He hadn't said a word about it.
Nandini looked at Manik who was leading her somewhere into woods holding her hand. She had told everything what her father went through and how dictator wanted his signature. She had explained it all how her father wasn't the one who sold the state to dictator but he himself was victim of dictator's foul play. Manik was the only one who had nothing to say about it as if nothing had changed, like it didn't matter at all. His indifference was eating her. She knew they never shared their problems, they never talked about families, they never actually talked; but it was somewhat ruffling her that he didn't have anything to say.
Her feet halted in process and Manik felt a tug obstructing his course. He turned around to see her standing lost.
"What happened?" He asked and she came out of web of thoughts.
"Nothing," She answered absentmindedly and he resumed their walk. She looked around and her stressed nerves calmed magically. They were out of roof of palm trees and were standing under the stars. Grass reached below her knees and there was endless view of it.
His thumb traced her cheek and she came out of reverie.
"What's bothering you?" He asked as he stood in front of her.
"Nothing," She lied with a smile trying to convince him. She could not ask him why he behaved so impassive towards details she revealed about her father and dictator. She didn't know if she could risk this calm in their relationship.
"Do not lie to me," He warned softly as he lifted her chin with his finger.
Nandini searched something she needed in his eyes for few seconds before she gathered courage to speak her mind.
"You didn't say anything back there," She asked licking her lips in anxiety.
His touch lost its feather touch as he heard it. Nandini didn't know what that meant.
"Why we never talk, Manik?" She asked and he withdrew his fingers from her face. She already felt her heart sinking as he turned his back on her. She walked nearer and planted a soft kiss on his back trying to convey how she wasn't accusing him.
"What if I say it doesn't matter to me?" He asked holding her hands which were laying on his stomach. She had hugged him from behind.
She didn't answer but her clasp around his torso loosened a bit.
"I never liked your father, Nandini," He was brutally honest.
"But he didn't do anything," She argued and he sighed.
"It's not about what he did," He replied coldly and Nandini's chin wobbled. He had not let go of her hands yet.
She turned her face into his back as if trying to hide in that wall of fabric which held his warmth.
"He is not the one responsible for destruction of this state," She murmured and her voice didn't help her. He had sensed that she was crying. He pulled her from one end to bring her in front of him but she exerted all her force refusing to face him.
"Stop crying, Nandini," He said in a helpless voice.
"I am not crying," She had a dignity to hold.
"Yes, sure," He spoke irritated.
Pricking silence filled the beautiful night as she kept shedding tears silently burying her face in his coat and he held her hands on his stomach tighter than before.
"You matter to me the most, Nandini," He spoke after taming his nerves.
"Yes, sure," She replied in same tone he used a few minutes back.
He huffed and pulled her in front of him using the force he didn't want to use. She got pulled like a dried leaf. His eyes rained displeasure as he looked into those teary orbs. She didn't look away but peeped into his eyes until they softened.
He grabbed her face in his palms urgently only to cup it as soft as he could.
"Stop crying," He demanded as he spoke over her red nose.
"I am not crying," She was adamant.
"You and only you matter to me. I cannot let anything or anyone put you on risk," He repeated and she looked away.
"Then how one part of my life doesn't?" She asked and he distanced himself mercilessly. It was turning into a game of pull and push.
"It matters to me, Manik," She spoke certainly.
"What do you want?" He asked defeated as he put his hands on either sides of his waist. Nandini could sense the tension in him.
"I want you to understand," She replied taking a step towards him. Tiptoeing she tried to reach at level of his eyes. She trembled as wind disturbed her balance. He stared into her big eyes which were twinkling due to tears in them.
"You being detached to a part of me hurts," She spoke as her calves ached in that position. She gripped hem of his coat. He kept staring into her eyes.
"I don't want to speak my mind about it, Nandini. Don't force it," He was warning her beforehand. His arms instinctively encircled her waist as her toes gave up and she lost her desire posture. He pulled her up again. She wanted to hear but then she could feel there would be consequences.
"Then don't," She murmured on his lips, She didn't know why she foreboded what he had to say. There was an apparent difference building and she didn't want to widen it. She lowered her eyes and his lips groped skin of her forehead.
"Let's not talk about it," He said and she nodded. Her heart was somewhere more troubled after this cluttered conversation. Manik clearly had no sympathy towards her father and he was least interested in what mattered to her. Nandini felt ground beneath her shaking as she thought about it.
Manik embraced her lost figure tightly and she let him absorb her. She needed his warmth, even if it was subjective. It felt like she was standing alone even when he was there.
___________________________
"Our informer had informed that army has invaded a camp 300 miles away," Aabid said as he entered the tent.
"Almost 150 people have lost their lives," He added and agony traveled through everyone present there.
Harshad hit the table hard and Rajbir just gaped the rug beneath. Aryan looked afraid as he waited for Aabid to continue.
"We need to make a move," Aabid said and Harshad nodded.
"We don't have vehicles anymore," Aryan spoke.
"We would travel on foot," Harshad replied.
"467 people aren't a small herd, Harshad," Rajbir ridiculed.
"It's not easy to walk with that big crowd," he added worriedly.
Harshad walked to window and looked at morning sunshine which was mild.
"I am tired of running away," He whispered as he looked at vast mountain range.
_____
Nandini flipped another page of her father's diary as she ended reading another day of his life back at castle.
"They tried to threaten me today by lying how your mother is dead, Nandini. I am not going to fall for such traps"
Nandini read and closed her eyes. That was partly true, but she was not going to believe ever that her mother was dead either.
"They said they would make sure that you meet the same fate. They want me to sign this paper and I am not going to do that. I cannot kill the only chance of us by bringing it on paper.
These meaty business tycoons would not settle for an invaded land, always remember that, Nandini."
Nandini frowned as she read it. She had deduced it how those businessmen wanted this deal of land on paper but she never could come at clarity that why won't they take a seized possession.
She flipped the page and resumed reading.
"Till the time there is a single member of cabinet to take the reign, other states may help us. If I don't make it, just remember you need to find cabinet ministers. Three of them were slaughtered in front of my eyes and I couldn't do anything but there are four more. Dictator won't ever know who they are. State affairs were decentralized too intelligently for enemies to take advantage of loop holes. Government shall never dissolve."
Nandini could connect the dots now. There were many states who shared cordial relations with her state and her father needed someone to seek help.
"Your mother understands it better. Ask her for guidance."
Nandini wanted to cry out loud at that sentence. How would she tell her father that his wife had sacrificed herself for saving their daughter.
"Contact those four ministers and ask them to use their authority to seek help from our friend states. Their armies can help our people. Otherwise this anarchy would lead us to hell."
Nandini re-read it only to get more confused. It was like rein of only chariot was handed to an amateur. She didn't know how to run it.
Her trance of worry got broken by a voice who was unwary of every complex mathematics.
"What are you busy at since morning?" Aashi asked as she put the cup of tea on side table.
"I was reading Papa's diary," Nandini replied and put the diary on table.
"Oh," Aashi exclaimed and didn't dig further.
"How's everything outside?" Nandini asked trying not to sound particular. She hadn't seen Manik since last night. He had dropped her to her tent and then walked away. Even she didn't have temper to deal with him at the moment.
"Everything is fine," Aashi replied as vaguely as she could and Nandini nodded her head persuading Aashi to speak further.
"Women are gossiping, men are idle and kids are playing," Aashi expanded and Nandini smiled awkwardly.
"What else?" Nandini asked and Aashi stole a glance of her.
"Harshad is stressed due to something. Aryan is panicked as always. Aabid Bhai is in some deep thoughts and Rajbir is making some arrangements best known to him," Aashi replied and Nandini was losing patience now.
"Anything more you want to know?" Aashi asked totally testing Nandini's patience.
"No, nothing," Nandini replied as if she was all fine with all the useless information.
Nandini sipped the tea and then fretted where would that angry man be.
"Manik is new lumberjack of camp. I had forgotten to tell," Aashi spoke out of nowhere and Nandini spilled the tea.
"What?" She asked as she wiped the sides of her lips.
"He is cutting wood since morning as if it is his only passion," Aashi spoke trying to make it sound epic. Nandini frowned further as she thought about it.
"He is upset," She murmured and Aashi cleared her throat.
"Besides he has bullied me twice since morning to know about you," Aashi added and Nandini gaped her.
"Now tell me why you two have fought?" Aashi came to point and Nandini stared into nothing.
"We haven't," She replied absentmindedly.
"At least you answered me. He just gave me a brutal glare," Aashi spoke as matter of fact.
"If some people are willing to make a mountain out of a molehill then let them be," Nandini uttered furiously and got out of bed. Wearing her boots, she took her shawl.
"Where are you going?" Aashi asked.
"I need to meet Aabid Bhai," Nandini replied and Aashi nodded.
__________________
Manik saw Nandini walking with Aabid Bhai near riverbank and he axed another log into two pieces. They both looked stressed and Manik's restlessness grew stronger. She was in her tent all day and when she had stepped out now, she was talking to Aabid Bhai.
"Do you know who are these four cabinet ministers?" Aabid Bhai asked as soon as Nandini finished telling him about her father's diary.
"No, I never took interest in politics to even know," Nandini replied worriedly.
"Look, Nandini. I can tell you that our state army has been vanquished long back. I am an ex-army and I know it isn't there anymore," Aabid Bhai spoke.
"How do I find the rest of ministers?" Nandini asked losing it.
"We will think of some way. Your father had many men as his staff and advisers. Maybe Harshad would know," Aabid Bhai assured seeing her losing her hope.
"Please keep it to yourself for now," Nandini insisted and Aabid nodded.
"Think if you can remember any of your father's friend whom you have met," Aabid bhai said and Nandini realized that she needed to walk the memory-lane. They walked side by side silently as they both dived into their minds to think of some way.
"Aren't you two talking?" Aabid Bhai asked out of nowhere.
"Huh?" Nandini asked baffled.
"He is digging my grave with eyes from there," Aabid Bhai pointed at an angry Manik who was axing the woods. Manik turned his back on them and Aabid Bhai chuckled loudly.
"He... He doesn't want to talk about it," Nandini answered lowly and Aabid Bhai controlled his giggles.
Nandini looked at Manik who had turned his back on her and she pursed her lips in anger. She couldn't believe how he had taken offence of something she had withdrawn from. He didn't want to talk about this matter, she made sure she doesn't.
"I'll see you later," She took Aabid Bhai's leave and walked to her tent. Manik saw her walking to her dorm and threw the axe somewhere far.
___________________
"Here," Aashi entered Nandini's tent holding a plate of food.
"I don't get it why would you restrict yourself from going out," She added.
"I don't want to create any drama," Nandini replied as she took the plate from Aashi. She hogged the food as if it was her only way out of this melancholy.
"Has he eaten something?" Nandini asked as she got a grip over her urge to kill the food.
"He has," Aashi replied and Nandini started to finish other half of her food.
"I think you two should talk," Aashi suggested and Nandini shook her head.
"He won't talk to me," Nandini spoke and put the plate on side table.
"He is too stubborn," She added.
"As if you aren't," Aashi spoke under her breath and Nandini glared her.
"I am not saying anything, okay?" Aashi clarified and ran out of tent not wanting to tackle either of restless souls.
________________
Nandini re-read same page of diary only to work her memory better. She needed to remember if she had ever met any of her father's political friend. Someone cleared his throat out of her tent but she was too engrossed to even notice. Knot of her tent's fold got ripped and wind slapped Nandini's face. She looked up only to find Manik getting in urgently.
"What are you doing here?" Nandini asked straightening in her bed.
He turned around to drench her in furor. His stern face spoke for his day, he couldn't take the night anymore.
"Nothing. I just came to see if everything is fine here," He replied pretending to check the knots and hooks of tent.
"Yes, sure. Everything is fine except for knot you ripped apart," Nandini taunted pretending to be busy in her diary.
He leaned over her bed and she curled herself into a ball to avoid him. He was supposed to check the other side of bed which he could have done by walking to other side but how could he miss the opportunity to hover her.
"Don't worry, I won't touch you," He taunted and she felt this pang in her heart. It pinched. She straightened herself telling him off without a word.
"As if I would let you," She retorted because it was mandatory. Her face turned red with gush of anger and hurt.
"If I make my mind, nothing can stop me," He uttered as he withdrew. His face frigid, his voice harsh; he was being ruthless.
"Of course," She spoke as her voice filled with liquid ache.
"In your dreams," She spoke and quickly laid down covering her face with quilt. She couldn't shed tears in front of him when he was being a jerk.
She tried not to let a single heavy breath make sound as she palmed her mouth to cry silently. She didn't know if he was still standing there or was gone. She was so stressed already and he was making it worst.
Tent turned warm and she turned around to find him gone. Door of her tent was knotted well. She got up and hid her face in her knees.
Manik sat in front of her tent. Her sobs were louder now and he cursed himself. Light of lamp in tent dimmed and he leaned on bundle of grass knowing she was trying to sleep.
_____________
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Unedited*