A few weeks passed leaving February and leading us into the second Tuesday in March. Matthew and I were getting closer and closer, if it's even possible I think I am falling even deeper and uncontrollably in love with him. He was still able to sneak into my room at night going unnoticed. I felt bad breaking my parent's rules, but it was unavoidable. We spent most of our time together both in and out of school. Although I still spend time with my friends, Zac seemed to have squirmed his way back in to my annoyance. Matthew and I spend most of our lunch times with my friends, it's spending time with everyone at once, it kind of levels things out on an even keel. I am ditching neither for the other, rather I am combining the two. The tension between Matthew and Zac is clearly visible, although it has become part of the furniture now so no one really takes any notice of it anymore. I speak to Zac as little as possible, so basically only when he speaks to me.
We have all went to the movies and bowling, it was nice being surrounded by people. Once, being the klutz that I am I accidently dropped a bowling ball on Zac's foot. Don't get me wrong, it felt good it was like a way of getting back at him for the suffering he had been causing me. I got the worst score possible, I don't think I could have aimed worse if I tried. It was fun in one way, as I got to hang out with my friends. In another way, it's bad when Matthew isn't always there, I still hate being away from him.
Each kiss still feels like the first, out of this world and it takes my breath away. He is still concerned about his self-control and hurting me and I must reassure him every time that he won't, but he still isn't convinced. I am so attached to Matthew now, I can't live without him in my life. Without him I wouldn't survive in this world, he is my world.
However, there are barriers up ahead, his family and Satan and whatever else comes our way. Even though I am happy when we are together I always seem to have that nagging feeling in the back of my head that what we have may not last forever. I wince every time I have a thought like that because it's unbearable to even just imagine my life without him. We must deal with the complications they won't ever go away if we don't.
It was a chilly, drizzly day, the rain came on and off as it pleased. A little of the sun's light managed to break through allowing me to see my first rainbow in Betws-Y-Coed. I love rainbows, I have always thought of following one to see where it ends. I haven't tried this, although most people who have tried usually either find nothing or they can't find it's end. Maybe with Matthew's speed we could try, but I don't want to. I guess I don't want to be disappointed just encase I don't find anything, sometimes it's nice to let life have some mysteries and believe that there is magic in the world.
When Daniel died, I felt like all the world's magic died along with him, but Matthew has awoken that hope in me that magic does exist if only you look in the right places.
As we arrived at school that morning Matthew said that he would catch up with me later something to do with getting some help with a homework assignment. Which I found weird considering he aced everything he did.
As I was crossing the courtyard to meet my friends my pathway was blocked. A girl stood there staring at me. She had earthly green eyes just like Matthew, although they were somehow different. They didn't seem to contain as much emotion as Matthew's did. They were enormous in her perfect, delicate face. They sat under her feathery black eyelashes that curled up over her eyes so beautifully. I moved down to find a small, slender nose followed by perfectly formed pouting red lips. Her skin was just as pale as Matthew's, I still can't get over how pale they are. I wonder why no one else seems to think it's strange. I suppose they don't know about the Halliwell family secret, and come to think of it they hadn't stuck out as much to me before, that was until I found out the truth. Her ultra-black hair sat perfectly just by her shoulders. She wore a cream, laced top, a black puffy skirt, black tights, and black heels. She seemed to follow fashion, this look was so in right now. Not that I follow fashion, I have my own style if you can even call it that. It's plain and simple just the way I like it. She gave off a scent of flowers that blossom in the spring time, it smelled delicious to the nostril.
"Marissa," she smiled happily.
"Yes?"
"I'm Hayley, Matthew's sister. Sorry I feel like I know you already, Matthew talks about you all the time," she tilted her head to one side with a shockingly tempting smile.
"Does he?" I grinned.
"Yes. Anyway, the reason I came to talk to you was that, well you and Matthew have been together for a few months now and we would like to get to know you," her eyes narrowed down into slits.
That's why Matthew had made up that pathetic excuse about getting help with an assignment and left. He knew she was going to come over and invite me to meet his family.
"So, what do you say about coming to ours tonight?"
Tonight? I thought I would have at least a night or two to prepare. I guess it wouldn't make a difference. I noticed that she was staring at me, hurt by my silence.
"That would be nice, I would like to see where Matthew lives and meet all of you."
I was sucking up to her, but so what. Wouldn't you? Hopefully the nicer I am and the more I suck up, the more they will like me.
"I think you will make a good impression, see you tonight."
Without another word, she left strutting her way back over to the rest of the family. She strutted just like her sister, only with a little less attitude. Her heels clicked across the concrete with each step she took. I wish I had a walk like that, a girl can wish, can't she?
I glanced back over to my friends they looked curious, I guess I would have to explain. But, I didn't have to tell the whole truth, did I? I was a bad liar, but if I based my words around the truth. It would still be the truth, wouldn't it? Only one way to find out, I took a deep breath and made my way towards them.
"Hey Marissa."
God Seth, if he was the one to talk first something was up.
"Hi," I said with an uneasy smile.
"So, what was that all about with Hayley?" his eyes narrowed as he awaited my answer.
"Eh.... she just wanted to meet up with me at some point."
"Why?" he questioned with a harsh tone.
"She just wants to get to know the girl that's dating her brother I guess."
Zac was next to reply, "Why you've only been going out for a few months?"
"Well you all know that Matthew doesn't really talk to other people, she's probably just curious why me?"
Seth stared at me intently for a few seconds before speaking again, "I think you should stay away from her, she's bad news," he warned. Behind that innocent smile, his warning was real.
"What do you mean?"
I watched as Danni wrapped her arms loosely around Seth, and replied for him. "Well Seth saw her running one day, really fast. He told her that she should run a marathon with that kind of speed and he patted her shoulder. Which in Seth's opinion was very warm, like fire almost. He wasn't surprised though she had run a long distance at a very fast pace. She threw his hand off her so hard she knocked him off his feet."
Danni was trying to be a protective girlfriend, with her being small and shy it's hard to take her seriously. I could see that this was hard for her to do which made me have new respect for her. Doing what she was may seem like a normal girlfriend to do but for Danni it was so much more and it took all that she had to stand up for Seth. I do hope that he appreciates her, she is going against who she is for him.
Out of the corner of my eye I caught Hayley smile, she must have been listening in. Not that I should be surprised.
"I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you," I defended.
"Marissa, you don't know her," he moaned. He stood up straight in a quick motion, so quick in fact that Danni's arms slid off him. His arms were held firmly by his sides, his whole-body stance was almost robotic. His eyes were screwed up and his lips had tightened.
She must have had a big impact on him, if I am not looking too much into things I would say that Seth did or does have a thing for her; not that he would ever admit to it. He must have taken her reaction as a rejection to him, I am not surprised that he liked or does like her. I mean look at her, can you really blame him?
"And you do?" I finally managed.
"I've known her longer than you," he pointed out.
"That doesn't mean you know her."
Hayley is Matthew's family, I felt a need to stand up for her.
"Yeah well I still know her better than you."
He seemed to be very stubborn about this.
"Maybe I will know her better once I spend some time with her."
Seth spoke before Danni could get a word in, "You're still going to meet her?" he growled furiously.
"Yes I am."
This was the first time that I had ever seen Seth angry and a little hurt, he was usually so quiet and calm. But I wasn't going to not see her and the rest of Matthew's family just to please him. There were bigger things at stake here, than is bruised ego. Before we could continue the conversation or rather our argument, the bell rang. Unfortunately, we were in cooking first and I would need to cope with Seth's annoyed glares. We all parted with Paige and made our way into class. As we took our seats the teacher stood up at the front of the class waiting for everyone to be quiet. When silence hit, she began to talk.
"Ok today class the nurses are going to give the tetanus/ditherier/polio jag. So, if you would all like to leave the classroom and follow the nurse."
Uh oh jags, I hate getting jags and I faint at the sight of blood. What am I going to do? I suppose I would just have to go and get it over with and hope for the best. As we left the class I saw Zac right on my heels, he must have thought that I couldn't handle this on my own. The truth was I probably couldn't, but he would be the last person on earth that I would choose to comfort me. We all entered the room where a group of nurses sat, each one sat at a separate table with an empty seat beside them. I took a deep breath which only made my body tense up even more. Fear slid across my face and slithered all the way down my body until it had eaten me whole. I stood there petrified to take a single step. My eyes were glued to the needle which she held in her hand. To most people, it may look small, but to me it looks enormous. My heart began to race, I could feel it burn beneath my skin, I could feel my temperature begin to rise and I felt faint already and she hadn't even touched me yet. I felt a little shove behind me pushing me forwards and of course it was Zac. As I turned to face him I realised that I had been holding everyone up.
"Would you like me to sit and hold your hand?" he asked half mocking half hopeful, he must have thought that I was scared enough that I would take help from anyone. He was wrong, I was scared but not that scared.
"No, I'll be fine."
My words didn't sound convincing, I felt like the fear had swallowed my voice and I was fighting to get it back.
"Are you sure?"
He's persistent I'll give him that, he was nothing but consistent.
"Yeah."
He stalked off towards one of the other nurses, thumping his feet against the squeaky-clean floor as he went. He was obviously irritated at my answer and annoyed at his wasted effort. My feet began to move me over to the nurse, dropping me on to the chair. I turned my head and shut my eyes tight hoping it would be over as quick as possible. I felt the needle pierce my skin and enter my body, as I turned around I saw that the needle was already out of me and the nurse was dabbing where it had entered.
"That's you dear, all free to go."
I smiled, stood up and left the room. I chuckled to myself, that had actually been a lot easier than I thought it would have been. As I wandered down the corridor my pace began to slow, I felt queasy. I had spoken too soon. I began to stumble all over the place, continuously tripping over my own two left feet as my vision blurred. I tried to stop moving, but it was useless. My body was moving all on its own without much help from me. My vision was messed up, I could see little red dots everywhere. I felt my heart beat faster and faster, making my chest tighten. I felt like my chest was shrinking inwards delaying my heart from pounding out of my chest. My airways felt like they were closing up blocking out anyway for oxygen to get in. The energy drained from my face, and eventually my whole body. It was like the world was running away from me, leaving me to rot in the darkness. I was losing my stance, I tried to stay on my feet but I was fighting a losing battle. I began to fall in slow motion, sending me crashing against a wall and eventually sliding down onto the ground. I could feel the sweat pouring out of me, and my body lost all of its movement. I don't know if I am seeing things, but I swear I can see a shadow of a man staring at me, motionless. I wanted my eyes to work so I knew I wasn't imagining it, I wanted to speak to him, if I got a response at least would know if he was really there. Then everything went dark.
Suddenly, someone was shaking me and calling out my name.
"Marissa, Marissa are you ok? Marissa speak to me," he fretted.
It was Zac, of course it was Zac. As my eyes began to flicker open I caught sight of his face.
"Come on I better get you to the office to get some water."
I wriggled free of his grip trying to make my lips move, "no, no, just get Matthew," I pleaded.
"But......" he began to protest.
"Matthew, get Matthew."
My voice was stronger this time, more forceful.
He stared at me hurt and irritated, "fine, I'll be back as soon as I can."
He left me lying here all alone, part of me felt like I shouldn't have asked him to leave. But, the other part of me was glad I did because it wasn't him I wanted. Before I knew it, Matthew was by my side.
"How did you get here so fast?" I asked in a daze.
Zac was the one to reply, "I bumped into him in the corridor.
Matthew turned away from me for a split second, "thanks Zac I think I can take it from here."
Zac stared at him not wanting to leave, but with one last grunt he left. Matthew turned back to me and scooped me up into his arms shakily. He started walking down the corridor, and then down some stairs.
"Where are we going?"
"To the office, we need to get you some water and probably a lie down. Trust you to faint, you are just a little walking disaster, aren't you?" he sighed.
"Aren't you sweet," I replied sarcastically.
He could be so cheeky sometimes and usually in the moments I feel the most vulnerable, it got on my nerves I could take care of myself, mostly.
"No, I like it I like saving you." A hard edge crept into his voice, "I knew something was wrong."
"What do you mean?"
He stared deeply into my ocean blue eyes which met his earthly green eyes with ease as though the forces of water and earth were joining forces.
"I felt your pain, so I excused myself from class to come and find you when I bumped into Zac." His eyes hardened at the name, so hard they almost looked like solid marble. "He told me that you had fainted and that you needed me." His eyes loosened once again, as Zac's name became nothing but a distant memory.
"Yes, he wasn't happy about my command, but he did it anyway."
He purred in delight, "I guessed that by his tone." A small subtle smile erupted on his red, wet, slippery, glossy lips. It was satisfaction at Zac's irritation that once again I wanted Matthew and not him.
We arrived at the office, the school nurse ran over to us. "What's the matter with her?"
"She got the jag and fainted, I think she needs some water and somewhere to rest."
"Bring her through here."
We followed the nurse into a room where Matthew lay me down on a bed.
"I'll go fetch her some water."
"Thank you."
My vision began to come back to me, I could feel my heart start to find it's natural steady rhythm, my temperature went back to normal, and my queasiness began to ease. Matthew stared at me, looking worried.
"Matthew I'm ok, don't worry. Just a moment of weakness, nothing unusual for me. I'm only human remember."
"That doesn't make me worry less, I worry about you all the time and all I want is for you to be safe," he sighed.
"You don't have to worry about me all of the time, I'm fine. I'm just human there are going to be times where I get hurt."
That's just human nature, whether I like it or not.
"I know, but it doesn't mean that I won't try to stop it from happening or trying to make it better," he moaned as he took a seat beside me, his head falling into his hands.
"And I don't want you to, I just want you to relax a little bit."
"I'm only relaxed when you are lying safe and well in my arms," he persisted as his face came back into view, and his eyes met mines once again.
I couldn't change Matthew he was who he was I would just have to let him worry about me, whether I wanted him to or not.
"I like you worrying about me, sometimes," I tried to joke.
He smirked, "I bet you do my little walking disaster," he cracked.
"Is that my new nickname?" I teased.
"Maybe," he smirked.
That meant it was, I was glad to take his mind off worrying about me for a few seconds. The nurse came walking in with a cup of water and handed it to me.
"Here you go dear, now just you stay here until you feel better."
"Thank you, do you mind phoning our teachers to let them know where we are?"
"Of course, Mr Halliwell, you will wait with Miss Atwood I assume?"
"Yes."
She stared at me for a moment puzzled, "wait aren't you the girl who was in here a few months back who sprained her leg?"
"Yes, she was you'll probably be seeing a lot of her."
That sealed the deal, I was now branded a waking disaster. Everyone would be watching me, waiting for me to hurt myself. Great. I saw the nurse have a little chuckle to herself as she left the room.
"You may as well just change my name to walking disaster and be done with it."
He smirked, "there's plenty of evidence to back up that name, and I'm sure you'll make up plenty more."
Matthew was always ready for me to get myself into a knot in some way, he knew it would come. He also knew that he would be there for me, helping me as much as he could. Keeping me safe. With him around my life was in safe hands, I just wish that he knew that but there was no telling him. He still thought of himself as he biggest threat. I saw him staring at me out of the corner of his eye, puzzled.
"What are you thinking about love? You lay there so quiet, yet I can see thoughts whirling around in that pretty little head of yours."
I could hide nothing from him, yet it was better for him not to know this. I mean what the point in telling him be? It will change nothing.
"Nothing you need to know about."
"No more secrets," he reminded me. I so wasn't going to get out of this.
"Eh, well I just wish...." I trailed off. He reached out and held my hand in his, sending a burning itch through my skin. He stared deep into my eyes waiting for an answer, I could see the desperation in his face he didn't like me keeping things from him no matter how trivial they were.
"Wish what?" he persisted, the anticipation was killing him.
"That, that you would stop thinking about yourself as a threat to me and accept that you are the one who is keeping me safe," I stated blatantly.
He let go of my hand immediately and stalked off towards the window. He turned around a few minutes later with his eyes held tightly together and his lips pursed, but with a faint tremble.
"I wish I wasn't a threat to you, it would make things so much easier. But I'm not going to lie, I am a threat to you and there's no way around that. I am the one trying to keep you safe from everything as well as myself."
I sighed I knew that there was no point to this, I knew that he wouldn't change his mind. He seemed to release all emotion from his face as he sat down on the bed next to me holding my hand once again.
"The strangest part about it is that the more time I spend with you, the more human I feel. Your soul is calling to what is left of mine aiming to bring it back to the side of good. It may continue to sing to my devil side forcing me to fight the instinct to suck your soul, but it's not as strong anymore. It will continue to tempt me so, forcing me to continue my inner battle but it's definitely getting easier. I love you and I will keep you safe always. My self-control is getting stronger, but I don't want to push it to the limit. I can't help the way that I feel about myself, but ever since you came into my life I actually feel slightly better about myself. Even though you wouldn't think that true, I do have a great deal of hatred for myself and it's not easily diminished."
I suppose at least he was feeling a little bit better about himself, maybe in time he will grow to feel good about himself with my help. I accept him for who and what he is, human, devil, I love both parts of him. And as much as I would like to hide it the darkest parts of him allure me, they aren't something to be hated they are something to be treasured. If I told Matthew this he would call me crazy which is why keeping some things to myself is best. I think if he knew how I felt about some things he would consider leaving me as he wouldn't want me to be consumed by darkness. I am good, but when I tried to take my own life something changed inside me. I have tried to ignore it, but that is something I can no longer do.
I smiled, "I guess that's a start." A bell just went off in my head. "So, did you know that Hayley was going to ask me to come to your home tonight?"
He looked shocked at the sudden change in subject but somewhat glad. A little smirk spread across his face, "she insisted on asking you herself, are you still ok to come over tonight?"
I squinted at him, "Did Hayley tell you I said yes?"
"No I listened in and I knew that you wouldn't say no to her, to me maybe, but your too nice to say it to my family."
I smiled he was right. "It's just the way that I am built, I feel the need to put others first and give them what they want."
"I really want you to meet my family, but I'm just worried if they are going to see things our way or not."
"Me too."
The nurse came back strolling through the door as the school bell rang.
"Hello dear, are you ok to stay or do you want to go home?"
"She's fine I'll take care of her."
Always answering everything for me, I guess it's another part of him I will must accept. When you love someone, you have to love every part of them including their flaws. It's not your duty to change them, the only way they will change is If they want to.
Without another word, Matthew helped me off the bed holding me to make sure that I didn't lose my balance. His body was tense, almost robotic as he did so. I would have pushed him away as I knew that I would do fine on my own, but I liked being close to him, so I didn't object.
I felt better as the day went on, but that still didn't stop Matthew from worrying about me, not that I minded too much.
By the time lunch came I was starving, I was first in the dinner queue and I got myself a slice of pizza and a baguette with a bottle of orange juice. Matthew appeared behind me looking astounded.
"Hungry?"
"Yeah," I blushed.
"I see you're feeling better," he smiled.
"Much," I smiled back.
"Glad to hear it. Do you mind if we sit ourselves today I have a few things I wish to discuss?"
"Eh sure."
My friends noticed our change in direction, and left us to go off on our own. I didn't like leaving them in the lurch like that, but they didn't seem to mind. And to be honest I was glad not to be sitting with them after the day I've had with Seth and Zac. I could see Zac's face all scrunched up, he was so full of jealousy it really wasn't an attractive quality. As we sat down Matthew pushed his tray away as usual, leaving me to tuck into my lunch. I chewed my way through my pizza and crunched my way through my baguette then swallowed it down with orange juice. As I finished my eyes were directed to the expression on Matthew's face.
"Sorry, I was being a bit greedy wasn't I?" I chuckled.
"Don't apologise, you're always apologising."
"Sorry.... I mean," I chuckled again.
"See there you go again," he laughed too. "You seem to have a big appetite today, are you feeling ok?" he leaned his elbow lightly on the table and pulled himself closer to me.
"I suppose I just eat a lot when I'm nervous."
"Nervous?" surprise coloured his voice.
"Yeah like I said before I want your family to like me and accept us, and that is a lot of pressure. It's not easy trying to be perfect when you're a walking disaster," I chuckled.
"Really? And here I was thinking you would be worried about being in a house full of devils that could suck your soul," he smirked.
"You know me better than that," I winked.
"Yes, your right. You're so strange, you don't react to things like normal people would." Emphasis on the word normal.
"Depends on what your definition of normal is," I pointed out.
"True."
I had him there, there was no definition of normal. Everyone is who they are, no one is the same, therefore you can't be normal.
"So how are we going to tackle your family tonight?" My eyes scanned the room to make sure that they weren't in hearing range.
"They aren't here. And as for your question I don't think we should plan anything."
"But...."
"I will introduce you to them, we will have a pleasant evening and they can get to know you and see how our relationship is. They can ask whatever questions they wish to ask, and we will answer them truthfully."
"What if they don't accept us?" I persisted.
"Whether they do or don't we will be together, I know that. They know how stubborn I can be, and I will stay with you as long as you want me."
"Forever then," I smirked.
He displayed a small smile, "the only thing is that if they don't accept us, then there is a bigger chance that Satan won't. Although the only way he would find out in my opinion is if someone told him, so I think we are safe......for......" he trailed off.
I glanced over my shoulder and realised that he was staring at Zac who was trying to get up out of his chair, but it just kept sliding forward again and again sitting him back down. Was Matthew doing this?
"Matthew what are you doing?"
"He told your friends he wants to come over here and challenge me to a fight, he still thinks he has a chance with you," he moaned.
"I've, we've already explained to him that he doesn't and never will," I said furiously. My hands began to clench without me even thinking about it. Zac seemed to have the power to enrage me without much effort at all.
Matthew's jaw had tightened, "he's still not giving up," his lips pursed and his eyes were chillingly focused. He didn't blink once, his eyes seemed to be held open without any effort at all. It was as though he only blinked because humans do and he needed to fit in. Or else he would have no need whatsoever to do it. I wonder if that is the same with breathing.
I turned my attention back to Zac, "I wish he would give it up already." I was so angry that I thought my anger should physically burn him.
"So, do I."
Zac wasn't giving up he kept trying to get up, but Matthew just kept putting him back in his seat. This was pointless.
"Matthew just let him come over."
I saw an evil smile spread across his face.
"No, you are not fighting him I am going to deal with this."
Matthew's face loosened a little, "I won't let him upset you." As the words left his mouth his face returned to its infuriated state, just like before.
I brought myself down to a state of calm, "he won't now please let me deal with this." I had to think clearly and rationally in order to deal with Zac.
"Fine." Matthew looked away from Zac, allowing him out of his seat. He strolled over to us as bold as brass. The rest of my friends looked on at him, wondering what was going to happen next. I was wondering that too. He stood directly in front of Matthew like he was sitting here all by himself.
"Fight, 3 o'clock."
"I'm a lover not a fighter." Smooth, but these words sung to me like the sound of a bird chirping.
Zac looked irritated, "what are you chicken, do you think you will lose?" he chuckled.
"Not at all, I just think that it would be a shame to embarrass you in front of the entire student body and also because it would upset Marissa."
He glanced at me, probably wishing that he was talking to Matthew alone. But he knew that wherever Matthew was, I was. His eyes darted back to Matthew as a little smirk crossed his face. "Hiding behind a girl's skirt, are we?"
"No, I just don't want to hurt her, do you?"
He stood there for a moment moulding over Matthew's words. "Course not, that's why I think I should get a fair shot at getting her. I could make her happier than you ever could."
That was enough, I wasn't a piece of property to be fought over, I was a person and I had feelings. I had had enough. I threw myself up onto my feet, knocking my chair backwards crashing to the ground in my rage. They both looked at me mouths open and eyes wide.
"I am sick of this; Zac I am with Matthew. Get that into your thick skull already. I don't want to speak to you ever again. I am not something to be possessed by anyone, so stop treating me like I am."
I could feel the tears threatening to leave my eye lids, so I raced through the dining hall and out the door. I stood in the hall way letting the tears escape and pour down my face. I could feel my lips tremble, I felt so guilty. How could I do that to someone? Yes, he may have deserved it, but that wasn't me. I was just so angry with him. My hands crawled over my face trying to hide it, I slid down the wall landing on the cold floor with a thud. I seem to be spending a lot of time on these cold, hard floors today. Cold and hard two words that seem to describe me well, especially after what I just did. I held my head between my knees, almost crawling up into a ball. I soon felt arms wrap themselves around me.
"I told you we shouldn't have let him come over."
"Thanks for the I told you so," I muffled under my tears. I felt his hand touch my skin, wiping my hair and hands away from my face and lifting my head up to look up at him. "Sorry, are you ok?"
"Do I look ok?"
I saw the pain and suffering crawl across his face.
"Sorry I don't mean to take my frustrations out on you, Zac just really upset me and I disappointed myself by acting the way I did. Thanks for not hitting him, I know that it must have been hard. I wanted to hit him myself. He has caused me, us so many problems. Still I can't believe what I said, I'm not usually that hurtful. I hate to think of myself as the kind of person who would do that." My words came out in mumbles I don't know if Matthew heard it all, tears just kept flooding down my cheeks. He tried to wipe them away with his fingertips, but more just kept pouring out.
"You're the nicest and most gentle person I have ever met in my entire existence. You don't have an evil bone in your body. Zac is to blame, I could kill him for hurting you this way."
My eyes filled with terror.
"Don't fret I won't, but I think he will leave us alone from now on."
As I processed his words, I wiped away my tears. "What?"
"He saw what he did to you, I simply told him that if he ever did that again he would wish he had never been born."
"Matthew," I moaned.
"It looked like he received the message loud and clear, things should run more smoothly from now on."
"I suppose that's something. Thanks."
He hoisted me up onto my feet and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his perfectly toned body which shook lightly beneath mine, putting his lips to my ear. "I would do anything for you." I smiled I knew that were true, and I was very grateful to have him by my side. "I could take you home now if you would like. We only have two classes left, I could make up an excuse."
I thought about that for a moment, I was going to Matthew's later and I didn't want Gwen and Ryan to think that I was bunking off school. That would just give them more leverage to hold against Matthew.
"I'll be fine, just don't leave me ok?"
He looked worried, "well we'll be together next period, but not last period. I'll think of something to get you out of it."
Oh, no I don't think I could last a second without him by my side. I hope he thinks of something soon. He held me in front of him and stared into my eyes, "how did I get so lucky?"
"What? Getting a wreck of a girl like me."
He frowned, "no getting a beautiful, wonderful, sweet girl like you."
I let a smile slide across my face, he always knew how to cheer me up.
"There's that smile that I love so much." As he said those words my smile grew even bigger, and the bigger my smile got the bigger his smile got.
"Look at us a couple of smilers," I joked.
"Seeing you happy makes me happy."
"Same," I uttered. My eyes left his as I felt a breeze coming from the dining hall doors. It was Zac, my smile faded instantly.
"Look Marissa, I'm sorry. I've not come here for round two or anything, I came here to apologise. I understand now that you are with Matthew, I won't bother you again." Seeing the sorrow in his face made all the anger in me melt away. I was filled with pity. I couldn't leave things like this between us, I saw him turn around that was all he had obviously come to say.
"Zac wait."
I saw Matthew stare at me, shocked by my reaction. Zac turned with a mixed expression on his face, not knowing what to expect from me.
"I am glad now that you understand, I would like to at least try and be friends. But no funny business, one more attempt like today or any jabs at Matthew, then me and you are finished for good," I said flatly.
I saw his whole face light up, he seemed glad of my change of heart. "Thank you, Marissa, thank you. I promise you that I will just be your friend and nothing more."
"Your welcome, and if you're looking for a girlfriend maybe you should look in Paige's direction."
"Thanks, bye." He left through the dining hall doors, practically skipping. I turned to face Matthew ready for a strop. "I'm sorry I......" I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
"Don't apologise, you are just too nice for your own good. Do you know that? And I told you to stop apologising," he chuckled.
"Sorry, ah it's like word vomit."
"As long as he doesn't hurt you again, I am fine with it."
"Thank you, you are so understanding," I smiled.
"It's one of my charms," he winked.
"Smooth."
"Yeah, not one of my strong points."
I giggled.
"You have a contagious laugh I love that."
We were interrupted by the bell, Matthew took my hand and directed me towards physics. As we took our seats and our teacher began the lesson, I noticed Matthew squinting. I love watching his mind at work. In a weird kind of way, it turns me on, I blushed scarlet at my own realisation. As we sat through the class I could feel tension build between us. Matthew went and made it worse, he lay his warm hand on top of mine sending tickling flames through my skin. I wanted to hold him and kiss him right here, right now. I knew that wasn't the best thing to do. I hope the bell rings soon, I am only a teenager I can only control my hormones for so long. Thankfully a while later my prayers were answered. Matthew never took his hand off mine, he just linked our fingers. He walked me up into my maths class where he would leave me. I started to panic, my palms were sweating, my breathing was heavy and my heart rhythm picked up. How am I going to cope? I really need him right now.
"I will be gone a short time, you won't even notice my absence."
As he left me at the entrance of my maths class, I already felt his absence. I strolled into the class and sat down next to Danni.
"Hey Marissa, are you ok?" she asked concerned.
"Fine." God, I sounded shaky, half dead. I need to stick to one word answers and she won't notice too much.
"I'm glad you and Zac sorted things out, it was nice of you to forgive him after everything. I guess you just have a forgiving nature," she said full of admiration.
"Yeah," I smiled.
"I never got a chance to properly talk to you about what happened this morning with Seth. He is a very sensitive soul even though you may not think it. Hayley upset him and she never apologised and has ignored him ever since. No one's ever treated him the way she did and he's never gotten over it."
"It's ok."
"I just didn't want you to think ill of Seth, he was just trying to be protective in his own way."
I'm pretty sure he was trying to thrust his opinion of Hayley on others to make himself feel better. It was better of him to think of her as a bad person, than to think she just didn't like him. I don't know why you wouldn't like Seth, but it's not up to me to decide how others should feel.
"I understand."
Oh, I hope Matthew gets here soon, I am barely keeping up with Danni talking never mind trying to answer her. Suddenly, I saw this beautiful face come into view revealing to me those earthly green eyes. He made me feel so much better when he was near. Danni also stared at him, she must have been wondering what he was doing here.
"Hi Mr Stevens, can I borrow Marissa for this period, the headmaster has to speak to her."
He handed Mr Stevens a note as he said this, after he scanned it he looked in my direction.
"Miss Atwood take your stuff and leave with Mr Halliwell. Miss Cooper can catch you up with anything that you miss."
I smiled, gathered my things, and left the class, I was so glad to be out of there. Matthew intertwined his fingers with mine as we left.
"Thanks for that, but won't we get in trouble. I mean won't he find out that I'm not going to the headmaster's office."
"Except you are," he smirked.
"Well I asked him to arrange a meeting with you, as part of the cover up of course. I just thought it would be nice if they asked you how you were getting on here at Eirias. I told him that he didn't want to lower the school's standards by not keeping on top of new pupils."
I guess he would agree to that, he wouldn't want the school's reputation to be at risk. Would he? But that would mean I would be away from Matthew. My worry lines seemed to be visible as Matthew made a small, awkward smile. "Don't worry Marissa." He reached up his hand and stroked my face. "You will only be in there for five minutes' max, he isn't much of a talker."
A sigh of relief washed over me, I could cope with five minutes. Couldn't I? Matthew pulled me along towards the school office, but turned to the door on the right which sat just outside the office doors.
"In you go, I'll wait here and don't worry."
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I heard the headmaster say, 'come in, come in'. I slowly opened the door and walked over and placed myself on one of the available armchairs.
"Hello Marissa, I am principal Walker. I just wanted to check in with you and see how you were liking your education here at Eirias?"
"Yeah it's really good."
"Good, good. Are the people being nice to you, making you feel welcome?"
"Very."
"Very good, very good, I would expect nothing less. Is there anything that you don't like?"
"Nope, nothing at all."
"Very well, very well. It was nice talking to you Miss Atwood, I hope we bump into each other again soon. Goodbye."
God Matthew was right, I felt like I had just got here and now I was leaving. I liked this headmaster, he was my kind of guy. "Bye sir." I flew up onto my feet and left the room, shutting the door behind me.
"That was fast," I sighed.
"Yes, like I said love he's not much of a talker." Matthew intertwined his fingers with mine once again as we strolled along the corridor out the front double doors. It just clicked to me that I was going to be meeting his family. Butterflies filled my stomach, I was so nervous it was unbelievable. I feel like I have gone in for surgery and the aesthetic has worn off, yet the operation is still underway. I could feel the hands pulling and tugging at my insides, then it was as though something had gone wrong. I felt a hard blow to my side, it was now getting pushed and prodded with an enormous amount of pressure. As it was sealed, I could feel every single stitch being plunged into my skin to seal it up tight. With each pierce of the needle I felt like I was getting worse, not better.
Matthew noticed my sudden change in expression. "What's wrong?"
"Just worried about tonight, I hope it goes well."
"Me too."
I looked myself up and down, was this suitable attire to wear to meet his family.
"Do you think that you should maybe take me home first so that I can get changed. I want to be presentable." Not that I have many clothes different to what I am wearing, but I might have something. I could borrow something of Gwen's if I had to.
"You are perfect as you are."
Of course, he would say that.
"I want you to be as comfortable as possible."
A new outfit isn't going to make me feel any more comfortable, so there really is no point. "Let's go then," I sighed. Without another word, we continued walking through the courtyard towards Matthew's car. He helped me into his car, then revved the engine as he took us down the road.
"Matthew?"
"Yes."
I bit my bottom lip with a light tug, "will we get anytime alone together tonight?"
I really hope so, I just want him all to myself. After everything I've been through today I am emotionally exhausted and there is still more to come. I just want to lie and his arms and let it all be washed away.
I watched as a smirk crossed his face, "wanting to take advantage of me, are we?"
"Maybe," I smirked, not that he would let me.
His smirk got wider, "we probably will, you better not test my self-control too much," behind that smirk his warning was real.
I smiled, "can't make any promises."
He sighed, "I suppose I must be the responsible one which is to be expected. I am getting better at controlling myself around you, but your soul still calls out to me like a sirens song. I suppose you could call it a 'lethal lullaby'."
I had never thought of it that way, now my soul's song had a name. "Naming my soul's song, yes that will make things easier," I moaned.
He chuckled, "well, it can't make things any worse. Can it?"
"I guess not." We stopped abruptly at the foot of the mountain. Why were we stopping here, Matthew's house or should I say castle was all the way at the top? He looked at me with a weird glint in his eyes.
"Do you trust me?"
A light bulb went off in my head, "You are kidding, right?" I pleaded.
"Do you trust me?" he repeated.
I took a deep breath before replying, "I trust you."
"You really shouldn't."
He jumped over the car door and came around to let me out. As the door shut, he grabbed my arm and hoisted me up onto his back. In a flash, we were going full speed ahead up the mountain. It wasn't as bad this time as there weren't any trees that my head could possibly hit off. Although this didn't stop me holding on tight for dear life. The air scraped across my skin and stung my cheeks as the speed and wind reacted with each other. I felt like I couldn't breathe, the force of the wind has shattered my senses. I can't focus properly, and I feel sort of queasy. I am moving my fingers, but I can't feel the movement and I can see my fingers moving, but they are a blur. I feel like all the colour has drained from my face, and I swear I can see tiny red dots in the distance.
As Matthew's speed began to decrease, we landed safely on top of the mountain. My arms flew off him like a reflex, dropping me to the ground. "I don't think I will ever get used to that," I muffled as I tried to get my breath back, and repair all my broken senses.
"I really need to be more careful with the landing part, I forget that you aren't used to this. It just comes so natural to me."
He hoisted me up onto my feet, holding me steady. I wiped myself down, luckily, I hadn't done my clothes any damage.
"You look great, now stop fretting."
"I can't help it."
He took my hand, I held on tight as we began tomake our way towards the castle, to his family.