Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuhu!
So I'm asuming you guys prayed right? *glares* Cool. Enjoy! I'm serious though people. As much as I love you guys, I'd never love this story as much as prayer. Please for the sake of Allah, don't abadnon your prayers for this. :)
Samaar
Well after getting back to America a week ago... Khatirah literally called me out of class. I gave her a hug after not seeing her for a full month. She hugged me back too a little awkwardly.
"What's up with you?" I asked, as she just stared at the ground awkwardly.
"I should have told you this in the messages but... I felt like you should know about all this crap in person." I nodded, as I narrowed my eyes and raised my right eyebrow. Then I looked straight up at her.
"It's with Jaffar, isn't it?" I asked.
"... That Bastard." She said. I looked at her a little horrified at her language, but then I laughed because from her mouth it didn't even sound like a swear word. She didn't even notice until she heard me laughing.
"What's wrong?" She asks.
"You swore."
"Oops." She said with a tired laugh. "Samaar! Help me! I talked it out with Amarah but ugh, I don't know anymore. It's just annoying. He's been coming after me EVEN during my break. And the worst thing is, he's sucking up to my parents. He keeps begging me to... it's too stupid to say."
"Just say it." I said calmly with a confused look on my face.
"Okay, so the thing is.... Um you wanna go hang out at the library so I can tell you?" She asked with pleading eyes.
"Sure...." I said, knowing that I'd be missing class. But I could probably ask Sareena to record the lecture. "Just one sec." I took out my phone and sent Sareena a text and immediately after a full second passed by, she gave me the thumbs up. Cool, I'm set for today. We started walking towards the library which was in the next building. "Spill it. Every single detail. Amarah told me how you legit blew up like a bomb."
"Haha... well, you see, I'm completely innocent. I might have thrown a glass flask at the guy, but it was for a good cause." A glass flask??
"And what cause was that?!" I asked, horrified.
"He was bothering me! It was horrible! I almost cried tears of blood!"
"Dude! That doesn't mean you can go around cracking people's skulls with a glass flask!" I finished off, trying to calm down. I started laughing for some reason. It was fun talking to Khatirah, especially when she was so unpredictable. She started laughing too but then she stopped.
"Oh, that's not all though." She said in a low voice.
"Let me guess, he threw one at your head?" I asked. She let out a laugh.
"Actually no. It's more like, I was a monster the first moment but then I was afraid of myself the next moment so I ran out almost crying, but I didn't cuz you know... I'm just too cool for that." She finished off with a worried look. I raised an eyebrow.
"Un-hunh." I said sarcastically, "And so the problem is?" I asked.
"I feel really bad... But then I don't cuz he finally stopped coming after me for help."
"This help you're talking about... What exactly is it again?" I asked, not remembering if she told me or not.
"Well... The thing is... His parents are trying to get him married off to a religious girl and he doesn't want to marry her. And his parents love me a lot so if I talked them out of doing so, he'd leave me alone or something like that. Actually he said, he'd do anything if I talked to them for his sake. So I told him to leave me alone and not come near me. But then he told me he won't leave me alone until I actually helped him. He started pesturing me so much that I got super annoyed. And now... I feel guilty for smashing a glass flask into his head." She said, sighing. "The professors don't know a thing about the small white bandaid on his head so it's all good."
"I don't know what to say honestly." I say, sounding shocked and amused. Amused is what I was mostly at the moment. "What do you seriously want to do?" I asked. "I mean, he's asking for your advice. So you can technically butt into his life for the moment and help him. You don't have to ignore him. Well, of course you have your limits to keep. But if you want to ignore him completely, it won't help. Because what you're doing now is telling yourself to ignore him. But when you're telling yourself to ignore him, you're still acknowledging him. Did you notice that?" I asked.
"Woah... I didn't." She said, shocked. "But it's all good though. Because I have a sincere hatred toward him." I raised my eyebrows again.
"Do you mean it?" I asked. She nodded. "That sincere hatred towards him still means you acknowledge his existence all the time. "
"What am I supposed to feel then?" She asks me confused.
"Nothing." I reply. "Nothing at all." I smiled and she grinned back.
"So what should I do?" I shrug my shoulders. "I guess I should help him and get it done with so I don't have to care about him anymore." We were sitting at a table near the entrance of the library. Suddenly, Jaffar was standing over Khatirah's shoulder.
"And I guess you should look behind you too." I said, looking directly at Khatirah. She gave me a baffled look then turned around to find Jaffar staring down at her.
"Can I talk to you?... In private?" He asked Khatirah.
"Um... sure you can talk to me. But not in private." Khatirah said awkwardly. He took a seat between me and Khatiah. I yawned unconsciously, then rubbed my eyes. I guess I should chaperon these little tempermental childhood friends.
"Uh, about the other day..."
"I'm sorry. I was just super annoyed and my boiling point was reached." Khatirah said interupting him as she kept her stern gaze toward me.
"No, I'm sorry too..." He said. Oh? Sorry from his mouth? Khatirah seems pretty lucky. "And I'm sorry to you too. I shouldn't have done that to you." He said, looking at me. I was staring at Khatirah a little dumbfounded. Did he just apologize to me? I didn't say a word, and he went on. "Khatirah, I know I'm asking for too much after what I've done to you and your friend, but you gotta help me. It's serious."
"Jaffar. I'm trying to, but how am I supposed to lie to your parents?" Khatirah asked.
"You don't have to lie. Just tell them to break off this whole marriage crap.... I mean talk."
"And with what reference am I supposed to convince them to break it off?" Khatirah asks.
"Can't you just come and talk to them?" He asks,in a pleading voice.
"Fine. But you have to promise me one thing. You gotta leave me alone after this." She says reasonably. I'm just sitting here, looking at the clock ticking behind Khatirah's head.
"... Sure." He replies.
Ten minutes after that awkward encounter, Khairah and I were out of the library, looking for the pizza place we've literally named as our meet up place.
"So you're serious about it?" I asked.
"Yeah I feel pretty bad for bashing a glass flask into his head." She says nodding. "Now I feel like playing basketball...." She said sadly.
"You really love sports, don't you?" I ask.
"If only my mom had let me continued to do sports and gym in highschool." She said, looking up at the clouds with her fists clenched.
"Why didn't she let you?" I asked after letting out a laugh.
"She said, it's not proper for me since I'm a girl." She said with a harsh tone with a scowl.
"Yeah, with co-ed, it's sort of awkward, isn't it?" I asked.
"Not really. I just loved playing around and scoring goals, that's all there was to my gym classes. The guys in my class would treat me so gently at the beginning of the school year, asking me if I was okay and all. But then by the end of the year, they stopped asking me because I was an animal when it came to sports."
"That's where we're the complete opposites. I hate sports. But I don't mind it that much. I would have loved it too, if my parents didn't make me do Arabic Calligraphy for a hobby."
"Arabic Calligraphy?" She asked. I nodded. I actually loved doing it. I haven't been doing it for years.
"Is Amarah out of class yet?" I asked, wondering out loud.
"Nah, she still has a few more minutes." Khatirah said. "I'll send her a text to meet us here." I nodded.
"We have an history class next after an hour." I said quietly. I was really tired.
After an hour of our meet up, Amarah and I rushed to our class. It was just simple and plain history... or I hope it was. Amarah kept talking about how serious Khatirah and Jaffar's fight was. She was so shocked but her reaction was hilarious.
"Before she realized what she did, Hani, Qamar and I grabbed onto her and asked her to calm down. But she just ran out afterwards when she finally understood what she did. It took us a minute to find her. She was in the bathroom washing her face over and over again as if to snap out of it or something. That was the day before the break. You guys left early because your exams finished early remember?" I nodded.
"Woah that seems..." I shook my head. "I don't know. For some reason, I'm happy she stood her ground but then I'm also worried. She just agreed to help him before we met you, remember?" I asked her. When we met Amarah, we told her everything, and she was super frustrated because Jaffar was ruining our peaceful days at uni.
"Trust me. What ever's going to happen... might be for the best. He'll get off her back soon enough. It used to be funny seeing them fight. Now it just got serious. Did something happen?" Amarah asked me. I don't really know if I should tell her that I got harassed. Some things should be kept hidden. I'm not going to start telling people this, so they can change their opinion of him. He still needs to face the world and he already has a bad reputation at the moment.
"Oh, look! We have a new prof!" I said, looking at the front as we walked in.
"Uh, that's cool, but you still didn't answer my question, Samaar." Ha... Amarah just can't let stuff go sometimes.
"Uh, well. The thing is..." I said, slowly.
Amarah
"Yeah?" I asked, feeling something fishy going on. By the time we find a seat in the fourth row, class has already started. I nudge Samaar, and she gives me one more look, then she scribbles something down on a sheet of paper.
I'll tell you after class, she writes. I frown but before I can argue with her, our professor slams a huge textbook down on a desk in the second row.
"If you can't sleep at home, then don't sleep in class either!" The professor says angrily. I thought she was super nice, but she's acting like a beast. Poor guy...
"Mrs. I can hear you nice and clear. I don't get why you're screaming." The guy says loud and calm.
"Oh really? If that's the case, why don't you pay attention to when class starts?" She asks sternly, speaking a little bit lower than before but she was still addressing him in front of the whole class. He doesn't answer, but instead tries hard not to smile. What is up with him anyways. I sigh and Samaar yawns. This is going to be one heck of a class if she doesn't start teaching now. Does she have to pick random fights with people she's just met. "Were you up all night praying?" She asks with disgust. Hold up... what's wrong with this lady? Does she even realize what course she's teaching? It's all about Islam and half the class is Muslim.
"And what if I was?" He says. Well... was he? Yes? No? Maybe?
"Then I'd like to ask you, what do you get out of praying every night? You're just missing your sleep. Those five obligatory prayers you have seem useless to be honest." She wasn't saying it in a harsh tone but she also had some hatred stuck to her tone nonetheless. She waited for a response, and that's when one kid got up and left the classroom.
"Miss, you must be an atheist, am I right?" This time it was her not answering. "Those five obligatory prayers we have aren't there to please our lord. But they're there to fulfill that obligation. Our lord gave us so much to be thankful for, but praying five times a day seems useless to you?" He asks rubbing the back of his head. I wasn't shocked at his response, but I was still amused. I felt like I could listen to him forever and ever. When I looked over to Samaar, she had a nasty glare on her face. She was staring at the teacher with hatred. But when I nudged her, she turned to me unconsciously and stared at me.
"Calm down." I mouth, and she smiles a sad smile. I could tell exactly what she was thinking. How could someone from another faith or none at all, think it's okay to call another faith's obligations useless. I mean, that's what I was thinking right now. It's called obligatory for a reason.
"Our lord gave us eyes to see through, a mouth to communicate, a body to function, a house to live in and food to survive with and so much more. Aren't those obligations the least he can ask for? Or does it seem oppressing? Do you think we need freedom? Cuz we don't. In fact if we do need freedom, it's freedom from you. i haven't even spent a full ten minutes in this class and you attack my faith." He says sarcastically putting his hand to his heart. I let out a laugh without even realizing it and people near me start looking towards me... including the guy. He grins at me, then turns back to the teacher and says "Bye." He says loud and bluntly as he takes his leave. I put my head down, a little embarrassed to find Samaar laughing at me silently. Wait... he wasn't looking at me and smiling, was he? Nah... I don't think so. Wait... Amarah, you need to stop smiling. You're already promised to another man. I stand up as well and begin to leave. The teacher just stands there looking at the whole class.
"Anyone else wanna leave?" She asks as she glares at me. I smile, and politely stop by next to her before I leave.
"Miss, don't be so rough. It's bad for your health. Hatred isn't healthy." Then I left. Samaar followed me out shortly.
"I had a feeling she was going to ruin my love for history." Samaar said a little down.
"Tell me about it..." I said, opening a door in the hallway.
"By the way, don't you think the guy back there was... I don't know, funny?" She asked me. I could tell she was teasing me a little. I gave her a grave look and she stopped smiling. "Oh come on, Amarah!"
"I literally embarrassed myself back there!"
"On the plus side, you didn't act in anger like I did and told her to live a healthy life." She said, chuckling.
"Samaar, you're going to meet a bunch of people here who won't understand you for who you are. They'll throw bombs at you and call you a terrorist. But there's still good people out here. There's no reason to hate people for that. We all have our own opinions of different things."
"Yeah. I know. It's just that... I've lived such a sheltered life back home in Canada, that i forgot people like this actually exist. I mean, she didn't even say something totally offensive like calling us terrorists or something but it just hurt anyway. But um... did you not see how the guy back there was smiling like a fool at you?" Samaar asks. I blush without knowing it.
"I think not." I say with enthusiasm. What if he was staring at someone else?
"But I, however, think so." She says, crossing her arms. "Too bad you're practically married to a man, you've never met." She says, narrowing her eyes as she looks at me. "Oh, yeah... what ever happened to him?" She asks.
"Uh...Well.... Our families are meeting in two weeks to actually confirm the whole marriage thing and when it's going to take place." Whenever I mention marriage, I get extremely nervous.
"But you guys are mostly going to get married after you graduate, right?" Samaar asks. I let out a sarcastic small laugh.
"I wish... But unfortunately, the Nikha (Islamic marriage ceremony) will happen as soon as possible." I mumble, feeling a little scared all of a sudden. She stares at me with her jaws dropped. "But, the good news is, we won't be living together as of yet. Probably after graduation." I say.
"Oh... Amarah, are you okay with the marriage conditions though?" Samaar asks as she stops walking. "I mean, you've never seen the guy either."
"I'm fine with it. It's cuz I did Istikhara a year ago when my parents brought it up, and as you know, I don't really care for looks. I just hope he's a good Muslim. That's all I ask for."
I mean, that's what I hope he will be. Only Allah knows what will happen next.
Khatirah
I can't believe I'm doing this. I haven't seen his parent for like five years or something, and now I'm standing at the doorsteps of their house. Ya Allah, please help me out here. I just want to get over with this situation. I raise my hands to knock on the door. I knock three times and no one is at the door as of yet. Maybe this is a sign... I should leave, right? Before I take a step back, the door opens wide open, but I see no one. When I look down, I see Jaffar's mom. She's in a... She's in a wheelchair. I gasp, and put my hands over my mouth. Not to be dramatic but I've seen her years before and she was young, beautiful and healthy back then.
"Assalamualaikum... Khatirah, is that you?" She asks. I nod and say salaam back to her. "I haven't seen you in years! How are you doing?" She asks me hysterically. I smile, and walk in as she motions for me to come in. The house is dark, and things aren't looking so good.
"What happened to you?" I asked, referring to her wheelchair.
"Oh... well that was... this happened during the time of our move. It's nothing new." She said, pushing herself into the living room on her wheelchair. I grabbed her chair from behind and helped her into the kitchen. I gave her a hug.
"How are you doing nowadays? Is Jaffar bothering you?" I asked with genuine concern. She nodded her head in disappointment, and had a sad face stuck on. I could imagine how much of a pain he was. Before he was going to move away, he started becoming a stupid teen rebel and I was so annoyed with him but we hung out unconditionally which turned super awkward when he told me he was moving. I honestly didn't know what to say to him. Being the idiot I was back then, I became instantly mad at him because of a stupid prank his friends did to me. So while he was leaving, I said nothing to him. I regret not talking to him and saying a proper bye to him, but when you find a dead fish in your locker with a huge roach infesting your books, I don't think any girl would even want to talk the the guy who caused all of it. I did punch him for it the day I found out though. It wasn't so satisfying. That was the day he told me the reasons why guys didn't like me; because I was too strong for their puny little bodies. I was super hurt that day, and I guess that's when it happened... I stopped talking to him.
Jaffar's mother tells me to sit as she boils some water for tea. I tell her there's no need for it but, she doesn't listen.
"What about you? Have you gotten any proposals from any young men?" I almost choke on my own spit.
"Ha... Why would you say that Aunt?" I say slowly.
"It's because you're growing so beautifully and you don't seem much of a tom-boy anymore." She replied. Well, that's true, I am beautiful. I flip my hijab in my mind.
"Aunt, are you trying to say that I wasn't beautiful because I was a tom-boy back then?" I asked her, with a hurt voice. She laughs, getting lost in her thoughts.
"It seems like only yesterday that i saw you. But now today, you're all grown up, probably a fiance to a great man by now." She says shaking her head. Wait what? A great man? The only great man I could think of was that adorable convert back in high school. It was a great memory... really. If it were one of my friends I'd be talking to, I'd probably be going on about how amazing his hair was when he took off his kufi at our local masjid. His face was just perfect. Oh, how I wish he would notice me, but I don't think I'm ever going to see him ever again. I let out another sigh.
"Acually Aunt, I'm not married and neither am I getting married anytime soon. My parents belive that studying is the best solution for me at the moment, so I can get a job quick." I say. Her eyes grow wide open.
"Khatirah, you're not promised to any young man, are you?" I shook my head, cooling down the hot tea she passes me. Her teas were the bomb.
"No, Auntie, what type of guy would love a girl that still goes around playing basketball and all types of sports. Men have such horrifying tastes. Tsk, tsk, tsk. I get the shivers just thinking of the perfect guy Allah has chosen for me. And by Allah's will, if someone does come into my life, I won't excpet him unless I'm sure that he's going to be the one dragging me to paradise and not hell." I say the last sentence in Farsi and she giggles.
"Khatirah, you still think like a child. But you're very passionate." She says as she joins me at the table with her wheel chair.
"Auntie, enough about me. What type of accident was that?" I asked, referring to the accident that led her to being in a wheel chair.
"It was two months after we moved here and Jaffar's father wanted to take me out to dinner because of all the stress I had from raising Jaffar. Jaffar was becoming a really troublesome child. He didn't listen to anyone anymore. He started taking pride in his beauty and started pleasing the ladies instead of the creator." She said with a funny face. I laughed at that.
"He is known as the pretty kid at our University." I say to her.
"Wait, you guys go to the same university?" She asks me. I nod.
"That's how I found out where you lived. So I came to visit you." She smiled at me sadly. "Auntie, come on. Smile like you mean it!" She grinned and went on.
"Well I lost the ability to walk, my husband however.. lost the ability to live." The cup in my hand almost dropped.
"Wait... what?" I asked, heartbroken.
"He's passed away, Khatirah." We sat there for another two minutes. Memories of Jaffar's dad would occasionally pop up. Jaffar's dad would treat me like his little princess all the time since he and his wife didn't have any daughters. Why didn't Jaffar tell me anything about this? Was it because the first time I saw him in uni, he was making out with a girl in the corner of the hallway? Maybe?
I don't think I can do this... How am I supposed to talk to her about something like stopping Jaffar from marrying a religious girl, when all she has is Jaffar? And all her troubles are due to him? Maybe that girl might be able to help this household. Maybe, she'll be able to her Jaffar's mother?
After another ten minutes of talking to her, I decided to take my leave.
I guess I'll hold off on the whole destroying his future marriage.
That marriage is all that his mother can hope for.
From this day onward, I decided that I would continue visiting his mother. When I told my parents about Jaffar's mother, they went to visit her themselves.
Samaar
I just got home from uni around eigh o'clock. I think it's already been a full week since I've seen Sheath. We don't really text or call. But from time to time, he or I would randomly pick up the phone and dial the number, asking how our days were. We were actually a really boring couple at times, or so I'd think. Aakifah would laugh at our conversations because I was always a little blunt sometimes but what the hey? It's all good, Alhamdullillah (Praise be to Allah). When I come out of my room all changed, I find Aakifah in the living room, sitting on the couch with her eyes shut.
I sneak up behind her, and place my hands on her shoulder. She immediately screams, startled by me and I laugh my butt off.
"Relax, Aakifah! Calm it!" I say in between my laughs. She just shakes her head, then turns quiet again.
"What's wrong?" I ask. She shakes her head once more.
"Samaar..." She says slowly.
"Yes?" I reply. She looked exhausted.
"I'm pregnant."
"Come again?" I ask, holding the question mark on my face.
"I'm pregnant." She repeats.
And that's when fireworks go on and off in my head.