"Fuck the pub." Is the greeting that Harry gets as soon as he spots Zayn standing outside the doors of the pub they always go to.
Harry stutters a bit as Zayn pushes himself off the wall and takes a drag of his cigarette.
"Let's go somewhere else." Zayn proposes and turns to look at Harry when he says nothing to him in reply. "You either speak a lot or say nothing at all." Zayn smirks and Harry feels himself blush. "Come on." Zayn extends a hand to Harry.
It's late. Around 23:00 and the streets are pretty dead - it is a Monday night after all.
Harry takes Zayn's hand and takes him in. He's got on a black beanie and grey hoodie pulled over his head, keeping him nice and warm. Black jeans and white sneakers adorn the lower half of his body and Harry's nostrils are filled with the strong scent of his cologne.
Zayn laces their fingers together and leads the way to - well, wherever he has planned.
Harry keeps up with Zayn's pace and finds himself stroking Zayn's knuckles with his thumb. Zayn doesn't mind. He likes it, actually. Harry's skin is soft and warm against his own.
"So, you probably want to know shit about me." Zayn starts off.
"If you're comfortable with sharing." Harry replies honestly.
Zayn chuckles at that and loosens his grip on Harry's hand until they fall apart and he puts his hand in his pocket.
Harry notices a group of people walking towards them and pulls his own hand into his pocket, all the while, still following Zayn.
"I had issues as a kid - with my weight and stuff." Zayn says and sniffs a bit as the night gets colder and colder. "Basically, I was fat." Zayn turns around to say and laughs a bit.
Harry finds himself smiling nervously.
Fuck, I don't know what to say to that.
Harry wants to be Zayn's friend. Not his psychologist. He doesn't want to say things like, 'Go on,' or the incredibly cliché, 'How did that make you feel?'
"Got made fun of everyday for my entire fifth year until I just got fucking sick of it and decided to do something about it."
They were now at a park and walking towards a set of swings.
"So, I started running, eating better - then I found soccer, which I loved.. People started treating me differently as soon as I started looking different. They were nicer." Zayn sits down first and leans against the chains of the swing to face Harry, who follows his lead. "I liked the attention." Zayn admits.
And who wouldn't? Everyone wants to feel wanted, appreciated.
"I don't know. I just became arrogant and vain after that I guess... BPD happened a little later on. The mood swings, impulsive behaviours.." Zayn snorts. He's really putting all of his trust in Harry right now. He'd only opened up to Liam about these things.
He looks up and sees intent green eyes stating back at him. Harry nods and swings gently, encouraging Zayn to continue to speak. Zayn may not be going into detail about the things that he's been through, but Harry understands that it may be hard for him to do so, but is happy that he's speaking to him at all.
"And uhm... I do..." Zayn shakes his head and grunts. He's struggling more this time. "I like you." He confesses and sucks in his cheeks. "When I saw you at the pub for the first time... I just ..." Zayn laughs again and looks to the side at the deserted playground. It's hard to hear him admit this to himself, let alone to Harry. "I just thought you were good looking so..yea... I don't handle that well, I'm sorry."
Harry licks his cherry coloured lips and does somewhat of a shimmy/shrug. "It's okay. We were drunk and ...I wanted it too."
Does that mean he is in fact gay? Harry thinks but bites his tongue.
"I've uh, known GiGi since high school."
Harry feels the wind get knocked out of him upon hearing her name.
"We were the 'perfect high school couple.'" Zayn laughs. "I settled and we just stuck."
"Do you love her?"
"She's okay." Zayn shrugs and Harry bites back a laugh at his brutal honesty.
"I mean, I've known her for a while and -" Zayn frowns and looks up at the night sky. "It's kind of a dead relationship."
"... Does she feel that way too?" Harry asks and Zayn locks eyes with him.
"Does she know I like guys?"
Well, there's one way of getting that out.
"No one knows. Not even Liam." He sighs. "I can't tell anyone."
"... You just told me."
"Because it's different with you."