[an:/] Hi guys! I hope you don't think I take too much time to update (i know i do ugh) but i do my best to update when i reach the goal on the previosu chapters, but sometimes i don't feel like writing so it's hard to do something good and there's school... also i like to give you big chapters , as you can see :)
I'll ask something, kind of important, at the end so make sure to read it!
42 VOTES AND 20 COMMENTS for the next one. And i don't have school the next three days so i'll be able to write, so if you give me that quickly, i'll be able to update Wednesday.
And finally , shout out to larrystylinsonrealmofo on tumblr, bc she's a cutie!!!
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The kiss is slow and Harry traces the lines from my face with his thumb and I think it’s just the most lovable thing he could do now. It makes me feel more and makes me want to know more about this feeling. I wanted to keep going but Harry pulls away as quick as our lips connected.
“I just forgot…!” he says suddenly, he had to screw the moment. “Stay here, I’ll be back soon!” he stands up from the bank and I stay frozen looking at him running away. He’s so freaking weird, I mean we just kissed and just like that he pulls away and disappears, leaving me confused and with the words I wanted to say stuck on my throat.
I’m not sure about what I was going to say when we eventually pulled away, but I wanted to say something… something that could have meaning for him, because this was so special and I don’t know what made me change my mind. Just four weeks ago I was treating him like shit and thinking about fifty ways to kill him and one of them included while he was sleeping or in the shower, and now I just said to myself that I see him more than a friend. And fuck, I always said to myself that this would never happen…
“At least, do you feel something for him?”
“I…”
“And don’t answer that you don’t know Louis, a person knows this kind of things. The only problem here is that you can’t admit it to yourself.”
She was right, the only problem here was that I always told myself that this would be impossible so reality didn’t hit me, so maybe if I kept denying, this day would never come. But I let myself losing on him and forgot about that. I still don’t know if it’s a good thing or not.
I put my hands on the pockets from my jacket to keep them warm, and feel a thing on the right one. Harry’s present. Almost forgot about it. I have to give him that. I hope he likes it… I think it’s nothing special but I didn’t find something that could be as special as I thought this one would be. I was so excited to find a present to him when I went out with Gemma, that even she noticed it.
“Sorry!” Harry says, breaking my thoughts. He might have taken more time than it seems.
I look up at him. He’s trying to catch his breath with his hands on his knees and he has a bag with him. “It’s fine… I think!” I tilt my head looking at him and then he sits next to me again.
“Here,” he hands me the bag with a smile that reaches ear to ear. “hope you like it”
“What is it?” I grab it and look at him
“Your present, of course. It’s two in one if you don’t mind.”
“I thought my present was the ticket and… this,” I point around, trying to make myself clear. I really thought he wouldn’t buy me anything this year. I don’t even remember the day he went out so he could buy this. And everything he has done for me would be enough
“Oh, it also can be, but I wanted to give you that anyway.” He says still smiling and it’s contagious. “C’mon open it!”
From the shape of the package I can tell that is a book. I quickly unwrap it and when I see the blue cover my eyes shine and my mouth falls open “Holy shit, Harry!” I look at him and at the book at time, surprised.
“Did you like it?” by the look and grin he’s giving me, he knows too damn well that I did, I did like it.
“I fucking loved it, oh my god.” I can’t believe he remembered
-
“Wouldn’t it be the same if you read it online?” Harry asks, he doesn’t understand
“Harry, the fault in our stars is a book that deserves my full attention and I have to feel the book in my hands.” I look up at him from the book I am currently reading
“It’s the same thing” he rolls his eyes
“A book needs to be felt! I need to feel the emotions that it has to offer me.” I say in the softest tone I can manage to make
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard” it might be, but it’s what I always say.
“You’re stupid.” I sigh and look at the book again. Why do I even waste time talking about this with him? And why do he keeps coming with me to library if he just stays next to me playing on his phone?!
“Okay. But why don’t you buy it then?” another thing he doesn’t understand
“I have to save money, I can’t buy these things now. Besides I tried to look for it on the closest libraries but it’s nowhere to be seen.” I say and he doesn’t say anything else. I wish I could buy that book. I already know the plot and how well people talk about it and how emotional they felt after reading it. But it’s frustrating that I can’t find it now, it’s not even for the money though.
“Is it that important to you?” he asks some minutes later. I look at him and he’s looking carefully back at me.
“Yeah, it is…” I sigh, but for now I have to forget about that purchase. I don’t even have time to read it at the moment.
-
“How? How did you find it?” I ask still in shock
“I have my contacts,” he winks at me and I don’t even want to know more. I put the book at the side and jump to his lap to hug him by his neck
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I say repeatedly hugging him tightly. He giggles and wraps his arms around my waist.
“You’re welcome babe.” Babe, he doesn’t call me that in ages and for the first time it sounds so well in my ears. I pull away and I don’t know why but I feel emotional. Not in the way that makes me burst into tears, just on the inside, I’m crying with happiness on the inside. I don’t understand this, but the fact that he gave to the work of looking for this, the fact that he remembered, the way he’s just being so gentle and kind to me… I could have been spending this day alone in the dorm, but I’m here with Harry. “What’s wrong?” He looks at me concerned. I think I’m just too into my thoughts for my soul being present right now. I didn’t even move from Harry’s lap
“Nothing.” I say right away, taking my hands from around his neck and resting them on his chest and he looks closer at me “I’m just happy.” I smile and I think it’s enough for him to do the same and stop worrying. “Happy for being here with you!”
“I am too” his smile is just the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
My mind makes a click and I take the package from my pocket to hand him it “Here,” he looks at it for some seconds and then he grabs it and I don’t feel his hand rested on my tight anymore “at first I thought this would be a good idea but after what you gave me I feel like this is shitty”
“Don’t say it,” he looks better at the small box and then opens it carefully. He’s being so gentle with it, almost like he’s afraid that it’s going to break into pieces. When he looks at the inside and takes the necklace from the box, he spends some time examining it, as if he’s trying to understand. He looks surprised, or admired, or is it just a frown? I honestly don’t understand his expression but I bet he doesn’t like it.
“It’s like my tattoo, you see?” I roll up the sleeves and point at it so he takes his eyes from the necklace and looks at my arm. “You don’t like it? It’s too cheesy isn’t it? I knew it!” I beginning to panic “But Gemma said you liked these kind of things and I also knew you had some necklaces so I had this idea, but if you don’t like-“
“Lou!” he might have shouted my name, but I think I’m talking too loud and quickly to pay attention to him so easily. “Lou, calm down,” he chuckles and I take a deep breath. “Jeez, I loved it!” he smiles and his voice sounds happy “I really loved it, I mean, it makes me feel… special!” he slowly leans over to me but I notice he’s hesitating because he moves from my lips to my cheek and places there a soft kiss. “From now on,” he puts the necklace around his neck “I’ll always be using it.” He grins. “Thank you so much!”
“I-It’s fine.” It seems like a big weight got out from my shoulders. I was wondering if he’d like it or not, and after the present he gave me I feel like this is nothing. But they say that what counts is the intention, right? And that necklace has so much meaning, not only because of my tattoo, but how I felt when I bought it and the moment I gave to him.
“So I don’t need to feel jealous about this morning?” I raise my eyebrow “You and my sister... You two hang out this morning because of this?”
“Yeah…” I admit, somehow flushed and he chuckles, picking my nose.
“Well at least this time you gave me something that it wasn’t already mine”
He laughs and I look widely at him “You knew?”
“Do you think I’m that stupid?” he plays mad but laughs right away “I just didn’t want you to feel bad.”
“I wouldn’t feel…” I joke
“I know” he laughs. The way I acted around him that time, compared to how I am acting this days is completely different.
~*~
I open my eyes and I’m faced with the familiar green eyes. “Good morning” Harry smiles and I feel his hand rested above my waist, pulling me even closer to his warm chest. I don’t even get uncomfortable anymore by knowing that he’s probably awake for a while but he just took the opportunity to look at me. I already told him that is creepy and I don’t like it, but it’s useless. It’s like talking to a wall.
“Morning!” I answer lazily, unable to stretch myself.
We went late to bed last night. We ended up taking another walk and I might have allowed Harry to interlace our hands together. The feeling was good, I don’t know what it is to feel like home but I’m almost sure that it’s what I felt the whole night. When we arrived home we stayed in the kitchen, drinking tea and eating cake. The candle that was illuminating the kitchen was the same that we used to sing me happy birthday. Well, just Harry sang, and it was in a whisper. I just wanted to laugh because it was stupid… but at the same time it was cute and I just couldn’t stop smiling. By the moment we went upstairs and I sat on Harry’s bed, was the moment I fell asleep so I can’t even remember the conversation we had.
“Merry Christmas!” he whispers and I hum in response. I’m still sleepy so I’m half awake, half asleep. He already knows that I don’t function by this time in the morning, so he understands. And he’s very lucky that I am not being grumpy… and I’m very surprised that I don’t act like that for a long time. Usually I’d shout at him for waking me up, for hearing his voice so early in the morning; but we’ve been sleeping in the same bed since the day I came to this house and I don’t feel the need of doing that.
I start feeling him playing with my hair and I’m so relaxed and warm that don’t even bother to move away to stop him. His body is so warm and soft… it makes me want to know all the details of it, to explore him… WOAH calm down Louis, you’re going too far.
I hear him chuckling “Are you enjoying it?” when I hear it, it’s like I wake up completely.
“What?” I look up at him and I just realise that I’m picking him in the chest with my fingertips, when I stop it.
“You just moaned Louis!” I need to stop this.
“What?” I say in a louder tone. Why am I not moving away? Why am I not acting like I used to?
He pulls my face closer to him by my chin “I’d kiss you…” he says in a hoarse tone. Fuck. “but you have bad morning breath!” he says and leaves the bed, with my mouth half open in indignation
“What?” it’s the third time in a row that I’m saying this. He just laughs “You asshole,” I sit up looking at him dressing himself. He’s mocking me. “and who said I wanted you to kiss me?” I cross my arms in my chest. I’m with one of his sweaters and in my underwear, so I suppose he dressed me last night after I fell asleep.
“Don’t fuck with me, I know you wanted.” He teases
“Excuse me? I didn’t.” the problem is, I think I’m lying
“Your body said the otherwise.” He looks at me with a smirk and winks. Fucking winks.
“Bastard.” I grit out
“Stop grumbling and get your ass up from my bed. We’ve a lot to do before my family arrives.” Right, Harry’s family…
“Lou?” his tone turns back to normal when I stay in the same place playing with the sheets. I hear him coming back to my side and sits next to me “Hey, babe?” He rests his hand on my shoulder; my heart is beating so fast…
“Isn’t this going to be weird?” I ask looking up at him.
He knows what I’m talking about. “No… no it won’t,” he squeezes my shoulder “don’t think too much about this. It’s going to be all right. My family is not creepy” he laughs a little but then stops right away “except my aunt Janie. She’s a bit snob and… hum… don’t worry I know how to deal with her.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”
He sighs “Just… just remind yourself that I’m going to be always next to you.”
~*~
And he was. He is. I always overreact in this situations, but I was scared and wondering about what his family could think about me. But it was all fine. His grandparents arrived around seven and I must say, Anne’s mother is just the kindest and sweetest person I’ve ever met. She was so nice with me and well she finds me cute which made Harry laugh and I didn’t get the reason why. Then Robin’s brother arrived with his wife and their son, who is only two years younger from me and Harry, and finally Harry’s aunt with her six years old daughter who is making me and Harry company since we finished dinner. I thought it would be strange and that I’d feel really out of place, but at the end, it went pretty well. Everyone is so alive, funny and talkative, just the way Harry is and I can see how happy he’s in these occasions.
“So your Christmas is always like this?” I ask Harry. We’re sat on the couch, while his cousin, Charlotte is between us two. Everyone else is chatting and I think Gemma and Eric, Robin’s brother’s son, are preparing themselves to play karaoke.
“Pretty much, yes.” He answers looking back at me “I mean… it just gotten this joyful after my mom started with Robin. There was a year when we didn’t have Christmas because of all the things that were going around.” He stops for some seconds “My aunt got divorced as well, while Charlotte had only months.” The girl looks up at him, stopping playing with her doll, probably by hearing her name “She started saying shi-bad things,” he corrects himself looking at the kid. She’s only six I don’t think she’ll understand. “to my mom. That she warned her that marriage doesn’t work, she was always deluded by thinking her life was perfect and they got in a fight. I don’t really know the details about it, it was always Gemma who have told me this and there were things she omitted…” I think it was better for little Harry not knowing about all the bad stuff his family was going through. Even now I see how bad he feels for talking about this, but somehow I feel grateful that he’s sharing it with me.
“But things do really get better after all, hum?”
“It seems so.” He gives his best to smile again “Thanks.”
I look at him confused “For what?”
“Hearing me talking about my problems. I feel like you haven’t done anything else except that.”
“You know it’s not true. And you heard about mines too, so it’s fair.” He gives me a small smile and nods.
“We knew each other for a year and didn’t know this things about each other…” he’s right
“I think we never bothered to know them…” our friendship was too weird for that, and I never thought Harry and I would reach this point, but I actually feel good that he now knows all of this. I like to know that I’ve someone who cares for me like he cares and someone who listens to me with such concern and attention. He’s so special and I never realised it.
“I think you’re right...” he says and I don’t know what got in our minds, but for the first time we explore our gaze for a moment and I don’t feel weird or uncomfortable. It feels needed.
But is soon interrupted by a tiny voice “Lewis?” Charlotte pulls the sleeve from my shirt so I can give attention to her and Harry chuckles probably by the name she called me
“It’s Louis, sweetheart!” I say in a soft tone, looking at the girl. She’s gorgeous. Her hair seems to be so thin and it’s light brunette, almost blonde, her eyes are big and they’re a mixture of green and blue and her skin is very pail. She’s so small between us two that looks younger than six.
She nods but I know she won’t get it right the next time as well “Can you hold my doll?” she asks. But it’s not really a question because she hands me the doll straight away not allowing me to say a word. “Play with me, I’m bored!”
“I-I don’t-“
“I’m afraid Louis doesn’t know how to play with you, Charlotte” Harry interrupts, joking and I give him a glower
“Play you then.” She grabs the doll from my hands and gives to Harry this time. He looks at the toy widely and by his face I know he doesn’t know what to do either
“Well, well, well!” I raise my eyebrow and he gives me a grimace and then the little girl pouts. “Do you even know how to deal with kids?” I laugh.
“More or less.” He shrugs. I may not know what to do when I have a doll in my hands, but I know how to deal with kids. I had to take care of my sisters when I was younger so.
“You never play with me Harry.” Charlotte pouts again and it’s actually amusing to see how she looks at Harry.
“You could have chosen a better cousin, Lottie.” I chuckle but then realize the name I just called the girl
“Lottie?” Harry frowns and the girl looks at me confused, but somehow she offers me a smile which makes me feel better but not enough to stop myself to look down at my lap and feeling the strange and unwelcome emptiness on my chest.
“I’m sorry.” I look up and force a smile “Charlotte.” I correct myself “I think it just came out.” I sigh.
“Lou?” He asks concerned. I was never good at hiding these kind of things and even if I could, Harry would notice that something was wrong anyway. “What’s wrong?” He puts the girl in his lap to be closer to me and I feel Charlotte pulling the sleeve from my shirt once again.
“It’s nothing.” My voice cracks
“Are you crying?” I hear the tiny and sweet voice
“No, I’m not sweetie” I look at Charlotte and give her a small smile to make sure is okay and hoping that Harry sees it too.
“Louis…” Harry makes me look at him and his green eyes show sadness and concern.
I sight deeply “It’s nothing, really… But one of my sisters was named Charlotte too and we used to call her Lottie. I don’t know why this came up now but it made me remind my family and wondering what they’re doing right now. If they’re okay…”
“Go talk to your family, Louis!” The little girl says and I chuckle, pecking her cheek.
“It’s not that easy, Charlotte.”
“But if you’re sad you should talk to them.” She says innocently “Harry doesn’t want to see you sad and I don’t want that too.” I smile with her words, her little voice makes everything all right.
“Thank you sweetie.” I smile, now truly
“You know that she’s right Louis.” Harry speaks finally and I give my attention to him “You never thought about that? Calling them? Visiting them?”
“I did.” Especially when the lack of them is stronger, especially when I’m alone and especially since I arrived here. I see how happy Harry is with his family and it makes me think if I could feel like that with mine, how is that feeling… would I ever feel like that, if I kept contact with them? “But it was me who chose to leave.” And that’s the only reason I can say at the moment.
“But you could visit them, even talk to them. I know they’d be happy to see you.”
“They never cared Harry…” he gives me a sad look and even if he still has something to say he chooses not to. Instead he takes my hand and squeezes it and I look at the gesture.
“Well, you can call me Lottie,” Charlotte says suddenly “and I’ll call you Lou.” I look at her and she smiles “And let’s imagine that we’re a family tonight.” She suggests happily. “We can be all be brothers and sister” Harry laughs a little
“It seems okay” I say now feeling better. Right now she reminds me Harry. Her eyes are shining and her smile is big and bright.
“Or…” she makes a thoughtful look “You and Harry can marry and I’ll be your daughter. Is that okay too?” She asks still with a smile and I shock, looking widely at her while Harry just laughs.
“I don’t know if that’s possible, Charlotte.” I say, composing myself
“Yes it is!” she says putting his hand in front of me as if she’s making me shut up. “Now let’s see.” She looks at Harry with the same thoughtful face that she made previously “I’ll call you mommy and Louis daddy!” Harry laughs loudly this time and I shake my head. The girl seems to be indifferent from the fact of having two dads. Is that bad? Well I don’t think so, but if everyone was like this little girl, everyone would be treated the same way. “See, you have a family now Lou!”
I smile at her and don’t contain myself to give her a quick hug “Thank you Lottie.”
Harry gets even closer to me, making the girl sit in both of our legs and he puts his arm around my shoulders “So tell me, husband, what are your plans for tonight?” He smirks
“Harry!” I shout but Lottie seems not to understand what he said so she laughs along Harry. “You’re sick.”
“We’re married, you can’t say that.” He keeps smirking and then leans over to kiss my cheek. I sure am blushing especially because Lottie starts clapping her hands with a grin in his face. She’s really cute.
“I see that the party is here!” Anne appears with her sister beside her. I can’t believe that these two women are siblings, they’re so different and not only from appearance. Mrs Janie has her hair, for what it seems to be, dyed dark red. Her eyes are almost the same colour as her daughter while Anne’s are darker, she is also younger than Anne but their face features are completely different. And while Anne always wears a smile, this woman wears a frown.
Harry was right when he told she’s kinda snob but that’s not only, she seems a bit rude as if she was mad with the world all the time, I’m actually surprised that her daughter didn’t lose the glow. I didn’t see her laughing, smiling or even talking normally like the other people are doing since the night begun.
“Lou and Harry are playing with me” Lottie says. I hope she doesn’t end up like her mother but more like her aunt
“That’s great honey” Anne smiles, walking closer towards us “And what are you playing at?”
“Lou was sad so Harry and I gave him a family. So now they’re married and my parents.” She smiles, once again innocently.
“That’s so sweet.” Anne smiles to all the three of us
“Excuse me?” Her sister walks beside her and her voice doesn’t seem happy. Well, it sounds the same basically.
“Don’t worry mommy, it’s just for tonight. Then I’ll be back to be yours” she smiles widely. I don’t know how she deals with her mother and how her mother deals with her. The little girl is so happy, I bet they live on their own so I can’t understand how she is so alive upon life. It’s probably the age.
I notice how tense Harry gets next to me when his aunt approaches. “That’s impossible to happen Charlotte!” the woman almost shouts
“Janie, do not start. They’re only playing.” Unlike Anne who is talking softly and calmly
“It’s not impossible mommy. Harry and Louis are in love.” Oh shit.
Harry gets even tenser by my side and when I look at him, he keeps looking at her mother, almost asking for help. I don’t know why all of this, but I know something is going wrong. “Charlotte!” this time she really shouts making the girl jumping in our lap “You’re going to the table with me. This boys are already putting things in your head.” She tries to grab Lottie’s hand but she pulls away her mother’s touch
“Janie, stop this.” Anne says to the angry woman. I don’t know what’s up with all of this but I can’t say anything, I can’t even move.
“But they are-“ she tries to speak but then I see Harry standing up from the sofa
“There is no need to make this.” His voice is calm, but he doesn’t sound like he normally does. When he turns around I see his firm expression. I might know what he’s thinking and feeling right now. “C’mon Charlotte, let’s go to the table all together.” He says and raises his hand so the girl can grab it. She does, but also makes sure I grab the other one so I can follow them together.
~*~
After that episode the night went normally, like anything have happened. Harry seemed okay and he was acting as he always does with me and with everyone else. But I noticed how he made his best to avoid conversations between his aunt, so he was as far as possible from her.
Apart from that, I loved the night and I actually felt really happy. Harry was always by my side, as promised but Lottie didn’t leave us either. I even had the opportunity to know and talk better with Eric. He’s a cool guy and for what it seems Harry thinks the same, so even if they aren’t relatives, they see each other as friends. And for what I saw and Harry told me Gemma and him get along really well so I think that’s one of the reasons that made Harry see him as a good friend as he sees.
It was half past one in the morning when everyone went home. Lottie said she wants to see me again and to be fair, I want to see that little girl again as well. I hope that when she grows up, will be as lively as she is now.
So it’s now 2am and I’m already laid down in Harry’s bed while he’s just preparing himself. I don’t know if by now Anne noticed that I’m sleeping in Harry’s room, but a part of me hopes not.
I keep my hands under my head and look at the ceiling, waiting for Harry to warm up the other side of the bed. “Feeling all right there?” I hear his voice and I look at the side. He’s only in boxers so I quickly turn my head away again. Of course he laughs a little, but I can’t allow myself to look at him when he’s that way, or I don’t know…
“Erm, y-yeah.” I answer, and I am actually. “I’m great.” I say firmer now.
“Good then.” I hear him getting closer and closer, till I feel the bed moving while he lays down next to me. When I look at the side once again, to look at him, he’s in the same position as me and I wonder what he’s thinking about.
“Thank you.” It’s enough to stop whatever the thoughts he was having, to look at me. “Thank you for everything…” I look away “If it wasn’t you I’d be on campus, depressing. Indeed, bringing me here wasn’t the only thing you did to me that I need to thank you for. You’re amazing with me and-“ I’m interrupted with the weight of his body on top of mine. He holds my face in both of his hands and without further delay kisses me. I hold my breath without realising due the simple fact of being so connected to him this way. How our lips are touching, how he’s kissing and touching me, how I can feel the warmth of his body and how… how I am enjoying this.
I pass my hands up and down his bare back and, fuck, I hate him for being only in boxers. I have to complain at him about it, it’s fucking freezing, I know he does this to tease me; although his skin is warmer compared to my hands. I love the way he caresses my face with his thumbs and how our bodies react to one other touch. This is still weird, still not right… but I don’t want to stop, especially now.
It’s our longer kiss and this time, for the first time, I open my mouth, allowing his tongue to enter and it’s when I feel this even more weird and wrong. Do I want to stop now? No. Fuck, no.
He explores my mouth, our tongues move in sync while he moves his hands down my body and puts them under my shirt and fuck this is hot. The way he touches my skin is irresistible so I sink my fingers in his hair and I realise how much I wanted to do this for ages. I never thought I could react this way at him.
“Lou…” he moans and I feel the vibration going down my throat so I can’t contain myself of moaning along. I open my eyes and it’s like he feels mines on his because he opens them as well and we stay with our lips lightly brushing, looking at each other. I can examine him now. His face his flushed and his hair is a mess. I bet I look the same, but with the different that he looks freaking hot. I hate this guy. Why does he has to look good in every situation?
But just like any other, he acts like a dork. He has pulled away so he can laugh, but I still feel his warm breathe on my lips. I shake my head, biting my lip and can’t contain myself from laughing as well. “I don’t know why we’re laughing.” I comment but don’t stop, and so doesn’t him.
“I don’t know either.” He laughs, sitting up, but still on top of me, with his legs parted next to my tights and with his hands rested on my chest.
“You tosser.” I say pushing him away from my lap, making him fall on the mattress, although, being the clumsy he is, ends up falling into the floor with a squeal.
“I could have died!” he plays mad and I move from my place to look down from the bed at him, laughing. “Stop joking, this is serious”
“You didn’t die Harry,” I shake my head, chuckling “now get your ass to the bed.” And help him getting up
“You hate me.” he says laying down
“I do.” I don’t.
“That’s supposed to be the time when you say the otherwise, but okay.”
“Oops.” I laugh while he pouts. We stay in silence now, calming ourselves down and recovering our breath, till I finally decide to crawl to his side and wrap my arms around his body, resting my head on his shoulder. He seems surprised with it but as soon as I can tell, he’s wrapping his arms around mine as well, holding me. “So what’s up with your aunt?” I decide to bring up the subject that was hovering my head since the incident happened. He doesn’t answer and I start to wonder if it was a good idea bringing this up “Sorry,” I sigh and look up to see his face, but he doesn’t look back at me “you don’t wanna talk…” I infer.
“I don’t understand,” he’s mad, I can tell he’s mad, but his voice doesn’t show it, only his face. “Charlotte has no problem with two guys being together and she’s six! Six years old, dammit! While that woman has nearly forty and can’t deal with the fact that has a gay nephew.”
I don’t move from our position, since he doesn’t too. But I look at him in surprise “You’re gay?”
He looks at me, frowning as if I just said the most stupid things in the world “I’m not straight for sure, am I Louis?” he laughs a little now
“Right.” I look away “So your family knows?”
“Who needs to know, knows.” It’s his answer “She was the only one who had problems with it. I can’t understand her, she’s always mad with the world… and the way she talks with me, seems to be her way to get away with her pain.”
“Harry…”
“It’s true. I feel sorry for little Charlotte. She’s such a good girl, always smiling and playing around but I think when she grows up, she’s going to be like her mother.”
“God, I hope not.”
“I know right? But it’s only her and Janie… and I bet she’s just like this around us, because she can’t be herself around her own mother.” He makes a pause “It makes me feel sad…”
“Don’t,” I look at him and take his face in my hands, making him look at me. I don’t know the right words to tell him now and it’s frustrating, but I need to say something. “Harry don’t be sad because of this. I know it must be hard but you already have so many people who support you… do you think you need more?”
“She’s my mother’s sister…” he whispers
“I know… however you know her, better than me for sure, but I can tell already that is not her who will make you happy. Is you who will build your happiness, even if you didn’t have anyone to support you in this, it still would be you so there is no difference. It doesn’t matter.” I want to say that she doesn’t matter, but it wouldn’t be right. I think that woman is a lost hope and it’s useless for Harry bothering himself with her. “Please…” I just want him to feel all right. I want to make him feeling all right, like he makes me.
He nods “You’re right.” He gives me a small smile and rests his hand above mine “Thank you Louis.” He hugs me. It’s a weird position to give a hug to someone but it’s still… comfortable, so I don’t pull away, instead I respond to the embrace and it’s like this that we fall asleep. My head on his chest, our arms holding each other… I try to think that it’s okay, this is okay. I’m happy like this, so it’s fine, I don’t need to think the otherwise because I like to have Harry by my side this way.
*
[an:/] I was thinking about doing a Character time questions, y'know what that is right? Like you make questions that are supposed to be answered by the characters from the fic. I feel like doing it but idk if there'll be any question... So if i have, at least, 6 questions, i will do it (it doesn't need to be only Harry and Louis). Just write it bellow and i'll make an update with that. I think it'd be funny :)
By the way, here's my social network that i'd be glad if u use it to contact with me (does this sound bad? hahah)
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