Harry’s POV
It’s already the morning of December 31. I can’t believe that in less than 24 hours the year is ending and it’s starting another one. It’s not that I give much importance to that, because let’s face it, we’re only going from December to January again. It’s like going from April to May or September to November… Is it just me who thinks this way?
But well, it’s a pretext to go see my old friends and party all night. I don’t go to a party for months, I can’t even remember how it’s to feel drunk. Not that I miss those nights, but sometimes I like to have fun that way. But I changed that side of me because of Louis, I still remember his words.
“You need to grow up and instead of fucking every person you think it's all right, you should think about finding someone not just for one night stand.”
"You think is easy Louis? Do you think I don't have someone in mind? But it's not enough, me liking that person, so it's not like he's going to like me back, especially when he doesn't give a fuck”
"Well you're used to have everything in front of you in a blink of an eye. It's not fucking other people that you're going to gain something in here."
From that day forward I stopped partying so couldn’t get drunk and fuck a random girl or dude, instead I started to spend more time with Louis; to know what he does through the day, to check if he’s okay, to make him company so he doesn’t need to be on the library alone, to make sure I’m in the dorm with him so he doesn’t need to think that he’s alone… all of this was an excuse to be with him because at the end I just wanted to feel his presence. I know he has friends but I also know that they can hurt him while I can’t, I wouldn’t, I won’t… I know it’s kinda selfish but I want to make sure he doesn’t get hurt, so the best way is having him by my side. And even giving my best, fucking Bryan hurt him…
But Louis is with me now. He was with me all the time though and fuck, I can’t believe we’re this close now. I never thought this would be possible to happen. I thought the last time my lips were going to touch his, were the day he got drunk and changed into someone completely different… I thought my lips were going to miss his forever. The feeling was terrific, I didn’t want that. I wanted to feel them again, I wanted to have that memory, I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted him to feel something, I wanted to kiss him and show what I felt through it… I wanted a real kiss.
I had it. God, we haven’t been doing anything else than kissing these last week, even if it has to be me always kissing him. He changed, he hasn’t been raspy to me and he had this thing that while he talked to me he wouldn’t look at me. Now he does it and it makes me melt the way he speaks in a soft tone while his blue eyes are on me.
He used to shout at me and even being mad when I teased him or complimented him, I never understood why by the way – well just when I teased him – but now he just blushes, or smiles shyly or even giggles. Jesus it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen and heard; his eyes crinkle and he covers his mouth with his hand. I also noticed the way he still gets nervous while we’re getting ready to go to bed so he starts touching his fringe or passing his fingers through his hair. I stop him because that’s my job. Now I can stay awake till he falls asleep, touching his hair, making sure he feels okay and relaxed… I think I can’t fall asleep first, always with the fear that he might disappear or if something happens.
We didn’t do much these days, there wasn’t much to do though and is freaking cold outside so going for walks is almost not an option. So we spent them at home, watching movies or playing video games, normal guy’s stuff really. But Louis also managed to read the book I gave to him. He was so excited to start reading it, his face was something that deserved a pictured when he opened the book and started reading the first pages. He read it in three days and to be honest I think his expression at the beginning, from pure joy, isn’t worth it… because if I knew he would cry that hard at the end I’d never thought about buying that god damn book. It was awful. I knew he was only crying because of the book but it was devastated to see. Multiple tears were streaming down his face, I didn’t know what to do to stop them. I hugged him, I let him cry on my shoulder, I pat his back, everything but he didn’t stop sobbing and whispering “It’s not fair!” A part of me wanted to laugh and when I said to him that “It’s only a character from a book, you don’t need to cry this way.” He pulled me away and pushed me out of the bed. I can be used to it but this time it hurt, a lot.
But everything has been perfect and my feelings for him have grown up these past days. I love him so much but it’s not painful as it used to be, it’s enjoyable and I love this feeling now. I don’t even want to sleep because I want to keep feeling this all the time, I want to keep feeling him by my side, I don’t want to lose sight of him.
Of course I ask myself how is this going to end, of course I want to know what he has been thinking about, but I make my best not to think too much about it and screw everything up.
“Harry!” I hear Louis’ voice and it’s too loud so it breaks my thoughts. I also hear my phone ringing but I give my attention to him first. “Aren’t you going to answer the phone? It just woke me up!” he groans and I hope the noise didn’t ruin his morning mood as it used to.
“Right…” I say grabbing the phone from my nightstand and unfortunately he turns his back for me, going back to sleep. What time is it anyway? I’ve been awake for a while now, I know it. It’s weird because lately Louis has been sleeping more hours than me and I always thought it’d be the otherwise.
“Hello?” I say after sliding the green button
“Harry!!” I hear a loud voice from the other side of the line, and I know exactly from who it comes from.
“Rachel?” I speak in a lower tone not to bother Louis that much
“Of course it’s me, you dork! How have you been?” I laugh a little
“I’m great, how about you?”
“Same, same! Look, you know why I am calling you, right?”
“I’ve got an idea…”
“We don’t talk in ages, I kinda miss you!” she always sounds so excited in these situations. I know Rachel since high school and we always kept contact, along with Anna and Mark. They’re good friends of mine but since we don’t see each other so often, we don’t have that friendship anymore, like I have with Niall for example. But when I come here we always meet each other, especially when it’s for parties. Rachel’s house is perfect for that because her parents are barely home because of their work, so she basically lives on her own, she doesn’t have siblings and her house is huge. I think they’re rich even if she says the otherwise, because if they would, they wouldn’t be living here. But I keep my idea.
“I know, I miss you too!”
“Thought so! You are coming to the party, right?”
“Erm…”
“Harry!”
“Of course I am” I chuckle “But with one condition.”
“What?”
“I’ve to take a friend with me.”
“A friend?”
“Hum, yeah! He’s from the campus-“
“Oh so he’s from London?” Her voice sounds weird now and I don’t get the reason
Is Louis from London? Jesus I don’t even know where his hometown is, but I think he lives there with Liam and Zayn. No? I should know this things. “He is?” It’s more like a question, which she can’t answer of course.
“Oh! I guess you can bring him, the more the merrier, right?”
“Good then!” If she ended up saying no I probably wouldn’t go.
“But is he cool? I mean people from London is always snob and think that are the best…”
“That’s not true,” I give with myself laughing. “but don’t worry, he is.”
“Okay! I have to go now, Anna and Mark are coming to offer their help. I’m not expecting yours-“
“Of course!”
“… so I see you at, erm, eight?”
“Seems good for me!”
“So at eight then, at my place. Bye Harry!”
“Bye, can’t wait to see you”
“Same dork!” I chuckle
I hang up the phone and rest it on the place I took. “Who were you talking to?” Louis asks without turning around to face me, and his voice his muffled by the sheets.
“A friend.” I simply answer
“A girl friend?” his voice is weird, almost harsh
“Hum… yeah?” I raise my eyebrow even knowing that he can’t see. He makes a weird sound, which I can’t understand, if it’s even something to understand. Somehow I enjoy it anyway, because by the way he’s talking and not even daring to look at me, I bet that he’s jealous. And if he’s not, then I imagine him acting like this with jealous. I chuckle and lay down on the mattress, getting closer to him till his back is pressed against my chest and I wrap my arms around his torso, resting my chin on his shoulder. “I was invited to a party tonight.” I decide to say
“Okay.” He simply answers
“I’m going!”
“Fine.” This is amusing me
“You’re coming with me, right?”
“Maybe” He answers harshly. I know he will.
“Why this bad humour?” I ask softly.
“Your phone woke me up,” yeah right. “now get off me!” he says but doesn’t make any effort to push me away as he used to do, months ago
“You sure you want me to get off?” I press my lips on his neck and even dare myself to bite slightly the skin so the only sound he lets out is a moan. I smirk triumphantly “Thought so.” I tease and I bet he’s rolling his eyes right now but I keep kissing his neck, pulling away the locks of hair that is on the way. I push his shirt, on the area from his shoulder, to the side, being able to kiss the bare skin there.
“Stop.” He whimpers and I notice that he has his eyes closed. He doesn’t mean what he’s asking for, which pleases me more, so I ignore it and keep kissing him while sliding my hands under his shirt, caressing his waist with my thumb. He lets out small sights and quite noises, till I make him rolling over so I can be on top of him
I make him looking at me and I never saw him like he is. His pupils are dilated and he licks his lips seductively, he’s so freaking sexy and i just want him so badly… I lean over and start again kissing his neck and then up to his jawline “Do you really want me to stop?” I whisper when I reach his lips.
The noise he lets out, makes me want him more and more. He’s so god damn hot and he doesn’t even realise it. He drives me crazy and the effect he has on me has just been increasing since the very first time I saw him. When I lean over to finally press our lips together “Harry, can you-“ I hear my mom’s voice and I think she stops when opens the door and sees me and Louis like this.
“MOM!” I shout and quickly jump out from Louis’ lap, to the other side of the bed. He sits up as well and looks as widely and shock at my mom as me.
“Oh Jesus, I’m sorry boys!” she says and as quickly as she opened the door she also closes it.
I sigh, trying to recover from the surprise and when I look at Louis, he’s still looking at the door with his cheeks a bit rosy. If we were with the blinds from the window closed, probably my mom wouldn’t notice our position due the dark but no, Tomlinson needs to have them open.
Although his expression is precious and I can’t contain my laugh. He looks at me with his usual annoyed face, which makes me laugh even more “I’m sorry!”
“This is not funny at all,” his voice sounds so pissed, god I missed this and I can’t even understand why “We should get up.” He says and when starts crawling out from bed I grab his hand quickly, stopping him.
“It was funny.” I give him a smile and kiss his cheek and the silly smile he gives me, is enough for me to know that we’ll be okay.
~*~
The day went quickly and while my mom decided to ignore the episode from this morning, Louis barely could look at her and act normally. It was funny actually. Niall called me around six, just to have a quick chat and probably because I know he won’t be able to call me at midnight by how drunk his state will be. The conversation lasts longer than I expected since he touched the Louis’ subject and I ended up telling him everything since the moment I asked him to come with me to Holmes Chapel till our last kiss. He’s happy for me but also concerned and I can understand why.
But now is almost eight and we’ve to get ready quickly to go to the party. I decide to dress a normal black shirt and jeans, with my boots and I found funny the fact that Louis dressed the same way, but instead, his shirt is a dark blue and he’s using his vans. I need to buy him a new pair, they’re so dirty… but I can’t tell him that or he’ll say Harry look at your ripped jeans and damaged boots first, okay? I know it. But it’s what gives style to them so it’s fine. Anyway…
We walk downstairs and my sister is there talking with my mother. “Why are you so well dressed?” I tease her making Louis laugh and making her giving me a glower. She’s wearing a black sparkling dress, using her heels and even wearing makeup. She looks beautiful, I mean she always looks beautiful but I usually say the otherwise because that’s what siblings do.
“I’m going to a party! It’s not only you who is popular here!” She snaps
“I see, a party with your boyfriend and your two best friends. Seems cool”
“I don’t have a boyfriend, Harry!”
“Oh, so there’s only left your two best friends. Sad.” She sights loudly and I see her walking towards me with the same face Louis usually does when he’s mad and thinks I’m annoying him too much. “Try to catch me with those heels!” I say running in circles around the island from the kitchen
“Stop you two!” My mom laughs along with Louis
“You’re so annoying!” Gemma rolls his eyes
“I know!” Louis says laughing, looking at me and my sister gives him a pity look.
“I was only joking, you look gorgeous sister!” I give her a small smile which she returns, looking at me in awe.
“Are you two going now as well?” My mom asks and Louis nods at the same time I say “Yes” and we’re almost late, so we are fast saying goodbye so we can get outside to the car as quickly as possible. My mom says that only expects seeing us tomorrow morning but I assure her that we’ll probably be back by three. She doesn’t believe it and says that it’s more probable to my sister coming by that time, than us. I don’t really understand the look she gives me but when she whispers “make sure you’ve your first kiss of the year with the person you love” I understand it right away.
“You didn’t really explain me how this party will work.” Louis says when we reach the car and I start driving
“Hum, is there something to explain?!” I ask confused
“Yes, I mean… not really.” He sighs “I just want to know some details, maybe.”
“Like what?” I don’t know what the point of this is but at least we’re talking.
“Where is the party? Will be there a lot of people?”
“A house from a friend and yes probably.”
“A friend?” He’s been asking me a lot of questions lately, which is unusual. “The one you were talking to on the phone?” his voice sounds weird, a bit mad but I don’t understand it really
“Yes.” I simply answer.
“What-What type of friend?” I give with myself laughing a little by his question
“The type of old friend.” I answer and make sure to look at him when we stop on the traffic lights, however he doesn’t look back at me and somehow he looks nervous “I’m glad you’re going to meet them.”
“Them?” this time he looks at me
“Yeah, Anna, Rachel and Mark. We’re friends since high school”
“Oh. O-Okay. You were talking with Rachel in the morning, right?”
I raise my eyebrow “Yeah… were you listening to our conversation?!”
“Yes.” He looks outside the window now and I’m forced to keep driving when the light turns green “Is there any possibility that…” I know he’s debating with himself if he should ask what he’s thinking about. “…that she was more than-than your friend?” He almost whispers.
“Oh, erm… M-Maybe.” I answer and somehow I feel guilty. I don’t know why because there is no need to feel like this… but Louis doesn’t say anything else the whole drive and I miss the sound of his happy voice now.
I need to park the car some meters away from her house since there is no place in front of it. Louis opens the door without saying a word and I follow him. He’s behaving the way I behaved when I knew about him and Bryan. I was so pissed that didn’t even talk to him and that was something new for me. But right now, I know he’s not only feeling this way just because of Rachel, but also because I know he’s fighting with himself about this party, like he did about Christmas. He’ll be in a completely different space, with different people that I know and he doesn’t.
He waits for me while I close the door and then the car. I feel his hand pushing the sleeve from my jacket, making me look at him. “Be by my side, okay?” He asks, looking at the floor. I knew he was going to say that.
“Of course.” I reply in a soft tone. When he lets go off my arm, to start walking, I stop him, grabbing his hand “Rachel…” he looks up at me, confused and maybe even in curiosity “Rachel and I are just friends now, y’know…” I don’t think he wants to know that, even needs to, but I feel like telling him. I know it doesn’t matter for him, he doesn’t care but I love him and I’m kinda confused about what we are now so I’m just worried about what he’s thinking about now.
“Okay.” Is his answer. It kinda shocks even disappoints me but at least he keeps holding my hand till we reach the big house so then he drops it. I don’t know what is wrong with me but a part of me wants to hold it back and walk away with Louis from here and just take a walk or even go to my house so we can be alone. Maybe watch another movie, even if it was one we already watched. We could even be only talking about stupid things, or eating junk food… anything would be great because at the end I’d end up pulling him closer to me, kiss his lips – that I already miss since the last time I kissed them was last night – maybe we’d end up snogging, till he was without shirt like it happened once, and I’d take advantage to pass my hands through his warm skin, feeling him and wondering how would it be touching him again… hearing him moaning my name, being that close to him. Maybe doing something more, maybe he would even kiss me for the first time since it has always to be me doing it first, maybe he would tell me another deep secret he has and we’d chat till he’d fall asleep, with his arms around my body and his head rested on my shoulder and just then I would be able to fall asleep next to the one I love.
That’s too much to think about… but I pull all those things to the back of my head when the person who opens the door for us, is one of the people I missed the most. “Fucking Styles!” Mark shouts and we both hug each other without allowing me to say a word, not even a hi.
“Jeez buddy, I missed you” I smile when we pull back and he offers me one of his big smiles. If Louis thinks I’m lively he really needs to meet my three mates.
“Who’s this fellow?” he looks at Louis still with a smile and if Louis was feeling bad or insecure, he sure feels better because he smiles back at Mark and extends his hand at him
“I’m Louis.” Mark pulls back Louis’ hand and gives him a quick hug, leaving him speechless
“Mark, nice to meet you! So you must be the guy from London, hm?”
“Erm, I think so?” He raises his eyebrow at me. Louis is not from London.
“Let’s go inside!” he says and I can hear the loud music coming from there and as soon as we enter and he closes the door I can see the familiar faces around the place. It reminds me the frat’s parties I used to go to, but this time, for my surprise, it’s not as crowed as I expected it would be. I find myself feeling some relief “Man, I have so much to tell you.” He says and he looks happier than the last time I saw him
“Yeah?”
“Anna and I-“ he starts but is interrupted with… “Anna what?”
“Anna?” I ask looking at the girl next to us
“Harry!” She smiles brightly and gives me a hug, just with one arm since the other one is holding a cup.
“You changed!”
“I just changed my hair colour” she chuckles. But turning from brunette to ginger is not her only change, she looks older… but in a good way. Her clothes changed, I can tell she lost weight and… her boobs are bigger and-
“Hey Styles, don’t look at my girl that way” Mark says, putting his arm around her waist and she pats his arm, with a smile. This people are always smiling
“Your girl?”
“We started dating!” Anna announces and I give them a big smile and say “Finally!” because those two were made for each other and I was expecting that since we were fifteen.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry!” Anna suddenly says and turns to Louis. “Hi, I’m Anna.” She smiles at him I know that she’s asking herself if she should stop by there, or hug him or just shake his hand
“I’m Louis!” He smiles back at her and they end up giving each other a quick hug
“Nice to meet you. So you’re friend from our Harry, right?”
“Hum, we can say that!” He answers her and gives me a quick look. So we can say that we’re friends… What does that mean?
“So you are our friend too!” She says and takes his hand to walk with him to I don’t know where, I just know she’s taking my Louis away from me
“Wait we are going too” I try to speak but when she turns around and says smiling “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him!” and I don’t know if Louis is happy with that by the face he’s making and almost asking me for help.
However I can’t do anything when Mark does the same thing with me but walks to the other side of the house saying “She’ll take good care of him” Dammit, we were supposed to be together.
But I won’t get rid of Mark so soon. When he starts talking, he doesn’t stop so I get to know every new he has to tell me, every stupidity he made this semester, how Anna and him ended up together and other stuff that I choose not pay much attention to. Then appears some other people who I knew from high school and I can’t believe they still remember me and that I still remember their faces.
We walk to the kitchen to eat some snacks and it’s when I’m hoping to see Louis, but no. There’s no sigh of that beautiful boy and it’s been half an hour. I even check my phone but there isn’t a missed call, but not that I was expecting some though “Hey, Styles?” I look up at Mark and he gives me a questionable look “What’s up?”
“Nothing.” I answer putting my phone back on my pocket
“You look stressed.” I’m not stressed I’m just worried about how Louis is right now. I need to have him by my side. I know Anna will take good care of him but still… he’s not by my side…
“I’m fine.”
“Are you looking for your friend?”
“Hum… yeah, it’s been a while.” I laugh a little but I don’t feel like it now.
“He’s fine” he laughs “So tell me, he must be a good friend of yours, for you to bring him here.”
“Yes he is.” I find easy to answer this time.
“Niall was a good fellow as well” he says. Oh yeah, Mark loved Niall. They’re kinda similar actually so they got along pretty well “You need to bring him here one more time.”
“I will!” I grin
“It’s good to know that you made good friends there.”
“Me too.” I was kind of afraid that I wouldn’t suit myself there, make friends and feel comfortable enough to keep studying there. I was just so used to the life I had here, close to my family and my friends. Our friendship changed and that made me feel a bit down but the friends I made there are great and I didn’t lost contact with the old ones so I shouldn’t be complaining.
“But this guys is not like Niall, is he?” he says and I look weirdly at him
“How so?”
“I feel like you-“ I stop hearing what he’s saying when I see, above his shoulders, a blonde girl walking towards us.
“Rachel!” I shout and I know my face lights up. She grins widely at me and runs to my arms. I hug her tightly, god I missed her. I didn’t even realise how much I missed her after this hug. How her arms wrapped around my neck while I lifted her with my arms around her waist. She smells the same and her hair is as beautiful and soft as I remember.
“You’re so much stronger” she says when we pull back. Her blue eyes look bigger due the makeup she’s wearing, but she looks stunning and the dress she’s wearing sure suits her perfectly. “And more handsome” she winks. Right, we didn’t see each other on summer holidays because she was in America so it’s been almost a year since I don’t see her. Well she didn’t change as much as Anna and I saw her on summer, but she got prettier too. I think it’s the age.
“You too, you look beautiful!” I smile at her and she answers the same way
“Well maybe I’ll leave you two for now. I’ll see where Anna is and if she’s still with your friend” Mark says waving at us and walking away
“Oh I met your friend. Louis, isn’t it?” Rachel asks, leaning on the counter in front of me, where Mark was previously. There aren’t many people on the kitchen now, they came here to eat something and walked away. The kitchen is big so it seems like we’re the only ones here.
“Yes!” I give with myself smiling, but the reason is by hearing Louis’ name.
“He’s so cute! And you were right, he’s cool.”
“Yeah he is. Actually I was looking for him, it’s been almost an hour since the last time I saw him”
“Oh they’re downstairs in the lounge, where most of the people are. Anna introduced him some people, he seems to make friends really easily.”
“Really? Good then.” I’m actually kinda surprised. I know Louis is easy to talk to, but if he doesn’t feel comfortable enough around strangers he won’t talk, so that was the reason why he made me promise to be by his side. But I’m not by his side and it doesn’t matter how fine he can be that I won’t be rested. I need him by my side, it’s like an addiction now and if he could hear my thoughts he’d think I’m creepy and obsessed, but heI can’t so I could even think about me and him naked and–
“Harry?” Why do people shout my name so many times? Is it because I’m too lost on my thoughts that I don’t even pay them attention “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I am.” I offer her a smile to assure her
“It doesn’t seem so. You look weird.”
“When is the time that I don’t look weird?” I ask her, making her laugh and nod as agreement “So tell me, how things going with you? Any news? Mark told me tones of things now I want to hear yours.”
“Well actually I wanted to talk to you about some things. I know how a good listener you are!” I look carefully at her, giving her my whole attention “So, I’m finally taking design…”
“Really? That’s great!” She’s been dreaming to do that since I met her and if she achieves it I’ll be really proud and happy for her
“Yeah it is. But I don’t know what to do…” I look at her in curiosity “As you know I was in America on summer with my parents and thanks to them, when I finish my studies I can work there in a fashion magazine and if I’m lucky luck I can even start making my own projects…”
“But that’s amazing, why don’t you look happy for that?”
“Because, that was thanks to my parents and their name. I want to achieve my dreams on my own. If I accept it, it’s like I’m not fighting for it and don’t actually deserve it.” she says and I might understand her “I don’t know what to do, I don’t even know if I want to start my life like this.”
“Why not? I think you should accept. I understand your point but, if you have this opportunity why don’t you take it? Don’t think that way that you didn’t fight for it. You have your passion, isn’t that enough? Your parents may have helped you, but so what? You’re lucky that you’ll live your dream and do what you wanted to do for years. That’s amazing and I’m really happy for you, Rachel!” I finish with a warm smile.
“Harry… Thank you.” She smiles too “So you think I should accept it?” I nod and she looks much better now. “I’ve missed you” She takes my hands on hers and looks at them together “Seeing you leaving to London was so hard… You know that I still had feelings for you, didn’t you?” I know she had, but I choose not to answer. We had broken up more than a year before, but we were still friends, really good friends I have to admit. But things didn’t work as I expected to so I just didn’t want to keep that and reach the point that we couldn’t stand each other and then ruin our friendship. And I knew something was wrong with me. It was in that time, after breaking up with her that I started things with… Bryan. They never got to know that and I don’t know how Rachel would react if she knew I broke up with her because of a guy. So then going to London made me have sure that I really do liked boys. Or maybe I just like Louis, but he’s a boy so let’s say it. “But even if it was hard for me to see you leaving, it was good to forget about us.” She laughs a little and looks up at me “I’m really happy that we’re still friends.”
“Me too,” I finally manage to speak “it was hard too… for me.” It probably was harder for her, but she was one of my closest friends and not being as close as we were, was tough. “But I’m here now.” I smile and rest one hand on her cheek.
~*~
Louis’ POV
Harry’s friends are just like him. Loud, noisy but funny. They really talk too much and have always something to say. They also drink a lot… while I just drank a glass and kept eating snacks, each one had probably already drank five and it’s not even half past nine.
I really want to know where the fuck Harry is, he promised he was going to be by my side and he’s not. Fuck. I’m starting to depend too much on him. I can talk with people, I can easily be without him for a moment, but I was getting so used to be with him that now I feel like I’m naked and it’s missing something – and not only my clothes. But I couldn’t do anything when Anna pulled me by my arm and walked with me to here. This house is huge and I can’t believe they have a fucking lounge where the garage was supposed to be.
I’m not saying that I’m not having fun and that this is boring. Much the otherwise, this people are great and Anna, who is the one who is making me more company, is great. She’s sweet and pretty and really kind. She’s been talking to me about how Harry and they used to hang out and what they usually did. I liked to hear that, hearing about Harry when he was fifteen from another person, another perspective.
But then, then Rachel appeared and holy shit I’m not surprised that Harry dated her. She’s hot, I’m gay but I can tell when I see a hot chick. Her blonde hair is so soft and just like the ones that appears on the adverts about shampoo. She’s taller than me, how is that possible? Her legs are so long and thin and her blue eyes… jeez my blue eyes are nothing compared to hers. And when she talks, she makes everyone laugh. She’s just like Harry and I wanted to hate her but I couldn’t, she was really nice to me. Wait, she’s a girl… why am I talking as if I’m a teenage girl from high school? God I’m a guy and I’m twenty.
But it didn’t take long till Mark appeared – and Anna and he are a really cute couple, I’m kinda jealous – so I’m not putting the option that he’s alone upstairs, since I expect that everyone is here now, so he’s with her, I’m sure. Fuck, I am jealous. I can’t be. But just this morning, the way he talked with her on the phone… he was so comfortable, so himself, so secure. I miss you too. I can’t wait to see you. I remember to hear. The way he said that… he seems to like her a lot.
He said they’re just friends now but that doesn’t stop him for feeling something. But he said he loved me so… but he just said it that day, I can’t even remember how his voice sounds when he says those three words. But we’ve been… kissing and stuff so what does that mean? Wait, what does that mean to me? What are we? FUCK, what am I doing?
“Louis? Can you go upstairs calling Harry?” I follow Mark’s voice “He’s probably still in the kitchen with Rachel.” Of course.
“They’re missing all the fun here.” Anna says with a grin. I should be enjoying the party too like other people are. I mean some of them are already drunk and I can’t understand how. But they’re playing some games, and everyone is laughing and even dancing and I’m here sat in a corner, while a couple is snogging and I’m thinking about my friend that I used to hate but who loves me and that lately we’ve been kissing each other.
“Hum, sure!” I say and stand up from the bank, walking towards the stairs. I ask myself how many rooms this house has. Just on the first floor there is two bathrooms, a big kitchen, a living room, a dining room and... a salon? Harry is right, this people are rich. And it’s all so well decorated.
“It was hard too… for me.” I hear Harry’s voice coming from the kitchen. I take a look from the door and see the two of them holding hands. What was hard for him? “But I’m here now.” he smiles and rests one hand on her cheek. What the fuck? So it was hard for him to be apart from her? Well, now you can kiss her Harry, I’m here to watch the show and you’re here with her now.
Fuck, fuck and fuck. What the hell is this? Why am I feeling this way? So betrayed… I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t, dammit. Harry and I are just friends. Friends who like to kiss sometimes. Fuck, I like to kiss him a lot but oh well maybe while he was kissing me he was seeing Rachel’s perfect face and my blue eyes were hers that he saw. And maybe-
“Louis?” I look widely at Harry and he quickly pulls away from her. I’m probably with my cheeks redder than a tomato.
“Hum… Sorry if I interrupted something, but Mark asked me to call you two. So yeah…” I say and make my best to get out of here as fast as I can
“Wait, we go with you.” I hear Rachel’s voice and stop, waiting for them. I don’t even bother to turn around. I stay frozen not wanting to look at Harry again.
I hate this feeling. It’s not right, anything is. But I thought Harry loved me… I really thought and I was liking that idea. I was liking the idea to have him by my side like he was these days.
*
[an:/] This chapter is quite big and i can't believe i'll have to split the new year in two parts. I wasn't planing to do it but well. Hope you like this one i think it's boring but next one will be better i promise! And about the Character's ask, some of you liked it and you can keep asking questions and i'll just add it there and make sure to tell you when :)
45 VOTES & 21 COMMENTS (i really hope to reach 50 votes in a chapter someday! bye love you guys)
* next chapter is private , is important if you read it ! If you can't see it , you have to follow me or try the link on my description! *