The Coño Boy 1 & 2: Love What...

By TheLostConyo

399K 11.2K 2.5K

My name is Sean Ordoveza San Dejas. I was steeling myself for a typical uneventful start of the semester when... More

BOOK ONE: FOREWORD
Chapter One: I Hate P.E.
Chapter Two: Breakfast sa Caf
Chapter Three: T@ng In A Mess, Wrong Car!
Chapter Four: How to Choose the Perfect Swim Trunks
Chapter Five: Boys of the Same Feather
Chapter Six: The Merienda
Chapter Seven: Mirror, Mirror, Side-Mirror
Chapter Nine: Siomai Rice and the Morning After Talk
Chapter Ten: Don't Make Singit Between 2 Pizza Slices
Chapter Eleven: The Guy at F-Hall Driveway
Chapter Twelve: Comfort Food
Chapter Thirteen: Sweet Dreams are Made of These
Chapter Fourteen: Friday
Special Chapter 14B: Lazy Friday
Chapter Fifteen: The White Villa with Blue Window Shutters
Special Chapter 15B: Satisfaction by Shakespeare
Chapter Sixteen: Guardian Angels
Chapter Seventeen: Saturday at Tali Beach
Chapter Eighteen: A Bonfire by the Beach
Chapter Nineteen: Here or There
Special Chapter 19B: Turn Left
Chapter Twenty: To the Right of Me
Chapter Twenty-One: Between the Cold Moon and the Earth
Chapter Twenty-Two: How to End the Weekend
Chapter Twenty-Three: Auntie Knows Best
Chapter Twenty Four: Adjustments for the Not-So-Well-Adjusted
Chapter Twenty Five: Billy Shakespeare Wrote A Whole Bunch of Sonnets
Special Chapter 25B: Loop, Scrub, Press Play
Chapter Twenty-Six: Brown Paper Bag
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Gravy Naman!
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Chosen, Choose, Choice
Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Play's the Thing.
Chapter Thirty: This Deserves a Montage!
Chapter Thirty-One: 23 Days
Special Chapter Thirty-Two: University Secret Files
Chapter Thirty Three: Friday the 13th
Chapter Thirty-Four: The Remains of Friday
Special Chapter 34B: Two Guys, Two Cups, and a Pack of Cookies
Chapter Thirty-Five: Waking Up To A Dream
Chapter Thirty-Six: What You Will or How You Will
Chapter Thirty-Seven: All the World's a Stage
Special Chapter 37B: First Valentines Day
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Take a Bow
BOOK TWO
Chapter Thirty-Nine: Si Jake at ang Sipay
Chapter Forty: 11:57 2-14
Chapter Forty One: By Now...
Chapter Forty-Two: Time
Special Chapter 42B: ... and the Untitled.
Chapter Forty Three: White Day and the Sophomore Slump
Chapter Forty-Four: Throwback Thursday Pa Pala
Chapter Forty-Five: Gaya Ng Dati
Chapter Forty-Six: The Green-Eyed Monster
Chapter Forty Seven: Teach Me How You Look and With What Art
Chapter Forty Eight: The Actor, The Bitch, and the Ball Player
Chapter Forty-Nine: Someone to Watch Over Me?
Special Chapter 50: Watching, Waiting, Wanting
Chapter Fifty-One: Paper Faces on Parade
Chapter Fifty-Two: Resistance is Futile
Chapter Fifty Three: The Night Smiles Three Times
Chapter Fifty Four: The House at the Corner of the Plaza.
Chapter Fifty Five: Sunday Mass the Taga-Gitna Way
Chapter Fifty-Six: Sinigwelas Trees and Fireflies
Chapter Fifty-Seven: Ice Candy, Bananas, and Buco
Chapter Fifty-Eight: Kasalanan ito ni Waze at ni Manong sa Plaza
Chapter Fifty-Nine: Here's to the Ladies Who Lunch
Chapter Sixty: As We Let Time Pass
Chapter Sixty-One: What You Do Not Use, You Will Lose
Chapter Sixty-Two: Oracion
Chapter Sixty-Three: Ako Na Lang (Sana)
Chapter Sixty-Four: Gala Night
Chapter Sixty-Five: A Toast to that Invincible Bunch
Chapter Sixty-Six: Family Day is Overrated
Chapter Sixty-Seven: Sunrise and Sunset are Similar But Not Identical
Special Chapter 67B: University Secret Files Continued
Chapter Sixty-Eight: Paper Crowns and the Clowns that Wear Them
Chapter Sixty-Nine: South Kid Strikes [Back?]
EXCURSUS
Chapter Seventy: It is to be All Made of Sighs and Tears
Chapter Seventy-One: Sociedad
Chapter Seventy-Two: Beware the Ides of March
Special Chapter 72B: Beware the Ides of March Part 2
Special Chapter 73: JAKE
Special Chapter 74: Shit Hit The Fan
Chapter Seventy-Five: The Fine Line Between Love and a Waste of Time
UPDATE for Book 3!
2 Years to the Day
Cover Reveal: The Coño Boy Book 6
We Are FOUR YEARS Old
The Coño Boy: Still With You
CHEERS TO 7 YEARS!

Chapter Eight: Slow-Motion + Sexy Music + Guys in Swimming Trunks

4.8K 136 15
By TheLostConyo

We made it to the college sports complex about 6:45.

Luckily wala pa si Coach Bok pero looks like the guys from our class are there na getting ready. Yung varsity swim team naman nasa pool na. Binabasa ko pa sa board yung instructions ni coach na "Shower, Swim Trunks, Shower, Warm-up- " when I felt Joaquin grab me by the arm papunta sa locker area.

Joaquin: Quickly, Dude. Baka Coach will be here any minute na.
Me: Okay.

We went inside the locker area tapos I started to take off my clothes and get changed into my swim trunks.

Joaquin: You seem awfully quiet.

Medyo na-delay yung response ko sa kanya. I turned my back kay Joaquin while I put my towel around my waist so I can remove my underwear para masuot yung trunks.

Me: Huh? Me?
Joaquin: Is there anyone else here na kausap ko?
Me: No kaya.

Obviously, slightly nahihiya ako sa kanya for some strange reason. Well, not really strange. Alam naman nating lahat yung nangyari, di ba?

Me: Hindi lang ako morning person.

I crack him a smile.

Joaquin: Nag-breakfast ka na?

Me: Did I look like nakapag-breakfast ako running out of the house kanina? Not even coffee.

I turn around at naka-towel na rin lang siya. Sa isang tingin ko pa lang sa body niya, who needs breakfast? Busog na ako, swear.

Joaquin: Let's hit the shower na.

I followed him papunta sa shower room. At least may cubicles yung shower room. Nalimutan ko i-check the last time I was here. Naco-conscious pa naman ako pag mga communal showers lang ang facilities na meron. I rinsed myself under the shower. I rememberx something about pool etiquette that you have to rinse or shower before you get into the pool and after.

Joaquin: Dude, you done?

Me: Yup.

Sagot ko while drying off palabas ng cubicle.

Joaquin: Let's go.

Nag-start na siya maglakad towards the locker area. Yung white towel around his waist tied so tight na bakat yung butt niya as he walked away. Breakfast and dessert? Stop it, Sean! Arghhhh! Why me?

Me: Go ahead, kunin ko lang yung attendance sheet for class.

Buti na lang ginawa ko yung attendance sheet at pina-print sa media center in between nung classes ko the other day or else mapapagalitan ako ni Coach Bok as it was his instruction the last time.

Pagdating ko sa pool area, wala pa rin si Coach Bok. I approached my classmates sa may benches beside the pool. Might as well get this attendance sheet over with.

Me: Uhm Guys, attendance ha. Sign-up na lang.

Okay, medyo rare lang mangyayari sa buhay ko yung susugurin ako ng isang group of guys wearing only their swim trunks so maybe I should enjoy this, huh. Looking at my classmates, they're not bad at all. I mean, they're a pretty good looking bunch. Siguro nagpa-casting ang mga angels sa heaven nung nag-decide si God na I need to enroll in this P.E. Class this semester.

I leave the attendance sheet and the pen with the guys so they can finish with it.

Wait, where's Joaquin?

I look around and the bleachers and wala rin siya. I turn towards the pool and there he was...

You know yung scene sa mga movies na parang slow motion with sensual saxophone music?
This was that moment.

Umahon si Joaquin from the pool using those stainless steel bars to get off the water. Just like a leading man -wait, a sexy leading man na may dramatic reveal with special effects na may slight shimmer at slowly flowing yung water pababa ng body niya. And seriously, sinuot talaga niya yung revealing maroon swim trunks that we bought. Well... at least I got a taste of what's inside those trunks.

Joaquin: Wala pa ba si Coach?

Me: Huh?

Joaquin: I said, wala pa ba si Coach?

I had to collect myself for a moment there. Kahapon pa ako basag-na-basag, Joaquin, ano ba?

Me: Uhm, no eh. Nagpa sign-up na ako ng attendance there.

Joaquin: I'll sign na rin. Let me just get my towel.

"Guys, sinong Beadle sa class na to?"

I hear someone from across the pool to where the varsity boys are. I raise my hand to call his attention. Moments later this tall and lean guy that owns that voice makes his way towards me. Keep it coming, Lord! Hahahaha!

Tall and Lean Muscular Varsity Guy: Uhm ---

He starts as if gusto malaman ang name ko...

Me: It's Sean.

Tall and Lean Muscular Varsity Guy: Ah, Tom. The name's Tom.

Okay, he introduced himself. May name na siya; hirap mag-type pag buong description eh.

Tom: Nagpa-attendance ka na?

He asks in a very malambing and somewhat provinciano tone.

Sean: Just a while ago.

Tom: Okay, bilin ni Coach mag-skills assessment tayo ng classmates mo with the varsity swimming team.

Sean: What skills assessment?

Tom: Ah i-check daw kung anong swimming skills meron kayo and yung varsity mag-assess.

Sean: Oh okay.

Tom: May iniwan na mga xerox si Coach don sa may bleachers, distribute mo sa class, sabihin mo fill out nila.

Sean: So, sino first?

Tom: Kung sino na lang mauna matapos sa form?

Sean: Wait, I'll number the forms na lang para may order.

Tom: Okay. Sige, bigay ko sayo yung forms.

Sean: Is that all gagawin for class today?

Tom: Yun lang ang bilin ni Coach Bok. Ma-late daw siya kaya inendorse class sakin.

Sean: So we can go after the assessment?

Tom: Uhm, wala pa instructions if early dismissal.

Sean: Okay, saan na yung forms.

I followed Tom to get the forms. Then bumalik sa classmates ko para kunin yung attendance sheet at pen. I counted 27 guys in total sa class namin, including me, then numbered the forms. I distributed the forms randomly. Later, kinuha ko yung post-it notes sa sling bag ko to write numbers on para sa assessment. I explained to my classmates yung instructions ni Coach Bok. I distributed the forms and inabot ko yung numbered post-it notes kay Tom. Then I called my classmates to attention.

Me: Okay, guys! Start tayo with numbers 1 to 3 in like two minutes, okay?

With a general consensus of nods, looks like we're good.

Joaquin: Naks! Efficient si Class Beadle ah.

Me: Impressed?

Joaquin: Yesterday pa ako na-impress.

Sheeessshhh! I turn my face with my mouth wide open na slightly irritated kay Joaquin. And tinawanan na lang niya ako. I swear! This guy is messing with me.

Tom: Number 1,2, and 3!

Ayan na, skills assessment is a go.

Me: Guys, please don't forget your number is on your form ah. Number 1 to 3 please!

One of our classmates steps forward followed by two more. I noticed nag-aasaran na rin yung iba seems like they got acquainted na.

Joaquin: So, I forgot to ask. Marunong ka ba mag-swim?

Me: Uhm, yeah... I took swimming lessons when I was a kid.

Joaquin: So, why did you tell me the other day na you don't like swimming?

Me: Childhood trauma. Natalo ako sa summer league ng classes namin in a most embarrasing way.

Joaquin: Seriously, dude?

Me: Yup! As in, totally embarrasing. Next time na lang yung story na yan. Baka if nakuwento ko na yang story na yan, mawalan na ako ng mystery.

I flash him a smile at nag-smile naman siya and raised his eyebrows twice in response. I think slowly nawawala na yung awkwardness ng situation from earlier this morning.

Tom: Guys, watch niyo yung ginagawa namin para alam niyo na pag tinawag kayo.

Sigaw ni Tom from the other end of the pool area.

One hour or so later, inabot sakin ni Tom yung lahat ng numbered assessment forms. I was able to pick number 24 so may tatlo pang guys after me while number 21 si Joaquin. I was expecting him to hit the showers na pero tumambay pa siya sa bleachers with his towel around his waist at playing on his phone.

Me: Thanks.

Tom: Uhm, Sean. Nag-compete ka ba nung high school?

Me: Me? No.

Tom: Na-check mo ba yung time mo?

Me: What?

Tom: Yung time mo kanina sa test lap.

Me: Oh, what about it?

Tom: Competitive time siya. Pang-competition yung test lap mo kanina.

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