I was sat in the corner of Zak's walk in as he was slumped on the opposite side with his head in his hands. He hadn't said a single word. The silence was deafening, but if I knew anything about Zak, it was that he needed time to think. Once he had, he would have questions and then it was down to me to answer them.
My eyes moved away from him to the vast collection of hats and shoes. I almost smiled seeing the shoes were colour coordinated, his black shirts were also set aside from his colour ones. But from further inspection from the floor, I realised that the black clothing was his lockdown clothing.
I wondered if the walk in was sound proofed from the outside, because I couldn't hear a single noise.
My eyes snapped to Zak as he spoke for the first time.
"Devin knew about her, but seemed so surprised when Holly told him. Why?" He asked looking at his watch.
I shifted off my knees to fold my legs. "I had some complications in my pregnancy.. I guess Devin presumed I lost her."
"What kind of complications?" He asked.
"Za-"
"I asked what kind!" He snapped closing his eyes to avoid looking at me.
"Bleeding. I bled in my first trimester. I thought I was having a miscarriage." I answered.
"And he knew but never said a damn thing." He muttered.
"I swore Devin to secrecy, he doesn't know about you."
Zak scoffed shaking his head "Well that's a kick in the balls as well. Damn it Scar."
"I'm sorry-"
"No, no you're not, because if you were. You wouldn't have taken my daughter away for the past 5 years! What the fuck Scarlett? I just had an exorcism done on her!"
"I thought yo- I thought you sent that message Zak. I came here and Holly sent me away and you fired me. What else did I have? I had to go home!"
He looked at me bewildered "I never fired you! You never showed up! You stopped all contact, deleted everything I completely cut me off!"
I looked away from his eyes seeing the hurt in them. "I was told-"
"By Holly. Yeah I fucking get that. But how? We used condoms."
I shrugged "Every time?"
"Yes. Fuck you made sure of it. Had my balls in a vice when I tried to go bareback!" He snapped.
"It was suppose to stop this from happening." I answered quietly.
"Well it didn't fucking work did it? How the fuck am I gonna explain this to my mom? I've missed out 5 years. She doesn't even know me!" He argued.
"Please stop blaming me, I was only doing what I thought was best." I whispered.
"You should have tried again! And again! And again! You should have looked me in the fucking eyes and told me! A text?! A text I never fucking received!"
"But she did. I'm not blaming her Zak, but she's meddled and you're sat here shouting at me."
His face went dark as he fell quiet again.
"5 years..." He shook his head. "You know, when you first took off, I thought you were dead. Actually went to the station ready to log a missing persons report. That was until my mom saw you driving out of town."
"I'm sorry."
"You keep saying that but I can't believe it. I can't. All this time? You've been in my house, sleeping in my bed with my daughter. And the whole time I've had Avari under my nose! I- You're a cold hearted fucking bitch." He commented.
My face crinkled with emotions, pulling on the neckline of my top, I hid my face as I cried quietly.
"You should have said the moment you came to me. You've had opportunities, don't make out you haven't. The hospital. I- Did you think I was mentally retarded or something? Every time Holly mentioned it you didn't give the slightest hint that it was me? Are you that good at lying?" He asked.
I lifted my face up looking at him. "You have no idea what I have had to deal with." I snarled.
"No because you took off!"
"Because that's what I thought you wanted!"
"WELL IT WASN'T WAS IT!"
"I DIDN'T KNOW THAT! I THOUGHT YOU WANTED HER GONE! I COULDN'T DO THAT! SO I TOOK HER AWAY!" I yelled back at him just as angrily.
He covered his mouth as his face flooded with emotion, a rare look from Zak. "You left and took a piece of me away."
"I had to think of her. I was scared Zak, I had nobody else."
"I'm not talking about her.. Not just Avari, when you left things went to shit. I lost someone I held close to me. I blame you for half of my problems. My trust problems."
I scoffed "Not that bitch sitting in the kitchen drinking your wine and spending your cash. No you blame the mother of your child."
"You were my backbone Lettie! Don't you get it? Sure I was screwing around because I didn't want to act on what I was feeling! I was a fucking idiot and yeah, I made wrong choices, I was flighty and women were looking at me. But none of them looked at me like you did.. That's what I realised after you left. To them I was a meal ticket. But you.. You looked at me so differently."
I looked away from him.
"Y-you said to Avari, I was like a storm on a perfect day.. I heard you and do you know what? I was jealous. Because even then you spoke about that person as if you were still madly in love with them. That they were the only one that mattered. That person was me. But if I was that important to you, how could you leave me like that?"
I wiped my tears trying to keep my vision clear, "I did what I had to do for my baby. You sit there and act all hard done by, but you never came looking for me? You have more money that anyone I know, you could have found me with one phone call to a private investigation firm. But you didn't because you were too busy balls deep in women! Don't act like you're the one whose been ill treated. Those 5 years have been a walk in the park for you. And don't make out you've changed. Your nightstand tells a different story." I bit back.
"You've been in my things as well?"
"I needed a pen. Don't worry, that was the only draw I went in, before I found Dracula.. I can't even watch that film without remembering the nights we spent on your couch. Y-you've ruined so much for me. I don't know whether to thank you or hate you for it."
"Back at you." He muttered.
"I didn't come back to Vegas to dangle Avari in front of you, like I said the day I came to you. That you were my last resort because I didn't want this to pan out. I thought you didn't want her, so I got on with my life, carried and gave birth to her. But when she began to see things.."
"I know..." He answered twisting his ring.
"You still have it.." I noted.
"Of course I do." He answered quietly looking at the small ring I had given him all those years ago. "It's all I had left. Or more of that's all I thought I had left."
"I don't want a thing from you. I've done this much alone. Now I just wanna carry on as if this never happened, you have your life. We have ours an-"
"What? No. No I want to be part of her life Scarlett."
"You don't Zak. You said you don't want kids and Avari isn't a part time hobby. She's a child Zak, a little human who needs to be cared and nurtured. Not picked up and dropped."
"That won't happen."
"No, because I won't let it."
"You can't stop me from seeing my own daughter!" He snapped.
"She isn't yours. She's mine. She is my-"
"You didn't make her alone! You're not the Virgin Mary. This wasn't an immaculate conception."
I nodded "We should go. I- I'll be in contact I guess-"
"Go, Avari is staying and you can fight me. She is my daughter too and I'm staking my claim in her life right now. I can't let you take her from me now.."
"You're acting like she's gonna be the only one Zak. I've told you, I don't want anything from you. Now or ever. Besides you will have a tribe of kids somewhere out there and Avari will just be a number." I replied bitterly.
"There won't be any."
"Oh yeah cause you use condoms all the time." I scoffed in replied.
He shook his head "No.. but I did stay faithful with Holly. There won't be any more children. Because three months after you left, I had a vasectomy. Avari is and will be my only child. She's my legacy, Lettie."