A/N: The chapter title says it all, mate ;)
Also, don't forget to drop your thoughts in the comment section and vote if you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing what you guys think :) xo
/ dedicated to northwards who not only made the cover up above but is a lovely friend /
Happy reading!
My reflection of myself tonight was stunning. The soft hues of blue against my fair complexion looked appealing to the eye. The dress reached an inch below my knee. It was tight around the waist and it flared downwards. The bodice was a lighter shade than the bottom half, adorned with small white beads. I ran my finger over the beads, feeling my heart thrumming to a familiar song. I hadn't worn this dress in a long time and it surprised me that it still fit. It was a little tighter around the waist, and the zip was refusing to close now, but other than that it looked the same as it had seven years ago.
"Want me to help with that?" came a deep voice and I felt a chill run down my spine with the softness of his voice.
"Yes, please," I whispered back and I was certain he heard me even though he was a few metres away from me. My eyes lifted and met his in the mirror, keeping my gaze locked onto his as he closed the distance between us and skimmed his fingertips over the base of my neck, brushing away the hair that stood in the way.
His hand lowered down to the zip, and I felt his finger graze my skin, a hot desire rolled around in my stomach but the urge to cry hit me square in the chest at the same time and I wasn't sure what it was that I was feeling. The zip moved up in a slow pace and once it reached the top, his fingers grazed the nape of my neck and I involuntarily sighed, tilting my head to the side. My eyelids lowered and eventually closed. I marvelled in the familiar feel of his fingertips dancing leisurely on my neck.
"Madilyn," he whispered, his hot breath fanning the nape of my neck and causing a chill to slither down my spine and bring me back from the temporary fantasy his touch had put me in.
I opened my eyes and met his blue ones in the mirror. "Finn," I whispered back.
"You look beautiful tonight," he said, his deep voice hoarse.
"Thank you," I murmured but I knew he heard it just like I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking about what I was thinking—the last time I wore this dress; that rather exciting impulsive night.
"I should go," he said, his voice low and brushing against the back of my neck.
He didn't step away until I said thickly, hating that my voice was laced with heavy emotion, "You should. Bruce will be coming out of the bathroom any second. And you need to get dressed... The guests will be arriving soon."
Finn's features turned hard and I watched as his Adam's apple moved as he swallowed hard. He stepped back and nodded, offering me a smile but we both knew that I didn't buy his fake grins. "See you at the party," he said, his voice guarded but I knew he felt betrayed—hurt. There was nothing I could do to soothe his pain when I felt conflicted myself.
He turned and gave me his back. I watched his retreating figure as my eyes burned with a great intensity. The door closed behind him and I continued to stare at the wooden door, a lump stuck in my throat and my stomach turning was a hundred other emotions.
Bruce exited the bathroom and I started, yelping in surprise to the sudden noise. Blinking my eyes rapidly to get rid of any evidence that I was close to breaking down, I turned to Bruce with a smile on my lips, which instantly fell when he appeared in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Really?" I raised my eyebrow, trying to ignore my guilt. Everything that happened in the last five minutes was innocent and I had no reason to feel guilty—or so I tried to persuade myself.
"Nothing you haven't seen before," Bruce teased and it was true.
Giggling, I shook my head. I gave a small twirl and bowed low. "What do you think, Mr Vela?" I purred at him, giving him a quick wink.
He stared at me. He blinked once—twice. "You looked amazing," he replied breathlessly and there was a hard asserted emotion in those eyes that met mine as my smile slipped off my lips. He was making it harder and harder to not be guilty. Something flickered through his eyes and the second of vulnerability was gone before I could even process it. "I should get dressed," he said, a certain hardness in his voice that pierced through my heart.
"Okay," I nodded, pressing my lips together. "I should check up on Riley anyway." But I didn't move. I continued to stare at him dumbly, looking at him and hoping he could just read my mind. Oh Bruce, what the hell did I do?
Managing a smile when I realised he wasn't making a move until I left our room, I swallowed hard and turned around, heading out of the room. When I closed the door behind me, I leant against it, shutting my eyes tight and taking in a deep breath. Oh God, please give me strength to face the night.
* * * * *
Riley got whisked away by relatives the instant the party hit full swing and I lost my son among all his relatives. I met a few people that I hadn't met before. Some were interesting while others just fit the stereotype that the Adair family had become. I couldn't hold a conversation for long because there was one man on my mind. I couldn't get Bruce out of my head. I was convinced now that I did something to wrong him but a recollection of past events didn't make me find any reason why he was acting this way—like the charming man I met that day at the Golden Quaff and the next second a stranger who knew better than to lay his trust in me.
When dinner rolled around it was worse. Because then I'd come face to face with Bruce who managed to dodge me the entire evening. My parents always ordered a large table that we put inside the dining room but sitting next to a silent Bruce who was doing everything to avoid my eye made me feel suffocated. The table was becoming smaller and smaller and the walls were closing in.
Shaking my head and trying to focus I reached for his hand. He looked at me when my fingers skimmed over his hand. He gave me a smile but I could read right through it—he wasn't even trying to convince me that nothing was wrong anymore. He knew I knew.
"How did you meet?" came a sweet voice and I looked across the table to find cousin Alicia and Kevin, the closest pair of Adair siblings I've ever seen, looking at Bruce and I with interest.
"They met at Noah's café!" Riley chimed in. I looked to the other seat next to me and raised my eyebrows. What was he doing? He knew Alicia and Kevin gossiped like they weren't ever going to get a chance to do it again.
"That's so cute," Alicia cooed.
"Did you two hit it off instantly?" Kevin questioned just as Alicia said, "Speaking of Noah, where is he?"
Looking from one to the other I decided to answer Alicia's question since it was the safer one. "He's spending Christmas with someone special."
"Noah Watson finally has a girlfriend," Kevin gawked. I giggled and nodded, trying to ignore the jab at my heart when Bruce gently removed his hand from mine.
"He's off the market now," I laughed, trying to distract myself from the fact that Bruce removed his fucking hand in front of Alicia Adair who had the eyes of a fucking eagle.
"What a shame. It was fun while it lasted," Kevin chuckled. Kevin was a straight man but he had teased Noah endlessly about how he felt they were connected, that their attraction was unavoidable and inevitable. Noah didn't know that Kevin was playing with him all along and still doesn't—it may possibly be my fault. Flustered Noah was fun to watch so, really, I'm not to blame.
Riley occupied himself with his father that sat on his other side. As for myself—Alicia and Kevin provided me the dose of scandalous gossip about our family that I needed to distract myself from Bruce, who acted like nothing was out of the ordinary and that what scope Alicia and Kevin had to give interested him immensely.
Dessert came and went and so did a couple of drinks. I wasn't a light drinker but I thought I had one too many drinks since I couldn't even remember how many I had. I couldn't even remember feeling this amazing. When I got pissed—I got pissed. I was a happy drunk. Finn, on the other hand, had always been depressing when he was pissed.
The party was coming to a close and many of my relatives had left. I was still dancing when Riley found me. "Mum?"
"Riley," I giggled, jumping up and down before swooping down to give him a brief tight hug and smack a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "I missed you."
"What's wrong with you, Mum?" Riley questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
"Riley," came my mother's stern voice. "Go to your father. Your mother is not in the right state of mind."
I looked up to the woman who stood in front of me. Her blonde hair was tied into a tight bun, her green eyes holding disappointment and her lips pursed into a deep frown.
"You're no fun, Mum," I pouted, as I watched my son walk away from me.
My mother huffed angrily before she rolled her eyes and swiftly grabbed my arm, leading me away from our relatives, who were leaving, and towards the kitchen. "What's your problem?" Mum exploded, staring at me in disbelief.
"What's your problem?" I mimicked with an uncontrolled smile.
"I am being serious, Madilyn Betty Adair," Mum asserted herself firmly.
"About what?"
"You know what," she replied.
I rolled my eyes, huffing out dramatically. "You pull me away from the guests because you didn't want to cause a scene and yet you're starting one here," I said, pointedly.
My mother looked around and her features hardened. All the servants, maids, waiters and waitresses were looking at us like they were caught in the middle of doing something illegal—they probably felt so because my mother was so damn intimidating.
"Everyone, out!" she ordered and they all quickly scrambled out of the door, ready for an escape from Roselyn Adair.
"The Evil Queen is back," I joked, covering my mouth before the giggles spilt out.
"What is your problem, Madilyn?" she repeated.
"What is that supposed to mean? You're always speaking in code, Mum. For once just be straight with me," I said, smiling in encouragement.
"All right," she replied sharply, "You want straight. I'll give it to you. You are drunk, Madilyn."
I rolled my eyes, laughing. "You're acting like you've never been pissed in your life, Mum."
She flushed. "This is not about me. This is about you taking too many alcoholic drinks and acting like a total buffoon in front of your family," she scolded.
"That, or in front of Riley and Bruce—your future son-in-law."
Mum scoffed. "Bruce? My son-in-law? That's not happening."
I folded my arms across my chest, suddenly extremely angry. Who was she to dictate my feelings and life? I could like anyone I ever wanted, I could be with anyone I ever wanted and I could marry anyone I goddamned pleased.
"Don't look at me like that!"
"Why do you think Bruce becoming my husband is so hard to believe? He's a brilliant man," I defended.
"Is he?"
"What?"
"Is he a brilliant man, Madilyn?" my mother asked sternly.
"Of course he is, Mum!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air. I didn't understand why she was being so cryptic and what it was that she was getting at.
"Well," she said, "He may be brilliant but I'd be a goddamn fool if I didn't know he wasn't brilliant enough for you."
I frowned. "How would you know?" I asked quietly. Did she read my mind?
"Because I'm your mother. Bruce Vela is very reputable man and he is of noble standards. He's valuable. He could easily become an Adair. He would be welcome into this family. But he doesn't belong with you," she shook her head.
"You have no right to say that," I whispered, my voice shaking.
"Perhaps," she replied. "But I do have the right to see my daughter happy and what she is with that man is not happy."
I swallowed hard. She gave me one last look before she walked away. I watched her figure retreat out of the kitchen and a wave sadness rolled over me. I had always been a happy drunk. Considering I hadn't truly gotten pissed since Riley, maybe I had changed. Maybe I was like Finn—a sad drunk.
Alicia popped her head into the kitchen and smiled when she found me. "Hey Maddie!" she chirped. "I'm just coming to say goodbye. I was looking for you and Auntie Rose told me you were in the kitchen."
"Of course, Mum," I muttered under my breath. Smiling at Alicia, I said, "Come and tell your favourite cousin goodbye."
She rolled her eyes and giggling she stumbled into my open arms. Snaking her hands around my waist and giving me a tight hug, she joked, "Who told you that you're my favourite cousin?"
"I had my suspicions and you just proved it," I laughed as she let me go.
"You look tipsy," she commented, grinning wide.
"So do you," I winked.
We shared one look and burst into a fit of giggles, gripping each other's arm for support. She slung her arm around my neck and leant back on the kitchen counter, sighing deeply.
"Are you okay, Alicia?" I asked.
"The truth?" she asked, peering at me through her eyelashes and when I nodded, she said, "I got dumped and it sort of sucker punched me tonight to see you with Bruce."
I smiled confusedly, "Why?"
"Because you two reminded me of what I had with Falcon," she admitted quietly. "We fit, we were the same. He was a reflection of me. But he wasn't my better half. He was just more of me." She paused before she giggled, her frown stretching into a wide grin. "Oh, I am so pissed. Look at me—I barely make sense."
"Should I call Kevin?" I asked cautiously.
"No, that's okay. I'll go and find him. But before that—" she held up a finger "—I have one thing to ask you."
"What is it?"
"Do you love Bruce?"
I frowned, irritation riding through my system. "Why is everyone on my case about this?" I burst, flushed again. "We've only just started dating."
"Oh, Mads," she cooed, shaking her head, "You don't bring someone to a family dinner unless it's formal or you love him."
Anger took the place of my irritation but Alicia didn't deserve to be served that rage so I sighed and said, "It was good seeing you, Alicia. Give me a call sometime and if I can drive up to London then we can have lunch or something."
She smiled wide. "I'd love that! Merry Christmas, babe, and Happy-early-New Year!" Leaning in she kissed my cheek and gave me one last hug before she left the kitchen.
I needed to find Bruce. I needed to let go of this anger that was consuming more and more of me by the second but first I needed all the guests to leave. So I quickly rushed out of the kitchen to see the rest of the guests out.
Apparently all the guests had left except for Finn's parents who stood by the doorway. I could tell they were trying to have a civil conversation but when you put my mother and Finn's mother together you get hell. At least their husbands were there to hold them apart.
"Rebecca! Michael!" I exclaimed, when I saw them.
"There you are, missy," Rebecca, Finn's mother said. "I was going to come and look for you."
"Thank God you didn't," I laughed, "We're trying to get rid of all our guests."
"I think Rose can handle that," she laughed, winking at Mum. Mum simply gave her a tight-lipped smile in return and turned around before walking away. "I tell you what," Rebecca started, "How about you come over for New Year's. We'd be honoured to have you and Riley over, and Bruce if he's in the equation."
Her words ended like a question and I tried my best to keep the frown off my face. Everybody really was having fun by having a go at me about Bruce. "He's in the equation," I confirmed, my veins pumping with hot blood. "I'm not sure if I can make it though. We usually celebrate in Porte Orlands. It's a very special time for Riley and I."
"Of course," Rebecca nodded. "The invite is still open."
"That's great, Rebecca," I thanked, giving her a quick hug. "Thank you, too, Michael, for coming to dinner. You came out a survivor this year too, huh?"
He laughed. "I was serious when I said we could give Finn away and take you in."
"You flatter me too much, Michael."
The couple laughed and bid me farewell. When the last of our guests were out of the house, I closed the front door and took a deep breath. Spotting my mother I quickly closed in on her and abruptly asked her, "Have you seen, Bruce?"
"I saw him going upstairs," Mum replied distractingly as she ordered the servants around on what to clean and where to put everything.
That was all it took for me to go up the stairs, practically running from my mother to Bruce's and my room, hot blood pumping within my veins. I thrust open our door and there stood Bruce, innocently removing the buttons of his dress shirt. I banged the door behind me furiously and he looked up, startled with wide eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked. He actually looked concerned. How dare he?
"Am I okay?" I echoed, laughing manically, "I am not okay!"
Bruce looked confused and panicked at the same time. He didn't know what he was dealing with but I was going to show him exactly what he was dealing with.
"You bastard!" I yelled. "How can you treat me like this?"
He continued looking confusing like he truly didn't know which actions of his warranted this reaction out of me. "Treat you like what, Madilyn?"
"You know how you've treated me this week. You know how you've treated me tonight and you know that I know." His face hardened with each word I uttered. "But what I don't know is why you're being a complete and utter arse."
He didn't look confused anymore but he didn't look guilty either. His face had turned hard, his spite mirroring my own. "Don't act like you don't know what you did," he spat at me.
"Why the fuck would I be standing in front of you, angry as hell, if I knew what I did wrong?" I yelled, my face flushed with anger. "I'd try to rectify it."
"Would you?" he questioned, taking steps forward until he loomed above me. "You'd just do it again because your loyalties don't lie with me. They lie with the one person you never stopped loving."
I stared at him, processing his words in my head before I gaped, unable to believe the accusation he threw at my face. "Finn?" I burst. "This is about Finn?"
"This is always about Finn," he shouted, his voice raised above mine and his face was so close to mine I could practically feel the anger roll off of him in waves.
I laughed, shaking my head and stepping backwards. "Oh, sweetheart," I chuckled, "When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that Finn and I are over? He is just my son's father."
"I highly doubt that," he snapped back.
"You're acting like such a...what's the word you would use? Pussy? Why are you so damn insecure?"
"What?" he said, staring at me incredulously. "I am not insecure. Why don't you tell me what he truly is to you is not just your son's father? You wouldn't have lied to me otherwise."
I froze and my hot piping anger ran cold. My heart skipped a beat and my gaze locked on his for a tense second of silence. "What did you say?" I breathed, suddenly scared of the response I would get.
"You lied to me!"
"And... And you spied on me," I accused.
"Don't you dare," he shook his head. "I did not spy on you."
I took a step backwards, my breaths coming short. "How did you know I went to Finn's for lunch instead then?" I questioned, trying to pin him to the mess we were in.
He looked like I took a blow at him. He stepped back, rocked back on his heels and looked at me. Heartbroken. Betrayal. His features said it all before he even uttered the words, "I only suspected, you were acting so off, but I didn't know until you just confirmed it."
My face paled and my hands started to become clammy and sweaty. "I need to get out of here," I breathed heavily.
"Tell me, Madilyn, am I really to blame for acting like a jerk? I tried to forget it ever happened—that lie just didn't happen. But I couldn't and you just acting and kissing me like nothing happened was... It was nerve-wracking and it made me doubt and I don't like doubting when I'm falling in love with the woman who is standing in front of me right now."
His words made me swallow hard. I shook my head, my eyes searing. He couldn't pull that move. "No, you were still an arse."
He stepped forward, closing the distance between us, his face looming over mine and his expression unguarded—raw and laid out for me to see just how hurtful one mistake on my part was to him. "Fine, Madilyn. I'll admit it. I was a jerk. But who's more wrong in this situation? Me...or you?"
I shook my head again, unable to formulate a proper reply as I stepped back and repeated, "I need to get out of here."
"Yeah," he agreed, his face hardening with hurt. "You might as well run back to Finn."
The walls seemed like they were closing in on me. The second fight in the second week of our relationship. This was not right. This was not fair. This was... Oh God, I needed air. Turning around I marched through the door and when my hand reached the handle, I heard him say, so brokenly that my heart twisted along with his, "I thought so."
Swallowing back my tears, I jerked open the door and closed it behind me. I released a huge breath I hadn't realised I had been holding and leant back on the door, the will to support my body was beginning to abandon me.
My body shook and I slid down to the floor. I buried my head in my hands, waiting for the tears to come, waiting for the heartache to be released out into the open but the tears never came.
My body only racked with dry sobs.