Emory Allen's POV
I had a diagnosis on Tanner Dawson.
The dictionary meaning of the word 'Diagnosis' is: the identification of the nature of an illness or other problem by examination of the symptoms.
In simpler terms, a doctor or therapist has the ability to come to an accurate diagnosis once they've examined the symptoms that the patient displays.
I had a diagnosis on Tanner Dawson.
My eyes followed the ceiling fan that was racing above my queen sized bed. It was 6 AM on Wednesday and I needed to start getting ready for work. The duvet was nearly pulled to my chin as I refused to move from the bed. It was too early for the sun to be out and therefore it was too early for me. Despite this truth, I needed to pull my game face on and start the day.
Pushing the heavy blankets off of my body, I rose and maneuvered around the clothing and shoes that were strewn around the hardwood floor. My room was a mess, it always got like this when the school year started. This year was different though, I thought about the girl that was constantly in my head. The silky brown hair that always looked so effortlessly flawless, the matching hazel eyes that reminded me of chestnut, and the perfect tan that shaded her skin. Dammit Emory.
I stepped over a shoe and walked into the master bathroom. I really needed to clean this place. Turning on the shower, I pulled out a towel and began my repetitive morning routine. As I let the water hit my face and shoulders, I thought back to yesterday during 6th period. My eyes were closed as I replayed the look that was deep in the girls eyes; she was broken, fragile and I felt bad for pushing her. I didn't know the depths of her problems, but maybe I shouldn't have questioned her so soon. I guess it really wasn't my fault, I was only doing my job - but for some reason witnessing her freak out and completely lose control was causing me personal pain.
After brushing my teeth and exiting the shower, I went back into my bedroom and found a simple knee length skirt with flowers and a light yellow top to match. I combed my hair and pulled half of it up into a bun allowing the rest to hang loose. Then I finally left the room and went directly to the coffee maker, I readied the machine and leaned against the counter as it brewed. Suddenly Benjamin crawled from his bed and rubbed his spotted body against my leg.
"Hey buddy," I leaned down pressing my palm to his smooth coat. He resembled a spotted cheetah and was honestly the love of my life. As I rubbed him, I remembered Tanner laughing and calling me a nerd for naming him a human name. She didn't know that this cat was much more than a pet to me, looking at him brought back memories that used to cause me pain. Thankfully time had been kind to me and healed the wounds of the past, now Benjamin only brought me joy.
The machine buzzed signaling that the brew was complete. I stood from rubbing the cat and poured the dark roast into my glass mug. It was already 7 and I needed to leave now in order to make it through the morning rush. My apartment was in the heart of Salt Lake City, maybe 30 minutes away from Woodlands. After three years of commuting back and forth everyday, it was beginning to take its toll on me.
I filled Benjamin's food and water before grabbing my purse, car keys and coffee. Taking the elevator down to the parking garage, I walked towards the white Chrysler 200 that sparkled even while under the dim light. Eventually I was driving towards Woodlands - I went over my schedule and realized that I was going to have to sub in for 7th period P.E for the next few weeks. The regular gym teacher had suffered a family crisis and took some time off. When the principal approached me to act as the temporary sub, I was a little confused until I realized why he had chosen me. One day during my first year of working there, I was running late to my boxing class and I decided to change into my gym clothes before leaving the school. The principle caught me at my car and we started chatting about my years of boxing and cycling. So basically it was my fault that he chose me to sub in.
Traffic was light today, I sipped the warm coffee and thought about Tanner again. I really needed to stop thinking about her, it was just really hard when she continued to intrigue me. She was a mystery. A really beautiful mystery. I had tons of students to counsel; many of them came from abusive backgrounds or they were just rebels with no intention of changing. Their cases were all the same, the stories were all the same, and majority of them were easy to help or at least they cooperated. Tanner was different though - she held something dark inside of her. She covered it up by flirting and joking, but if you looked hard enough, you would see the pain. I had managed to catch a glimpse of the pain yesterday, when I brought up her parents. I knew there was a story behind her reaction, something happened to them and that was why she lived with her grandparents. She obviously didn't want me prying in her life but it was my job to help her change, to help her face her demons. In order to do that, I had to know what her demons were and how they had gotten there. I was determined to figure it out, but I needed her to trust me.
After a little while longer, I pulled my Chrysler into the staff parking and immediately headed into the building. Classes wouldn't begin for another half hour but I liked being early to prepare for my first student. The campus ground was slowly filling with people, each of them walking in different directions. I admired Woodlands. When I first started working here, I thought it was a joke. I took the job because it paid exceptionally well and it was close to my home town - but after a year, I was shocked to see how many kids actually transformed. I realized that being a counselor for troubled teens was a serious job, it was the main cause for Woodlands' success. Students came to the school confused, not really sure where they were headed or what they were going to do with their lives... it was my job to help them figure that out and to help them become better people. I loved it.
Once I got inside of my office, I sat down in the leather chair and began scanning my notes for the first student. The number of counselors in Woodlands outnumbered the amount of teachers. It was shocking, but required.
I sat back, listening to the sound beyond my door. These kids were no older than 18, they were just minors. Tanner was a minor. It was wrong for me to be thinking about one of my students so much. It was wrong for me to feel so passionately about her and her emotions, yet I did and I had no idea why. I kept blaming it on the fact that she was obviously in need of my help, but I knew it was more than that. She was beautiful, and different.
My eyebrows creased as I remembered the last words she spoke to me. They were hurtful but I probably deserved them. Asking her personal questions in this environment wasn't going to get me anywhere, I needed to do something different. She didn't trust me, she thought I was just like all the other therapist in the world who didn't give a crap about their patients... I would have to give her time to see that I really did want to help. Maybe if she realized it on her own, she'd open up to me and I wouldn't have to pry the answers out of her.
Curiosity got the best of me and I walked over to my bookshelf to find Tanners file. When I opened it up, I read the names of her grandparents and their phone numbers. I could easily call them; ask them about her past, ask them what happened and why she was really here. That would be wrong, and it would definitely prevent me from gaining her trust. I slammed the binder with the file and placed it back amongst the others. There was a knock on the door when I realized it was already 8 and my first student was here. Opening the door, I smiled warmly at the young man and let him inside so we could talk for an hour about how he had spent a year selling prescription drugs that belonged to his mom, until she caught him and sent him here. I considered him someone that cooperated, he had simply gotten caught up in a rough situation and needed someone to help him get out... but it wasn't hard because he was willing to talk. Unlike Tanner. Dammit Emory, stop thinking about her. This was going to be a very long day.
~~
The day was going by just as slowly as I had predicted.
I was standing outside of my office with my arms crossed, waiting for the girl who had successfully invaded my mind all day. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't show up, yesterday was rough and she most likely hated me for it.
The hallway was filled with sweaty hormonal teenagers and normally I would just wait in my office for a student. But today I wanted to look out for the brunette, make sure she didn't try to ditch... that, and the fact that I secretly liked to know who her friends were. At first she seemed like a reserved person, cold, and antisocial... but I've been seeing her around Gweneth and Thomas. It was obvious that Gwen had a thing for Tanner, but I wasn't quite sure that Tanner felt the same. She was a difficult person to read.
I figured it would be best if I stop trying to pry into her personal life. I wanted her to reveal the truth when she was ready, not force it out of her - she would never truly change if it was forced. So my plan was to lay low, to let her lead the conversations and hopefully realize that I wasn't like every other therapist and that I really did want to help.
"Hello," the sound of her voice pulled me from my thoughts and I stood up straighter, "is anyone in there?" Her hand waved in front of my face and she had that cocky grin pressed against her perfect lips that always made me feel a little weird.
I opened the door to my office while reminding myself that I was her teacher and that she was a minor. I couldn't keep having these thoughts about my seventeen year old student, it was creepy and illegal. I watched as she took the seat across from my desk - she was dressed in dark skinny jeans with a white and black tee shirt. Her silky hair was parted at the side and continuously caught the light from the window, her hazel eyes were staring straight ahead, refusing to look at me as I sat down in my own chair. She didn't want to look at me, that was understandable.
"You're upset," my blue eyes found her hazels but she refused to make eye contact, her mouth never opened to respond so I continued. "Look, I wanted to apologize about yesterday, it was way too soon to be asking personal questions... so, I'm sorry."
This seemed to shock her, she shifted in the plastic chair, finally allowing her eyes to meet mine and I almost wanted to look away. There was an electrifying pulse that ran through my body whenever the golden irises made contact with my own, it wasn't supposed to be a good thing, but it sure as hell felt good. I needed to control myself, these feelings that I had were wrong and I couldn't allow them to cloud my judgment as a professional.
We held that eye contact for a few more moments, my heart beating faster with every second that passed. I could tell she was trying to read me, to see if my apology was sincere.
Finally she relaxed, "You're confusing."
For some reason her words made me relieved. I was glad that she didn't find me boring, but I was also confused about her as well. "How am I confusing?"
She didn't take very long to answer, like she had put thought into this response before our session. "One minute you're being nice and real, then the next you're pissing me off and acting bitchy."
"When have I ever been bitchy to you?" I didn't recall ever being a bitch towards her, but maybe I had unintentionally.
Her eyes rolled and she leaned back, running a hand through her hair, "Yesterday for example... one minute you're telling me about your cat and being all 'I'm a hot therapist nerd', then suddenly you start asking about shit that you know I don't want to talk about! It's bitchy and confusing."
I sighed, how had I managed to mess this girl up within three days? "Okay, fine, I won't push you to answer any questions just yet."
"Don't you think you should tell me stuff about you? 'Cause, you wanna know everything about me, but I don't even know a single thing about you." She had that knowing smirk on her face, the one that told me she was flirting.
I almost scolded her, but then realized it would be wrong to punish her for making me feel something that I shouldn't be feeling towards a student. Plus, I wanted her to feel comfortable with me and not think of me as a bitch. That didn't mean that I would just forget all the rules, but I would try to be less of a therapist and more of my regular self. It seemed like that was what it would take to get her to open up. "You know my first name, and that's more than a lot of my other students can say."
"Well then your other students are blind idiots," she pointed up above my head at the diploma on the wall, "cause your name's right there... Emory Allen."
I laughed, "Fine, but if I tell you about me then you have to return the favor."
She wiggled her eyebrows, "What kind of return are you looking for, Emory?"
A lump was beginning to form in my throat, the sound of my name on her lips was overwhelming, especially when it was laced in seduction. "Call me Ms. Allen, and stop trying to flirt with me."
"There's that bitchiness." Her arms crossed over her chest.
This was a lot harder than I had planned, "Look, I want to help you, and I realize that you don't like it when I'm acting all therapisty... so I'm trying to be normal and have a regular conversation with you, but when you're constantly flirting with me, it's difficult."
She seemed to understand as I watched her eyes glance at the clock on the wall. We still had another ten minutes together, "So what you're saying is, you'll stop acting like a therapist if I stop flirting with you?"
That wasn't exactly what I was going for, but it sounded like a fair enough deal. I honestly didn't think it was possible for me to completely stop acting like a therapist though. It was embedded inside of me, after years of going to school to learn how to read and understand people, it would be hard for me to just stop. I would try though, if that's what it was going to take in order for me to gain the truth and help her move past it. "Yes, that's what I'm saying."
A laugh escaped her pinkish lips, "Sorry but, flirting is like second nature to me, it's not just something I can turn on and off. When I see a hot girl, the words just come out..."
Well that was interesting, I had found out something new already. I wasn't shocked to find out that Tanner Dawson was a huge flirt, I already knew that. I was shocked that she had just openly admitted that information without me having to ask first. Maybe this idea would work after all. Maybe losing my therapist attitude would truly benefit these guidance sessions with her. I prayed it would, but somehow I didn't think that was the case. Just as fast as my hopes had risen, they fell. It only took one question about her parents to make her freak and lose control. So what had possessed me to believe that she would ever willingly tell me the truth? I was beginning to second guess this deal but I knew it was too late to turn back. She glanced at the clock again, this time she stood from the plastic chair. "Do you think it's going to be easy for me to stop being the therapist that I am? Absolutely not, but I'm willing to try, as long as you are willing to try and stop flirting with me?"
The bell rang and she backed towards the door, "Yeah, yeah... I'll try to keep my flirtatious comments to a minimum, as long as you keep your questions about me and my past to a nonexistent zero." The door slammed before I could object. That wasn't the deal I was going for and I was almost certain that I wouldn't be able to keep it.