Charlotte
"Are you sure you can't stay tonight, Luca?" Noah whined, leaning against the doorframe as Luca and I headed outside. I hadn't seen my brother in weeks, but he by the end of the evening, he was just as obsessed with Luca as I was. Possibly even more.
Watching Luca with my family was like something out of fairytale. He joked around and watched a hockey game on TV with my dad, pretended to lose at countless rounds of Mario Kart with my brother, and even helped my mom with the dishes when we finished eating. For a few hours, I forgot. I forgot about the danger I was in and who Luca really was. I forgot I was knowingly getting myself caught up in a Mafia Don, who would either break my heart or capture it in every sense of the word.
But still, tonight was perfect. It felt so real and so easy that when I remembered that it would never be like this again, it stung even deeper.
Choosing to stay with Luca would change everything about my life, and these simple , carefree evenings and time spent with my family would be few and far between. They could never know the truth about Luca, and we put them in danger just by being around them.
"We can't stay tonight, but we'll be back soon, I promise." Luca grinned, waving at Noah. I cringed, hoping he wasn't making promises to my little brother that he didn't intend on keeping. It was one thing for Luca to break my heart, but if my family got attached to him and this thing went south, that would be unbearable.
"Maybe we can catch a warm day and take the boat out." Josh suggested, giving me one last hug.
"That sounds great." Luca said.
"Love you guys!" I called over my shoulder as we headed to the car.
"See you soon!" My mom waved. "Let me know when you get home safe!"
Luca opened the door for me and then climbed in the car himself, and before I knew it, we were on our way back to New York.
There was a heavy silence between us as we drove—Luca focused on his coming meeting, and me lost in the uncertainty of what came next.
When I couldn't take the quiet anymore, I finally spoke.
"That was nice."
Luca reached for my hand, and swept his thumb along the back of it gently. "It was. I loved meeting your family. They're wonderful."
"I think they liked you, too." I agreed. "How long will your meeting be tonight?"
"Not long. I'll only be gone about two hours." He said. "Are you going to stay at my house?"
That's right. Luca was home now. There was no reason for me to stay with him—that is, unless I wanted to. "You're asking me?"
Luca smirked, shaking his head. "Yes. I'm not as concerned about security now that I'm back. My reasons for you staying at my house now would be purely selfish."
A deep blush blanketed my cheeks. Was it getting hot in here or was it just me?
"So what do you say?" He asked. "Are you going to go home and sleep alone, or stay at my house snuggled up warm in my bed until I get home?"
I wanted to say yes so bad, but there was still so much nagging uncertainty in my mind. It wasn't just the Mafia. It was Luca. He was a playboy—charming and dominant and well aware of just how desirable he was. I was outmatched, constantly feeling like I didn't measure up in his company. He was experienced in more ways than I could even comprehend, probably having slept with dozens of women. And my longest relationship had been with Grant, and even that ended up in smoke. This was new territory for me, and as nervous as I was about the Mafia, I was almost just as scared of not being good enough for him. Of turning into another notch on his bedpost. Of him dropping me the first moment someone younger and prettier came around.
"How many women have you done this with?" I asked, the words slipping out of my mouth with a cutting edge to them.
"What?" Luca let out a sharp laugh, glancing over at me briefly. "What do you mean?"
"This." I waved my hand in the air. "Take them out, get them to fall for you, make all these fancy promises you have no intention of keeping."
"You forgot the part where I save them from nearly being killed by international assassins. Don't I get any credit for that?" He smirked, teasingly. "First of all, I get you're apprehensive. I don't have the best reputation when it comes to relationships, but that's because I don't like to lead women on. The second I stop being interested, I end it and I don't waste anyone's time. And for the record, I may have slept with a lot of women, but I haven't shared my bed with a single woman, besides you, ever. That's a personal space to me, and you're the first. And I haven't made you a single promise I don't intend to keep. I think I made it clear that I am all in on this, so the ball is in your court here, Tesoro. You're in control."
I was almost too stunned to speak. His admission was the last thing I was expecting, but he had quieted every negative thought in my mind. All that I was left with was the swooning heart eyes I'd been trying to fight off since the moment we met. It may be crazy, and I may come to regret it, but I was all in too.
"Okay."
"Okay?" He arched an eyebrow. "That's all you've got to say?"
"I'm all in, too, Luca." I was unable to contain my smile. It felt nice to say it out loud, with no more inhibitions.
"Good." He said.
"You don't need to have any doubts, Charlotte. I may have been with a lot of women, but you're the one I chose. You're the only one who matters. The one I want. And I'll do everything I can to keep you safe and happy."
"You know what would make me happy right now?" I asked, deciding to try my luck.
"Probably not the same thing that will make me happy." He chuckled. "What is it?"
"Can we play twenty questions Mafia edition? I want to know more about you. Its not fair that you know everything there is to know about me, and I know the bare minimum about you."
"We can play five questions." He offered. "And only because you're adorable when you bat your eyelashes at me like that. I need to get myself prepared for my meeting so make it quick."
"Yes, sir." I smirked, knowing how much it flustered him when I spoke that way. Dominance was Luca's strongest personality trait, and it drove him wild when I showed any kind of submission. Even if I was just teasing.
"How old were you?" I asked. This had been something that was burning on my mind since he told me about his family.
"When I joined? On my fourteenth birthday, Antonio and my dad took me down into the tombs. That's what we call the cells where we keep prisoners." He explained, glancing over to gauge my reaction. "They just killed a man. Someone who once was one of our own. But he gave another group information that ended up getting several of our guys killed. They tortured him for days and finally put him out of his misery. Once you turn fourteen, you become what they call a scrub. Basically, it means you're on clean up and any other chores that the group needs done. They wanted me to clean out the cell. I'll never forget the overwhelming, metallic smell of the blood. It took me three days to clean it all up and I threw up twice."
My stomach churned as he told his story. It seemed inconceivable to me. He was so young when he thrown into this world and it broke my heart. I reached over and put my hand on his thigh, he grabbed it and rubbed the top of it with his thumb.
"Next question?" He asked, wanting to move on from this as quickly as possible.
"Is it like a gang, like can you get out once you get in?" Mostly I wanted to know if this was what my life would be like forever if I chose to stay with him.
"We're much more sophisticated than a gang." Luca scoffed. "Like I told you, all of my people are here willingly. They can leave whenever they want, but most of the time people like the lifestyle it provides."
"What do you mean? People chose to be surrounded by violence and having each decision they make controlled?" I was curious now. So far, I hadn't seen much more of this life than violence and secrets and I couldn't imagine that being the draw.
Lucas started laughing. "You have so much to learn about this, Charlotte. Not everything is about control and violence. People who work for me run clubs and hotels and businesses. Very few of them have actually hurt anybody. I'm involved in most of the big things because that's my job, I am the Don so I have to be. But you can certainly be a part of our family, and not be involved in the violence. Only a small portion of my men are. And certainly not the women."
"You don't have women work directly with you?"
"I have a few. They're mostly undercovers or informants."
"So do they join for protection?" I asked, again wondering why anyone ever would if they weren't desperate.
"People join for all kinds of reasons. Some of us were born into it, it's what our father's father's fathers did. There are hundreds of years of tradition in this family. Most of my soldiers and workers are here because they're running from something. Both the men and the women. Addictions, debts, abusive situations. Sometimes I don't even know. That's kind of the beauty of this. Their pasts don't matter, we don't ask questions, people can completely reinvent themselves here. No one is forced to do anything, they can leave whenever they want, but most people don't. Sometimes it's the only family they've ever known. Not everyone is fortunate enough to grow up in stable families on a beautiful beachside home in Rhode Island. People want to feel like they are loved, and that they're contributing to something. Being a part of this family gives them that. Although, the money and notoriety aren't half bad either."
He kept using that word—family. That was bizarre to me, but a twisted way, I guess it made sense. He was right about one thing; I was very fortunate to grow up in the situation that I did. Not everyone had a loving family and a safe home and food on the table each night. When he put it that way, it made more sense.
"Is that why you stayed all this time?"
His face hardened and he took a minute before answering. "I've stayed because it's what I was born to do. Angelo, Carlo, all of us, we were practically bred for this shit. It's so ingrained in me now, that I wouldn't even know how to lead a normal life."
"So, if you would have had the choice, you wouldn't have joined?"
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I could tell how uncomfortable Luca became. He shifted in his seat and scratched his chin, avoiding all eye contact with me.
"Whether or not I would've made the choice to join is irrelevant. The fact is I'm here now." His voice was calm and emotionless. But I could feel the coldness radiating off of him. My question had struck a nerve and completely shut the door on any information I was going to get out of him. "I think that's probably enough for tonight."
Deciding not to push it, I intertwined my fingers in his as I gazed out the window, letting the subject die. I struck a nerve with Luca tonight, and didn't want to completely shut him down.
"Why is this so important to you? Knowing all of the stuff? It surely can't make you feel better."
"I want to understand." I said. "I want to know what I'm getting into and what I'm going to have to live with. I don't want to lie awake every night wondering where you are and if you're safe and worrying I'm never going to see you again."
"You don't need to be worried, Charlotte. I promise. I am good at what I do—the best there is. Nothing is going to happen to me, and if it was, you knowing the dirty details won't stop it." He brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles gently. "Now, we don't have much farther left, why don't you just close your eyes and relax?"
"Okay." Maybe he was right. Maybe knowing all about what he was doing would only make this worse on me.