that you used to work for the RSPCA?"
In answer to my question, Lucifer gestured to himself.
"Do I look like the kind of person who would work with animals?" He retorted, his face filled with a sad honesty. "Many people have their doubts about me, as soon as they see me and your previous facial reaction only succeeded in adding fuel to the fire."
When Lucifer had finished, my heart fell. I realised that I was one of those people who had judged Lucifer due to his size, in addition to his name, before I had even gotten to know him. Now, I realised, he was very different from the person I had perceived him to be. Therefore, I wasn't able to stop the guilt I felt – something that must have showed on my face.
Lucifer acknowledged my reaction to his words with a small, sad nod.
"Your initial reaction only strengthened the reasoning behind why I don't really let anyone in," he said quietly, his eyes expressing his hurt. "To be honest, I can't believe I had the guts to even ask you to go to the Ball with me. Normally, I find it extremely hard to talk to people, especially as they usually treat me with caution. For that reason," he concluded, "I've learnt over the years that it is best if people don't know me - best for others and for me."
It took me a while to process what Lucifer had said. It saddened me greatly to think that, because of his outward appearance, people like me, had viewed Lucifer to be someone he was not. I was also greatly touched by Lucifer's revelations, due to the fact that I had always tried to be someone who didn't conform to society and wanted to be my own individual, unique person. I shook my head, laying a hand supportively on Lucifer's burly shoulder, causing him to shiver.
"Honestly," I told him fiercely. "You're wrong. I think it would be far more beneficial to others and to you if people could know the truth and see the true you." I threw him a sincere smile. "I know it's been beneficial to me to begin to understand what you're really like underneath all that muscle for, deep down," I established, "I've so far come to realise that you're a kind-natured, funny and talented person."
The moment I had finished talking, I saw Lucifer's body stiffen. He looked as if all the muscles, bones and tendons in his body had frozen and it was evident that my words had shocked him. Gradually, the stiffness wore off and he soon gazed at me in profound interest and intrigue.
"You really believe that?" He finally asked me in a hushed whisper, his eyes shining with a newly found sense of understanding.
I nodded, smiling at him.
"Yes I do," I replied, still smiling at him kindly. "And I'm sure everyone else would too if you only allowed them to see more of who you really are, rather than pretending to be someone you're not."
I could tell from the look on Lucifer's face that my words had struck a chord deep within him. My words seemed to not only change the way he viewed himself, but also appeared to have changed the way he viewed me. It was then that I realised we were now standing outside the Music room.
Lucifer also realised our present location and, with a small, shy smile, he gestured for me to go first. As we entered the room, we were both filled with an inner, emotional awakening, especially as I realised that perhaps I could get through the Halloween Ball after all now. It would still be difficult, considering the whole "Raphael" scenario. However, at least going with Lucifer would make the situation more bearable.
***********
AN:
Well I think that might have been a turning point. Not only have we found out more about Lucifer, which I hope you enjoyed, but it seems as if Alex has found herself a date to the Halloween Ball and is happy about it. What do you think? Has she made the right choice? Do you think Lucifer should follow Alex's advice?