As I sat in the shower, my legs too tired to hold me up and the water washing over me, I quietly pleaded with my mind to just let me relax. I felt like I was slowly going insane because I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling anymore after everything that's happened. I was happy that everyone was safe and back in Alexandria, and that I was able to help protect this place when it needed it, but I was distraught over Carl, Deanna, Jessie, Ron, and Sam-- and didn't even know how to feel about all those strangers that I killed.
I wanted to talk about what I was feeling but I knew everyone else was going through their own thing, and to be completely honest, I don't even know where I'd start. My mind was jumbled, tired, and filled with emotion that I didn't know how to handle and was almost afraid to let out at this point.
As I felt the water beginning to lose heat, I decided it was finally time to get out and actually attempt to fall asleep.
I quickly dried myself off, throwing on some clean clothes and heading out of the bathroom before I stopped in my tracks, hearing rustling from downstairs and thinking the worst.
I let out a defeated whimper, wondering what else could go wrong, before I quickly went back into the bathroom, grabbing my knife that I'd rinsed off in the sink, and quietly tiptoed downstairs.
My heart raced as I got closer and closer to the bottom, hearing the noise coming from inside the kitchen and cursing at myself for going home alone.
I took a deep breath, holding the knife at chest level before slowly peeking around the corner, only to be able to let out the biggest sigh of relief as I saw Daryl rummaging through the box of food that Olivia had brought over.
"Oh my god," I breathed heavily, catching Daryl's attention as I dropped the knife down to my side, "You scared me, I- I thought that someone else was in here."
"Sorry, the door was unlocked so's I just came in." He shrugged, his eyes softer than they usually are as he stood at the other side of the kitchen before deciding to come over to where I stood, lightly wrapping his arms around my exhausted frame.
I relaxed into the hug, savoring the comfort that he brought me before it was quickly taken away as he pulled back.
I sighed, pushing my damp hair out of my face and looking up at him, "I thought you'd want to get some rest after being gone for so long?"
He nodded, "Figured I'd come over here."
A small smile pulled on the corner of my mouth, just happy that he showed up here, before turning to go back up the stairs and gesturing for him to follow.
***
As we crawled into the large bed upstairs, I found myself unable to lay down as I just sat there, questions waiting to burst out but knowing with all the exhaustion I was dealing with, holding back emotions wouldn't be an option at this point.
"What'sa matter?" Daryl asked, confused as he pulled the covers up to his torso.
I stayed quiet for a moment before I trusted my voice enough not to give out on me, "What happened out there? Why were you guys gone for so long?"
He shrugged, taking his bottom lip between his teeth as he stared up at the ceiling, "Got separated from Sasha an Abraham after we got shot at; ended up in the woods with some prick that left with all my shit."
"Everything?" I asked.
"My bike and my crossbow," he murmured as he glanced back over at me, "Not everythin' though."
I nodded, looking away from him as I played with the blankets that sat in my lap, "I was afraid you weren't coming back," I said quietly as tears brimmed my eyes, "I thought I'd never see you again."
He stayed silent, staring back up at the shadowed ceiling, "I thought the same thing."
I looked over at him through tear filled eyes, confused, "What do you mean?"
"I don't know," he mumbled, shrugging as he tried to figure out a way to say what he wanted, "When I saw the herd in Alexandria.. I thought I lost ya-- that I wasn't there when ya needed me."
I let out a shaky breath at what he told me, wanting to breakdown even more just knowing that I had someone like him who cared for me as much as I cared for them. I mean, I know the rest of the group cared about me, but the unspoken connection that Daryl and I had made everything so different.
"I asked Maggie where ya were and she didn't know," he continued, his voice getting raspier, "She ain't even know if ya were with anyone or if ya got into a house or-"
At this point, I couldn't take the emotions that were coming over me and slid under the covers; abruptly cutting him off because I knew that if he kept going I wasn't going to be able to keep it together at all. I quickly moved closer to him as I nuzzled my head into his chest, just needing to be close to him after I had nearly convinced myself that I'd never be able to.
His breath hitched at the unexpected touch before slowly going back to normal as he gently laid his arm over me, making me feel more secure than I've felt in years.
I let out a sigh of relief as I relaxed into him, my tired, tear filled eyes getting heavy, "Please don't ever let go."
I felt as his arm got slightly tighter around me before he spoke again, "I won't," he murmured, "Promise."
_____
I know you guys have been wanting more Liz/Daryl scenes like this, and I'm more than happy to write them, and trust me, there's much more ahead.
Let me know what you think!