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‘’ I don’t. ‘’ My immediate reply came as he finished uttering those words - the words I was dying to hear a long long time ago. But not now, today, those words confused me.
His arms tightened around me, caging me in his arms so I can’t move. The dog sniffed my hair. I fought the urge to pull away when his nose touched my ticklish spot at the side of my neck. ‘’ It’s okay.. I will love you enough for the both of us’’.
Mustering all the strength that I have, I broke out of his hot embrace. After a glare, I continued walking, stepping over logs and over large roots of the trees. The air was cool and I closed my teared shirt. In the end, I tied the two cloths together so they covered my breasts. It wasn’t really a very good idea because I know my nipples were visible. Irritated, I crossed my arms over my chest and continued to walk with my steps heavy. The land was going up as if we were hiking a mountain and I was not even sure if I was on my way home. I was just following the line that I thought was because of me when the alpha dog dragged me.
The scent of earth soil was strong that our scent was overpowered by it. This is why can hardly smell our scent when we came here.
I nearly threw him when I felt him lay his chafed arm around my shoulders. ‘’ What are you doing? ‘’ I coldly asked but didn’t stop walking.
‘’ Just walking.. ‘’ he replied and turned to me with raised eyebrows, mocking me.
Annoyed, I stopped walking and then faced him. Again, I tensed my muscles, putting all frustrations there to keep my face devoid of any uncertainty and remain it cold.
‘’ Where are we going babe? ‘’ he asked then, his voice a little far. This made me stop and I sniffed our fading scent. It was still here so I followed the trail, leaving him there, all naked. ‘’ That’s not the way, babe. ‘’ I heard him say.
‘’ Don’t be a smart ass, I can smell our scent.’’ I snapped while walking.
‘’ Yeah but I didn’t go here immadiately. I went for a run then went here, dragging you. ‘’ he said and emphasised the last two words.
‘’ WHY?'' I said calmly and turned to him. He just shrugged which only fuelled my anger.
‘’ WHY!!!!!’’ Again, he shrugged. With balled fist, I turned my back on him then turned back to face him and turned my back on him again. Completely irritated that I was not thinking clearly, in the end, I stomped my feet like a child and then kicked a tree making it shake violently. The pain from my foot vanished quickly but not the anger.
All the while, he was just standing on his spot with the end of lips curled up in amusement. The fact that I was showing him too much of me awakened me. Instantly, my face froze up. I walked towards him, watching his gaze moved down my body. It was uncomfortable.
‘’ Eyes up. ‘’ I said and he did it instantly almost like a good dog. ‘’ Good dog. ‘’ He frowned at that. I whistled.’’ Lead the way.. ‘’ I said and clicked my tongue a few times.
Now it was my moment to watch in amusement as he balled his fist. Any alpha would’ve snapped the very first moment I insulted him. His control was impressive, I'd give him that.
In the end, he exhaled and then glared at me with his wolf’s eyes. ‘’ This way. ‘’ he snapped, his voice thick and husky.
I smirked at the back of his head. ‘’You’re just a dog.’’ I whispered but not in a volume low enough so he can’t hear.
I want him to hear. I want to be the cause of his pain. ‘’ The lowly idiot. ‘’
In front of me, he continued to walk. I knew he heard but he didn’t react. In truth, I felt disappointed but relieved at the same time. I just sighed. Am I being so harsh now? Does he deserve all this?
Of course he doesn’t! Everyone makes mistakes! If you switch your places around..
I shut the beast’s annoying voice inside me. Her voice was so similar to mine. Or perhaps the same. I do not really listen to it any more. It was unhealthy for a werewolf to do so. Very unhealthy. I could be a deranged wolf soon or rather, a deranged hybrid. However, it will be more difficult for the Lycan society to kill me. Not only because I’m stronger than an average individual but I know this alpha dog will protect me.
To death.
‘’I will love you enough for the both of us. ‘’Before I knew what I was doing, I was eyeing him. Then I realised again, more clearly that he was naked!!! My feet had stopped moving and I can feel my heart thump loudly in my ears. My face felt hot too and then for some reason, I remembered him touching himself when we were by the river. Furthermore, he has still cuts and in some cuts, blood was oozing out of them, teasing my nostrils.
Strangely, I felt a little tingle down the area between my.... OH NO!!! NO! NO! NO!! I placed my cool hands on my overheated face. Why am I feeling like this?!
He stopped, then. I wished he didn't though. But of course, the dog wanted to torture and humiliate me further. He sniffed the air and then growled low. For some evil reason, my body responded to it. It was embarassing, humuliating, sinful, unpleasant and disgusting! It was nature acting up. He did not turn to face me but stayed still. That was good, I thought as I paced, going around in circles with balled fists.
Various thoughts floated in and away in my head. The thoughts about Xander went straight to the bin, though. Then for some reason, my eyes found his broad shoulders. Tanned and packed with lean muscles, his body was fit.; On the other hand, I was not fat anymore or naive. He will protect me, love me and perhaps, if I played my cards right, he would serve me. I'd make him a dog; make him suffer a hundred times compared to my 17 years of suffering because of him. I will punish him for taking another mate; of being a man whose excuse for being a stupid womanizing jerk was his hormones and stupidity.
Without me knowing, my eyes had this wicked gleam in them. As my thoughts grew dark, a part of me knew the evil I was plotting and the injustice and immaturity of it. But this was fate giving me a chance of revenge. Fate was giving me a chance to prove myself. I will have a handsome lover, a mate and a pack. I would never have to see Xander ever again. With all the hate I have, I will never get hurt again.
I stepped closer to him. He took a deep pleasurable breath again. It made me smirk. I raised my hands, ignoring the fact they were shaking, to touch his skin. His arrms clenched as if they rose to meet my palm. It was amazing.
I could pretend that nothing was wrong. I could pretend that I do not have these scars. I could pretend that I am not going crazy with hate. I could pretend nothing went wrong. I could pretend that I fell in love. I could pretend that love did not ruin me.
I will pretend that I do not know he knows that I am going to pretend. I will pretend that I do not see that hope in his eyes; the acceptance, love and regret. I will pretend until I couldn't.
I closed my eyes and accepted an open kiss. I opened myself for him, feeling all of his warmth and relishing the strong arms secured around me. But not my heart. Never this scarred heart, so fragile that it can break at the most miniscule of another crack.
He smiled ruefully as if to say, I accept.
''I love you. I'll love you a lot. It will be more than enough for both of us and more.''
I pulled him back to me and pretended.
---Author's note---
Oh well, let's just hope she could pretend until she wakes up and not need to pretend anymore. Bittersweet right? Love can do alot of things to us. It's scary how it can hurt us so easily. How can it break years of friendships and families.
I LOVE YOU! my readers!!!!
-A. Delgado - 2011-2014-