[an:/] biggest chapter of all the time. thanks for the people who talked to me on twitter and the one who sent me a message here, I hope it was worth the waiting. i love you all So... 50 VOTES and 25 COMMENTS? (i know it's a lot but please it'd mean the world!)
Songs from the chapter
Only Love by Ben Howard
Wait by M85
*
We quickly get downstairs and Harry doesn’t look at me all the way to the lounge too, which just confirms everything I saw. I walk forward without them to sit on the same place I was before calling them, and Mark and Anna are still there as well. I take a shot, gulping it at once. “Are you okay Louis?” Anna asks, sat on Mark’s lap.
“I’m fine.” I answer not even bothering to look at her. She says something else but it seems too far for me to hear.
Why am I even putting myself so down because of this? We just kissed, so what? Last year we were really close and even if I pushed him away he kept hitting on me and most of the people thought we were dating. And I was supposed to hate him, look where I am now.
I’m being so stupid, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding. Harry said he loved me, he said so many things, he proved his feelings so he wouldn’t hurt me like this after everything. Hurt. Am I hurt because of what I saw? Because I’m jealous? I don’t even know… I don’t even know what I feel for Harry and the only person who can get hurt here is Harry.
“Hey, Lou.” I hear Harry sitting next to me. I didn’t even notice that Anna and Mark walked away, by how entertained I was playing with the small empty glass. Why am I doing this to myself?
“Hey!” I can’t look at his face though. This just proves that I fucking have feelings for Harry and it’s hitting me like a truck. I don’t love him, I don’t feel half of what he feels for me, but I still feel something and it sucks. I also feel like I’m being selfish and maybe being a jerk towards Harry, I don’t want to hurt him but it feels like I’m playing with his feelings since he loves me… This is really fucked up.
“Sorry that I allowed Anna to take you away, but I’m gonna stay with you now.” He speaks like nothing have happened and it’s pissing me off. Not even an explanation he has to offer me? Okay then
“It’s fine.” It’s not. It wasn’t fine at all. I wanted him by my side and if he was, he wouldn’t be with her, that way.
“So are you enjoying the party?” fuck you I want to say. But I only say that to myself. If we start arguing, I’d make a scene just to humiliate myself. He’d probably laugh or not taking anything serious like always. When was me with Bryan he looked like the devil, I never saw him that way. He shouted, he said he didn’t want me with him and he even hurt me in a way, to be fair. I should do the same now but I can’t. I’m not like him and if I do that I’m just giving too much importance
“Are you?” I ask instead of answering him, still not looking at his face. “I bet you are” I say in a lower tone, which I don’t know if he’s able to hear due the loud music.
“I am.” He laughs. He’s fucking laughing. It’s probably funny for him, I see.
“Can you stop fucking laughing?” I look at him this time in annoyance. Did we really return to the old times?
He doesn’t stop laughing though and I need to take a deep breathe to calm myself down. He’ll always take me on my nerves no matter what. “You’re jealous”
“What the fuck?!” I shout, is he fucking serious?
“Oh Jesus Louis… Are you mad about what happened upstairs?” no I’m perfectly fine with the fact that you still might have feelings for your ex-girlfriend. He never talked to me about her, I thought he only had Bryan before. God such a mess.
“I’m not.” I lie. I can’t show that I’m weak, especially towards Harry. No fucking way, I’m going to show that I’m fine, that I can be without him and that I’m not jealous, because there’s no need to be, because we are not a thing.
“You are.” He chuckles “You are so mad and you’re jealous of her!” is this funny to him? ‘cuz he doesn’t stop laughing. I roll my eyes and take another shot. She’s so rich that even hired a bartender. “Don’t drink too much.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” I snap
“Do you want to get drunk again?” Hell no. I want to be sober tonight, but is the nerves that are making me to drink now. If I don’t drink I’ll punch Harry in the face. “Thought so.” He says when I give up on asking for another one.
“Is this amusing you?” I dare to ask
“Yes.” He simply answers with a smirk on his face. The Harry from the campus is back.
“Fucking jerk.” I buff
“Lou…” he punches me in the arm slightly and I count to three “C’mon ask me what is going on between me and Rachel.”
“I am in no position to ask you that. You do whatever you want to. You be with whoever you want to.” I lie. It’s all a lie, but I’m starting to be too attached to him and then it happens things like this one.
He laughs but ends up saying “It was a misunderstanding.” My ass it was. Okay calm down Louis “I don’t want you to think the wrong idea.” He sounds more serious this time. I look at him and this time with no frown nor a mad face “We were just having a chat,” of course “and she told me she missed me and told me that when I left to London she still had feelings for me.” I don’t really want to know this things to be honest. He doesn’t own me any explanation, I don’t know why I am acting this way. Fuck Louis you’re just so confused “But it was better this way because she managed to forget about us. I forgot as well, because of many reasons.” He smiles and I don’t get the reason why “We’re only friends Louis. We just missed each other so it kinda ended up like that.” Oh. He’s not lying. I know he’s not. They’re probably good friends for what Anna told me about them so… Ugh Louis you’re so stupid.
“Okay.” I answer and he makes the same expression that he did when I answered the same thing when he said he and Rachel were only friends. I think I’m just saying this to show that he doesn’t need to explain me anything, because we’re just friends.
“Louis…”
“Okay, I’m sorry.” I don’t even know the reason why I am apologizing “I got it.” he chuckles and I shake my head
“You’re cute when you’re jealous.” He teases
“Shut up. I wasn’t jealous.” I protest and when he tries to put his arm around my shoulders with the same smirk, to mock me even more, I pull him away “You’re so annoying” I make my best not to laugh by his laughter and face expression.
“Hi!” a voice interrupts us and when I follow it, Rachel is right in front of me. “You two seem really entertained!”
“Now we’re not because you just interrupted us” I say. But just in my head so no one can hear it. I really need to stop hating on people who are nice to me. “Hey!” I say instead in the most normal tone I could manage to do and Harry burst into laughter, making me want to slap him.
“Sorry, I was just thinking about the joke Louis told me.” He says and subtlety is not with Harry Styles.
“I love jokes can you tell it again.” Yes Harry, can I?
I give a glower at him and he laughs even more. God he’s such a dick. “Is gone!” I say suddenly “The joke is gone.”
“Oh.” She looks weirdly at me but then shrugs and smiles, dropping the subject. “Let’s have a night like the old times,” she turns to Harry now “Mark and Anna are on the pole table, waiting for you so we can play all together.” She says and I notice how beautiful the smile she’s giving Harry is. They probably made a good couple when they were younger but at the same time I can’t imagine Harry with her. Maybe it’s because of the amount number of girls I already saw him with in the past year, the fact that they meant nothing to him and he never had a girlfriend since I met him.
“Hum… I don’t know, Louis will be-“
“He can join us.” She interrupts him.
“Oh, I’m fine, I’m going to stay here.” I don’t really want to spend time with all the four together. It’d just be weird. They know each other for five years and I’d be the black swan in the middle. I know I wouldn’t fit there.
“I’ll stay with him.” Harry says right away but for much that it costs me I complain
“No go. You don’t see them for a long time, so it’s not right staying here with me instead.”
He looks at me almost asking for my permission, to make sure that it’s really all right, so I nod “Okay then.” he gives me a small smile, standing up from the chair
“When you feel like it, come to us. You don’t need to be here alone.” Rachel says and I try my best to nod and give her a smile, for much small that it can be.
They walk away and I think I just made the right thing. It wouldn’t be right trap Harry here with me, besides it’s not like I’m not going to spend time with him tonight.
~*~
Okay I’m barely spending time with Harry, he’s basically just with his friends and I’m still on the same sit that I first was, for an hour. My bum aches already. I don’t blame him. He misses them, they’re all good friends and for what I’m watching, they’re having fun. And I’m not gonna lie to myself, I’m jealous. Not only because of the friendship the four have but mostly because of the friendship he has with Rachel. Jesus she’s almost drooling over him, always attached to him, like if he was a flower and she was a bee. They’re always laughing together and smiling and whispering things at each other… it’s seriously pissing me off. But the fact that Harry gave to the work to check if I was okay twice, in this hour made me feel better. Well sort of.
But I’m having fun too. I’m trying at least. I met a guy and a girl that made me laugh and roll my eyes by how stupid they are. The guy talked to me about his interest in ants… it was freaking weird and it’s terrifying how he can sleep knowing that he has ants on a fucking glass-case next to him. And the girl basically talked to me about herself and she probably was trying to flirt with me.
“I’m gay” I said thinking that it’d make her going away. But no. The chick didn’t leave me, she even got more interested and asked me a bunch of things to the point of even asking me about how gay sex worked and then I thought it was a good time to say stop I’m going to the restroom.
On the way to the bathroom, I’m trapped by a couple who is making out just at the beginning of the stairs so my idea to take a piss is ruined and delayed when Mark appears behind me. “Hey Louis!” he says and I turn around “We’re planning to play a game, wanna join?” He asks and when I’m about to answer “Yes you want. You’ve been spending all this time alone” I haven’t. I met a boy who likes ants and a girl who wished that could be a dude so she could fuck another dude.
He takes me by my forearm to the middle of the room where at least, seven people are sat in a circle, counting with Anna, Mark, Rachel and Harry. – I find interesting the fact that the party is divided in several groups of people, even if everyone know each other. – There are also a lot of drinks on the floor along with cups, so I don’t expect good things coming from here. I sit between a guy and Mark “So what are we going to do?”
“I was thinking about playing fubar but most of the people don’t know how to play it and think it’s too hard to understand” Mark answers “So what about playing the usual I’ve never” He suggests
“That’s boring” Harry says and finally takes his eyes off from Rachel. Damn, I know he told me that they’re just friends and he forgot about them but I can’t stop feeling this.
“Do you have a better idea, Styles?” Mark asks in annoyance but at the same time in amusement. He might be a little drunk. Harry rolls his eyes and doesn’t say anything. Of course he doesn’t have a better idea.
Since everyone agrees Mark chooses to start. I hate playing these kind of games, even if I like to watch them, because it’s funny to see the people’s reaction, now I’m a player, so it’s not funny! I’m relieved that I chose to just drink two shots, because I don’t want to get drunk.
"Okay so, I’ve never…” he thinks a bit but then smirks “…taken a piss in front of cars at a red light” This people are crazy. But then I see him and Harry laughing and being the only ones taking a drink. “It was a funny day Styles.” He laughs looking at Harry. I don’t even wanna know what happened. “Wait let me say one more.” He interrupts Cassie, the girl next to Rachel, who was trying to say the next one “I’ve never…” he giggles. He’s not a little drunk, he’s pissed. But at least is making other people laugh. “…received a sexually explicit text messages from my boyfriend during school and was caught reading and had to read out loud in front of the class!”
“Oh bloody hell Mark, really?!” Anna says, making a grimace at him while takes a drink. Everyone starts laughing, including me.
In only five rounds I can find the way they interact with each other funny and somehow intimidate. They have their own private jokes, their own memories and embarrassed moments that once in a while they’d share with the rest of us, the way they even look at each other and laugh or simply smile is unique. I think Harry fits well in the group and I can’t stop this jealousy that are starting to be pathetic.
But even though everyone is in a good mood and I’m feeling much more comfortable around them, they’re so talkative, lively and we can have a good laugh with them – but half of the effect is due the alcohol.
“I’ve never searched for porn on the internet." Michael – I can finally name the guy next to me – says. Mark starts laughing and making weird noises.
“Michael, who never did that?” Mark asks taking his glass and drinking in a gulp. Of course I and the rest of the others do that as well.
“Harry,” Rachel starts laughing, she’s a bit drunk. In this six rounds, I only drank twice, which is good. Harry drank more than me but I notice that he’s still sober. I just hope Rachel doesn’t take advantage of him “remember? The first time I watched porn? Oh my god!” she doesn’t stop laughing and Harry just face palms himself. “It was with you!” what the hell
“Yeah, yeah I remember Rachel.” He rolls his eyes and the moment I feel him looking at me I quickly look away so our eyes can’t meet.
“Ouh, so what did you two do then?” Mark teases them. I feel something weird and I think it’s due the topic of conversation. What’s the thing of the two of them watching porn together? It’s weird as fuck but okay
“We did nothing, Mark!” Harry says straight away, I know he’s feeling uncomfortable and when Rachel tries to say something he interrupts her “I have never kissed one of my friends of the same sex on the mouth!” he speaks out loud, grabbing right away the glass and drinking it, making me looking at him widely. He probably didn’t think twice about it. It’s supposed to say things you’ve never done, to see if the others had, and he fucking says that. Genius.
I also drink a glass for the third time in this game and if Harry’s friends were looking at him with a strange and mysterious face, when they see me, it gets worst and they look at me and Harry at time. But thankfully, Anna and Rachel drink as well making them forgetting about us and then looking at them
“What?” Rachel asks
“Did you kiss my girlfriend?!” Mark asks with his mouth half open
“We were sixteen so she wasn’t your girlfriend by that time.” Rachel replies and when Mark is about to protest, Anna grabs him by his neck to give him a kiss. While that whole episode happens, Harry doesn’t stop looking at me… and let me tell you, the look he’s giving me should be illegal. Or maybe it is, is harassment, because it’s just so full of lust that even makes me twist. Fucking twist
"I have never fantasized about one of my friends." Harry speaks once again, interrupting the others and one more time he takes the drink. And fuck, while he does it, he looks at me and then licks his lips, slowly and then smirks. What the hell is he doing with me?
Cassie takes a drink as well and I think twice before doing the same. Of course I’ve fantasized about Harry… I could say Bryan, but no I’m saying Harry. But Bryan is an asshole and looking at the situation now, is much normal to say Harry. That bastard and his body and voice and fuck, I give with myself sometimes thinking about the Halloween’s party. It felt good, even if I can’t remember half of it, I know it felt good and I hate myself for that.
His friends are looking so strangely at Harry but I bet he’s not even noticing it because he doesn’t take his eyes from me. This time I can’t look away, it’s too hypnotize. He looks so god damn good. He always does, but it seems like today he looks even better and the fact that Rachel is right next to him, capable to smell him even and I don’t, pisses me off. I wanted to pass my fingers through his hair, it’s messy but pulled back and seems bigger than the usual and he has a few curls on the side, next to his ears. His shirt is already with the sleeves pulled up, to his elbows and his shirt is with its three first buttons undone, showing his tattoos and collarbones. Holy shit I almost forgot that I needed to piss.
“I’ve never-“ he starts again and I can’t hear him saying one more thing, I know it’s coming one similar from the last two.
So as fast as I can tell I interrupt him “I’m going to the bathroom!” I might have talked louder than I needed but it made him stop and getting the other’s attention “Be right back!” I finish, standing up from the floor and walking away, ignoring the weird looks.
Harry is just driving me crazy, all these jealous and teasing and why does he need to look so hot? Fuck, forget about him for a little Louis! And where the fuck is the bathroom? This house is so big that I’m already on the second floor and can’t find it.
Harry’s POV
I loved Louis’ reaction upon all of this. I don’t even know if he noticed the way his cheeks went pink, how he moved from his place trying to find friction on his jeans, how he looked at me, how he bit his lip… I fucking loved seeing him like that and it just turned me on in a way that I can’t stand it anymore. Since this morning that I’m fragile and only being next to him, feeling a simple touch, thinking about him, is making me insane. I bet he doesn’t even know the effect he has on me. So that’s why, after a couple of minutes and some weird questions later, I managed to stand up from the floor and walking upstairs, trying to find Louis.
I need him, I don’t even care if it’s just to kiss him, I fucking need him. It’s the New Year’s party and I probably just spent ten minutes alone with him and I don’t even know how I managed to do that. Sure I missed my friends and it was good to spend time with them, but I have Louis now… I know I sound selfish and a little bitchy but he’s so special and how he occupies my thoughts every minute, makes me concerned about all of this. Especially my feelings.
He’s not in any of the first’s floor bathroom so I walk upstairs. After looking at the bathroom in Rachel’s room and the one on the hall, I try the other one, next to one of the guest’s room and when I’m about to open the door, I hear the noise from the toilet so I decide to wait outside. I hope is Louis or this is going to be really weird.
My worries are answered when the door is opened “Harry?” Louis looks surprised at me and in a minute I’m smiling and at the other I am pushing him against the wall, kissing him widely. I know I’m a bit drunk and he is too, but I know what I’m doing and by the way he’s kissing me I know he knows as well. He’s not kissing me like he did when he was drunk that night, he’s kissing me like he has been doing lately.
I press our bodies together and I rest my hands on his hips. He allows my tongue to explore his mouth and he sinks his fingers on my hair not even caring if pulls a handful of them once in a while. I don’t care as well, to be honest, this is freaking hot. “Fuck Louis,” I breathe out between our kiss “I’ve been horny since this morning” I let escape the words, making him pulling away. Fuck, it’s not right to use the h word, because one thing takes to another.
He looks carefully at me, and for my surprise, it’s almost as if he’s taking notes of my face and then smirks. He smirks, almost teasing. Not almost, definitely teasing. “Oh yeah?” he puts his hand on the back of my neck and join our lips strongly, taking me by surprise. Louis is kissing me for the first time, holy shit.
At first he just moves his lips and then sucks my bottom lip. I open my mouth and at the same moment I feel his hot tongue, fighting with mine and exploring my mouth. He shoves his hands on my back pockets, squeezing my bum and fucking hell, I moan between our kiss and I know he just smiled. He’s teasing me and is making me even more and more crazy.
I press him harder on the wall and try to open the door next to it. I separate our lips for a moment, to take him by his wrist to the inside and then locking the door next to us. I press him against the wooded door this time and keep kissing him. I feel his hands passing through my back, under my shirt. He’s so into the kiss that makes me love him more every move our lips make together. I find that idea, of my feelings for him increasing every day, more credible and less idealist now.
When he starts to unbutton my shirt I put my hands over his and pull away from our kiss, but not from him. I lean over, close to his ear and whisper “D-Do you want it?” I know what I am talking about and I hope he does too. I just can’t wait any longer, the fact that I want to feel him around me, be that close to him, share the pleasure with him makes me feel hundreds of things at time. It’s too much to handle but I’m a bit scared of it because he’s Louis. He’s not someone or some chick he’s Louis. The boy I care the most, the boy I love and want to take care of. The boy I want to keep for myself and make happy. This is something big and I want to think about his feelings too. But the worst part of me, the deepest and darkest wants to care only about mines, the fact that I can’t wait to be with him this way and the fact that I’m afraid of never being that way, wants to take the advantage of the moment now.
Louis looks at me, he goes from my eyes to my lips. I feel his hot breathe, I know he just took a deep breathe but even that he leans over, licks my lips and gives me a quick kiss “Please…” he whispers. I like the way that he never says yes, he always says please. Even if a part of me thinks that he says it because he’s not sure about himself, the other part thinks that is just his way to express his feelings. Weird I know, but it’s like he’s begging, if it’s the inside of him speaking for himself, uncovering what he doesn’t want to show and wants to save. Besides it makes me want to fuck him just right here and now.
I press our lips together one more time while he finishes taking my shirt off and begins to take his, with my help and then I throw it away on the room. I’m so horny and crazy now that I grab him by his thighs and make him intertwine them around my waist, so he supports himself with his arms around my neck and his back on the door. He looks so good, with his bare chest exposed to me. He tilts his head to the side, allowing me to kiss his jaw and going down to his neck, sucking a little the skin, but enough to leave a mark. He’s mine now, I don’t care about anything else, he is mine, I marked him.
I make sure to kiss his collarbones, just a little above his tattoo, the one I always loved. When I re-join our lips again I manage to carry him to the large bed in the middle of the room. We sure had the luck to be in the best room, the window is huge so is enough to illuminate the place due the lights from outside. We lay down on the mattress so I’m now on top of him, supporting my own weight with my hands pressed on the mattress next to his head. I always wished to look at him during the night like this. Me on top of his shirtless body, the lights hitting his skin, his blue eyes on me, his locks of hair spread down on the bed… he’s so beautiful.
“You’re using it!” he says touching with his fingers on the necklace he gave to me, moving above his lips
“Of course.” And I’ll never take it off.
He smiles to me and pulls me down, by the necklace, towards his lips. Our lips just brush but after some seconds I move mines, kissing him. At first is slowly, just to enjoy the moment and convince myself about everything, about what is about to happen, then it turns wilder. We pass our hands through each other bodies, caressing, tickling or just feeling it. I kiss, lick, suck every part of bare skin that I can reach from his body and in minutes we’re only in underwear.
“Harry, do you think is right to make this here?” he asks, interrupting our kiss. I chuckle looking at him.
“Believe me, we’re not going to be the only ones doing this in this house tonight.” I tell him and then give him a soft smile. He seems to be more assured now and I lean over to enjoy the touch of his lips with mines for a little bit more time not even caring about how swollen they are. We’re going to do this and I can’t believe it, I never thought this would ever happen.
Louis… The way he used to treat me, he could barely look at me in the eyes, touch me, even listening to me talking is now agreeing to be this close to me. It’s unreal but welcome… If this is a dream please don’t wake me up because if I can’t be with him in real life, I want to be with him in this parallel universe. But I don’t think I am dreaming. This is real and I’m so happy for it. Louis is right here with me.
My boner is starting to be painful under my underwear and I desperately try to find friction. Louis moves his hands down my back and squeezes my bum under my boxers. It makes me moan one more time because when I move, our erections touch and I finally get the friction I was searching for. Even brushing myself on him, pleasures me and when Louis breaks our kiss to moan and recover his breath I know it’s pleasuring him too. “You ha-have a condom, don’t y-you?” his voice is hopeless and weak, but it’s so hot to hear and it’s good to know that I’m having this effect on him.
“Shit no.” I say now stopping and making him whimper from the lack of movement. “I don’t even have lube.” Fuck I can’t believe this. But it’s not that I brought a box of condoms to the trip, I never expected doing this of course.
“Well…” he starts but he’s as breathless as me “it’s good to know that you didn’t plan to have sex with me.”
“Is it?” I raise my eyebrow and he nods. Well at least he doesn’t think I’m a pervert and-Wait, my mind just made a click “I’ll be right back!” I tell him and kiss his cheek before getting up from the bed.
He holds himself in his elbows and looks confused at me while I dress back my shirt but don’t even bother to button it. “Where are you-“
“Don’t worry, get into the sheets that I’m back in a minute” I say unlocking the door and shutting it when start running out on the hallway. I hear noises coming from downstairs and I pray that no one is in any of the rooms here or decides to walk upstairs.
I open the door and enter in a too familiar room. Rachel’s room. I’ve been here so many times that I know every part of this place. I also have lots of memories, but it doesn’t pass by that. Memories. They belong to the past and now I’m living and loving the present.
I open the wardrobe and find the big purple box I was looking for, under some clothes. I can’t believe she stills saves this things in here. Gifts that I’ve given to her, her book where she writes the things that she thinks or happen to her, old photos from all of us, concert tickets and… bingo.
I save everything and run as fast as I can to the room where Louis is waiting for. I open the door and return to lock it. He’s laid down under the sheets and after walking towards him I smile. “Where have you-“
I interrupt him, answering “Picking this” I say showing the condom I’ve taken from her room.
“Where did you get that?” He asks shocked and I take my shirt off and walk next to him, under the sheets
“Rachel’s room!” I could omit it and going back to where we stopped but the face he gives me was the one I wanted to see. I chuckle “Did I tell you how cute you look when you’re jealous?”
“Yeah…” he mumbles and I go back on top of him, take his face in both my hands and kiss his lips
“Thought about reminding you!” I say then and lean closer to his ear “Now… where did we stop?” I tease, licking his earlobe, making him shivering “Oh I know…” I go with my hand down till I feel his boner and don’t contain myself from rubbing it on top of his boxers, making him moan.
“Please…” he begs and that’s enough for me to take his boxers, along with mines so we’re now both naked under the sheets. I feel so close to him already, so warm, so alive and so in love. I notice how he gets shy and tries his best not to look at me, so he’s now looking at the lights from the window outside.
“Hey,” I make him looking at me again “it’s okay” I smile warmly, caressing his cheek and when he smiles back at me I peck his lips “you’re beautiful” I whisper
While I kiss his skin I start stroking slowly his length on my hands. He closes his eyes from pleasure and I know he’s trying to hold his moans, even if I want the otherwise. I want to make him moan loudly, I want him to show me how much he wants me, showing me that he’s enjoying himself.
I give two fast strokes and when I stop “Don’t s-stop…” Louis’ voice is low and he’s still with his eyes shut tightly.
“Shh, let me do this!” I reply, close to his face and in one move I put myself between his parted legs, with the sheets just covering us a bit. “Suck it.” I put my index in front of his lips. He looks for a moment at it but then does what I said. He does it in such a sexy way, making me feel his warm tongue on my skin. When he finishes I put one finger inside of him, pulling in and out slowly. He lets out small hums and little gasps, but I know it’s not enough so I put one more, making it faster. His legs are shaking so he stretches them down on the mattress and now his gasps turn to be louder and all of this is making me more and more horny and the fact that I don’t want to touch myself, to make this right for him, makes it much harder for me. When I put one more finger, to open him for myself, he lets out a loud moan, covering his mouth right away and even in this situation he can be cute. I’d laugh if I wasn’t trying to control myself.
I can feel his prostate with my fingers already and when I start massaging it, I notice how he’s enjoying it and how hard he’s biting his lip “S-Stop…” he says and I stop right away, almost in concern. So when I’m about to ask what’s wrong “J-Just fuck me already” he whines and holy shit he couldn’t ask it in a worst – better – way.
When I take my fingers out of him, making him whimpering by how empty he must feel, I grab the condom that was placed next to us, unwrap it and slide down along my length and give two strokes. Louis never take his eyes off of me, he follows every movement I make with his eyes. When I look at him, his cheeks are flushed, he’s sweating and shaking. Is he nervous? My question is answered when I get closer to him and when our lips touch, it doesn’t feel right because he doesn’t kiss me back like how it’s supposed to be. “S-Sorry…” he whispers when I pull back.
“Oh baby… I’m just as nervous as you, y’know?” I say and mean it even if I don’t show it like he is. This is important for me – maybe more for me than for him even– and I want to make it right for me and for Louis.
“Stop lying.” He looks away and I place my hand over his cheek, making him look back at me. It’s a natural thing currently.
“It’s not a lie.” I smile and he seems to believe it now. He knows I never lie to him… he knows it.
I lift him by his bum from the mattress and put ourselves in a comfortable position. I start to put only my head inside him, always looking at him in the eyes to make sure he’s okay. I know he is and I know he is gonna be okay, but I can’t stop myself. Then I put all my length inside of him, slowly and studying how is face changes, how his eyes shut tightly and how his mouth stays half opened. “H-Harry…” he gasps
“Yes babe?” I ask not daring to move myself.
“M-Move…” he’s literally begging, he even opens his eyes and grabs me by my shoulders, to lift himself to be on the same level as me. “But-“ I try to speak but he interrupts me, joining our lips almost harshly “Move, now… Fuck me hard please.” He gasps with our lips brushed. I look at him widely but, fuck, I’m crazy about him and he’s just teasing too much.
I make him rest his back on the headboard – this bed is full of pillows so I think we’re okay – and I support myself on it when start moving in and out. I’m feeling him, every little bit, I’m feeling. I move faster and faster and if I’m hurting him, he decides not to tell me, he keeps gasping, whimpering and breathing out small ahs and hums. I sink my fingers on the headboard and he starches my back.
I keep moving faster and faster and he pulls me closer to his face to kiss me, bite me and suck my skin. I’m marked by him too now and I accept the fact that I belong to him from now on. I start moaning, because this is literally all I wanted to.
I want him, I need him, I have to be inside of him. Harder. Faster. I need to hear him screaming, he needs to feel me tremble. I just don’t wanna stop. I want to fuck him. Now. For hours. Over and over. Backwards, upside down… I don’t care I just need it.
I keep moving faster and faster and I just want to hear him moaning loudly and making him calling my name. I want him to tell me how he feels, what he’s thinking about, what he wants me to do. I never imagined that this would feel this good. I just don’t want it to stop, I want this to last.
I keep moving faster and faster and then I ask him “How’s it feels?” and he opens his eyes and answers me breathless “It feels so good that It’s getting weird.” I don’t even want to know the meaning behind his words because while I keep moving inside of him, hitting his prostate already, he moves his hand to touch himself, but I stop him because I want to do that. I want to be the only one making him feel good. I want to be the only one from now on touching him, feeling him this close, being with him like this. I want to make this a routine, something already familiar with. I want to know his body better, all his turns on, his sweet spot, everything.
I keep moving faster and faster and then he says “I-I’m gonna cum…” and I can’t last much longer either. “Cum for me then.” It’s almost impossible to speak “F-Fuck, cum Lou and shout my name.” by now we’re already laid down on the bed but I hold him on my arms, and keep feeling him. He has been touching my back with his fingertips, pulled my hair, squeezed my bum but now he’s holding himself with his arms around my neck. When he closes his eyes and his mouth opens moaning loud “Harry” he’s cuming and just by looking at him in this state makes me cum as well but I thrust one, two maybe even three more times before falling down on top of him, not caring about the cum that is covering his belly because we’re both covered in sweat and all sticky and perhaps even dizzy from the moment so we have to close our eyes till recovering our breath.
This was amazing, rough sex is the manifestation of romance. You trust someone so much that you let them do whatever they want with one thing that is yours. I’m now on my little world just listening to Louis’ gasps, caressing his hair and feeling his body still pressed against mine. I couldn’t ask for more just “Next time we fuck, I don’t wanna fuck, I wanna make love” I tell him, slowly because I still can’t talk normally. But he gets it, he nods and hums in response and that’s enough for me, because I’m so tired and lazy to move now that I want to stay here like this with him for a little more. Not caring about anything. If anyone is looking for us because they gave for our lack, I don’t care about the hours, the voices… anything. It’s just Louis and I.
*
[an:/] THIS IS WHAT YOU ALL WERE WAITING FOR!!! omg i hope i didn't disappoint anyone. Did I? i feel like this is the worst smut i've ever wrote idk i wanted this to be different but ugh. And i need to ask you and THIS IS KINDA IMPORTANT ! do you have any preferences in who tops? I used to be only Louis!top but now i like when they share bc Louis has that perfect body for bottom but then Harry has that cute personality so Louis is like the man. I'm half half hahah
Anyway, so now you know the reason why im asking for so many votes and comments on this one! Oh and New Year is not over yet, i'll finish on the next chapter! bye bye.xx