⌠ 1 ⌡
Days are getting longer.
Heat shimmers off the asphalt roads outside.
There's a cadence in the air,
as spring shifts slowly towards summer.
I've always thought that
the brilliant blue sky
brings some measured
sadness
into my heart.
An unbearable welling of emotion
from deep inside me.
As if nothing will be
as beautiful
ever again.
⌠ 2 ⌡
She sits across from me.
We're back at the cafe
as we always are.
She twirls her pink hair around her fingers
like always.
Every time the shop doors open,
a warm draft flows in.
The warmth tickles my skin.
She is humming happily,
bobbing her head,
sipping her lemonade.
Her lips are shiny,
lip gloss or her drink?
I can't tell.
She notices me staring. "You do that a lot nowadays."
"What?"
"Always looking at me."
"Sorry. I was just in thought."
"Thinking of how beautiful I am?" She winks.
"Sure, sure. Whatever you want to think."
"Hey."
"What?"
"You know, it feels so strange to graduate."
"I can't imagine."
"Of course you can't." She laughs.
"I still feel like a child," she says.
"That's how everyone feels, don't they?"
She shakes her head. "That's not what I mean.
Remember our seniors from last year?"
"Not really," I say.
"Well, you being the exception, we all thought they looked so cool."
"Huh."
"Miyamura-san, the textbook genius. Sayaka-san, the dignified beauty. You know?
They had stature. They looked like they had a plan after graduation.
Here I am, all confused."
"I don't even know who those people are," I say.
She shakes her head. "You really are clueless."
I give her a small smile. "Maybe. But you are too."
She glances up at me and our eyes meet.
She looks so beautiful underneath the soft
lights of the cafe.
Her gaze drags me in,
powerful and straightforward as always.
She is sometimes callous and harsh,
but underneath it all,
her kindness overflows
from behind her rough facade.
I want to say it.
Say my feelings out loud to her.
Spill everything I've been holding back.
"Hey, wanna take a walk?" She says.
"Okay."
⌠ 3 ⌡
The air is heavy and warm.
The sky is blue as could be,
clouds stretching past the horizon.
We walk together,
side by side.
The street is busy,
cars passing by,
people passing by,
children playing.
Her arms brush against mine
sometimes.
We walk from the cafe and past the school.
We walk past the shops
and apartments
and the park
until she stops.
A grassy hill,
overlooking a river.
She goes ahead of me and sits in the grass.
I do the same.
We don't talk for a long time,
only taking in the scene.
The water sparkles.
The sky is still blue.
And Ai is sitting next to me.
⌠ 4 ⌡
"Hey," she finally says. Her voice is quiet. "You asked about it once."
"About what?"
"About me and Takeshi."
"Oh. That..."
She turns towards me, a pained smile on her face.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you that one time."
"Why are you sorry? It was my fault for asking something so insensitive."
She nods vigorously. "Yup, it was pretty dumb of you."
"Look, when have I ever been good with people?"
"Hm..."
"You don't have to think so hard about it!"
"You're right. The answer's already obvious."
I give her an exasperated sigh as she grins.
"Give me a little credit here."
"Well, you're talking to someone as pretty as me.
I'd say you made good progress."
"Meanwhile your personality hasn't changed at all."
"Oh shut it, I'm way nicer than I used to be.
I don't even bully underclassmen anymore!"
"...and you're proud of that?"
She pauses for a second and peers into my eyes.
"Keichi. I think I'm ready to tell you now."
Somehow, it's difficult to meet her gaze.
I look away.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. Do you want to know?"
⌠ 5 ⌡
Our words hang in the air.
I can feel her eyes still on me.
Why can't I look at her?
"I think...I think it's fine."
"What do you mean?"
"It's fine if you don't tell me."
"Aren't you curious?"
"I am. But you've made up with Takeshi after all.
If you tell me now, I'd probably go punch his smug face for you."
Ai starts laughing.
Somehow, it's a refreshing sound.
It seems the be the first time
she's truly laughed in a while.
"Keichi?"
"Yeah?"
"You're such a dumbass. Know that?"
"Where'd that even come from?"
Before I know what's happening,
her arms are around me, pulling me closer.
"You know,
this should be when you listen to my story
and I'll cry as you hold me
and we kiss underneath the sunset."
Her face is so close to mine,
I can feel her breath as she talks.
"But reality isn't like the movies, huh?"
She pulls away slightly,
until only a few inches
separate our lips,
smirking at me.
"Hey... can you stop?" I say.
⌠ 6 ⌡
"Aw, is this too stimulating for you?" Ai says.
"Stop teasing me."
"Oh? Keichi-kun is angry now, huh~?"
"Stop it!"
I push her away.
She flinches and looks at me, confused.
"...Keichi?"
I lower my gaze.
My hands are clenched,
knuckles white,
breathing hard.
My vision blurs.
"Why?
Why are you so nice to me?
Why do you tease me like this?
Why are you still next to me?
Ai... Why are you leaving?"
The tears come now,
slowly,
slowly,
dripping down.
"You... you know that I like you."
⌠ 7 ⌡
Ai lets the silence drag on.
"For some reason,
it feels like it's been so long
since we sat under the tree," she says, after a while.
"...yeah."
"A lot of things have happened since then, huh?
No one got what they wanted,
but we've still had a good time.
We became friends, found a clubroom. I even graduated."
"Yeah."
"...do you remember what I told you back then?"
I'll disappear from your life.
"I know," I whisper. "I know you're leaving.
I know you don't like me."
What am I saying?
Stop.
Stop.
"So why are you teasing me like this?
It would be so much easier...
if you had just left me alone from the start."
The stark silence is painful,
almost ringing in my ears.
"I see..." Ai finally says. "Sorry for leading you on.
I'll be leaving now."
I hear the soft rustling of clothes.
Footsteps in the grass.
The sound stops for a moment.
"Hey, Keichi?" Her voice is trembling.
I look up at her.
There's a faint glimmer of tears in her eyes.
I can't say anything...
"Baka."
[A/N: It's been such a long time since I updated, but I hope this chapter is satisfactory. I actually rewrote the bottom half of this chapter, lengthening it and making Keichi and Ai's conversation more fluid. I hope it makes sense and doesn't feel rushed! We're really nearing the end of the story.
P.S. I'm thinking of posting a few literary short stories here as well! Please check them out as well.]