Edited on May 21st, 2018.
| . . . C H A P T E R . . . 1. 2 2 . 5 (1) : P E R F E C T - I L L U S I O N . . . |
I entered the apartment where Lavanya and Aarav stayed. Since I've moved them here, I've been coming at night here than the dorm apartment I shared with my college mates. I didn't hear any voices - no screaming of Lavanya running after Aarav. I checked their room and saw her on the bed half asleep while half sitting and patting Aarav's chest putting him to sleep.
The poor girl must be so exhausted.
I quietly walked in and pulled a blanket over both of them. She stirred awake and tried to sit up but I blinked a no to her and mouthed, "Sleep." Even if it was just 8 in the evening, she looked like she needed it. I knew very well how Aarav kept her on her toes from the second he was awake till he would go to sleep at night.
She slid down on bed to properly lay down and I walked out, turning off the lights on my way out.
I went to the kitchen to check for left overs. They were always there. Filling a plate, I take it to the dining table along with my laptop so I could do some online assignments while having dinner.
Just as I was finished, I heard the rattling of the keys on the front door before Kripa walked in. I dried my hands after having washed the plate and greeted her, "Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Homework. Need help." She answered dropping her bag on the couch.
I raised my brows at her for she never took me up on the offer whenever she would struggle with it. She was here for something else. Homework was an excuse. Returning to the dining table where my laptop was, I asked again. "Real reason, Kripa."
She walked over and pulled out a chair as well. "Something weird happened today."
"Okay," I answered waiting for her to elaborate while I typed.
Her eyes were on me as she spoke as if wanting to assess my reaction, "See, I was folding Khushi's laundry for her."
"Hmm." I had no idea why we were talking about laundry.
"And I'd swear, one of the shirts she had was yours."
I chuckled at the impossibility of it, not stopping my typing while I said, "Did you mix your laundry with hers?"
"That's the thing. I didn't."
I glanced up at that with creased brows, "I don't see how that's possible then."
"Are you sure?"
I pulled away from the laptop and crossed my arm over my chest, "What are you asking me, Kripa?"
She didn't faze away from her line of questioning, "You know what."
I don't know why I felt some anger thinking she would even think this. "Kripa, no. I've never looked at her that way."
She argued, "But you do look at her some way."
I might have never seen Khushi as one of the girls I slept with but I couldn't counter that. So, I argued something else. "Are you even sure it was my shirt? You know she wears loose clothes. It could have been her brothers."
She shook her head in certainty, "No, it was yours. Had our logo on it. And, I am more confused because I'm pretty sure it was a shirt di made for you before you two started the fashion house. From when she was still dabbling whether to start her own line instead of working for someone else."
The more she talked, the better I understood.
She must have noticed the realization dawning over me. "Arnav...?"
"I didn't think she had it." I spoke out loud, more like talking to myself as my arms uncrossed from being defensively across my chest and came to rest on top of the table. "Or that she'd keep it."
She questioned for the sake of it, already having the answer. "Do you know Khushi from before?" When I didn't answer right away, she pressed. "Arnav, please. I'm your sister and you know I've never thought of you as just my cousin. You're more than a brother to me. Haven't I earned your trust by now that you tell me your secrets?"
I sighed trying to make her understand, "It's not about having my trust, Kripa. If I don't tell you something, then it's because I don't want you to have to know the horrors of this world. I'm just trying to protect you from it."
She argued not feeling the same way, "I don't need to be protected, Arnav! I'm not a naïve child anymore. My perfect illusion broke the night I saw Khushi like that... and the next day when she told me she was assaulted. I don't live under a rock, you know? Stop trying to keep me there!"
I searched her eyes for the longest. I couldn't keep her away from all of this despite my efforts. Was I ready to lose her altogether simply because I wanted to continue to try and protect her innocence? The answer wasn't hard to come to. No. I did everything for those I cared for. If, at the end of it all, I didn't have them, what would it all be for?
"Yes," I gave her the answers she was looking for and quickly added, "But she doesn't know that. And don't tell her."
She didn't say it but her smile at first expressed how it assured her that I chose to open up to her about this. Then, when I added the later, she asked in confusion. "Why?"
"Just... it's all in the past."
She reached for my hand to gently squeeze and asked to get to the bottom of my reason, "What is it?"
My shoulders dragged, muscles releasing tension from the feelings I held back usually. "I'm not proud of what I did." I admitted not meeting her eyes not wanting to see judgement in them. "I didn't know her. She was just... I just left her at the hospital. I didn't stay to make sure if she survived." I exhaled a heavy burden, "I left her there. I didn't want to do anything with her life."
She stood up to stand by my chair and brought my head to her stomach, hugging me assuring me otherwise. "You don't have to feel guilty, bhai. You did a lot more than someone else might have. You got her to the hospital and that's one more than someone else. You did something and I know Khushi would understand why you didn't stay."
I touched her arm to express my appreciation for what she was trying to do but it was not easy to convince one's heart and be rid of regret and guilt. I left for I didn't want to get involved. Aarav was only weeks old and I couldn't bring that back in our lives. Just, back then, I had no idea it would come back to make a presence in my life. I had no idea how important Khushi would become to me.
Pulling back, I pleaded. "Promise me, you won't tell her. Let her move on from her past... from me."
"But Arnav," she tried to argue taking her seat again.
I firmly shook my head, "I mean it, Kripa. Don't make me regret telling you this."
She sighed, stuck between her friendship for Khushi and her love for her brother. I did feel a lot closer to Kripa sharing this part with her than I ever did before and I don't want to lose that. "I won't tell her but are you really going to let her go?"
I narrowed my eyes feigning confusion.
She gave me a judging expression. "I told you. I see the way you look at her. And that's not the look of feeling guilty over your inactions back then."
I argued, "We're both different. I can't be what she needs so why even pretend I can be?"
She admonished, "Why do you belittle yourself? So, what if you have a history with girls? We both know you've never felt an ounce of anything for them. Why not even try for someone you do have feelings for? Wouldn't it be that much better?"
"You don't think I'd have tried? I couldn't even be a good friend, forget anything more." I continued to fight her into letting me think I could have hope. I would only be fooling myself. Especially given what I've done recently, she'd never forgive me anyway.
She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when the doorbell rang. What is it with people coming here? Though, given everyone who knows where I am are already inside the house - except Anjali but she is back in India so it can't be her - I wonder who it could be.
I get up to get the door but she beat me to it, pointing an index finger. "We're not done talking."
She left with the intention of shooing away whoever was at the door. I heard a voice asking, "Is Lavanya here?"
I get up on my feet at once and crossed the distance between the dining table and the front door. Kripa asked, "And who are you?"
I reached her side, grabbing her wrist and pulling her behind me. She looked at me in surprise but my eyes remained on the person at the other side of the doorway as I instructed her, "Kripa, leave."
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
| . . . C H A P T E R . . . 1. 2 2 . 5 (2) : O L D - F R I E N D S . . . |
"But..."
"Now." I expressed the urgent order in my tone nudging her inside the house. She didn't understand but I had no time to explain. She turned and grabbed her bag. It was only after I heard her leaving through the back door that I spoke to him. "What do you want?"
He chastised, "Oh, c'mon, I can't come visit my half-sister?"
I scoffed in response. He was no brother to Lavanya. "She doesn't want to see you."
He pushed past me to get inside, "Why don't you let her say that to my face?"
I stood crossing my arms over my chest even as he dared to sit on the couch as if he owned it. "Vivek, I'll be damned if I let you back in her life. Now, get out. You're not welcomed here."
He tsked me, "Oh, Arnav. How naïve of you. I never left her life. Don't you know?" He laughed in surprise. "You don't know, do you? How we met once a month back in India? Now that you moved her here, I guess her secrets are no longer secrets."
I wouldn't doubt Lavanya so soon. I knew she somewhere kept hoping Vivek was still a brother she once knew in her childhood days. If she kept this a secret from me, it had to be because she knew I would try to talk her out of keeping in touch with him. Because she held that naïve hope. I didn't.
"I would never believe you. If you see her, I'm sure it's only because of her money."
He didn't even bother to deny it as he waved a careless hand in midair, "Eh, what difference does it make? Bottom point, I am still her family. Not you. Your family is just a pretend family."
I questioned ignoring the rubbish coming out of his mouth. "How did you know to come here?"
"Ah, well. Lavanya was just an excuse. I'm actually here to see you."
I narrowed my eyes, "And why do you think I'm interested in anything you have to say?"
He smirked as if knowing he had some information I'd want. His words do make me reconsider. "You've always wanted to know who made the bet with Shyam regarding your sister, Anjali."
My demeanor changed at the mention of that. I tried to not let it show though, "I already know. It was you."
He scoffed, getting up and fixing his shirt, "Please, Arnav. I have better things to do with my life then place bets on people."
I gritted back in annoyance and hatred for him. if "And I am to believe you came all the way here out of the goodness of your heart?"
He was looking for a way to redeem himself and come back into Lavanya's life, be my friend again, but it would never happen. Even if he didn't place that bet, he was not the kind of person I wanted in my life or Lavanya's. There was no redemption for people like him.
"Ah, no." He grinned a grin that put me on edge as my consciousness screamed at me to be cautious. It was never a good sign. "Though it is a bonus. I came here to congratulate the girl. I hear she's getting married... to Shyam. Not surprised about that, by the way. She always had a thing for him. Wild, just like him, you know?"
I rolled my eyes for I had no interest in the personality of that girl. Any girl to fall for Shyam fell from grace in my books.
He came to a stop to my side and gauged my reaction as he went on to finish in a knowing tone that it would strike a nerve, "And, I hear she goes to the same university of you. Maybe you know her? Khushi Gupta."
My bones felt the chill as my entire body went numb. He was lying. He had to be. My head snapped in his direction and he let out a small laugh oozing of confidence.
He continued, "Given we were friends at one point, thought I'd do you the courtesy and let you know."
I had no idea how to react. Khushi? My Khushi? No... there had to be another. But the words she'd said almost a month ago at the shelter...
I'm getting married.
While I was lost in my thoughts, trying to separate reality from lies, trying to separate what I know of her to my lack of knowledge on the person she could have been before from the time Vivek was mentioning, he seemed to have walked off towards the exit.
I only knew he left when he called over his shoulder, "See you around, old friend."
My feet moved on their own to reach my phone on the kitchen counter.
On the third ring, Anjali answered in a sleepy voice, "Hi chote. Good morning."
There was no time for pleasantries. "Khushi. Have you ever met her?"
She took a second to catch what I was asking before she questioned, "Kripa's friend? She never brought her by when I was there. How was I going to meet her?"
"No, not recently. From before. When we were in Shimla. Do you remember meeting a girl named Khushi then?"
There was a pause as if she was thinking. "Chote, why are you asking this? You usually don't mention Shimla. You don't like to talk about..."
"I know, di." I answered for that place hadn't given either of us good memories. "But please, remember. I need to know. Have you ever...?"
She cut me off sensing my urgent need for answers. "No. I've never met a Khushi there. Am I supposed to know her?"
"I don't know," I answered with a sigh. If she says she doesn't remember her, then I believe her. But what if they did meet and she doesn't remember because it was years ago?
She asked in concern, "Arnav, what's going on? You're worrying me. Did something happen?"
I repeated the words, "I don't know."
"Okay, why don't you tell me what made you think of this all of a sudden? Maybe I can help you make sense of it." She suggested and as much as I needed to sort this, I refused to remind of her of what happened to her. I refused to bring up Shyam's name to her.
"No, it's fine, do. Don't worry. This friend uncle wanted me to help, his last name is Gupta too and... but never mind. Khushi is a very common name."
"Hmm. Are you going to help his friend then?"
"I'm thinking about it," I answered honestly for it was too big a coincidence. Shimla. The place that connected us all. Mr. Gupta was from there too.
She expressed her concerns, "Chote, if you don't think it'll be a good investment, don't do it. Not for me. If it comes to claiming Aarav as mine so no one can question your age as right fit to provide for him..."
I assured her, "Don't worry, di. I won't let it come to that. I've protected you both so far and I'll keep doing it. No one has to know Aarav is your son."
She breathed out over the phone line and I could understand her debate. She didn't want me to feel forced but I also knew... she was saying she would do it but she wasn't ready for everyone to know this secret we've kept for last years. She still somewhere feared the scrutiny she'd face from it.
"I promise, di, I will help Uncle so he'll leave us be but it'll be on my terms. You trust me?"
"Ofcourse," she expressed at once. If anything, she knew how stubborn I could be when I came down to it. I may not be the shrewd businessman our uncle is, but I can for sure call a bluff and make a few of my own to turn things about the way I need for them to.
I kept letting him have the upper hand because I let my fears win but if there is some connection to anything Vivek just said about Khushi to what happened to Anjali, I would get to be the bottom of it - even if it came down to uncovering that the girl I fell for, for the first time in my life, was not who she claimed to be.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . . .
| . . . A U T H O R - N O T E . . . |
Before, she was not to marry Shyam. It was meant to be Arnav but I was never satisfied with the 'coincidence' before and hence, this is again one of the major changes that will affect the course of book 2. Ofcourse, be assured that Arnav would not ever let Khushi marry Shyam but this is Shyam being more involved in their lives from starting.
So... I leave you to wonder what his plan is ;)
And any guesses on Vivek? One hand, we see him in Lavanya's POV and on the other, he is playing these games with Arnav. Wonder which side of him is real? }:)