When Sam walked in, the atmosphere of the room began to change. I was still annoyed but my anxiety overthrew that.
Sam was pretty much the most wonderful person I've ever met.
She was stunning, and she had that type of personality that just drew you to her, she didn't even have to try.
She smiled at me, and my brain froze.
I mumbled something that was between a hi and hello. Sam chuckled, and my whole body shivered. Her dark brown eyes stared into mine. I wanted to hug her hello or something but my feet were glued to the ground.
"Who is this?" Maddison said, looking at Sam up and down. Her annoying voice breaking the spell I was under.
"This is Sam," Lottie introduced her, "she lives next door to my grandparents."
Nobody said anything for a moment, and awkwardness was radiating off of me. I kept thinking of all the things I could say but with Lottie and Maddison there, my mind was blank.
I opened my mouth, ready to say anything when someone burst inside the room, making us turn to look at who it was.
First thing I saw was his dark purple hair. His brown eyes met mine and he frowned, probably noticing my awkwardness.
"Why are you all— Ahh, Sam," Danny gasped when he saw her, he then looked over at me, then at Lottie, and finally at Maddison. "What's going on?"
Danny's voice was deep and soft. Sweat was dripping from his thick eyebrow, down his cheek and into his three-day beard. He had a light smile on his face, his eyes dancing from one person to the next. He looked slightly drunk and about ready to drag us all to the dance floor, his head was bouncing at the rhythm of the song.
Almost three years on T and he looked the happiest I've ever seen him.
"Your bestie has a little crush, I believe," Maddison blurted out.
My cheeks instantly burning. My mouth dropped open.
HOW DARE SHE?
"Maddie," Lottie groaned, pushing Maddison a little.
I avoided Sam's questioning eyes. I needed a rock to hide under.
I really wanted to leave that room.
"Don't be an ass, Maddie," Danny said, rolling his eyes he walked inside the room, dropping his arm around Maddison.
"The party's outside, people, come on," Danny said, pushing Maddison out the door with him.
I felt panic rising in my chest when it was only the three of us. The awkwardness was too much, the tension and everything—
"I'm going to get a drink—" Lottie said, biting her lower lip.
"I'll go with you." Sam quickly added, following after Lottie, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
What the fuck was Maddison's issue?
♀ ♀
I was waiting for it to be at least 12:30 so I could go home.
After the embarrassment I went through, I decided to stay clear from them all, especially Sam. I sat outside on the swing Uncle Rob took a year and a half to build. I was back to PandaPop when I felt the swing move by someone's weight.
To my side, Sam was getting comfortable on the swing, a beer in her hand. My mouth went dry, I almost dropped my phone when she turned to face me. A hint of a smile on her face. Her dark hair was shorter than I remember. She was wearing a simple but pretty dress, a green one that went perfectly well with her light brown skin.
"I was starting to wonder where you ran off to," Sam said, clearing her throat. "I thought you had left."
"I leave and this party goes downhill," I joked, closing the app and shoving my phone in my denim jacket's pocket.
She chuckled, shoving me a little with her shoulder. "Always the life of the party."
The air around us changed, I relaxed with it. We didn't say much, waiting for the awkwardness to fully fade. The cool breeze made Sam shiver, and before I could think it through, my jacket was off and I was putting it around her shoulders.
I had to ignore my heart when I get too close to her.
"Queers, always carrying chivalry on their shoulders," Sam joked, laughing slightly as she pulled the jacket to cover herself.
"Hard work, I must say," I smiled, relaxing when the awkwardness was entirely gone.
"So, how have you been?" Sam asked.
"Er— I've been alright. You?" I licked my lips, rubbing my sweaty hands on my jeans. "When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning. I just came for Lottie's birthday." She brought the beer bottle to her lips. When her head was thrown back, the light reflected on her cheekbones, and they shone. She had that thing Lottie loved that made your skin glow like a glazing doughnut. Once she finished drinking, she set down the bottle next to the swing.
"So, still no girlfriend?"
I shook my head, looking away from her because it was kind of obvious where this was going and I didn't want her to see me blush.
"I never knew you had a crush on me," She mumbled, "Lottie hint it a couple of times but you know Lottie, you never really know for sure. I just figured you weren't into the whole thing..."
My insecurities started to kick in, "What— what thing?"
"I don't know," She laughed nervously, looking down at her shoes, "I just... you were always so serious, always with a book in your hands. You seemed to have no interest whatsoever in me or any other person. I never would've thought you liked me like that."
I frowned, finally daring to look at her. "Lottie always said it was obvious, I just didn't think you would like me back, so I kept it to myself."
"Why wouldn't I?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowing. I shrugged. It was pretty obvious, she was Sam, she was beautiful and really cool and I was... well, me.
As if understanding me, Sam shook her head and pushed me a little with her shoulder.
When she started laughing, I asked, "What?"
"You're so oblivious sometimes, Asha, I don't know if I find it adorable or frustrating."
I swallowed hard.
"I don't know what to say to that," I admitted.
"You should've told me," She whispered. I gulped when she faced me again.
The feeling of a 'what would've' hanging over us, making me think that perhaps once upon a time, I stood a chance at being with a girl like Sam but unknowingly, I blew it.
I really wanted to punch myself right then and there.
"I'm sure one day you'll meet someone amazing," She said, grabbing hold of my sweaty hand and squeezing it. "And she'll be a very lucky girl."
I looked away from her, reading between her lines, hearing in my head what she didn't say out loud: but that girl's not me.
Sam let go of my hand, throwing her arms around me and wrapping me in a warm hug. It was not that I wanted to cry, it was more like everything was mixing up. I felt overwhelmed with emotions that were coming all at once, tying a knot in my throat.
It was the fact that I was somewhat forcer to come to a place I didn't want to be. It was that I knew no one. Maddison kissed me, therefore ruining my first ever kiss and then basically threatened to ruin my relationship with my only cousin. She then told my childhood crush that I had a crush on her, it only took her like three minutes to figure it out but whatever...
I just wanted to go home. Lay in bed, watch some movies, play some games until my eyes got so dry it hurt to blink... I just wanted to be alone and in peace. Was that too much to ask?
When the clock hit exactly 12:30, Sam decided to head back to the party and I figured it was time for me to make my way home. However, when I was walking out, fucking Maddison stopped me halfway out.
"Leaving so early?" She asked. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes.
"Why are you talking to me?" I asked her. For the past 5 years, Maddison and I went our different ways, I ignored her, she ignored me.
Maddison shrugged. She's got a lollipop in her hand and when I turned to walk away from her, she follows me as if we were friends and just having a casual chat.
"What do you want, Maddison?" I asked her, stopping only so I could face her.
I didn't like arguments, I didn't like losing control of my temper but Maddison always knew which were the right buttons to press to make me lose my shit. Even now, she even seemed to enjoy it while she looked down at me with her stupid smirk.
"Where's your little crush?" She asked, pointing at me with her lollypop.
I slapped it away, making the damn thing fly out of her hand. Maddison snorted, looking at her lolly on the floor. My cheeks burning with anger. "Well, that's just rude."
"We're not friends, Maddison—"
"But we were."
"But we're not anymore, you stopped talking to me, you walked out of me, so you don't get to just pop up one day and talk to me like nothing," I snapped, glaring at her. "much less when you— when you did what you did back there."
Maddison rolled her eyes at me, looking bored. "Relax, it was just—"
"Piss off," I said, pushing her away so I could leave this stupid party and get back to the comfort of my room.
"She's cute," Maddison said, following behind. "Your friend. Not exactly my type but..."
I turned to face her, she was observing me carefully. Her smirk was in place just as cold as ever, her grey eyes shone with excitement as she waited for my reaction.
I couldn't keep my voice from shaking when I said, "You wouldn't."
Her smirk grew. Maddison always liked to play the part of the wicked witch from a bad yet modern fairy-tale. "Oh, but I would."
I took a step closer to her. I knew that yes, she totally would, and I couldn't even stop her because Sam and I were nothing, never have and never will be anything. Sam was free to do anything she wanted but— Not with Maddison...
Maddison would only play her, she would only hurt Sam.
"What do you want?" I asked.
Maddison shrugged, folding her arms across her chest.
"Have a good night, Asha." She said as she turned around and walked back inside the house.
And just like that she left me there, clenching my jaw as I watched her go, wondering when exactly the Maddison I knew became this egocentric asshole that walked away from me.
Danny often told me how Maddison was not what people thought she was, how it was a front, a fake, all pretend, but I think Danny has been with Maddison for far too long and has learnt to overlook the amount of messed up things Maddison does.
Sighing, I turned away and began to make my way home, my feet feeling heavy and my mind full of thoughts.
How did one night become so fucking exhausting?