A/N Hey My Lovelies!!!! So Bobcatpaw sent me a request for a fic to the song 'Sorry' by Buckcherry so here it is!!!! It's kinda angsty so beware....Enjoy<3
"John, must you be so dense? There is absolutely no reason for you to be acting like this!" Sherlock slammed the door behind him, watching as John furiously took off his coat. The doctor was angry, and Sherlock had no idea why.
"No reason? Where do you think, you get off doing shit like that Sherlock?"
"What did I do wrong John?"
"I saw you snogging Irene Fucking Adler!" Sherlock rolled his eyes, gripping his hair in his hands and pulling.
"It was for a case John!"
"That doesn't matter Sherlock! You know how I feel about her!"
"She means nothing to me John! It was for a case!"
"God, you need to stop saying that!"
"John! I feel nothing towards her! I don't feel anything, you know this!" John went quiet, his face morphing into something akin to what Sherlock had seen in the morgue. The same hurt, angry, grieving look he wore after he beat Sherlock after Mary and Rosie died.
"Right. I forgot, you are the high-functioning sociopath. You have no time for feelings." Sherlock felt as though those words were a thousand degrees as they cut through his chest. John knew how badly that phrase hurt Sherlock, especially now that they were together. He stepped towards John, reaching out his hand, hoping to touch the man he loved. He wanted to wipe away the thunderous expression that took over his lover's face.
"John-"
"Get out." John's voice was low and dangerous, but it hit Sherlock with the force of a freight train.
"J-John I-"
"Get out!" John shouted at him, picking up the nearest book he could grab and throwing it at the detective. Sherlock ducked and backed away, feeling the harsh pricking of tears in the back of his throat. "Get the fuck out!" John threw another book at him, chasing him out of the flat and onto the street. He stood, staring at the door for a long while as the tears fell, leaving cold trails on his cheeks. He pulled out his phone, hoping John would read his texts.
John? – SH
John, please – SH
I'm so sorry John – SH
Please let me explain – SH
There is nothing you can say Sherlock. Just leave me alone – JW
I think I need to rethink us – JW
Sherlock felt his chest tighten at John's text.
No! John please! Let me talk to you! – SH
Give me another chance – SH
I have given you far more chances than you deserve Sherlock – JW
I'm done pretending this is going to work – JW
Give me space – JW
Sherlock felt a sob break through his chest and fell to his knees, leaning against the cold, unforgiving door of 221 Baker Street. He stayed like that, quickly losing track of time, until he felt a timid hand on his shoulder. He looked over his shoulder to see Lestrade behind him, his face one of pity and apologies.
"Hey mate. John called, said you two had a fight."
"He kicked me out."
"I know bud, come on, he asked me to make sure you had a place to stay tonight."
"No! I have to talk to him!"
"Sherlock, let him be. He needs his space."
"No! John! John, Please!" He started screaming, trying desperately to get John to listen. He felt Lestrade grab him and start to drag him away. He let himself be taken away.
He left John alone for three days before he returned.
He found John sitting in his chair, drinking a glass of scotch. He was still wearing the same clothes as he was when Sherlock left.
"John?"
"I thought I told you to stay away?"
"I know, but please, I need to say something."
"Why should I listen to you Sherlock?"
"Because, if you are still angry at me when I am done, then I will take my stuff and I will leave you alone until you wish to speak to me again. Just please give me a few moments." John thought about it for a few moments before nodding. Sherlock knelt in front of the man he loved so much and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall.
Oh, I have a lot to say
I was thinking on my time away
I miss you and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside, it never comes out right
Lestrade had given him the lyrics to this song, and he decided to sing it to John. His voice was shaky and slightly off key, but he hoped the words were clear.
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die
The tears were falling freely now and he nuzzled his face against John's knee, trying to maintain at least part of his composure.
I'm sorry you're bad
I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
He wasn't even really singing any more, just whispering the words against John's knee as he cried.
I love how you kiss
I love all your sounds
Baby the way you make my world go around
He leaned up and took John's face in his hands and pressed soft, tear-filled kisses to his cheeks and nose. John didn't react, but Sherlock felt the tears as they fell from the doctor's eyes.
And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry
He tried to kiss away the tears as they fell, feeling John start to tremble against him. He hated that he had hurt John this badly. He wanted to fix it, to take away all the pain and make it better.
"John, please forgive me. I swear I will never talk to her again. Please."
"How do I know I can trust you Sherlock? How do I know that you won't do something worse?"
"You don't. I can't promise I won't fuck up again, this is all new to me. But you must believe me when I say I would never do anything that would intentionally hurt you. It nearly killed me when you kicked me out, I haven't slept in three days. Just knowing that I hurt you made me physically ill." Sherlock captured John's lips in a loving kiss, tasting scotch and tears.
"Sherlock-"
"Please John, I can't live without you."
"I don't know-" Sherlock kissed him again, trying to stop the hurtful words. He couldn't lose John.
"I'm so sorry." He repeated those words, hoping John believed them. He whispered them between kisses. John finally started to respond to the kisses, the actions barely noticeable at first, just the slightest movement of his lips against Sherlock's.
"Sherlock-"
"I love you." The words fell from Sherlock's lips before he could think about them. He meant them, more than anything. This wasn't how he was supposed to tell John, it was supposed to be romantic and brilliant. He felt John freeze under his hands.
"Sherlock-"
"I love you. Please don't leave me John-"
"Sherlock!" John grabbed his face and held him still. "Do you mean that?"
"Yes, god yes John! I love you so much!" John kissed him this time, a deep, emotional one that left them both a little breathless.
"I love you to Sherlock." The detective felt the shattered pieces of his heart start to fall back into their rightful places.
"Can I come home John?"
"God yes. I hate not having you here." They kissed again, both knowing this was no where near the end of this fight, but both willing to give it another shot.