Finian POV
Long dancing flames stretch their fingers high in the night sky carrying my father back to the moon. It's our life cycle, we come from the moon, we go back to the moon only to meet again one day.
The fire is fed all night long, burning hot and bright.
The first soft glow of light breaks through the darkness. We've all been standing for a very long time watching the fire, all quiet in mourning.
Now is the time for any challenges for the Alpha position. If any wolf thinks they can beat Grey, now is the time to show teeth.
Taking a position on his left, letting every one of these wolves see that I support Grey as the True Northern Alpha. Peter takes a position behind us...
"You have my support Grey, the Western pack stands with you." His voice comes out in bludgeoning force meant to deter any challenge to Grey's position. Peter puffs himself out, looking around the group of males....waiting for the wolves to step forward.
The wait isn't long, males start to circle posturing their intent. Their own nature pushing them to take what they think they can. These are Beta born seeking to further their status against another Beta. They don't realize he's Alpha born just like I am, cut from the same cell. The only difference is I was born first.
Chest puffing up, "Show these wolves who you are Grey." My voice is only for his ears. The pack backs away, my mother must endure this, she is no longer the Luna, she cannot hold the title without an Alpha backing her. She's too weak against a full grown male, her nature won't allow her to hold a pack by herself. Only the strongest can lead.
A female has never held an Alpha position ever.
Bristling fur raises along Grey's spine, his wolf has fully ascended. Teeth sharp, willing to inflict pain, death to those that think they are more than him. A fierce gust of wind scattering the ashes of the fire, lifting my father up and away, nothing but warm coals remain. My father's body no more, he is no more. I only hope he is watching his son be what I could never be. My head wants to hang in shame.
Whispering out to the wind "I'm sorry, father."
Five wolves surround Grey, they will attack in a pack first trying to take the strongest out, then they will cannibalize each other....survival of the fittest.
Do they not realize who personally trained us, do they not realize we are the sons of the alpha.
Grey holds his ground assessing each individual, he will take the most aggressive out first...as violent as he can. This will be the first time he will take a life, he's going to remember this till the day he dies.
You never forget the first.
I remember mine, I was a newly shifted juvenile visiting my mother's pack for a few weeks in the summer. While the sun shined almost twenty-four hours a day. The second son of the Alpha kept harassing us, biting at our haunches. He drew first blood from me before turning on Grey. The way that wolfs muzzle was dripping with Grey's blood left me no choice but to show them who I was. It was so easy, just clamp down, bite hard, pull back, tearing the life away from him. His brother attacked, that was a different matter. He was Alpha born just like me, the fight was fair, so evenly matched. Both of us bloody, torn apart. We only stopped when the Alpha got involved, my mother pleading for my life. Stating the Old Ways belief system, it was in my right, that wolf drew first blood, she was invoking traditions that bind that pack to the moon with its rigid rules.
I was lucky to escape.
Attention focusing back on Grey, ears flattened against his head, mouth dripping saliva, tail out straight, he's stiff legged. Father taught us not to posture too much against our rivals, instead, surprise them with an attack. The wolves around him are all dancing their war dance, fighting forms all displaying lethal teeth that will kill if given the opportunity.
Grey outweighs these wolves of lower born rank, he is magnificently terrible.
Composing of flesh, sinew, and bone of epic proportions. Grey leaps in a flash, going instantly for the kill. The wolf evades his first attack, the other wolves circle him like vultures, lunging, ripping the skin open on his haunches. Grey pays them no mind, his focus on the wolf that could cause him the most trouble. Grey's growls hold a ferocity to them, my wolf urging me to take it all. To challenge my brother for my birthright. Anchoring my resolve, it takes all my minds will to lock my beast away.
The wolves swerve away from Grey's snapping jaws only to try to overthrow him, they can't. With lightening quickness Grey catches the wolf by his throat ripping a gaping hole that you can't heal from, blood spewing out in pulses. The next two wolves descend on him fast, biting deep at his shoulder close to his neck. Crimson saturates his fur, matting it down in clumps.
He catches one wolf, driving his fangs into its soft neck, he is a perfect killing machine. His swiftness is not matched, another wolf's throat open, it's life blood spilling out quickly. Two remain, but instead of attacking, they turn tail, hunker down in submission. Grey needs to show mercy now, these wolves know when they are beaten. Instead of showing his mercy they die at his feet, our father would not approve of that.
His wolf soak in his own blood roars his ascent to the pack.
The pack takes a knee in submission, except Alpha Peter and myself, I will not bend a knee to him. Even my mother has her neck turned towards him. It's the way it has to be done, generation after generation.
A new Alpha's reign has come...Grey looks towards me, not bending but an equal now.
Out of the corner of my eye, Thomas is puffed up, looking on as if Grey is a god in his young mind. Thomas is the first to shift, such a skinny little juvenile, all grey fur, with black tipped ears. He gets that from my mother. He has not yet filled out, he has a lot of training ahead of him.
The rest of the shifting starts within the pack, males, females and juveniles all starting to take on their fighting form. Grey bloody and torn will lead the brutal run, turning to me "come" is all I hear in my mind. His voice wanting me to run with my pack. They just don't realize it's not mine anymore. I gave that right up, I have decided I will be nobodies Beta. Turning away, walking towards the house, my back to them all.
"Fin, you should run with them. This is a big moment in Grey's life." Looking back over my shoulder they have already started off without me.
"I can't Peter." Putting my hands in my pocket, jaw clenched in self-imposed silence.
Grey finds me laying on my old bed, looking up at the ceiling. Thomas behind him watching hesitantly, "come in guys." Getting myself into a sitting position, Thomas stands at the door, while Grey takes the chair at my old desk.
Standing very slowly as not to startle Thomas, Grey also stands. We are almost the same height just a hair separates us.
"Grey, I'm proud of you. I just want you to know that. No matter what else is between us, I'm proud of you." Trying to keep control of my own voice is harder than I thought.
"Thank you, Fin." Grey's voice mirrors my own.
'Fin, I want you to stay."
"I can't Grey, not yet, maybe with more time. I just don't know."
"I understand, but remember this is your home, your birthright. If you ever decide you want it back, I won't fight you for it."
"Grey, I don't want it."
My eyes going to Thomas, who's observing in silent judgment.
"Thomas, maybe one day you could come visit me in the West? I could help with your training." I need to repair this damage between us.
"I'm not sure, Fin." His voice cracking slightly from his young voice to his deeper male voice.
"It's okay, just think about it." Making my voice very easy to his ears.
My mother comes into my room, looking around, relief in her eyes that I'm not at my brother's throat.
"My males." She puts her arms out, as we all go to her, hugging her close. She looks the way a porcelain doll looks, pale, small, fragile. I feel she could break if we aren't careful with her. I need to be careful with her, she's not well. Grief is agony of the mind. We stay like this, having our moment the four of us.
"I'm sorry." Just a whisper, the two words breath out my mouth. My head hangs in great shame. My mother's hand on my head, not saying a word. In this moment I need to make this right between myself and my family. My hatred for what has been done to me needs to stop, Grey had no idea Victoria was my mate, the blame all lies with her. She was the one with no virtue, no honor, no respect for the mate bond. My brother is like any male, he saw the opportunity that she was willing to give and he took it.
Female voices calling my mother, has her leaving us without saying another word. Her pack females supporting her through all this. My mother has been loved as their Luna, has taken care of the pack for so long. Now it's their turn to take care of her in her time of need.
"Grey, I want to have a drink with you. Thomas go get us a bottle of whiskey, three glasses." He looks towards Grey for permission. I see Grey nod his head slightly towards our younger brother.
"Grey, I forgive you. It wasn't your fault. I can see this now." Holding my hand up to stop him from talking.
"It's hard for me, but I really am going to try hard to make this better between us. I miss you, my family. I can't say that it doesn't eat me up inside, it does but I'm going to try." Thomas comes back with a half bottle of bourbon my dad's favorite.
Handing us our glasses, Thomas pours each of us a shot before setting the bottle down on the desk.
"To Dad!" Putting my glass in the air, Grey follows, Thomas does what we do. "To Dad!" We all say as one voice.
Bridges are mending slightly, I'm able to control my rage somewhat for my mother's sake. There are times that I can't control my words to Grey, I feel bad for saying them apologizing after only to say something worse the next time. It's time for me to leave when I feel the need once again to hit him. My fault, I have this sick obsession with knowing every detail of what happened between them.
He doesn't leave anything out, his words have me falling deep inside my own heartache. With the revelation of his words, I come to the realization she really never cares for her mate. She never thought I was important enough to wait for. That I wasn't worthy enough for her. She gave her purest self to someone who doesn't matter in the process betraying her mate that could have loved her more than the moon loves her children.
It's time to go, Peter's waiting by his car. My mother hugging me tight to her chest. Hugging each one of my brothers, kissing my mother's cheek with a promise of coming back soon. Closing the door, we drive away from them, they're waving their hand's goodbye, I give a little wave as well. It's a sad day for me.
"Fin, you're sure you want to come back with me."
"I'm sure Peter."
"Then I want you as my Beta, Fin. Not now but when you're ready. I want you to stand on my left." Looking out the window, watching the pine trees blur into a long line of brown and green. I contemplate his offer.
"I just don't know Peter." He doesn't push the conversation anymore instead we drive in silence back to his pack away from my own.
There are several pack members waiting for Peter when we return. He greets them, touching their shoulders, a smile on his face. He floats through the crowd, touching every single on of them, making them feel important. I can see how they eye him, with great respect. He is loved unconditionally by them all. He's never second guessed or challenged, all his Beta's have a deep god-like admiration for him. A leader just like my father who I look up to and respect in his own way.
The seasons start to roll from one to the other, I make good on my promise visiting my mother at least once every few months. My relationship with Thomas is getting better. Grey and I will never be the same, ever.
We're hosting a get together with the Eastern Pack, a fresh crop of females are sent our way, looking for their mates. I like to be the first to welcome the females, sniffing each one, seeing who I can send back to Victoria.
Sally is beside me, hand on my back. She never asks more of me, happy with what I give her. Once out of the cars, I direct them to the back, a party is set up. A big Beta from the Eastern Pack leads them on their way, a few females glance my way but not in the way I want. Deep disgust etched in their faces, eyes rolling over my body with sneers on their lips. Bristling slightly towards them, I show teeth their way which has them snickering to each other at my expense. A scent so memorable wraps around my body. I will never forget what she smells like Victoria. It's as if she's here with them. My body shakes slightly from it, it's hard to concentrate on anything else except breathing her into me.
A female approaches me with two braids that are tight against her hair, slowly with a crooked smile on her face, while her eyes travel up and down my body. Standing a little straighter puffed out with the way she's admiring me, I give her an up and down as well.
"Fin. I have a message for you." She smells just like Victoria. I can't even hide the way my body naturally responds to it. A pull so powerfully towards this female who smells so fresh just after a rain storm. Pulling her into my arms without my brain thinking twice about it. I inhale her neck deeply, pressing my nose against her skin that is saturated in Victoria's female musk. Canines elongating without my consent, my nature trying to surge forward.
"Victoria says hello." This female then kisses my lips, gliding her tongue along my closed mouth. I can taste Victoria on this females mouth. It's as if she just finished devouring her and now she's giving me a giant taste of what my mates spread legs taste like. That's when I hear all the females from the Eastern Pack start to laugh at me, they are laughing at me. Shoving this disgusting piece of filth away hard, turning my back I decide I won't be attending this party after all.
I can't get the smell off my lips no matter how hard I wash my face. All I smell is Victoria, her bodies natural smell. I'm so turned on at the moment yet so repulsed, my mind and body battling inside myself. The wolf in me savors her flavor, nothing to him has tasted better...nothing compares to her.
Sitting on the back porch observing from far away, Lana the Western Packs healer comes to me.
"Why aren't you at the party?' She questions out.
"I don't feel like going." Arms crossing over my chest, her smell lingering on my skin that I can't get off.
"I'm surprised, usually you like to greet as many female wolves from the Eastern Pack as you can. Has something changed?"
"Lana, why ask a question when you already know the answer." She starts laughing to herself.
"Finian you're getting better at figuring me out."
"Lana I don't really like you."
"Good."
"Go, I want to be alone" Looking straight ahead, trying to ignore her.
"My company here still means you're all alone. You're just too stupid to realize it." I really hate this female who tries to get inside my head constantly.
"You know something Fin, I was trained by Victoria's mother. She was a healer, one of the greatest to have ever live...she was the moon herself. Pure, respected, loved...she once said to me that I was important to her daughter, that one day I would make a difference in her life. She sent me away from the Eastern Pack once she started to weaken because of her pregnancy. That future of hers sucking the life out of her slowly." Watching Lana she wipes away a stray tear from her eye.
"Why are you telling me this? I don't care."
"Stop lying to yourself Finian." It comes out harsh like she's scolding me.
Getting up off the chair, I walk away from her not interested in anything else she says.
"Running, that's all you do Finian. Run from everything, soon, very soon you won't be able to run anymore. The moon has a way of getting you back on the path you were destined for." Her voice calling after me....as I walk away.