VI. no turning back
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She didn't sleep at all during the night.
She was exhausted, but not tired. Most of her time was spent silently crying while staring at the wall. Her mind had shut off and remained empty of thoughts. Everything she one worried about, or distracted herself with, didn't matter so much anymore.
Perhaps this had been his plan all along. Ward Cameron had finally succeeded in breaking her. She hoped he was happy. Because she was not.
She couldn't allow herself to think, because when she did her mind drifted off to Wheezie and what kind of repercussions the girl may be facing, all because she'd asked her for help. She hoped Ward could fully place the blame on her rather than his own daughter. But he seemed in no state to take anyones feelings in consideration.
It was around noon when a glint of daylight filled her cell. Rafe Cameron had been the one to unlock the door, yet she did not lift her gaze to acknowledge his presence. He waited silently for some snappy remark of what he wanted or why he was standing there. But it never came.
Clearing his throat lightly, he proceeded to place a bottle of water and a sandwich down on the ground beside her. The movement caught her attention, and her eyes slowly flickered to the side as he withdrew his hand from the glass plate it sat atop.
She hesitated before reaching out a shaky hand to pick up the plate. She held it close to her face for a moment before throwing it across the cell. The plate smashed into the concrete walls and with a sharp crunch it shattered. She wished she could have said it made her feel better even in the slightest.
Something in the back of her mind told her to laugh at the sudden wideness and shock present in his eyes, but the sound died in her throat. She pursed her lips as her eyes returned to the wall across from her. Pinned to the exact spot the plate as crashed against she blinked slowly.
Rafe's lips curved into a tight smile and he exhaled while crossing his arms across his chest. "Come with me." He suggested, and despite his tone being soft she wasn't sure if she had much of a choice. But still she'd sat there not moving, legs pulled closely against her chest as she still refused to look up at him.
He offered her a hand just like the day before, only this time she accepted it. Hesitantly her hand reached out and clasped his as she allowed him to hoist her up. She simply wasn't sure if she'd have been able to pull herself up on her own. She hadn't quite felt the full extent of the pain until she rose and it all rippled through her at once.
She winced harshly, placing her other hand against the wall for support. Large splotches of bruises had began forming on either side of her body from the top of her ribcage down to her hips.
Noticing how quickly the pain had etched itself into her features, he trailed off slightly as he hesitantly dropped her hand. "Can you walk?" The words tumbled free from his mouth.
She wanted to bite back. Of course she could walk. She'd manage. She didn't need his pity nor his help. But she didn't speak at all. She just nodded slightly, keeping her gaze locked to the floor as she stepped out from the cell. Each step she took felt like a knife repeatedly stabbing into her, but she masked the pain as if it had never been there at all. "Where are we going?" She asked dryly.
Smirking lightly he turned his head hoping to find her glare locked on him. Even as her head remained bowed, a small smile still tugged at his lips. "You'll just have to see." He teased gently hoping to spark something in her, but her head did not snap up like he'd thought. Invoking anger in her used to be the most easy yet frustrating thing to Rafe. But now he had discovered something worse: whatever this was.
Breathing out harshly her hands flung up lightly in the air but did not contain any anger in doing so. "Fucking just tell me." Her words were harsh but her tone did not match by far. Her voice was drained and void of any emotions.
A small laugh pressed the back of his throat, but only a small huff of air was produced. "Not with that mouth."
The rest of their short trip was made in silence, as she had not found the effort to push out a matching remark. They walked down a small hall on the first floor and turned into a bedroom. The walls were painted a light beige and the room was quite empty besides a bed and a small dresser that sat across from the other. Though on the left, a door was pushed halfway open, revealing what seemed to be a bathroom.
Unsure of what this room had to do with – well anything, she just shrugged when his eyes fell upon her in search of any reaction. "This rooms all yours." He trailed off, eyes dragging across the room as if he'd only seen it a few times himself. "Dad had arranged it incase he ever decided to move you from the cell."
Her heart was hammering in her chest, but she was sure this all had to be some big trick. Though she couldn't help noticing unlike all the other rooms she'd visited in the house, this one was different. The door contained a large hatch and lock that looked like it was only opened by a set of keys. The one window set in the corner was bolted shut and had metal bars rung along it, each about an inch apart. So even if she did shatter the glass she'd not be able to escape.
The room seemed many steps up from her cell yet still fit for a prisoner.
"Look." She began but faltered, becoming mesmerized by the room. She took in each and every detail, and the more she had noticed, the more excitement plucked at her heart strings. A small bookshelf sat next to the bed, filled with actual books. Her mind had been desperate for entertainment for so long. But it all felt too good to be true. "If this is just some new tactic of yours to get me to talk, I don't want it."
He shook his head lightly. "Its not." He assured, and his demeanor was rather calm and it was something extremely unfamiliar, something she hadn't seen in him for years. The man Rafe had become was always a big ball radiating nothing but fury and stress. "Thought you just might be tired of that old cell."
She moved forward taking a seat on the edge of the bed, her body ached as she did so. Pressing her lips into a thin line her mouth soon fell back open. "I doubt Ward would've approved this." She sighed. "If this is all just going to get me into even more trouble I don't fucking–"
Sharply cutting her off before she could continue, his words tumbled out rapidly. "He's not here."
Knitting her brows together for the first time that morning her head snapped up as her eyes rose to meet his. "What do you mean he's not here?" She questioned carefully, unsure of just what this had meant.
Rafe joined her, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress, carefully placing himself a few inches from the girl. "He'll be gone for a few days." He spoke dully and it was impossible to tell where he was headed or what was possibly going on in his mind. "He's flown to another island down the coast, he's moving Wheezie and Rose."
"What?" Her voice jumped as every fear she'd tried suppressing over the past few dreadful hours came crashing back. She'd known Ward would not let Wheezie off so easily, she had planned on taking all the blame the next time she saw him. But just as the nerves twisted in her stomach anxiously, she knew she was too late.
"Before you freak out." He treaded cautiously, having a fair hint of what her reaction would be already. "She isn't in trouble. He just thought keeping them away for a while would be best."
Away from her. Valerie felt the blood drain from her face at the words he meant but did not speak. Fury raged inside her but she did not voice it. She had thought nothing could be worse than the insults he had always taken too far, or the physical hostility. But this, she decided was so much worse. Because if someone like Rafe Cameron felt bad enough to walk on egg shells around her, how pathetic did she look?
Valerie stared at the wall saying nothing, and after several moments of silence he finally spoke again. "So for the next few days, you're mine to deal with." A slight playfulness laced through his words but she only scoffed lightly to herself.
"Seriously?" She rolled her eyes.
"Which means, you're not going to get in any trouble." He knew he was lying flawlessly, but he didn't care much. Ward would be furious if he had known what Rafe was doing. But he needed to do something. Because for the past twelve hours his mind had been plagued with nothing but Valerie Claremont, and after hiding away in his room he learned that out of sight was in fact not out of mind.
He had begun to think he was starting to pity the girl, when he had seen how far his father was willing to take things. He'd always let whatever Ward had done slide. Because it was always justifiable, he was doing whatever he needed to do to protect their family. But last night was an odd piece out of the puzzle, because he was sure Ward had not needed to do that. He had caught her. But his father was furious. And he was positive had he not intervened he would have beat her to death.
Something about it just didn't sit right with him. Because she was a bitch and he believed everything Valerie got she had deserved. But had she deserved that? He couldn't be sure.
But now he had done something overly nice. She had gotten on his nerves easier than anyone, but maybe it was just the fact that ever since last night, she had not been doing that anymore. And the lack of fights picked each time they spoke put him off. And bickering was just no fun when she would not play back.
Lifting himself up off the bed, he silently stalked over to the door. Stretching out an arm, he clasped a hand around the wooden stucture. "I'm not going to lock you in here, but don't do anything stupid alright? Because I do have the key. And I will if I have to." His gaze found her once more, but again she did not meet his eyes.
Normally she'd find herself doing something stupid just to spite him, but she didn't think she would bother this time around. She'd hate for them to think this was her falling in line, but she didn't contain the energy. At least not today. "Is that a threat?" She asked, but her voice lacked its usual taunt.
"Its a warning." He stated firmly. "For your own protection."
Once Rafe had left the room, she spent most of the day lounging around. Her new mattress was something she could easily find herself lost in and she wouldn't have been mad if she just slept away the next few days. But after hours of rest she reluctantly pulled herself out of the silky sheets with a tight groan. It was dark by the time she had made her way into the bathroom to explore.
It was a small room painted with sage green walls and white tiled floors. She found it to be freshly stocked with various toiletries and plush towels. Deciding a shower was long overdo she helped herself to the spouting warm water. She allowed the shower head to run for minutes before she discarded her clothes, giving it heat up and fill the room with steam.
She hadn't looked herself in the mirror in long time. Gazing at herself she hadn't really liked what she saw. A frown tugged at her lips as she didn't recognize the girl staring back. Her face had grown thin and the curves were far more defined than when she'd seen herself last. The dark rings around her eyes were so prominent she'd been surprised Rafe had not cracked a joke at how badly she'd let herself go.
Letting her eyes drop to her body, she'd felt them grow wide with shock. The bruising from Wards punishment had been far worse than she'd anticipated. Pressing two fingers lightly onto one of the large bruises running down her rib cage, she winced.
Finally she stepped inside the shower pulling the curtain shut, letting herself lavish underneath the warm water that crashing down. It seemed to heal everything and thirty minutes later when she stepped out, she felt refreshed and ten times better than she had before.
Wrapping herself in a towel, she'd realized the one thing this new room had not come with was a fresh change of clothes. She pinched the green tee between two fingers and lifted it up. It had smears of dirt and dried splotches of blood marking it up, and was certainly disgusting. She dropped the shirt back onto the floor as a faint oder wafted into her nose. Scrunching up her face, she could not bare putting it back on.
She traveled out of the room and began sifting through the wooden dressed across from her bed. But all six draws turned out to be completely useless and emptied. Glaring at the bundle of clothes still on the bathroom floor, an idea slipped into her mind faster than she could push it out.
With no clock she couldn't be sure what time it was, but she wondered if Rafe had been awake still. The idea of asking him for a change of clothes was borderline humiliating but also trumped the idea of having to spend another moment in her current attire.
After drying herself she slipped into the tee and pajama pants, deciding even if she were to follow through with the plan, she'd never be caught dead approaching him in a towel. Back in the clothes, she instantly felt dirty and could not shake the awful smell that lingered on them.
Creaking open the door to her room she found herself shocked it had opened, despite Rafe telling her he wasn't going to lock her in. Her legs carried her to the nearest staircase and she recalled he had mentioned nothing about not traveling to the second floor. She wondered if this mission would be considered something along the lines of stupid that he warned her of before, but nevertheless she continued throughout the house.
It took her a bit to find the correct hallway, and with a wide range of freedom she discovered how large the house truly was. Though it didn't come to much of a shock as she expected nothing less from Ward Cameron.
Eventually she found herself down the right path and was thankful to find his door was pushed halfway open. Realizing that if she'd had to of knocked, she might have just save herself the embarrassment of it all and retreat.
Peaking her head in the door she found his room cast with darkness. Curled up on his side, laying in bed, he appeared to be asleep. She couldn't make out the time the clock above his bedside table read, but she assumed that it must be late. She turned to leave but hesitated when a soft mummer left his lips, catching her attention.
Assuming he had woken and caught sight of her figure hovering in the doorway, she took a step further into his room. The plush carpet beneath her cushioned each careful step she took to get a closer look. The faint glow of moonlight drifted through the windows, illuminating his face. She realized soon it was not her he was talking to.
She hadn't noticed her feet carrying her closer, while she instead had became distracted by the look of distress painting its way effortlessly on his features. His eyes were screwed shut and beads of sweat began to dampen his forehead. It was only when he slept that he was unable to hide his emotions from plastering themselves across his face so clearly.
His jaw clenched tightly as the remorse that he refused to house during the day haunted him at night. And only when she stood beside his bed could she make out the faint whispers leaving his mouth. "I didn't. . ." He choked out through his teeth, trailing off silently. "I didn't mean to."
She wasn't sure why, natural instincts she'd suggest took over as her hand lurched forward and latched onto his shoulder. She swallowed roughly as she began shaking him. "Rafe." The word left her mouth in a whisper as she feared what may happen if she spoke any louder.
A few more moments passed and her grip on his shoulder tightened, as a few groans of displeasure pulled out of his throat, tumbling free. His eyes shot open seconds later as they scanned the room abruptly before stilling once he caught sight of her. His hand flew up, curling around her wrist harshly.
She sucked in a sharp breath at the contact, but once recognition of his environment had hit him, his tight grip faltered. He dropped his hand entirely, pulling his brows together. The momentary relief soon washed from his face and replaced with confusion.
"Bad dream?" She broke the silence feeling heat rise to her face. She suppressed the sudden embarrassment, having not imagined how things would go once she woke him. She then let an awkward laugh tumble from her lips. "I didn't realize you still had nightmares."
Sharply exhaling, he ran a hand slowly down his face. "I don't." He spoke softly, voice muffled. His breathing steadied, slowing from its harsh and rushed pace.
She only frowned at this as an awkward silence once again dawned. Hoisting himself up into a sitting position he groaned with irritation, realizing that she would not be seeing herself out anytime soon.
"Is there a reason for you waking me up at," His gravelly voice slowed as his eyes flicker to the clock. "Two twenty-six am?" He questions precisely.
Quickly setting blame on the sole factor she did not have a clock or any time telling device in her room, she didn't feel too badly for marching into his room at such a late hour. Pursing her lips a second round of embarrassment set in as she recalled why she had even travelled to his room in the first place.
Shrugging, another strangled laugh left her throat. "I was just wondering if I could have a spare change of clothes." Plucking up the shoulder of her tee she allowed her face to scrunch up in disgust. "These just aren't really doing it for me anymore."
Rolling his eyes shut with a flutter, he brought a hand up to massage his temples. A sharp breath of irritation left his lungs in a rather dramatic huff, as he swung his legs over the bed and stood. She quickly dodged out of the way as he rises, still having been in close proximity with his bed. He then sauntered over to the dresser and yanked open one of the top draws.
After a moment of digging around he tossed a grey tee and black pair of sweats over his shoulder. She caught both articles of clothing in the air as they flew from behind his back.
"You can go now." He muttered turning around, stalking back in the direction of his bed. "Unless you'd prefer to change in here, which by all means, don't let me stop you."
Seemingly still in a daze of sleep and shocked by his own words, her eyes grow wide as she watched Rafe awkwardly pause in his trail. Deciding for both of their benefits to glaze right over the comment, she cleared her throat softly.
"So sorry to inconvenience you at this hour." She smiles sarcastically shooting him a glare, but not allowing her eyes to directly meet his. "Next time I go anywhere, I'll be sure to pack a bag in the slim chance I'm taken hostage."
Her feet carried her out of the door quickly without another word, she let the door slam harshly behind her. Only when the door was shut tightly a small smile tugged at his lips from the quick brush of normalcy returning.
A day had passed and Ward had yet to return. She silently hoped that he never would, but had no doubts that sometime over the next few days he'd make a reappearance. She could only hope a few days away would allow him to cool down.
She spent most of the time hold up in her room, resting or submerging herself in a book. Her mind was grateful or something more entertaining than her own thoughts, and it was easy to distract herself by the simplest things these days.
She hadn't seen Rafe in over twenty four hours, the last time being when she dared enter his room. But she simply figured it was because she had only once since left her room. Her trip had been short and to the kitchen to grab food and a drink. Upon her travels, she noticed that the French doors she'd smashed nights ago on her failed attempted escape had already been repaired.
The doors which were once made of glass had been replaced with solid oak instead, something that hadn't surprised her much. She couldn't help but let her mind ponder to Wheezie quite often and what had become of the girl. If sometime down the road she winded up attempting another escape, she'd have no choice but to break her promise she'd made. It seemed impossible that she'd be able to bring her along now.
Despite now having everything she'd been desperate for when in her cell, she soon found herself growing bored in solitude. But unfortunately the only company in the house other than herself was Rafe.
Around two in the afternoon she found herself mindlessly strolling the corridors of the second floor, allowing herself to grow familiar with the upstairs halls as much as she had the first story.
Approaching a doorway she found herself drawn to the sound of Rafe's voice. She grew closer slowly as fear pricked her heart that somehow it was Ward he was speaking to, even though she was positive he had yet to return. Peering into the room she found to be a study, much like the one she'd followed Rafe into days ago but much more empty.
Alone he paced the room rapidly, muttering to himself quietly. She was unable to make out what exactly he had been saying, but she recognized the rapid rise and fall of his chest as his face lightly coated in sweat. She'd seen this look on him many times before and knew him to be in the process of losing his shit.
She couldn't deny that she'd find maximum entertainment when he was in such a state, and not quite sure what she was getting herself into, she entered the room standing just beside the entryway.
It seemed she hadn't yet caught his attention as he continued to pace, words spewing from his mouth fiercely. A small chuckle escaped from her lips as she crossed her arms over her torso watching him with amusement.
His head snapped towards her and his nostrils flared instantly. He threw up an arm, pointing to the doorway she stood beside. "Out!" He shouted, but she did not make any movements to follow his icy command.
Something about this seemed a little different than all the other times she'd experienced Rafe on the verge of a mental break, and she'd quickly grew quite concerned about his raging temper. Taking in a breath she shrugged one shoulder taking a few steps closer.
"I said get the fuck out of here, Valerie, okay? I'm not fucking kidding." The words tumbled from his lips harshly as they formed a sneer. From the enlargement of his pupils she could insinuate he was high at the moment, the drug intensifying his emotions which clearly were targeted on fury at this time.
She couldn't help her lips tug upwards as she planted herself firmly in place. "Why don't you calm the hell down instead?" She suggested.
"Calm down?" He bit out a hysterical laugh. "Don't fucking tell me to calm down when you have no idea." He paused abruptly, jabbing his index and middle finger harshly at his own chest a few times. "What the hell I have to deal with."
She snorted softly. "What you have to deal with? Please, do enlighten me. I didn't realize sniffing coke and relaxing on some luxury private island was so difficult." He shot her a glare as his breathing sped up intensely. "Really, what's your problem?"
He slowed his rapid pacing around the room, stopping for a moment to let his eyes drag over her. She noticed the glint of rage transforming in his eyes as he watched her with distaste. "My problem is, I have a father who left me here for who knows long with some cunt I have to babysit, while he's off doing fucks knows what!"
"Ouch." She threaded sarcasm through the word, sending him a overdramatic pout.
He sniffed loudly, running a hand across his nose where reminants of a white powder were brushed off. His phone which had been clutched tightly in his free hand was suddenly sent flying across the room. The device smashed against the wall with an intense force and broke apart into separate pieces.
He stalked towards her, backing her against the wall until she was pressed firmly up against it. He slammed his hand down harshly right above her shoulder and inches away from her head. "I told you." He sucked in a shaky breath. "To get the fuck out."
Smiling tightly, she rolled her eyes. "And I thought I made it clear a few minutes ago that wasn't going to happen."
He lifted his hand and repeatedly slammed it down, the sound hammered in her ears and each time it landed down it grew just a smidge closer to her head, but he did not touch her. She blinked slowly but did not flinch at his rapid movements. "You don't scare me." She breathed. "Never have, never will." She pressed both palms into his chest and forcefully pushed him back with every bit of strength she had. He was sent stumbling a few steps back but caught himself.
His sharp breaths slowly turning into a harsh hyperventilating, as he resumed his pacing. As his hands flung up in the air, one swiping a shakily through his hair, she realized this was something she'd never dealt with before, and in this moment he had totally lost it.
"Go ahead." The words left her lips softly. "Let it out."
As if he needed permission something clicked in him and he whirled around slamming his fist into the wall. Smashing a hole through the dry wall a puff of dust fluttered around when he ripped his hand free. A guttural scream ripped itself from his throat, bellowing out all through the entire house.
She took a few cautious steps towards him. "Now." She spoke in the same soft tone as she reached out curling a hand around his bicep. He immeaditly flinched away from her touch but that only encouraged her more, as she reached out once again with a grip more firm. This time he didn't move away but snapped his head towards her. His face was void of emotion but his eyes held a certain kind of glare. "Calm the fuck down. And I mean it. If you don't learn how the hell to control your shit, one day you're gonna go down a road that's too far even for you."
He took a few deep breaths trying to steady his breathing, and it seemed almost as if he had began to take it down a few notches. But still with the remains of some anger bubbling, he turned and stormed out from the room.
The rest of the day had passed in a blur. She wasn't sure if she'd been avoiding him, but she had shut herself in her room as the sunlight slowly faded into a dark empty sky. She no longer contained the energy to read so she'd settled for laying in bed, resting her eyes, and waiting for sleep to take over.
She felt herself dozing off as she curled up in the soft silky sheets of her bed facing the wall. Alertness spiked through her body like a flash of pins and needles as she heard her door slowly creak open. Considering it too late in the night to deal with Rafe's shit, she kept her eyes screwed shut hoping he'd believe her to be sleeping and leave.
But he didn't. The steps of his feet across her hardwood floors grew louder as he approached. She felt the mattress dip as he took a seat on the edge, silently acknowledging that she was asleep.
Unsure of what he was doing she made no sudden movements to signal she was not in fact sleeping, she took slow and steady breaths. waiting impatiently. Her hand resting just underneath the covers curved into a tight fist just in case she'd need to defend herself.
"I know you probably hate me now." His words were spoken softer than she'd heard in years. "And If I could be a different person, I would."