It had been about a week since I was supposed to get close to Maddison. Needless to say, I haven't done it.
Every time I tried to, it just got weird. I never thought about trying to be friends with Maddison again, she stopped talking to me and I didn't try to talk to her either, time went by and things fell apart.
It wasn't even like I didn't have opportunities to talk to her because I did. I was spending a little more time with Danny and that lead me to spend more time with Maddison. However, at times it was weird... Maddison and Danny did things they both liked, things I wasn't interested in, such as Tennis.
That was how I found myself falling asleep on Maddison's shoulder as Danny apparently won a tennis match. How do you even score goals in tennis?
But I had a "job" to do and the girls were pressuring me as well. If not whenever they saw me in school, they would do it by texting. One of them created a group chat and Lottie added me and now I had notifications pretty much all the time.
"Wake up," Maddison's voice brought me back from my sleep. I rubbed my eyes. "Here, I got you a hotdog and some ugly coffee thing you like."
I could tell she was trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal but the fact that she knew the 'ugly coffee thing I liked' was not something that just happened. So, me, being me, I pointed it out.
Maddison looked down at her little pretzels and dipped it in cheese. She shrugged and said, "Danny snaps me pictures of it when you guys go out, he makes sure to point out how you ask exactly for half a shot of coffee."
"I can't sleep if I drink too much coffee," I told her, drinking a little. "Does it have caramel?"
"They asked if chocolate or caramel, I didn't know which one so I just went with it." She cleared her throat and awkwardly looked at her pretzel. Why was she being so awkward? "Can I ask you something?"
I nodded but since Maddison was avoiding looking at me, I hummed as well.
"Why are you here?" She asked, turning to look at me. There was no rudeness in her tone, actually, there was curiosity dripping from her words. "I just— you don't even like Tennis."
"This is important to Danny," I shrugged, Maddison turned to look at me funny, "He had been talking about this nonstop, I thought I'd, I don't know, get a little involved in it."
Maddison nodded and looked away just in time to see Danny hit the ball and people cheering when the other player didn't hit it back. I looked down at my hotdog and inspect it. Maddison must have noticed because she laughed and said, "It doesn't have mustard."
I let myself smile and I thanked her. Huh, how nice.
"So," I began, breaking the silence when my thoughts were getting too loud. "I heard you and Sam talk."
Maddison nodded, drinking from her coke. "Yes," She said, "I got her number at the party, Lottie told me she was studying at the university I want to go to, I just wanted to know about it."
"Hard to believe," I muttered.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing," I shrugged. Maddison's famous smirk was in full display, she raised her eyebrows and shrugged back at me, letting the subject go.
"She's not my type, Asha."
"You have a type?" I couldn't help myself, the words just came out of my mouth.
"As a matter of fact, I do," She met my eyes and I could tell she wasn't lying. To be honest, I always thought her type was just... girls.
That's it. Girls.
I tried to think about the five girls. I thought about them enough that I could practically see them. I tried to see any similarities but they were none. Lottie and Becca were both dirty blondes and girly. Cassie was sporty and brunette. Maggie was also sporty and brunette. Nina was a popular nerd, petite and black... they looked nothing alike, the only thing they had in common was that they went to the same school and they were all popular.
What was Maddison's type?
"Do you even know what's happening right now?" Maddison's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Of course," I nodded, "Danny's hitting the ball."
Maddison laughed, hard enough that some heads turned. "Basically, you got no idea."
"Basically."
"Hey, so, listen," Maddison began, she looked away down at where Danny was and then back at me, "We're going to a pizza place after this... maybe if you want, you know, you could come with us and stuff?"
"But we're eating right now?" I motion to her pretzels and my hotdog, she rolled her eyes playfully.
"This is an appetiser or whatever they're called."
"Starters?" I wondered, she shrugged.
"Point is, we always get pizza after the game, do you wanna come with or not?"
I looked at her for a long while, wondering if she meant it for real, if she actually wanted to have me around. Maybe this would be easier than I thought...
"You sure you won't mind?"
"I asked you, didn't I?" Maddison smiled politely.
How could I say no to pizza?
♀ ♀
"Am I the only one who feels a little weird right now?" Danny asked, he was sitting next to Maddison, I was sitting in front of them. We were on the bus. Neither of us knew how to drive or had the intentions to learn. At least me and Danny didn't, I don't know about Maddison.
"Well since you pointed it out, now I do feel a little weird." Maddison elbowed Danny.
"It's just weird that we're in the same place together for longer than 10 minutes." Danny said pressing the STOP button, he got up first. "And you're actually talking to each other."
"It's weird because you're pointing it out." Maddison sighed as we made our way off the bus, "I still want pizza."
"Abuela's Tacos," Me and Danny said at the same time, Maddison let her head hang low. Abuela's Tacos was the best Mexican restaurant in town.
"I knew this wasn't a good idea," Maddison said lowly. "You guys are practically the same person sometimes, which means it'll be 2 against one, which means you guys will get your way."
"You invited me." I reminded her.
"Yeah, I invited you to pizza," she pointed out, "not Abuela's Tacos, we had that yesterday."
"I lost my game; I need quesadillas to lighten up my mood," Danny sighed, walking towards the Mexican place.
There weren't many people around, there was an old Latin couple at the far end, and a man at the register getting a bag from Marta.
"Woah, dejavú," I pointed out, I can't even remember the last time the three of us came here together.
"Yeah, been a long time," Maddison said, guiding us to where we used to sit, I'm surprised she remembered. Danny left to greet Marta. "The last time we came you ate 2 burritos and we had to run to yours because you were feeling sick."
"Good thing I used to live 2 mins away from here," I added. I used to live in a big house with four bedrooms that my parents intended on filling with kids, they were thinking about adopting but when they passed away, Aunt Cecil decided to rent it. There was no point in both of us living in a big house. Besides, too many memories for me, Aunt Cecil thought it was best for me to be away.
"I miss the weekends at that house," Maddison smiled sadly, looking down at her Nike shoes, she took her cap off and put it on backwards, "sometimes I go by and I think— for a moment, I forget and I don't know... I know it's been years but— it still feels weird. Never quite got used to it."
"Us not talking?" I frowned, surprised. I thought Maddison didn't want to talk to me.
"Partly." She sighed, her hands were fidgeting with the tissue box, I knew Danny was going to come at some point but I hoped he'd take longer. "I don't know, I just— it was hard, you know? If it was so fucking hard for me, I can't even begin to imagine how it was for you. I—"
"Guys," Danny interrupted, making his way towards us.
"Later?" Maddison asked, I nodded. I wanted to know what she was saying, what she wanted to say.
A part of me already knew where she was going with it. My parents. Maddie spent a lot of time at my house, my parents sometimes even joked about their second daughter Maddison. They adored Maddison and Maddison loved them the same. But after they passed away, Maddison stayed out of my life completely and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel betrayed by it.
I didn't expect her to come running but— my parents had passed away and I needed her. I needed my best friend, my so-called sister and she wasn't there. I didn't try either and after a while, I think it was just easier that way.
Ignoring the weird feeling I got, I moved over so Danny could sit next to me. He was looking down at his menu, Maddison as well but I couldn't stop staring at her.
Maddison had a thing about sitting. She never did properly. She took the two seats she had, one for her ass, the other to rest her feet. Her back was resting against the glass. She seemed relaxed up until the waitress approached us and Maddison quickly hid behind her menu.
"She's so weird," I mumbled to Danny, he snorted and nodded in agreement. I heard Maddison groaning.
"I'm getting quesadillas with extra cheese, please," Danny said after the girl asked us what we wanted, handing over the menu to the girl.
"Um— I'm not too hungry so I'll just get the big nachos, without jalipeños, please." I told the waitress.
"Do you guys want anything to drink with that?" She asked, she was so nice and new. I don't think I've seen her before.
"Two cokes," I said, Danny nodded.
"And you?" The waitress asked looking at Maddison, or at the menu in front of Maddison's face.
"Enchiladas." She said quickly, her voice deeper. I frowned harder. What the hell was wrong with that girl?
"Maddie?" The waitress asked. Her hands fell to the table and her face completely changed as Maddison slowly moved the menu from her face.
"Hi..." Maddison smiled awkwardly.
"Oh," Danny and I both said, understanding what was happening.
Did Maddison really have sex with every girl in town?
"How's my cousin?" The waitress asked, my eyes flew open despite of all my efforts to keep a straight face. Danny, however, gasped and tried to keep himself from laughing.
"I— I don't really talk to her anymore," Maddison nodded looking down at her menu. Fidgeting with it. "So, enchiladas. Please."
"Right away," The girl said with a monotone voice.
"Her cousin? Really, Mads?" Danny shook his head.
"I didn't know they were related!"
"Well at least she kept her cool, no fights here," I sighed, Danny laughed and Maddison dropped her head on the table.
"This town is getting too small." She mumbled. I shook my head.
"No, this town is fine, the problem is you're running out of girls to mess with," Danny pointed out.
"I agree with you, Daniel," I said, Maddison let out a dramatic sigh.
The way she looked at me, the way her grey eyes met mine and somehow made me feel like she could do no wrong. Maddison had a soft look, her eyes, her face— it just always seemed so delicate. My heart dropped to my feet and I had to force myself to pick it back up and place it in my chest again, forcing it to beat accordingly.
No funny business with Maddison, please.
Danny thanked the waitress when she brought our food and Maddison inspected hers, trying to find something weird, she didn't find anything and we all ate in peace. Danny talking between each bite, saying how good it was that we were together, Maddison didn't say much and neither did I. It was still weird and I was pretty sure that I was going to tell Lottie to find another person to do this because it was all too much for me.
Things got a little awkward when Danny got up and to order takeout for his parents.
"So... is it awkward for you?" Maddison asked me, looking down at what was left of her food.
"A little yeah," That was a lie, it was very awkward.
"Does that mean this isn't going to happen again?"
"Do you want it to happen again?" I asked her a little anxious to hear her answer, "I didn't think you'd want to."
And that did it. Maddison looked up and her eyes met mine. She frowned at me and shook her head.
"Would you believe me if I told you that I've always wanted it to?" Her was voice raspy and low, she always managed to talk like that, so slow that sometimes I wanted her to push her so she'd finish a sentence. "I just didn't know how to approach you. I know it was my fault because I stopped but as time went by, it got harder and harder to just pop up and say hey, sorry I've been distant."
"You never tried."
She quickly looked at me and it seemed to be too much because she looked away just as fast. "I didn't think you'd want me to. You've never been my greatest fan."
"You changed a lot."
"As have you." She shot back, biting her lower lip. "But I guess it's normal, a lot of shit happened, change is bound to happen."
We stayed in silence for a while, not knowing what to say. I wanted to go back to the conversation we were having earlier but I didn't know how to ask about it, how to start it again.
"Did you miss it?" She asked me, moving what was left of her food around her plate, "Us being friends, I mean, the three of us."
"I— that's a bit— I don't know how to answer that."
Maddison smiled sadly, she took a tissue and began ripping it and then making little balls. "I— I missed us. You, Danny and I. We were inseparable. We never had a moment of silence and now we don't even know how to talk to each other. And I know I'm to blame for some of it but— as time went by I just didn't know how to come up to you, how to talk to you. I still don't."
"You could've. You knew me, Maddison, you knew me better than anybody else so you knew that we could've picked up where we left off if you just showed up," I shrugged, trying hard to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "So why didn't you?"
"It was more complicated than that," She shook her head, getting a little annoyed with herself.
"No, it wasn't, Maddison. It was pretty simple, all you had to do was go up to me and say hi. You complicated it."
"No, it wasn't just like that, Asha, I—" She bit her lip, "I just didn't know how. I felt so sad and I kept telling myself that I shouldn't have because they weren't my parents and I should've gone to you but— I just didn't know how."
I stared at Maddison, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to feel.
"I want to be your friend, Asha," She said, catching me off guard. "We can at least try? Or I don't know, at least be civil to one another for old time sakes? I just— I missed it."
I frowned, confused by what this meant. I thought Maddison didn't want to be my friend. I thought Maddison didn't think about me anymore, I thought I was no one to her.
And here I was, being part of a revenge plot against her. How on earth was I going to tell this to Lottie?