September 9th, 2016.
"How many followers did you say I have?" Dinah asks her for what feels like the fifth time. "Because like, maybe we should start a girl group if I'm going to get hella famous on Instagram."
Camila rolls her eyes. "You have like, nearly three million? And the whole point is to do things for the love of the music."
"I like music," Dinah answers, "but I like getting likes on my cute pics, too."
"Trust me, you post a lot of selfies," Camila responds, sitting down on her bed when Dinah finally finishes up her makeup. "I mean, I post a decent amount, too. So does Mani. Ally's mostly group pictures and baking. And Lauren's feed is a clusterfuck of political rants and pictures of herself."
"I bet you stalk her constantly," Dinah snorts with laughter, "so like, this Lauren that's in- uh, your world or whatever, does she know you like her?"
"I- I don't like her, okay?" Camila defends herself. "I mean, I used to. We were almost something, but she was questioning herself and I was too scared to do anything. The next thing I know, she's dating Lucy. Towards the end of everything, she stopped caring about me. We don't talk anymore and she even went as far to unfollow me on Instagram. Twice."
"You know, you've kind of neglected telling me what you did," Dinah points out, quickly spraying some hairspray and smoothing out her dress, "I mean, we can't have all hated you for just leaving."
"That's not important," Camila cuts over her and shakes her head, the word hate causing her heart to sink. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to talk to Lauren on good terms and wake up so I can go back to my damn life already."
"No need to get all bitchy," Dinah huffs, "god, you really are different."
Camila frowns at her. "What do you mean?"
"One day, you're your normal, dorky self, and the next, you're telling me that everything is a dream and that you're actually famous. That we're actually famous," Dinah explains. "And I know I said I believed you, but... I mean, I can't tell if you're pranking me or not. Getting me back for teasing you around Shawn."
"Shawn's like a brother to me." Camila replies. "It's not a joke, Dinah. I wish it fucking was."
"It's just, the part that gets to me is how you're saying it's all a dream," Dinah continues, gesturing around them. "Like, all of this. Because I know it's not. This is all real, and-"
"Only crazy people say they woke up in another universe or something," Camila interrupts, "I'm not crazy. I don't know what the fuck is going on, and I just want to wake up. This can't be real, okay?"
"Want to test it?" Dinah sits down next to her, and after a few moments, punches Camila in the arm. "Did you feel that?"
"Yes," Camila answers, rubbing her arm, already feeling a bruise blossoming. "Was that really necessary?"
"Well, you can't feel pain in dreams, right? It was either punching you or pushing you in front of a car and seeing if you died or not." Dinah explains herself, sending her a small, teasing grin. "So there. This is real. Maybe where you came from is a dream and you just woke up now."
"I'd remember all of this if it was," Camila huffs and stands up, "let's just... give this topic a rest for now. It's giving me a headache. Besides, we're going to be late for the party."
"Do you think my Camila is where you're from?" Dinah continues on as if she hadn't heard her, but follows Camila out of the door. "God, she'd be a fucking mess. She'd go all trigger happy with her twitter posts, especially after noticing the amount of followers, and probably make some bad jokes about how people are finally appreciating her comedic genius."
Camila frowns to herself. If that happened, god knows what she'd wake up to. "Yeah... let's hope that's not happening."
After a quick car ride, where Dinah keeps talking about her Camila, they arrive at the party, which is already in full swing. Over the loud music, Dinah tells her, "I'm going to get drinks," and leaves Camila's side, and the Latina nods, watching her go.
With Dinah not at her side, she feels even more out of her depth than she usually would. She wanders around aimlessly, trying to find a place to sit, and when she spots a couch, pushes past a few people to sit down.
She lets out a sigh when she does, because she hates parties, and this is genuinely the last place she wants to be, but if there's a chance she can talk to Lauren, then there's a chance she'll get back to her actual life.
"You don't look happy."
Camila looks up in surprise, not expecting the voice, but she relaxes when she realises that it's Shawn. "I'm not."
"Dinah drag you here or something?" He asks, sitting down next to her. "Because I don't think I've ever seen you around at any of these parties before, Mila."
"I'm not a party person," Camila answers with a shrug, "I'm more of a stay in and write music in my bedroom kind of person."
"I feel that," Shawn flashes her a smile, "but I like the occasional party. It's good to hang out with friends, meet people. Stuff like that."
"Yeah," Camila hums in reply, "you haven't seen Lauren Jauregui around, have you? I wasn't sure if she's here or not."
Shawn sends her a knowing smile. "You know what I told you, Mila. She's taken. Besides, we have to keep flirting with each other in public so neither of us are outed."
Camila's eyes widen. "Um... what?"
Shawn frowns. "Our pact? We made a deal that we'd fake flirt, maybe even fake date until we're ready to come out."
"I'm not- I'm not gay," Camila shakes her head, "I'm- I'm..."
"Hey," Shawn grabs her hand and squeezes it, "you don't have to tell me again. I know it was hard enough for you to say the first time."
Before Camila can say anything else, Shawn stands up, says goodbye and makes his way over to the drinks. Camila frowns to herself – she's definitely not gay. Even though she's never really labelled her sexuality before, and she doesn't care either way, she knows she's not gay. She's liked boys before, like Austin.
But she's liked girls too. She knows she's something, but it shouldn't be labelled. Not in her opinion.
She decides to get up and find Dinah, so she heads in the direction she last saw her friend go, hoping that she's still in the kitchen getting drinks. When she spots Dinah pouring a second drink, Camila grins.
"Oh, thank god," She grabs Dinah's arm, "I need to talk to you."
"Here," Dinah passes her a drink, and Camila takes it in her free hand, before tugging her friend out of the room and towards the stairs. A bedroom would be a quiet place to talk. When Dinah realises where they're going, she laughs. "You know I'm not into you like that, right, Walz?"
Camila just rolls her eyes as she finds an empty bedroom. She assumes it's Normani's or Lucy's. "Have I ever told you that I'm gay?"
"No, but I always figured you were at least bi," Dinah shrugs, nodding towards the door, "thanks for coming out to me – even if you're not exactly my Camila – but I kind of want to get back to the party."
"No, but that's the thing, I'm not," Camila shakes her head, "I mean, I don't label myself, but I've liked boys before, so I can't be."
Dinah just shrugs and takes a sip of her drink. "Maybe it's some weird alternate universe shit. I don't know. Walz is always talking about boys, but it's so forced. She fixates on like, the coolest boy she can, because she knows he's unattainable so she won't actually have to date him. But anyway, I'm not drunk enough for this conversation, so talk to me later, okay?"
Camila huffs and sits down on the bed. "Okay. Is there alcohol in the drink you got me?"
"No, it's just coke," Dinah replies, "you're the designated driver, duh. Anyway, I'm going back downstairs. You coming?"
"Um..." Camila's eyes drift over to the bookcase in whoever's bedroom she's in, and decides she needs a little break before returning to the party. "No. I'll be down in a little while."
"Okay," Dinah flashes her a smile before she leaves. "Later, Walz."
Once her friend has gone, Camila wanders over to the bookcase and straight away, she spots one of her favourite books, To Kill a Mockingbird. She pulls it from its spot on the shelf and decides that she'll spend her Friday night the way she usually does; reading. She sits down on the bed, her back against the wall, and opens the book to the first page.
She gets a few chapters read, and is left alone for around half an hour, when the door to the bedroom swings open. She jumps and closes the book, quickly spluttering out an apology. "Sorry, I didn't think anybody would be coming in here because it's a party and all of the people are downstairs and I just needed a quiet space because I really hate parties and I know I'm rambling but I'll leave if you want, I'm really sorry oh my god, I've probably overstepped like a million boundaries right?"
She cringes. Of course her typical, rambling self would come out the second she's slightly embarrassed.
When she looks up, she realises that it's even worse than just embarrassing herself in front of a stranger. Instead of just a couple looking for a private place, or someone like Normani getting something from her room, she meets the bright green eyes of Lauren Jauregui.
And once again, Lauren is looking at her like she's crazy. "It's not a big deal. I don't care that you're in here."
"Oh, um," Camila swallows the lump in her throat, "I just... needed some quiet time, is all. Had to think. This... this is your bedroom?"
"Yeah." Lauren just shrugs and walks past her, opening up her closet and pulling out a bottle of champagne. "It's my party."
"Um..." Camila gestures towards the door, her heart pounding in her chest, "I'll just- uh, go. Or whatever. Leave you to have your quiet time."
"You want some champagne?" Lauren asks her, passing her yet again and opening up the door. "I got it for me and my girlfriend, but you can have a glass if you want."
"Oh, I know your girlfriend," Camila decides that's the best way to make conversation. "Normani introduced me to her. Lucy, right?"
"Yeah," Lauren answers, still not too keen on talking to her, "Look, do you want some champagne or not?"
"I- um, I can't, I'm driving," Camila quickly answers, and as Lauren turns on her heel, Camila follows her. "I mean... one glass won't hurt, right?"
"Okay." Lauren replies, and instead of heading downstairs, opens up a door opposite them in the hallway. After Camila follows her through, she closes it, and the younger girl sees what looks kind of like a games room. "Luc, this girl is joining us for a glass of champagne. Says she knows you."
"Oh, Camila, hi," Lucy flashes her a smile. "Glad you could make it. Did you come by yourself?"
"I found her sat in my room by herself, so," Lauren answers before Camila can. "I'm going to say yeah, she did. Thanks for not telling me you invited more people, Lucy."
Lucy rolls her eyes. "Your parents said you could throw a party, and people are going to come no matter what. I was just extending the invitation to Camila here, because she seemed nice. Besides, Mani invited her, too."
"Whatever," Lauren huffs, sitting down on the couch between Lucy's legs. She rests her head on her girlfriend's chest, and Lucy's fingers start weaving through her hair. "Pour the champagne, babe."
Lucy opens the bottle, and Camila awkwardly sits on the opposite side of the couch, feeling like a total third wheel. Camila watches as Lucy pours the champagne, and holds her out a glass, so Camila takes it and tries to think about anything other than how awkward she feels.
After a few moments, Lauren stands up and says, "I'm going to find Mani," before she heads out of the room, closing the door behind her.
"I know she seems like she's kind of a bitch," Lucy starts when the door shuts behind Lauren, "but she's really not. She's a total sweetheart, just a little awkward around new people. She barely spoke to me for the first three weeks of our friendship. She's just shy."
"I, uh," Camila shrugs, "she doesn't seem like a bitch..."
Lucy snorts. "Sure. But like I said, she's just shy. If you hang around us enough, she'll get used to you."
Camila hums in thought and takes a sip of her champagne. She's going to make Lauren warm up to her quickly, like the other girls already had. Then she'll wake up and everything will be back to the way it was.
After a few minutes, Lauren and Normani come into the room, closing the door behind them. Normani flashes her a smile. "Hey, Camila. How are you?"
"I'm... I'm okay," Camila murmurs, "have you seen Dinah downstairs? Do you know if she's keeping out of trouble?"
"Dinah...?" Normani frowns, "Blonde girl I see you around with? Tall?"
"Yeah, that's her," Camila nods in reply, "she's my best friend and if I know her well, she's probably already tipsy. She was always like that when she'd go clubbing with y-"
Camila cuts herself off, not wanting to sound completely fucking insane. Not when she's finally interacting with Lauren.
"I was surprised when Laur said she'd offered you champagne," Normani laughs, "Anyway, have you guys met before? Lauren, this is Camila Cabello. Camila, Lauren Jauregui. She's my best friend."
"We've met," Lauren curtly replies, "she forgot her way to a classroom."
Lucy laughs. "You did? Haven't you been going to the same school since like, freshman year?"
"Uh, yeah, it was just a bad day," Camila shrugs, "I woke up feeling weird and kept forgetting everything."
"Hungover?" Lucy asks, and Camila shakes her head. "Were you high or something?"
"No, just... disoriented," Camila answers, glancing over at Lauren, who is back in Lucy's lap, cuddling up to the older girl. "I'm okay now, though.
Camila lets their conversation drift onto other things, Lucy and Normani talking more than she or Lauren, and she nurses her glass of champagne until she hears a bang outside the door and jumps up when she realises who it is by the loud, "Chancho, where the fuck are you?"
Camila darts out into the hall and grabs a staggering Dinah before she falls down the stairs. "You need to go home."
"No, what, I'm having fun," Dinah laughs, "where have you been? Sat reading by yourself? That's fucking sad. My Camila would do that, too. Maybe you're more alike than I thought."
"There is no your Camila, because none of this is real," Camila counters, muttering to herself, "but come on. We're going."
"Is she okay?"
When she hears the voice, she frowns, because the last person she'd expected to hear is Lauren. "She's... very drunk."
"Are you much of a lightweight?" Lauren asks her, and Camila's face flushes, because she's been told that she is. "I'll take your silence as a yes. Come on, back in here."
Before Camila can protest, Lauren is helping her carry Dinah towards the room they'd just come out of. Dinah laughs. "Hey, Walz, it's your girlfriend!"
"Dinah, shut up," Camila rolls her eyes, "how much did you drink?"
"Don't know," Dinah answers with a laugh, "stopped keeping track when the room started spinning."
As they help Dinah into the room, Camila sits her friend down on the couch, between herself and Lucy. Lauren sits herself down on her girlfriend's lap, and Camila feels that familiar surge of jealousy but pushes it aside.
"If you feel like you're going to puke..." Camila trails off, "puke to the left. I don't want any of that on me."
"There's two people over here, Cabello," Lucy answers, "it wouldn't be as bad if she puked on you. Less clean up."
"Can we stop talking about puke?" Lauren asks, snuggling into Lucy. "Even thinking about that makes me want to do it."
Dinah groans. "I'm fine. Mila, want to go do some shots?"
"Uh... no thanks, DJ," Camila says, "I'm fine."
"God, even you're a bore," Dinah huffs, "someone send me a party Camila instead. That'd be nice. Or- or a straight Camila, but those probably don't exist."
"Dinah," Camila rolls her eyes, "shut up."
"Sorry your friend just outed you to us," Lucy replies, "but I mean... clearly none of us have a problem with it."
Camila shakes her head. "I- I'm not gay."
"Said Lauren, two years ago," Lauren mutters, "I mean, technically still not. I'm bi. Lucy is, too."
"I don't... like labels," Camila awkwardly responds. "But- I mean, I'm not all... figured out."
"You like who you like," Lucy shrugs, "It's not a big deal."
"I liked this one girl a lot," Camila glances up at Lauren for a split second. "But she- we were both scared. Her especially. So I never did anything about it."
Lucy laughs. "That's like me and Laur. She had a huge gay panic-"
"Lucia. Shut up," Lauren rolls her eyes, "it wasn't a gay panic. Just... stress. If anything, it was a bi panic."
Lucy ruffles Lauren's hair and pulls her close. Dinah lets out a loud snore next to her, and Camila realises her best friend has fallen asleep. Normani laughs. "You guys can stay over if you want."
"Uh, it's my house," Lauren points out with a frown. "But... you can stay. If you need to."
"I'm sure I'll be able to carry Dinah to the car." Camila shrugs. "I don't want to cause trouble. I barely know you."
"Well," Lauren starts, "if my best friend and girlfriend like you, then clearly you're okay. Besides, I don't think you can carry your friend all by yourself. You're like, tiny."
"I'm pretty strong for my looks," Camila tries to argue, knowing that she's not telling the truth at all. "But I'm not sure if I can carry Dinah, to be honest with you."
Normani smiles. "We can help her into the guest room now, if you want."
"Yeah," Camila stands up, grabbing one of Dinah's arms. "Thank you."
Normani grabs the other, and when Camila glances back, she gets a glimpse of Lauren and Lucy making out. She turns the other way. "I'm staying over tonight. Usually I'd stay in the guest room, but since Lauren's family are away, I'll probably sleep in Taylor's room for the night. You can stay in with your friend."
"Thanks for the help," Camila says as she kicks open the door Normani points to and walks into a guest room. "Is Lauren always that... stoic?"
Normani laughs. "No, she's a total dork. She just takes a while to settle down around people. She's pretty shy."
"That's comforting," Camila comments, "because you and Lucy are nice, and Dinah's kind of my only friend, except for Ally, but she's not at school. It'd be nice to make some more."
"I mean, you seem kind of nerdy too," Normani observes, "so I'm pretty sure you and Lauren will be besties by next week. If you're not, probably the week after."
Camila smiles to herself. At least she won't have to wait long. She'll be on good terms with Lauren, and then she'll wake up. "She's just kind of intimidating."
Normani snorts. "She's so unintimidating that she's literally a puppy."
Camila laughs. That's like her Lauren. Her Lauren likes to pretend she's a badass, but out of all the Fifth Harmony girls, she's definitely the least intimidating. Even Ally is more intimidating than her, and Ally is a literal ray of sunshine.
(Well, to everyone except Camila. Not that she blames her.)
"Alright, well, that makes me feel better," Camila says as she and Normani lay a still sleeping Dinah on the guest bed, "what kind of stuff is she into? Just, you know, so I can find some common ground."
"She likes reading, which I don't get, because movies take a lot less time," Normani replies, "she read War and Peace the other week. If you've read that, maybe you could talk. Pretty sure she likes To Kill A Mockingbird the most, and I don't get how she's not sick of it, because we had to do a school report on it for literature last year. You'll probably have to do it this year."
Camila follows Normani out of the guest room, aware of the party downstairs and a little surprised that Lucy, Lauren and Normani are keeping away from it. "So... if Lauren's throwing a party, why isn't she downstairs in the middle of it?"
"She was," Normani answers, "but she got bored. Pretty sure she's going to kick everyone out in a few minutes."
When they head back into the room, Lauren and Lucy are making out on the couch. Normani makes a mock puking noise. "Get a room."
"We had one," Lucy jokes, "you walked into it."
Feeling awkward, but not shocked, because whenever Lauren had brought Lucy on tour, she was all over her, Camila sits back down and takes a sip of the second glass of champagne someone had poured out for her.
"Want to play Mario Kart?" Lauren asks, and at Lucy's shake of the head and Normani's no, turns to Camila. "How about you? Want to go up against the Mario Kart queen?"
Camila grins. Mario Kart is the only video game she's good at. "I guess so. But I'm totally going to crush you."
After a few seconds, Lauren smiles at her. The first, genuine smile she's gotten from Lauren. "You know what? I like you."
Camila sits down in front of the TV next to Lauren, her heart warm and her stomach fluttering. But only because she's so close to getting out of this stupid dream.
Yeah, there's definitely no other reason at all.