*Edited*
"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world... but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices" - John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
E L L A
(9 weeks pregnant)
These past two weeks me and Landon got a lot closer. I haven't told him yet that I'm pregnant with our bosses baby but now I think is the right time. I feel bad for lying at him because he doesn't deserve it. Before things get too serious between us I want him to know what's going on. It's only fair of me to play with open cards before one of us develops true feelings and gets hurt after this. He should know that I'm pregnant before we get together so he knows what he gets himself into. I hope he can deal with it. But if he can't deal with it then that's fine with me. Nothing is more important to me than my baby. I know how hypocritical that is of me based on the fact that I wanted to kill my own child not too long ago. I know that it was a mistake to even consider abortion as an option knowing that so many people would support me during the pregnancy after that. I know my decision was selfish but I'm willing to change for the sake of my baby. Nothing else matters now. Sadly it took me a long time to realize that. I can't change the fact that my first thought was to get rid of the child and I will always feel bad for it. But people learn from their mistakes.
I called Landon and told him that I needed to talk to him and that it's urgent. He seemed to be quite worried when I told him that and he said that he would come to my apartment right after his shift ended which should be soon. He's going to pick me up and then we're going to a restaurant. I decided that would be the best in order to lighten up the mood a little bit. Plus I'm extremely hungry right now.
I was pacing back and forth and my hands were sweating like hell. I did't even know why I was that nervous. If he decides that he doesn't want anything to do with me after he finds out then so be it. It's nothing I couldn't get over. Men come and go but a child hopefully stays with you your entire life. I was trying to tell myself that but I know I would be disappointment if Landon leaves.
I flinched when I heard the doorbell ring. Now is the time. I'm going to tell him soon. There's no turning back. I took a deep breath before I opened the door revealing Landon who was looking handsome like always.
-"Hey" he said with a nervous smile and I gave him a hug. When we pulled away from each other he gave me a kiss on the cheek and I could already feel the blood rushing to my face. and I'm sure I looked like a tomato right then.
-"Shall we?" he asked and I nodded. He opened the car door for me just like he did on our first date. It became a habit of his to do it for me. When we were in the care you could feel the tension between us. There was an awkward silence between us which I absolutely hated. I just didn't know what to talk to him about because the only thing on my mind was the fact that he's going to find out that I'm pregnant soon. I was debating whether I should tell him who the father of the child is or not but I decided it's for the best to not tell him right away. The fact that I'm pregnant is already enough shock for one day I don't have to shock him by telling him that Mr.Owens is the father. I mean Landon will eventually find out just not tonight.
After a 15 minutes drive we arrived at the restaurant. It's the same restaurant that we went to on our first date which brought back a few memories. I still don't know why Anthony was watching back then but I still remember how frightened I was when I saw him sitting there. I can't believe that I was so intimidated by him.
The waiter showed us our table and then we sat down. This time I decided to not order salmon since the last time that I ate it I threw up and I don't want it to happen again. I went for pasta instead while Landon chose a steak once again. After the waiter took our orders Landon suddenly took my hands in his. I was staring at him in confusion. What the hell is he doing?
-"Ella I want to ask you something" he started and I immediately knew what was coming next. He wanted to ask me if I want to be his girlfriend. I have to stop him before I could ask me. It's not that I don't want to be his girlfriend trust me I do. I would say yes to his question if there wasn't a human growing inside of me right now.
"Before you say something I just want to tell you that I'm pregnant" I said quickly but he understood me. At least that's what I think because he looked at me in shock. I can't judge him. A few seconds later when the shock disappeared he looked at me and there was a spark in his eyes that I could detect.
-"I have to reconsider everything" he said more to himself than to me.
-"I think we should stop here. I'll driver you home" he said and I nodded not knowing what else to say. This was the reaction I was expecting. I don't think I would react different in his position.
Not a single word was exchanged during our way back to my apartment. The tension was even thicker than on our way to the restaurant, which I thought would be impossible.
"Thanks for driving me home" I said breaking the awkward silence between us.
-"Well we don't want you or that baby to get hurt now don't we?" he said and I simply smiled. At least he still cared. I was actually surprised that he didn't ask me who the father is because that would have been my first question if I were him.
I left his car and went inside. Before I closed the front door I looked back and saw that Landon's car was still parking there and Landon looked like he was deep in thoughts. Why can't anything go after plan? life is already complicated enough. I mean I love my child but O won't deny the fact that he or she makes things more complicated. I wouldn't want to change it though.
I took of my coat and shoes and then I heard a noise coming from the living room. It sounded like someone dropped something and I swear my heart stopped beating right then. I was living alone ever since Amelia moved out a few weeks ago. She never came back so I never had the chance to apologize for my behavior towards her. I mean of course I could call her but I wanted to do it in person.
I looked around trying to find an object that I could defend myself with. I wish I was in the kitchen so I could grab a knife or a pan but the only thing I found here in the entry was an umbrella. It could work as well. With the umbrella in my hand I slowly made my way over to the living room. I switched on the light ready to attack the robber but then I realized who the 'robber' was. Amelia. I have never been so relieved to see her.
-"What are you doing with the umbrella?" she asked with a raised brow looking extremely amused where I on the other hand must have looked extremely stressed out. My heart was still beating extremely fast.
"Well I thought it's going to rain in here" I said sarcastically and she looked at me with her famous 'are you kidding me' face that I've seen so many times before during our long friendship that started in middle school.
"I thought you are a robber and I needed something to defend myself" I stated.
-"And you think an umbrella would do the job?" She asked still looking amused.
"Well there's only one way to find out" I joked and in this moment I totally forgot that we haven't talked about our problems yet. In fact I think she doesn't know that I'm keeping the child. At least I didn't tell her.
"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked more serious now. We have to talk right now. I want my best friend back.
-"I wanted to get the rest of my stuff" she said and looked away.
"And why was it dark in here?" I asked curiously.
"I thought that you're asleep and I didn't want to wake you by switching on the light" she said and I had to smile. She still cared. If I were angry I would switch on the light on purpose just to annoy that person.
-"So did you get an abortion already?" she asked and I shook my head.
"No and I won't get one. I decided to keep the child" I said and watched her carefully. First she had a surprised look on her face but like everyone else that I told the news of me keeping the baby she smiled as well.
-"Really? I thought nothing is going to change your mind. Did Anthony talk you out of it?" she asked.
"No it was his sister in law wait how do you know that Anthony knows about the child?" I asked distrustful. She sighed.
-"It was me who told him about the baby. I begged him to not tell you that I told him. Ella I swear I just wanted to help I-" she started to explain why she did it but I stopped her. She didn't have to explain anything. I know she thought I was angry because of that but in fact I was the complete opposite. I was extremely thankful and grateful to have a best friend like her who cares about me so much. She does so much for me without even knowing.
"Amelia everything is alright. If you hadn't told him, his sister in law would have never talked to me and the little peanut would be dead by now. I'm glad that you told him actually." I smiled softly at her.
"I'm honestly so sorry for everything I said to you and how I treated you" I started.
-"Ella it's fine honestly" she waved it off. There's no way I'm letting this go. I want to thank her for what she did.
"No it's not fine. I was a bad best friend and I know that now. It wasn't fair of me to treat you like that when you only wanted to help me. You know me better than I know myself and back then I didn't realize that you only want the best for me. I was only thinking about how I was feeling and didn't care about everyone else that I had hurt. I can't tell you how sorry I am" I said.
-"I understand that what you were going through was hard. I shouldn't have told you what to do. But now we can leave this behind and focus on the baby that will be here in less than 8 months" she said and looked at my stomach even though there was no bump yet.
"I agree. Will you move back in?" I asked hopefully. I really miss her. The silence in here kills me. I mean sometimes I need to be alone but I'm not used to be alone almost all the time because I never lived alone. I moved out of my parents house at the age of 19 and that's when Amelia and I moved in together.
-"I don't think that's a good idea. I mean me and Ethan are going to get married in 9 months it's time for us to move in together. And you have a baby on the way you need the space" she said and even though I knew she was right I was still disappointment and sad.
"I miss having you around me everyday" I said at the verge of tears. I swear I never cried as much as I did since I'm pregnant. I was never an extremely emotional person so this is something new to me. A few days ago I cried when I dropped an egg and it cracked because I thought that there could have been a little chick. After I cried I laughed pretty hard because of how stupid I am. I swear that was the weirdest situation ever.
-"Aww I miss having you around too. But I will visit as often as I can" she said and hugged me tight. Gosh how much I missed this.
-"Maybe we should celebrate our conciliation with some ice cream and Tv shows" she said and I agreed. Back in the day we used to do this almost every night and I was happy to finally do it again.
So we ended up eating Ice cream and watching Game of Thrones all night. I was so glad that I finally had my best friend back. Now everything is going to be okay. I have the most important people back in my life. I will be able to live without Landon. I have to admit I did develop feelings for him during these past few weeks but if he can't stand the fact that I'm going to be a mother soon then he's not worth it. I don't need a man in my life in order to be happy.
I hope that y'all are prepared for the next two chapters because today you'll be blessed with a triple update ! ! ! I will post the next Chapter in an hour and the Chapter after that in two hours.