Surprise update!!! I wasn't happy with the last chapter, it being shorter than I wanted and I felt a little cheated out of a good update so I wrote another one for you! Enjoy!
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**| North's POV |**
Luke's eyes flickered over the garden with curiosity as his hands played with the ends of his long braid, needing something to do with his hands. I was still waiting for him to cut his hair but he was determined to have it grow down to his feet for some odd reason. His eyes sparked with excitement as he took in what he would deem as nature's playground.
I thought he would like this place. Sang used to love it here too.
After all the sparring yesterday, I decided I couldn't continue being an asshole to Luke. It wasn't fair to him and I knew how he became when people drew away from him.
I couldn't keep pushing him away. Not any longer.
"Why are we here?" he asked.
I shrugged and glanced around, taking in the unfamiliar yet very familiar garden. This place was called Schulgarten—School Garden. The flowers seemed to cover the spectrum of the rainbow, planted all over. Cobblestone mapped it's way through the gardens. There was even a little cafe to relax at, and a little bridge going over a small stream with lily pads and ducks in it.
"Come on," I said and led him to where I used to meet with Sang. The spot was hard to find, which was why it was a little gem. It was a grass area with an old massive beech tree expanding up into the sky, creating a huge shaded area covering the green grass. There weren't many people in this particular area just because they rarely made it past the hedge mazes in their explorations.
I went up to the tree and rested my hand against the bark as Luke's wide eyes took in the massive tree.
"I used to meet Sang here often," I said, still facing the tree. My memories came surging forward and I swore I could hear her soft laughter. I looked up to a branch that was a few feet higher than me. I could picture her sitting on the branch, swinging her little feet as she looked down at me.
I smiled because I used to always yell at her to get down. It would hurt if she fell and I didn't want her hurt more than she usually was. She tried to hide her pain well but I knew she had hurt as much as I did.
Was she hurting now? Or did she get away from it all? I just wanted to know she was safe and healthy.
Alive.
"North?" Luke said softly, standing next to me, giving me a sad knowing look. He knew I got lost in my memories. He did it often enough.
"When the first time I saw you climb a tree, I nearly died. All I could see was Sang up in the tree. She fell off once. She didn't get hurt badly, just a sore ankle. She did this weird roll thing off the tree and she was back on her feet in moments, laughing it off. But it didn't stop me from yelling at her."
"That's why you finally talked to me? Because I reminded you of Sang?" Luke asked. "All that work I did to get you to talk, to break your silence and it took me climbing a tree and reminding you of Sang to get you to talk? Damn, I should have done that sooner."
I snorted and ran a hand through my hair. "Everything reminded me of her. I never really stopped thinking about her. You guys helped. The Academy helped. But I just kept seeing her."
I turned and sat on the dry ground. Luke settled in next to me.
"What was she like?" he asked, his brown eyes curious.
I smiled, remembering the light in her eyes despite the shit she faced. "Adventurous. She wanted to see everything. I chased her around this whole fucking city as she explored every nook and cranny. And she saw life in everything. Her life was so fucking shitty and she never once complained. She understood the moment she saw me that we were cut from the same cloth, but unlike me, she was able to move past it."
"You moved passed it."
I shook my head.
"No," I whispered. "No, I didn't. I couldn't. I did for a while, when I met Sang. She made it all seem okay, as if all that shit didn't hurt me, but then we left and only Silas was able to keep me afloat. Barely."
Luke jumped to his feet and paced back and forth.
"No, you're wrong," he said and shook his head, his brown eyes dark with frustration and worry as he shook his head, his braid whipping back and forth behind him like a tail. "You're wrong, North. You did move past it."
I looked away because I definitely didn't feel like I did. I was so easily angry and I needed control. I needed it so fucking badly and having a brother like Luke made that difficult.
Luke stopped in front of me and glared down at me. "I love you, North, but dammit, you are stupid stubborn."
"Wha—"
"You're being an idiot. If that sperm donor bastard really broke you, you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't have given a damn about this Sang woman. You wouldn't be trying so desperately to find some woman you knew years ago. You wouldn't yell at me when I do something stupid. You wouldn't try to stuff stupid disgusting vegetables down my throat. You wouldn't have even hunted down my stash of sweets to take away from me. And you sure as hell wouldn't have tried to get to know Sang. You wouldn't have kept meeting up with her, chasing her around this city as she explored every nook and cranny. You would have let her be, you wouldn't have cared. So stop lying to yourself because you were able to move past it."
I gaped at Luke, at the way he stood over me, glaring, his hands fisted at his side. He rarely got like this, maybe a handful of times and each time was always a shock to my system.
"You're a survivor, North, and whatever the hell happens here you'll get past. We will find Sang. We will get you your answers. And we will move on from this."
I finally nodded, never knowing how to respond to him when he got like this.
He pushed out a breath and then flopped down next to me, leaning back on his hands, his eyes up, staring up at the canopy of the tree. We fell into a comfortable silence because there wasn't much else to say. He said his part and I listened.
Luke only last about ten minutes of silence before he was on his feet. I could hear him behind me and I knew he was climbing the damn tree. I pressed my lips together, keeping myself from yelling up to him. He was a grown ass adult and if he fell...well he needed to learn.
"This is amazing, I can see why Sang would come up here," he called down to me. "Maybe you should come up and check this out."
I shook my head. "Not happening."
He laughed, "Come on, lil bro. Don't you want to see the world through Sang's eyes."
I paused at his words.
It's beautiful up here, North Star. A world we rarely get to see.
I blew out a breath and rubbed at my jaw, turning and squinting up at Luke. He was pretty far up there, almost as high as Sang used to climb.
Come on, North. The world is spinning without you.
Luke's words with the echo's of Sang's had me climbing up to him.
And I quickly remembered why I hated doing it.
When I made it to where Luke sat on a thick branch, laughing at me, eyes sparkling, I sighed, refusing to look down. I didn't hate heights, but I did hate the idea of the branch being the only thinking keeping me from falling. I liked something a little more solid underneath me when I was high up.
"Just look up," Luke said and I did as he said.
And he was right. This view was breathtaking, which was as far as I was getting at being poetic. But the sun was setting, and the the flowers planted all around shined, hedges created patterns along paths and people walked about. Put together created a picture of peace and beauty. I could see why Sang liked to be here.
"Tell me more about her," Luke said after a few minutes of taking in the setting sun.
"Why?" I asked.
He shrugged and then flashed me a smile. "I want to know about the girl who has caught your attention. I want to believe that someone you believe in so deeply is incapable of killing children. If you believe in her so much, I don't see her taking a one-eighty and doing that."
"They believe it," I said.
"They are looking at the facts," Luke said slowly, carefully picking out his words—something he rarely did. "But as Silas said, we don't know it's her. It could be some other tiny, pretty, blonde chick."
I snorted.
"Silas believes in you," he said. "And I want to too. But I don't know Sang like you do. So tell me about her. Tell me what keeps you distracted, what makes you push us all away, what's driving you to find her."
I closed my eyes and imagined the scene as if it just happened. "The first time I met Sang, I was in some old abandoned building that scumbag dragged me to for a meeting with other scumbags. I was hurting so badly and I found a spot to just hide. But she found me," I snickered at that particular memory. "We couldn't understand each other. She only knew German and I didn't know any of it, having just recently moved to Germany. But she took one look at me and knew something was wrong. She was patient." My lips twitched. "We had a basic lesson on German and English words, slowly teaching each other. Just before we had to part ways, she gave me a fucking Band Aid. At the end, our fathers found us and and we parted ways."
I paused for a moment, narrowing my eyes.
"She pulled that Band Aid out of her sock, just carrying it around for a rainy fucking day. What child carries that shit around?" I shook my head.
Luke didn't say anything, lost in some day dream. I let him stay there for a while. When he finally came out of it, he asked for another memory.
"She liked to sing," I told him.
Luke cocked an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue.
"She would climb up this tree and she would hum. If she was in a really sad mood, she would sing instead, hoping it would lift her spirits. I think it worked because she would come back down, her smile wider, and her eyes not as dark." I shook my head. "She would try to get me to sing but I never did. Some days, I wished I did. I wished I did more with her, kept her more busy, away from her shitty family. I wished I took her with me. I wished I came back sooner. Should have dragged Silas with me back here to find her. Instead, I waited."
"Not your fault," Luke said. "Just remember that. This whole shitty situation wasn't your fault. You were only a child, forced to follow your father's whims. You couldn't save her because you still needed to save yourself." He turned to me. "But now that you're safe, we can save her. All of us. Together. You did what you were supposed to do. You got back up. Now stop feeling like that."
I nodded and winced when my phone rang.
"Better get that," Luke said.
I sighed knowing exactly who it was.
"Where the fuck are you?" Gabe yelled when I answered the phone.
"Out," I replied.
"Well, your ass better be fucking back in within half an hour. I still need to get you ready for tonight."
"I'll just wear what I normally wear."
"Not fucking happening on my watch," he snapped and I heard who sounded like Sean in the background say something to Gabe. "You are not going into a damn gang meetup looking like you want to pound in their fucking faces. You'll start a brawl just walking in. You will wear the damn clothes I picked out for you. So get your ass here and bring Luke back with you. He's going to take more work than you. You already look tough. Luke will need more work. It's like trying to make a cute little puppy look like a damn rabies infected pitbull."
"Hey!" Sean yelled in the background, closer now. "Don't hate on the pitbulls."
"Shut up and put on your damn pants already," Gabe snapped.
I chuckled. "We'll be there," I said.
"Fucking better be," Gabe replied before there was a click, signaling that he hung up on.
Luke laughed. "I'm guessing it's time to go?"
I nodded.
Luke laughed again and climbed down the tree with experience and sure movements. I was a little clumsy but Luke was smart enough to keep his trap shut if he knew what was good for him. Didn't stop the laughter in his eyes though.
I grumbled as we walked back to our rental car and headed back to the hotel. Tonight was going to be long but I was glad I talked with Luke. He even seemed to be in a lighter mood, the shadows disappearing from his eyes.
The same shadows that I put there. I really needed to stop being a fucking asshole.