The deep glug of the wave caught my attention.
I was back, on the beach, the sand between my toes and under the soles of my feet. Only this time it was different. Gulls squawking above my head, spearing themselves through the air avoiding one another. The waves would crash and turn into a light fizz as they rode ashore slowly. I inhaled deeply but it smelt different..
It smelt more of a cinnamon, leather and oranges. I sniffed the air even more, the aroma becoming intoxicating. The effect it had on my body made me feel lightheaded, but it was enticing.
Suddenly the picturesque beach didn't seem important, what was important was working out the smell that I was suddenly craving.
"What's wrong?" A voice whispered making me gasp as arms snaked around my waist holding me close. The warmth of another body settled against my back as the smell invaded my senses again.
Cocking my head to the side, I was met with the bottom of a chin. Small hairs trimmed into a goatee with the odd grey strand almost barely noticeable.
My eyes moved along the jawline before black hair made an appearance, tracing the curve of the ear with my eyes, I followed the thick black line until I saw a familiar logo.
The head turned looking down at me as I met the eyes, shades of blue, grey, brown and green were mixed into a hazel complex.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Zak asked.
~~~~~~~~
I jolted awake, my left side was buried into the bed, where I had fallen asleep watching Avari. Only now the bed was empty.
"Ava?" I spoke before sitting up. My eyes began taking in the room fast as panic filled my chest.
Where is she?
Why can't I hear her?!
"Avari?!" I shouted scrabbling out of the blankets that ensnared my legs. Kicking furiously I threw myself up and rushed to the door pulling it open. My feet began moving faster through the house. The cold marble tiles greeting my feet as I went, the lounge was empty, my eyes ran across the window to see that empty too.
"Ava?" I called heading towards the kitchen.
Pushing open the door, I found her sat on the kitchen island in her PJs whilst Zak was stood at the oven. He instantly looked over at me his eyes raked across my body before returning to my face where I pulled a quick smile.
In my panic, I had left his bedroom in one of his t-shirts. I had no pjs to wear to bed so I had no option but to borrow something, and he did say after all..
"M-morning." He stuttered looking back to the pan in front of him.
"Hi mommy!" Avari grinned waving with one hand whilst she held a small glass of orange juice in another.
"Morning sweetie. Sleep okay?" I asked. Not caring what Zak thought, I moved across the kitchen to kiss her forehead gently.
"Yep!" She smiled happily. Looking at her face carefully, I could see she got some good sleep in, just from the way her eyes sparkled.
"How did you get up there?" I asked looking around for a stool trying to work it out.
"Ah, that would be me. I'm keeping an eye on her. Some men can multi-task." Zak smiled.
"I didn't mean anything by it..." I frowned slightly looking at the marble work surface.
"I'm playing. Did you get some sleep?"
I nodded. "Yeah.. Yeah best I've had in a long time. Thank you." I sighed softly with a smile.
"Good. Well then Bacon is cooked so if you wanna take a seat?" He nodded towards the kitchen table which had been set.
My heart did a funny turn as I looked at it.
"I- let me just put some pants or shorts on. Sorry I should have though-"
"I don't mind." He shrugged pushing the bacon on a plate before putting the pan into the sink.
"Ready pee wee?" He asked making Avari nod.
He turned and waited as she put her glass down and wrapped her arms around his neck. Securing her legs on his waist Zak placed a hand on her back before walking away from the worktop with her on his back.
I smiled watching them as he put the bacon plate down and crouched down onto the floor letting Avari slip off his back carefully.
"You coming to eat or not?" Zak asked making me move towards the kitchen table.
I took a seat beside Avari who watched as Zak began filling up his plate with fruit.
"What's that taste like?" She asked pointing to a sliced up orange.
"Orange. Want some?" He asked her.
She pushed her mouth to the side thinking about it. "Can I have a little piece? Because my mouth isn't that big." She replied looking at Zak's slice.
He chuckled and found a smaller piece putting it on her plate.
I placed some bacon down, with a croissant onto her plate as well as a banana in a hope that she might try it.
Her eyes looked up to me "You have to try it before you say you don't like it."
"Don't like what?" Zak asked opening a banana.
Avari looked at him before looking at her plate. She picked it up and pulled on the top of the banana until it popped open. I watched as she smelt it before taking a small nibble.
Zak was amused and continued to watch her until she braved up and took a bigger bite.
I watched as she chewed it really fast before gulping it down.
"And?" I asked.
"Does this make me a monkey now?" She asked.
"You are already one." Zak teased.
We are breakfast together, occasionally I had to remind Avari to finish her mouth before speaking and to try and eat some more fruit. But I realised the real influence came from the homeowner. As Zak picked up a strawberry and ate it. Avari would push herself to do the same.
Although what she didn't realise is, Zak was aware of the shadowing and had been eating fruit nonstop making her eat it too.
"Mommy I don't want anymore." She mumbled looking up at me with the banana peel and half a croissant.
The bacon, orange and countless amounts of berries and strawberries were gone instead. For the first time she had ate a whole banana!
"Well done." I smiled leaning down to kiss the top of her head.
"Am I going to school today?" She asked.
"Well I was thinking you could play with Gracie today? Would you like that instead?"
She gasped and looked at Zak who nodded. "Yes please! Can we take her for a walk?"
"Of course, we will do that when we are ready. Then when we come back you can help me change her water and feed her." Zak added.
"Yay! Mommy can we stay here forever? I like Gracie!"
I laughed "No sweetie we have to go home soon. But now we know where Zak and Gracie lives, we can pop in every now and then. Can't we?"
"Absolutely." Zak flashes a smile making Avari grin.
"Can I play with Gracie now?" She asked.
"Sure, 5 minutes and then it's shower time."
"Okay mommy."
Zak moved her seat back before she climbed down, as soon as Avari moved from the table, Gracie was up off her bed and at her side.
Ava walked out the glass door with Gracie at her heels.
"Peanut may have been replaced now." Zak said making me nod.
"I know, maybe I'll get her a dog. When things have calmed down."
"Shelter dogs are the best."
"Oh I'd have a shelter dog no matter what. They deserve some happiness."
"Like Ava. She does too." Zak smiled as Gracie ran after a toy Avari had thrown.
"Sorry if she woke you up this morning. I didn't think she would leave the bedroom." I frowned slightly.
"No, no she didn't. I was up when she came out, she was looking for Gracie who was on a toilet break from all the snuggling."
I nodded listening "Oh yeah, she is smitten." I looked over at Zak remembering my dream, shaking my head slightly I looked out the door.
I didn't think too much of the dream simply because of the position we were in right now, he was helping me with Avari and I'd give a kidney to anyone who could help my baby out.
"You look a lot better." Zak commented picking at a blueberry.
"Feel it, your bed is like a cloud. How do you get out of it?"
He chuckled. "I struggle at times..."
My mind picked up on sometime else when he said that making me pause "I suppose it's been broken in well." I replied in a teasing voice.
"Actually, I'll have you know that no woman has slept in my bed."
I scoffed.
"I'm serious. The guest room however..."
I tutted "Such a predator."
"Well... I never get complaints that's for sure."
I rolled my eyes at him and began cleaning up the table. "Ahh," He said wafting my hand away. "I'll clean up. Go on. Get yourself and Ava ready we can hit the dog park."
"Are you sure? I don't mind hel-"
"Yes I'm sure and then we can discuss plans.."
I knew what he meant by plans and with a nod, I headed to the bathroom to take a shower.
*****
"So he will cleanse the home? And then us?" I asked Zak as we walked slowly through the park. Ava was ahead with Gracie holding onto her lead gently.
"House and you, yes. With Ava it may be different..."
"You mean an exorcism. Zak she's 5 years old."
"I know, I don't like this either but what other choice do you have?" He replied looking concerned.
"Are they gonna submerge her in water?" I asked feeling panicked.
"W-what?"
"Well I was desperate. I couldn't get hold of you so I just got her in the car and drove... We went deep into faith to try and find help. Some used violence, others used witchcraft to try and entice it out, then there's the dunking. I simply went to see, I never. Never took Avari."
He frowned "Where did she go whilst you were doing that?"
I sighed "Thankfully I have friends spread out across this country. Some with kids her age so she was kept occupied whilst I went out to get answers only some of the stuff..." I shook my head feeling the memories throbbing.
"Some of it is bad. Right?" He asked.
"T-terrible. How can you heal someone with violence? It's barbaric." I shuddered.
"It's wrong, sadistic and I don't believe in it. Avari won't be subjected to any of that. I wouldn't allow that for her or any woman or child." He replied.
I felt my heart warm hearing the honesty in his voice, the conviction and truth of that oh so subtle promise to keep her safe.
"She is going to be tired, and weak for a few days after too.." He explained. "After my exorcism I slept solid for nearly two days-" I grabbed his arm pulling him to a stop.
"You've had one done too?"
His face fell "Bob Mackey's... We went back."
My heart sank "Oh Zak. I had no idea."
"I didn't make the call, but the footage.. I guess I needed it."
I placed my hand on his arm feeling sorry for him. "Sorry if I'm dragging it all up."
He shook his head "Don't be. You both need help. I'm gonna be part of that help."
We fell into a comfortable silence as we walked along slowly, my eyes fixating on Avari as she picked up a stick throwing it a short distance for Gracie before running after her.
"Thank you." I whispered making him look up from his phone.
"For what?"
I shook my head feeling myself getting a little emotional "For making her a child again for the past day. For giving her a decent nights sleep."
"Don't mention it, Gracie has never had so much exercise." He nodded amused to her panting on the grass looking at Avari before running away.
What I noticed was that Gracie never ran too far from her and always tailed back to her encouraging Avari to run faster.
Some dogs really were smart animals.
***
After ice cream, we headed back to Zak's house. A weight felt like it had been lifted from my shoulders now that I had shared my problems.
Problem shared is a problem halved...
I believe.
However one new problem came crashing down in its replacement as we pulled up to find a red head stood on his doorstep.
Holly.
"Shit.." Zak muttered under his breath.
"Who's that lady?" Avari asked.
"A friend of Zak's sweet." I replied quickly turning to him. "Zak it's fine, we will get out your way, thank you for last night and toda-"
"You're not leaving!" He interrupted me abruptly.
"No! I don't want to go!" Avari whined making me look at her "I wanna stay with Gracie!"
"Sweetie, we spoke about this.. Zak seriously." I answered trying to defuse the situation.
"Fine. Avari can stay with me."
I blinked "Excuse me?"
"You're not taking her back into a car to sleep. No. Actually hell no. Avari can stay, if you wanna, I don't know stay at a hotel then fine. But I d-"
"She is not your child!" I snapped opening the car door.
"Scarlett, I didn't mea-"
I opened Avari's door and got her out taking her hand into mine. "Don't you dare.." I warned him.
"Just let me expla-"
"Not in front of her... or her!" I replied shooting a look at Holly. She realised it was me and the look said it all.
If only looks could kill? I'd be 6 feet under in an unmarked grave.
"Calm the fuck down." Zak began.
"Don't swear!" I snapped.
"Zak! Baby!" Holly cooed.
"Good god she's even more annoying that I remembered..." I muttered. Turning to Ava, I noticed her eyes watering.
"Sweetie?"
"I don't wanna go. I wanna stay with Gracie!"
My heart sank as Zak gave me a I told you so look. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I know babe but Zak has company and well.. Mommy and Holly don't get on."
"Well make friends! I don't want to go! I like Zak's house!"
"Avari please." I began guiding her to the car when she began kicking off. With a hard tug, her hand slipped from mine and she ran into Zak's leg hugging it tightly.
"Ava-"
"Please mommy! Zak tell her!" She cried.
I tore my eyes to him as he lifted his hands up, my eyes were stinging and what hurt even more were the words leaving her mouth.
"I'm staying with Zak and Gracie. I don't want to go with you."
I choked a cry and looked away from them both. Maybe it was the fact I had sleep and half my emotions were no longer numb. Or maybe it was because I was emotionally conflicted myself. Hell it could even be because despite me being the parent? Avari was my anchor. Now she wanted to cut the rope..
I looked back to see Zak holding her in his arms. "Scar, please. Do this for her.."
"I do everything for her!" I bit wiping my eyes.
Zak's brow furrowed "Then once more.. Please."
"Okay.." I whispered not having any other choice. I couldn't leave my baby. The idea tore my soul apart.
I walked over to them and took Avari off him, no matter how old, I'll always want to carry her...
"We'll stay, but don't think we are finished..." I warned him. I looked back at the door to Holly.
"And make sure Jessica Rabbit keeps her clothes on."
Zak nodded.
"Avari doesn't need to know what blue movies are and the moment she starts..." I whispered.
"Trust me." Zak replied.
I wanted too, I really did. But when it came to Holly, we all knew he was blindsided.
"We're so not finished. Bagans."
He smiled slightly "Can't wait Lettie."
I sent him a warning glare and carried Avari back to the house. Despite everything, he knew using one nickname could take me back 8 years...
And I hated him for it.