After I stopped crying, we got ready to leave. The wind was growing cold, so I got my large coat from my backpack and put it over my jacket. I was the last one to leave the room, where I almost crash into May, who was standing in front of the door way.
“Oh, May, hey there, I didn’t see you.” I rubbed the top of my cheek with the back of my hand.
“You were crying?” she asked, looking up at me.
“Oh, no sweetie, I was just…”
“I cry sometimes too. I dream about him playing with me, then I remember he isn’t here anymore. That’s when I wake up.” Said the little girl. She looked down to the floor, but then back up to me with her same wide eyes he had. I open my arms to welcome her in a hug, and she walks forwards, laying her head on my stomach.
“Oh, May, I miss him too.” I hug the little girl who sighs heavily.
“It’s ok. Mommy told me he’s finally happy up with the angles. Do you believe in angles Demi?” She looks up at me so innocently. I felt tears fall down my cheeks one more time, but this time, I let them be.
“Of course I do May, your brother was one from the start. An angle on earth.” She nods her head roughly and I hug her again, now going down to her level.
“You’re an angle on earth too, May.” I said with a smile.
“You really think so?” she asks so optimistically.
“Of course.” I said with a smile. She hugs me tightly, her little arms barely wrapping around me.
“Girls! Come on, we have to leave!” calls out my mother from the living room. The drive over to the cemetery was quiet, only having the radio to keep it from getting too awkward. I put in my earphones in and put it on shuffle, letting the music choice surprise me.
Not a lot of people were at the cemetery. Just a few here and there over their loved one’s grave. We were probably the largest group visiting one grave. Alex’s was on a hill top, under a willow tree, that almost reached the floor.
His mother resented it because it was hidden, and the hill was tall. But I insisted that it was the best spot to lay him to rest. After all, he did had a thing for old willow trees.
When we reach Alex’s, the dried flowers from the last time I was there was just losing some of its petals. I took out the old ones and put in the fresh flowers back in the vase. I stayed there knelt over the grave for a long time. I don’t remember how long, but by the time I snapped out of my daze, Michelle had touched my shoulder, telling me that they are heading back to the car.
“J-just give me a minute. Ok?” I asked quietly. She nods slowly and walks back. I looked at the photo they permanently pasted onto the black marble headstone.
It was when it was his 16th birthday. I had put a silly party hat on that said ‘I’m 6!’ in large bold letters with a red sharpie one written on it. I choked out a laugh in between my tears. I haven’t seen this photo in years, yet, I still remember the day as if it was yesterday. I don’t know what went over him that day, but he desperately wanted party hats and ice cream cake. The thing was, they didn’t supply party hats for 16 year olds, so we got the 6 year old one, and gave him that. He was angry at me for three hours, which I found hilarious.
“Oh Alex…” I whispered. I stood up, but I don’t move from my spot.
“I miss you, you know that?” The wind blew around me gently.
“I can’t move on. This was all my fault. All my fault.” Streams of tears fell down my face. But I then smile and chuckle to myself.
“It’s funny, if you were here, you would tell me that it wasn’t.”
For a moment in time, everything was still. I was numb, I couldn’t feel anything, hot or cold. All of a sudden, it changes. Something warm wrapped around me. A tall figure towers over me. I turn to see his smiling face. Alex wraps his arms around my waist, as I go around his. We slowly dance to the music that played around us slowly. I rest my head on his chest, and closing my eyes, taking in the moment. Tears flood down my face that land on his t’ shirt. We stop moving and I look up. His eyes gleam down on me as he says something to me, without making a sound. His mouth moves to what seems like the words.
I’m ok. You’ll be ok.
He slowly bends down and kisses the top of my head. I close my eyes and take in the warm feeling It gave all over, to have him back here with me.
The wind kicks up again and I was let alone as I open my eyes again. I turn around to see if I could find my friend again, but no one was in sight. I sigh deeply, realizing that it was just my imagination, created by the desire of having my best friend back. But I no longer felt sad. I still felt warm and embraced by him. I wipe the tears and smile softly, as I walk through the branches and back down the hill to get to the car.
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THIS IS REALLY SHORT BUT I FELT THIS WAS PERFECT AS IT IS!
I was also thinking doing a short story on Demi and Alex, what do you guys think?
NEWS: I'LL WILL BE GOING ON RETREAT ON THE 28TH AND BACK ON THE 2ND, SO THE REST OF THIS WEEK AND THE NEXT WILL HAVE SLOW/NO UPDATES
Song: Iris- Goo Goo Dolls
Comment and Vote Lovelies!
~Jen :3