"Choi!"
Soobin kept walking.
"Soobin!"
Soobin kept walking, but faster.
"Choi Soobin!"
Soobin stopped, turning around, glaring. "What the hell do you want?!" He snapped in annoyance, and saw the blue haired boy standing in front of him, frowning.
"I don't like being ignored." Yeonjun whined.
"Well, I don't like being treated like shit, so I guess we're both losers." Soobin said, turning back around to walk away.
It was Monday morning today. There were still 20 minutes left before the classes start, and Soobin wasn't in the mood for Yeonjun's bullshits.
When Soobin went back to his dorm after last night, he decided that he hates Yeonjun.
By hates, he means he still has a fat-fucking-crush on Yeonjun to the point it hurts for Yeonjun to treat him so bad.
"Listen, Bin. I really want to talk to you." Yeonjun said, walking alongside Soobin.
"Well, I don't."
"Then just listen!" Yeonjun snapped, grabbing Soobin's arm, and turned him around.
"Listen to what? What you did with Lucy? Did you have fun? Did you fuck her?-" Soobin started, and Yeonjun sighed, and then dragged Soobin into the janitor's closet, walking in and closing the door behind them.
Yeonjun pressed Soobin against the wall, and Soobin looked at him angrily for a few seconds, and then heard Yeonjun let out a chuckle.
"I didn't sleep with her."
Soobin paused, "What?"
"I never even ended up texting or calling her. I guess I felt bad for what happened. I'm just confused over it, but I shouldn't have said those things to you." Yeonjun said, and Soobin gulped.
"Isn't it weird, though? I mean, what would you feel if you hang out with someone and then suddenly they call you her or his boyfriend?" Yeonjun said slowly, making sure his words are valid.
"I know I said it's disgusting, but I wasn't talking about the gay thing, you know that it's fine to me, right? I was talking about how you say I'm your boyfriend, when clearly I'm not. It's still inappropriate, Bin." Yeonjun continued.
Soobin gets his point, and it's utterly correct. It's not right to call someone yours if clearly, they aren't. It surely hurts for Soobin, because he wanted Yeonjun to be his.
"I get it." Soobin answered, giving Yeonjun a small smile.
"Bin, what I'm trying to say is that I shouldn't have been so unnecessarily harsh." Yeonjun mumbled, looking away. Something Soobin discovered from Yeonjun when he's apologizing.
Yeonjun continued looking to the side, so Soobin poked his cheek, making Yeonjun looked at him. "I don't say sorry to anyone, so you better take this well." Yeonjun said, and Soobin laughed.
"Try me." Soobin said, then reached his hands to grab Yeonjun's shirt, "I accept your apology. I was just upset because you were mean. In the arcade we had such a good time, but you started flirting with that girl-"
"What about it?"
"Um.. I mean, I was right there-"
"Woah- wait!" Yeonjun said, taking a step back. "Are you seriously upset because I got her number?"
"A little? I thought it was insensitive of you-" Soobin started, but cutted off by Yeonjun again.
"Bin? We're not together." Yeonjun said straightforward, not knowing how that sent a pang to Soobin's stomach.
"We're fuck buddies. Nothing more, nothing less."
Soobin looked at him with big eyes, "I know!"
"Good. It should be clear to you. We agreed to be into it. Just fuck buddies, Bin. Ya know the rules there, right? Don't confuse yourself." Yeonjun said, and Soobin nodded.
"I can flirt with girls, hell, even sleep with them if I want to, and you can also flirt with whoever you want." Yeonjun said.
Soobin nodded as quickly as he could, trying his hardest to ensure Yeonjun doesn't notice even a bit of his hesitance and tensed state. Yeonjun nodded, guessing Soobin understood.
"We fuck, and that's it." Yeonjun said, "Nothing more."
"Nothing less." Soobin added with a forced small smile.
"Cool. Anyways, we should probably head to the room now. Classes will start." Yeonjun noted, and then, walks out. Walked out like his words didn't just send Soobin's stomach in a churn.
Soobin stayed there in the janitor's closet for a few seconds after Yeonjun walked out, standing there by himself.
Why was Soobin so fucking stupid? 17 years without a single crush, and the moment he had one, it had to be the biggest fuckboy in their school— who won't accept that he's not straight, and sees Soobin as someone to fuck and nothing more.
Soobin stood against the wall, looking down at the floor, trying to manage his thoughts. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. 'We fuck, and that's it.'
Soobin felt like crying. Why couldn't he understand that? Why was his heart so goddamn stupid? Why did it have to burst at the mere sight of Yeonjun? Why did his stomach have to erupt with butterflies when Yeonjun smiled? Why did his mind make up stupid scenarios of Yeonjun calling him his baby— why? Just why?
Soobin knew what he had to do. Break things off with Yeonjun. Go back to being frenemies. Pretend that the last few weeks never happened. Go back to see him as an annoying ass bitch. Nothing more. Nothing less.
That's the only option. If he tells Yeonjun he had a crush on him, he may or may not get humiliated, right? But he didn't want to risk this time.
So he'll go for the only option. Great. Awesome. Soobin loved this plan. He clenched his fists all righteous, but then, the door of the janitor's closet reopened. Soobin looked to the side and saw Yeonjun.
Do it now, Soobin thought.
Yeonjun walked into the tiny room, closing the door behind him. Soobin gathered up his courage.
"Yeonjun, I think we should-" Soobin started, but then Yeonjun grabbed his waist and leaned in, pressing their lips together.
Soobin felt his hands reach up to Yeonjun's neck rather needy, feeling himself fall into the kiss and letting Yeonjun play with his tongue. Soobin ran his hands through Yeonjun's hair, tilting his head a little to kiss him harder, wet and warm feeling between them.
Yeonjun pulled away, and looked at Soobin's eyes, cheeks tinted red, lips parted. Soobin gulped, "W-what was that?"
"Nothing." Yeonjun whispered, dragging his plump lips down Soobin's cheek, to his jaw. "Let's skip History."
Soobin whimpered, hands draping over Yeonjun's shoulders. "No! Teacher will get mad at us." Soobin mumbled, and already felt Yeonjun's hard boner against his thigh.
"Just this once. I won't make Mr. Straight A student skip class again." Yeonjun snickered, and Soobin blinked at him.
I wanted to break things off with him, just once. Soobin thought. Fuck it.
Soobin felt himself fall down on his knees in front of Yeonjun, a quiet familiar position to look vulnerable. He looks up at Yeonjun, willing to submit.
Yeonjun let out a slight grunt. Soobin brought his hands to Yeonjun's pants and unzip it, pulling his boxers down a little bit until Yeonjun's cock was freed.
Yeonjun brought his cock to Soobin's lips, and the black haired boy opened his mouth wide, wanting nothing more than to have the throbbing hard-on pressing to the inner walls of his mouth.
God, this was humiliating. How fucking needy he was for Yeonjun, and Yeonjun only. As he felt Yeonjun's cock in his mouth and Yeonjun's hands in his hair, he realized.
Realized that he couldn't break things with Yeonjun. Clearly not now, not when Soobin's knees are on the ground, and mouth opened— just for Yeonjun.
And it's fine— Soobin has feelings for Yeonjun, and totally falling for him. Who cares? Soobin didn't want to break this fun fuck buddy relationship with Yeonjun.
And it's fine— Yeonjun will never gonna like him back, he doesn't even give a shit about Soobin, though.
And it's fine— Soobin knows his heart might end up being broken in the end.
But for now, it's fine. As long as Yeonjun needs him as fuck buddies, it's fine.
After a few more minutes of mouth-fucking and practically choking Soobin on purpose, Yeonjun came down Soobin's throat, and Soobin lapped it up, licking his lips and gulping it down.
Yeonjun grinned, and Soobin got up. Yeonjun looked down at Soobin's crotch, and Soobin blushed, looking away. He was hard.
"Come here." Yeonjun said, and Soobin blushed, walking closer to him. Yeonjun wrapped his arms around his waist and pinned him to the wall.
Before Soobin realized what was going on, Yeonjun began sucking hickeys on his neck, pulling Soobin's zipper down and taking his cock out. Soobin whimpered, gripping Yeonjun's shoulders.
Yeonjun continued sucking the hickey onto Soobin's neck, while the taller boy began bucking his hips in Yeonjun's hands.
Yeonjun reached his ass behind and smacked it twice. "Y-yeonjun, t-touch me..." Soobin whimpered.
Yeonjun reached down and wrapped his hand around Soobin's cock. Soobin felt Yeonjun sucking more hickeys onto his neck, and it only took 6 or 7 jerks for Soobin to cum, splashing onto Yeonjun's hand.
"Sorry." Soobin said, and Yeonjun leaned to the side and grabbed a tissue to wipe it off, chucking it into the bin.
Soobin and him got redressed properly, and Yeonjun kissed his neck, admiring his work he did on Soobin's neck. Soobin reached his fingertips over his neck and sighed.
"You didn't give me too many hickeys, right?" Soobin asked.
Yeonjun smirked mischievously, "Of course not."
Soobin reached for the door, and the moment they walked out, they gasped.
It was the principal of the school, Mr. Hyun. He was standing right outside the janitor's closet, arms crossed, eyebrow raised.
Soobin and Yeonjun froze, eyes wide. They probably looked questionable. Yeonjun looked scared as hell and Soobin had his lips plump, swollen and red, dark red spots over his neck, eyes big— guilty. Also, they were both skipping class.
Easy to say, they were screwed.
| principal's office |
Soobin and Yeonjun sat in the principal's office.
Yeonjun sat slumped, looking annoyed, a little scared, unbuttoned shirt and mimicking the principal's expression earlier.
Meanwhile, Soobin looked scared shitless, head in his hands, shirt tucked in and hair neat.
The principal found them in the janitor's closet, and looked very angry. Soobin opened his mouth, but only a scared, quivering "S-sorry-" came out. So the principal didn't say a word and told them to go to his office in an angry tone.
"This is so bad! So bad, so so so fucking bad!"
"I know." Yeonjun mumbled, looking at the clock on the wall in annoyance.
The principal wasn't there yet, and Yeonjun was getting frustrated, "You think he knows you sucked my dick in there?"
Soobin placed his hands against his face, groaning, "He's going to k-know I had a dick in my mouth, a-and I won't get into college because I had your d-dick in my mouth-"
"Stop overreacting." Yeonjun said, and Soobin looked at him, "It's either he'll tell us off and never do it again or detention."
"Detention?! Jun, I've never had detention!" Soobin cried.
Yeonjun scoffed, "Nerd. The worst thing that will happen is that we get expelled-" Yeonjun said, and Soobin let out a pitiful cry, covering his face again.
"Expelled?! I literally rather die!"
"Shut up! We're not gonna get expelled. A lot of students bunk classes all the time. It's a fuckin' boarding school!" Yeonjun snapped, and Soobin sniffled.
"Jun, my parents already hate me because I'm gay, I don't even know what will happen if the principal tells them this. Any chances of me going what I wanted after high school will be demolished!" Soobin cried, and Yeonjun looked at him for a few seconds.
The door to the office opened, and Soobin instantly sat straight, while Yeonjun stayed put. The headmaster walked in, glancing at the two, and sat down at his desk.
"Bunking classes are the utmost act of juvenility. That wasn't a new case, but I wanna know why the two of you bunked." The principal spoke gravely.
Yeonjun looked at him and rolled his eyes, "Drugs."
Soobin looked at him and widened his eyes, as if telling him to shut up.
The principal chuckled, clearly not finding any humor in what Yeonjun said, "Is this some kind of joke to you, Yeonjun?"
Soobin spoke up before Yeonjun could say anything dumb, "Sir, w-we acknowledge that we should've b-been in class, I p-promise this will n-never happen again-" Soobin started.
"I'm glad you acknowledge throwing away your future." The principal said lowly, and Yeonjun scoffed.
"Oh no! Soobin, would you look at that? The plant isn't yet watered, how can they release oxygen? How will we ever get into college?" Yeonjun said dramatically.
"Watch your limits, Mr. Choi!" The principal shouted angrily, and Yeonjun snickered and looked to the side. The principal turned and looked at Soobin.
"I understand that Yeonjun doesn't take this seriously, but you, another Mr. Choi? This is highly disappointing coming from you."
Soobin looked down, cheeks burning in embarrassment. "I-I'm sorry-"
"Sorry won't cut it. Do you ever realize this will affect your studies? This is disappointing!"
Yeonjun was looking at Soobin, who was looking at his feet, and saw tears rising in Soobin's eyes. Soobin didn't want to cry, he really didn't. It's just that he was rarely ever yelled at. He was always such a good student. Always made the effort to get A's and A+'s.
So it sucked that this had to happen. And yeah, it made him want to cry.
Yeonjun's breath hitched, and quickly looked at the principal. "It's not his fault.", Soobin sniffled, looking at him in a slight confusion.
"Excuse me?" The principal asked, and Yeonjun sat up, looking away, but then looked at the principal again.
"I forced him to skip class, 'cause I didn't do my homework and forced him to do it. It's all my fault." Yeonjun said the last part softly, but then looked away, and Soobin's eyes twinkled.
The principal paused for a few seconds, and then sighed, "That is a serious case, Mr. Choi. We don't handle any kind and form of bullying in this school, do you understand?"
Yeonjun nodded, and the principal spoke again, "Soobin, you can go now. Mr. Choi will stay here for a while." The principal said, eyeing Yeonjun. Soobin nodded hastily, getting up and walking to the door, giving Yeonjun a lingering look.
| field |
Soobin didn't see Yeonjun for the rest of the day. When the school ended, Soobin saw Yeonjun in the field— he was sitting on the benches, looking around the field and taking a deep breath.
Soobin rushed up to him, and taps his shoulder, "Jun! Everything alright?" He asked, and Yeonjun looked at him.
Yeonjun gave him a small smile, "Yeah, of course." Yeonjun said, and Soobin frowned.
"Did the principal say something?" Soobin asked, and Yeonjun hummed, and stands up to walk away.
Soobin grabbed Yeonjun's arm, pulling him back. "Talk to me." Soobin said softly, and Yeonjun turned around.
Yeonjun looked a little annoyed, but faded away upon seeing Soobin's face, "Fine. In the art supply room." Yeonjun said, and Soobin nodded.
Yeonjun grabbed Soobin's hand and quickly walked through the art supply room, which was empty as always. They entered and closed the door behind them.
Yeonjun sighed, and sits on the chair he found. "What's wrong?" Soobin asked, walking up to him.
"Nothing. Let's fuck or whatever." Yeonjun growled, gripping his hair and looks down, letting his elbows put on his knees.
"Hey, Jun! Come on, don't do this to yourself." Soobin said softly, "I'll listen."
Yeonjun looked at Soobin, and Soobin brought his hands to Yeonjun's shoulder and caress it. Yeonjun gulped, still looking a little hesitant.
Soobin pushed Yeonjun's shoulder a little to free his lap and Soobin climbed onto it. He cupped Yeonjun's cheeks and kissed him. Yeonjun closed his eyes, resting his hands on Soobin's waist. Soobin kissed him for a little longer, and then pulled away.
Soobin touched Yeonjun's nose with his own, "Talk to me."
Yeonjun's eyes were still closed, and when he finally opened them— Soobin saw tears.
Soobin's breath hitched, and Yeonjun blinked them away, looking vulnerable. Yeonjun tried his hardest to hold back his tears.
"Don't hold it in. No one's here to judge you, come on." Soobin whispered softly, and Yeonjun felt his tears roll down his cheeks, looking away from Soobin.
"The p-principal mailed my father." Yeonjun spoke, voice shaking. Soobin tilted his head a little, and Yeonjun continued. "And h-he told me I was worsening m-my life."
"That's not true!" Soobin said, but Yeonjun didn't listen.
"My father called me during lunch." Yeonjun said, voice cracking a little, gripping Soobin's waist lightly.
"He was so fucking angry, and said that I wasn't good at anything-" Yeonjun almost whispered the last part, and Soobin wrapped his arms around Yeonjun's neck.
"All of that isn't true, Jun." Soobin said with assurance, worried when he felt Yeonjun's nose in the crook of Soobin's neck, crying out.
Soobin hugged him tighter, kissing Yeonjun's forehead. On the other hand, Yeonjun didn't mind it— this is what he needs right now. For him, this is so comforting, he felt like he had nothing to hide.
He needs someone to know what he feels.
He needs someone to understand him.
He needs someone to lean on.
He needs someone to hear him out.
He needs someone no other than Soobin.
But he wouldn't admit it. Not now.
Maybe not ever.
"I-I miss h-her so fucking much." Yeonjun let out in a small voice, and Soobin felt his stomach hitched.
"Huh? Who?" Soobin asked, hoping the answer wasn't what he thought it was.
"My mother." Yeonjun answered, "I want her to be h-here again." Yeonjun whispered, tears streaming down his face, voice shaking.
"I'm really sorry that happened, you didn't deserve any of that." Soobin said, feeling a lump in his throat.
Soobin pulled away from the hug, hoping he wasn't making Yeonjun uncomfortable. But before he could, Yeonjun hugged him tighter, pulling him closer.
"Don't go." Yeonjun let out.
"I won't." Soobin replied quickly, then kissed Yeonjun's forehead again. "I won't leave you, okay?"
"Stay, p-please." Yeonjun said, and Soobin nodded, letting his eyes rest as he laid his cheek atop of Yeonjun's head.
Yeonjun held Soobin for a while, while Soobin held Yeonjun. It was peaceful in the small art room, while the sun poured in, dimming into the late afternoon of the day. All they heard was the far away chatter of students outside.
For a while, it was just them. Just Yeonjun and Soobin, in the small art room, holding each other, slipped into a little trance where all they had was comfort and heavy hearts.
All they had was each other for that time, and it was perfect.
After a while, Yeonjun pulled away from the hug, looking down. He let out a little chuckle, cheeks wet with tears, "God, I'm such a dramatic bitch."
"You're not." Soobin said, wiping Yeonjun's cheeks, "You're very strong." Soobin whispered.
Yeonjun looked at Soobin slowly, "Um- she... she passed away when I was 12. Colon cancer." Yeonjun said, words barely leaving his mouth.
Soobin nodded slowly, knowing how to keep quiet. "She was such a good mother, Bin. She was younger than him, much younger. And I completely know why she stayed." Yeonjun said softly.
"He used to beat the fuck out of my mother in every chance he gets, like every part of her body is covered with dark bruises which is annoyingly made me realized that my father isn't a human nor an animal, he's way more than that. Fuck."
"After she passed away, it was just me and my father, and I fucking hated him. Well, he didn't like me either, so when I was 13, he sent me here, to a boarding school." Yeonjun continued.
"I was glad he did. I needed change. I can't stay in that town for long, seeing all the faces of people who never gave a damn about my mother and knows nothing but to pretend that they care? Bullshit." Yeonjun said, Soobin looked at his eyes, seeing nothing but anger and sadness.
"So when I came here, I closed myself off. Dyed my hair, started dressing differently, acting mean and made sure no one knew my name— because if they knew my name, they'll know what happened." Yeonjun said.
"A name holds everything about the person. Where they're from, their family, their past. Just too much."
"So I made sure everyone called me Yeonjun. I talked to the football coach about it when I was 13. He was always nice to me. He even recruited me into the high school team even though I wasn't in high school yet. He told the school board to call me Yeonjun, and I'm glad he did. That's also why I never had a roommate I guess." Yeonjun explained.
Soobin smiled a little, and then let his thumb trace Yeonjun's cheekbone, "Don't worry, I like your name. Daniel means 'God is my Judge'." Soobin said jokingly.
Yeonjun looked at him for a few seconds, and then gasped, "What? Did you really search my name on the internet?-"
"No!" Soobin squeaked, and then Yeonjun started laughing. Soobin blushed, hitting Yeonjun on the chest. "Okay, fine! But it's not a big deal!"
"It is! God, you're so cute!" Yeonjun chuckled, leaning up to kiss Soobin firmly.
Soobin felt his breath hitch and stomach explode with butterflies while he kissed him back. "I'm cute."
"Very."
Soobin giggled, "By the way, I never thanked you for lying to the principal back there. It was really nice of you." Soobin whispered.
"That's not a big deal. You were about to cry and I know how much this school means to you. Plus, it was really my fault." Yeonjun snickered.
Soobin smiled for a little, and then leaned forward and kissed him again. "It was very gentlemanly of you."
"I'm always a gentleman, Soobin."
"Yeah, you burped at Beomgyu's face yesterday!"
"I'm always a gentleman around you."
"Yeah, you literally bend me over your lap any chance you get and try spanking me-" Soobin started, and then squealed in laughter when he felt Yeonjun grab his hips and bend him over his lap.
"No~" Soobin whined, and Yeonjun smacked his ass a couple of times. Soobin blushed, kicking his legs in the air, feeling Yeonjun spank his ass again.
"I hate you! You have a serious spanking kink, Jun. It's bad."
"I don't!"
"Yes, you do! You try to spank me ALL the time!"
"No, I don't! Shut up-" Yeonjun mumbled, spanking Soobin again.
Soobin turned around and looked at Yeonjun. He sat up on his lap, sitting sideways now. Soobin smiled a little at how Yeonjun wiggled his eyebrows, and he just wanted to spend more time with him.
He didn't wanna come off as weird, or like he had a crush on him or something weird. So Soobin kept quiet, getting up from Yeonjun's lap.
"Binnie?" Yeonjun said, and Soobin hummed, "Can I see you paint?"
Soobin felt a warm blush reach his cheeks, "Y-you wanna see that?"
Yeonjun got up from the chair, smirking at Soobin, "Of course I do, Binnie. Especially the one you were telling Huening about at lunch yesterday. Remember? The one inspired from the 1970's feminist movement- with the pink paint and stuff? It sounded really interesting."
Soobin eyes turned big, he stood there for a few seconds, and then speak, "Yes!! I painted a bit of it today! Wanna see?"
"Isn't that what I asked?" Yeonjun snickered, and Soobin blushed.
"Sorry." Soobin said, and then turned to reach for the door of the small art supply room to walk out towards the normal art room.
Yeonjun walked behind him, and then wrapped his arm around Soobin's waist. "You're really adorable, baby."
Soobin blushed, poking Yeonjun's side. "Not in bed, though." Soobin winked.
"Sure." Yeonjun scoffed, and Soobin giggled.
Another bunch of butterflies flying freely in his tummy.
today's date: 08/04/2020