QUOTES & JOKES COLLECTION

By kath_panares

10.2K 55 2

here are some of my jokes and quotations on my phone ,just sharing ...hope you like it :-) More

PART 1
PART 2
PART 3
PART 4
PART 5
PART 6
PART 7
PART 8
PART 9
PART 10
PART 11
PART 12
PART 13
PART 14
PART 15
PART 16
PART 17
PART 18
PART 20
PART 21
PART 22
PART 23
PART 24
PART 25
PART 26
PART 27
PART 28
TRANSLATIONS 1
TRANSLATIONS 2
TRANSLATIONS 3
WHAT IF CONYO LAHAT NG NASA PINAS?
PART 29

PART 19

184 2 0
By kath_panares

------------

Kpag "ikaw" ay nwala skin.,

tatawa ak0 ng

b0nggang-b0ngga.,

as in ung

SUPER

DUPER

ULTRA

MEGA

MAJOR

MAJOR

na tawa.,

ganit0 oh.,

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

pr0 lam m0 qng nsan ak0?

nsa mental nbbliw sa

pgkawala m0.

------------

"Hndi porket mahal ka ng isang tao PAHIHIRAPAN mo sya.

Hndi mo alm NAKAKASAKIT ka n.

Hndi lng IKAW ang tao sa BUHAY nya ,  pro gnagawa nya ang lht pra ipakita sau n ikw ang

"PINAKA MAHALAGA"

---------

Math Teacher: Find da value of X.

Juan: Ay sus mam dapat hndi na hnahanap ang value ng X,

X na nga e dapat an tnuturo mo smen kung pno mag move on! hndi kung anu ano pnpaalala mo smen saka Past is Past, NO NEED TO DiSCUSS!

------------

"love takes effort & acceptance.

it won't always be a happy ride..

you'll cry when you're hurt..

you'll be sad when ignored..

but hold on and always remember,

love hurts when,

iT'S REAL.

------------

"ms mgndang

pksmhn

ang mga taong my SALTiK!

kesa pksmhn

ang mga ta0ng

PLASTIK!

------------

The instructor is always silent when a test is given..

So when God is silent in your life,

You are being tested..

He will give you the right answers to your questions later..

If you passed, there's a reward..

If you failed, there's a learning..

------------

Dear Math,

   I am sick and tired of finding your "x" just accept the fact that she is gone ..

   MOVE ON DUDE

------------

Pano Mo Sa2bhin Sa MAHAL Mo Na Nagse2los Kna?

Hirap Dba?

Yakapin Mo Nalang Sya Ng Mahigpit, At Ibulong Mo

Sa Knya.

"iSA PANG

TEXT MO SA KANYA,

MALAYA KANA NA!"

---------

Forget the THINGS that MADE you "CRY"

  and

F0CUS on the PRESENT that

C0MPLETEs your "SMILE":)

------------

SMILE is not always a sign

of JOY..

sumtyms,     its a way

of telLING..

"IM N0T HAPPY

BUT IM TRYING TO BE OKEY!"

------------

Sabi nila hindi nagtatagal ang LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!

Dahil sabi nga sa CHEMISTRY at PHYSICS :

"As the distance increases, the force of attraction decreases."

Sabi ko naman :

"LOVE is not measured by DISTANCE. Because as a matter of fact, LOVE IS NOT RELATED IN SCIENCE.

------------

''ayokong baguhin ang sriLi ko pra lng maging katulad ng inaasahan skin ng ibang tao

Ay0k0ng umarte nah prang in0sente pra ipakita ang hindi nman ang tunay na aq.

Alam m0 kng bkt?

Dhil mas mbuting ayawan ako sa kung cn0 ak0..

Kesa mkasund0 ako s di ko tunay na pagkata0."

---------

ang teddy bear ginawa para YAKAPIN ..

ako ginawa para

MAHALIN ..

at ikaw??

ginawa para sa

AKiN! 

------------

Kung nabangga b kta ssbhin mo bng BULAG ako khit na

.

.

.

.

.

my PAGTINGIN ako sayo?! O___o

------------

Minsan tinatanong

ko ang sarili ko..

"Kaya ko bang

ibigay lahat para

sa taong mahal

ko??"

Hindi ko alam

isasagot ko..

Nasabi ko na lang

sa sarili ko ..

"KULANG PA BANG

IBIGAY ANG

KALAYAAN NIYA.

KAHIT HALOS

IKAMATAY KO

NA?"

------------

"habang marami kang nalalaman , lalo mo lang nalalaman na marami ka pang hindi alam".

---------

You can never let someone to stay with you FOREVER. sometimes you have to let them go , but you have to

remain standing..

------------

  pag AKO  naging iyo wag muna q PAKAWALAN !

dahiL dimu pa aqo iniiwan ' marami ng naka abang

------------

Di ko kailangan ng mukha mo para ipagyabang na may itsura ang mahal ko,

.

.

.

.

ang Kailangan ko ay PUSO MO na pwede kong ipagyabang dahil AKO LANG ang maswerteng nilalaman nito..

------------

ang ALAMAT ng

pinakaCUTE

na nilalang ;

isang araw ,

may ipinanganak na sanggol..

at ang sanggol na ito ay.

IKAW..

THE END ..

naks naman !

smile sya.

tandaan:

ang alamat ay

kathang isip lamang

at maLayo sa katotohanan!

------------

umiwax ako

dhL iba na

mahaL mo ,

Lumayo ako

dhL naxasaktan

nako ,

pinagLaBan kta

kHt aLam kung

taLo ako ,

kAya masAkit

man

xa Lo0b ko ,

piniLi k0ng

Lumayo naLang

at nangak0ng

maGiging

maxaya

para SAYO :"(

------------

- The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears. And thd kindest heart have felt the most pain. -

------------

PAIN makes u str0nger

TEARS makes u braver

HEARTBREAK makes u wiser

s0 thank da past f0r a better fuTURE..

---------

"yung feeLing na hindi ka sigurado kung seryoso siya..

pero ikaw, asa ng asa."

------------

ang pg-ibig parang sugat ..

madaling mghilom pero mg-iiwan parin ng peklat na mgpapaalala sayo ng malungk0t na nakaraan ..

------------

I'm not perfect

when it comes to relationshp..

i mess up,

i start fights..

i easiLy get jeaLous..

but there are 3 things im proud of being me ..

i don't play ..

i give my best ..

and

when i choose you, it's only you.

------------

every teardrop

precious so

better make

sure that

if you drop

some ..

its worth

crying for you

can never

pick them up .

and put them

back to

your eyes.

---------

"buti pa sila maganda ang lovelife, samantalang ako ito.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

MAGANDA LANG.

------------

Tao Lng

ak0

pwdeng

mg mhaL

ta0 ka Lng

pwedng

msaktan

tao Lng ty0,

mrun0ng

mgmhaL

at msaktan,

pro wag m0

idahLan na ta0

ka Lng na..

"pwdE ak0ng

pgLaruAn.."

------------

may mga bagay na ayokong MATAPOS..

Pero takot akong iPAGPATULOY ..

Prang ganito din:

ayokong UMASA, pero

NAGHiHiNTAY prin ako ng SOBRA! :(

------------

HATERS:

hindi naman taLaga siLa gaLit sayo. In fact, gaLit siLa sa sariLi niLa. Kasi ang mga bagay na gusto niLa, sayo niLa nakikita..

---------

daling mgsbi ng "s0ri"

dali mgsbi ng "mhL ktA"

daling mgsbi ng "kyLngAn ktA"

pr0 nLmn ko pnkmhRp pLa tlgang sbhn Ung..

"pAaLm, mLAyA k na, snA d nLng ktA nkLa2!!"

     :((

------------

"i don't understand why destiny aLLowed some peopLe to meet,

when there's no way for them to be together.."

------------

MnsAn

mPgLar0

aNg tDhana..

MhaL kA-

aYw m0..

MhaL m0-

aYw

nMan sÁU..

pRo aNg

mSakiT

aY Ung..

MhaL kA

MhaL m0

pRo..

aYw nAng tDhaNa nA mGing kaU..

------------

oo nga't nakikita mo siya..

oo nga't nakakatext mo siya..

oo nga't binansagan mo siya..

oo nga't nagbabatian kayo..

oo nga't care na care ka..

Ang tanong,

KAYO BAAA? :D

------------

Our eyes r placed in fr0nt bec0z its m0r imp0rtant 2 luk ahed dan 2 luk bak..

Dont dwelL on the tngs in the past, learn fr0m them and kip muvng 4ward..

---------

'ang paGtingin s mahal m

Hbng may kasma siyang iba ay pRaNG PAGtitig s araw ng wlang suot n    SUNGLASSES,

Ang skt s mata'

------------

Puro lambingan.

Puro i miss you.

Puro i love you.

Puro akin ka.

Puro di kita iiwan.

Puro sayo lang ako.

Puro ikaw lang.

Puro di ako magsasawa.

Puro hapiness.

Puro monthsary.

.

.

.

e nag break..

AYUN!

.

.

.

NGANGA!! XD

------------

nagmhL aq

Lhat

gnwa q,

pina2nyan

qng,

mkkaya

q.,

aLam mu

anong

n22nan

q?

magmhL

man

aq

22o,

di

pRn i2

spat

sa

taong

di

marunong

mgseryos0.

------------

Promise yourseLf that upon waking up you will say to yourseLf:

"today,i'LL be too busy,

too busy being happy that I've absoLutely no time feeLing sad"

---------

LOVE yourself & be PROUD of everything that u do. Even ur mistakes

coz that means you're trying.

------------

people don't cry because they are weak,

they cry because thay have been strong for so long  

------------

"DonT puT y0ur hearT iN s0me0nES haNd unTiL Y0urE n0T surE tHaT thEY kN0w h0w t0 hoLd It tI6ht"

------------

Sana

Ang love parang

Volleyball nalang . . .

.

.

Para

Whenever i shout

"Mine" , .

.

.

Everyone will

Back off :D

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