{edited}
May POV {16 years ago}
"What?!" I hear my Dad's voice say loudly with anger. "You are joking right?!"
I walk down the stairs and sit on the steps.
"John I'm sorry-"
"May isn't mine?! That's why she doesn't look like me?! Who the hell is her father then?!"
"You are!" I hear my mother shout back.
"To hell I am! She's not even mine?! The fucking real father can raise her!"
"John, please just..."
"Just what? Accept the fucking fact that she isn't related to me?!"
"She is, in a way." Silence falls for a long time.
"Nick is her father?!" My fathers voice says with rage. "Are you fucking serious?!"
"I'm sorry!" My mother sounds like she's crying. Something slams and I go to the kitchen.
I see my Father turn toward me and as well as my Mother. "May go upstairs." My Mom says. Her eyes look red and sad.
"I'm cold." I respond.
"You have a blanket." She growls.
"But it's not keeping me warm." I say.
"May, just go upstairs." My father says. His voice is soft. I sniffle.
"I'm cold though." I say again. My mother leaves the kitchen angerily. She soon comes back with a blanket from the couch and throws it at me. I stumble back a bit.
"There, you brat. Now go." My eyes well up by her actions and words.
"You have to call her a brat?! And fucking throw it at her?" My father snaps back. My mother remains silent.
I feel tears run down my cheeks. "Why aren't you going?" She asks. "You have your blanket, now go."
I look down at me feet and pick up the blanket. My father kneels down in front of me and wipe the tears leaving my eyes. "Do you need anything else May?" I shake my head 'no'. "Can you please go upstairs? Your Mom and I need to talk." His voice is gentle. I nod. He kisses my cheek and stands up.
I walk away and go to the stairs. I use my hands to help me go up.
"Wow heartwarming." My mother says sarcastically.
"She doesn't deserve to be treated like shit just because you opened your legs to my brother. I bought her new blanket, what happened to it?"
"I gave it to Sadie." Silence falls.
I don't hear the rest of their conversation. I open my bedroom door and look around my room. It's very plain.
My walls are white unlike my sisters that have colors. I have a twin bed that has white sheets. I have one pillow, and my blanket is one of those small blankets you can buy at Walmart for 2 dollars.
My dresser is beside my wall closest to my window. Then I have a lamp on top of it.
I slide onto my bed and put my bear on my lap. It's small but it keeps me feeling safe.
My Mom says I need to earn nice things. Maybe I can get a real blanket if I behave well.I wipe my nose and lay down. I stare at my ceiling and bite my lip. I remember one time I took a barbie from Sadie's room to play with and my Mom yelled at me saying it's not nice to take other peoples things. I don't have any toys or books. All of the toys are my sisters.
My door soon opens and I sit up a bit and see my Dad. He closes my door and sits next to me. "I'm sorry that you had to hear the yelling."
"It's fine." I murmur.
"Uh, May?"
"Yes Dad?" His blue eyes meet mine.
"I'll start um buying you more things for your room, okay?"
"Mom says-"
"If she takes it away, let me know." I nod.
"She'll hit me again though." I see his eyes well up. He lays beside me and puts his hand on top of mine.
"Again?" His eyebrows furrow.
"I asked for a new pillow and she hit me." Dad bites his lower lip. He just pulls me into his chest.
"If she does just let me know May." I nod against him. "I love you darling."
"You do?" I ask. He doesn't respond. He just cries gently.
May POV {present}
I'm nervous right now.
You wanna know why?
Because right now I'm standing in a baby store and I'm going to be buying things. I'm currently 7th months and Harry and I figured this time would be a good time to start buying things for our daughter.
Why am I nervous?
There is so much shit she needs and I know none of what she needs besides clothes and diapers.
"Babe, you listening to me?" Harry asks while tugging my arm.
"N-no. Can you repeat?" He chuckles. "Lets pick out a crib and work from there, okay?" I nod. His arm wraps around my low waist and he kisses my cheek. "Don't stress out okay? We'll take it one day at a time."
"There is so much crap she needs and I feel useless."
"Just worry about the crib." We start to walk toward the cribs.
"We didn't even paint her room." I point out. "Are we going to do that or leave it white?"
"What do you want to do?"
"Do you want to leave it white?" I ask Harry.
"We can paint it."
"What color?"
"Baby blue?" He offers. We stop in front of the cribs
"That's a cute color." I say. "What about like a green with the blue? Is that too boyish? See I don't know shit about colors." I huff annoyedly. "Lilac and blue is what we should do. Purple and blue are girly."
"Okay, sounds good with me." His hand falls to my lower back. "Which crib do you like?"
"They all look the same." I say, he chuckles. "But uh, that one." I point to the one in front of us. "It's white and that matches everything, right?"
"Yeah, it does."
Harry puts that in our cart thing. We move onto other shit that makes me more nervous. "Are you going to breast feed?" He asks me as we stand in front of highchairs.
"Were you breast fed?" I ask. His eyebrows furrow.
"I'm not sure." Harry says. "But do you want to?"
"Would it seem unloving if I didn't?"
"No." He chuckles. "Anyways, did you want to get that chair?" He points to the one across from us."
"Do you like it?" I ask him.
"Yeah."
"Then we can get it." I bite my lower lip and take a deep breath.
"You okay?" Harry asks me.
"Yeah, just a little overwhelmed by everything." His arms wrap around me and his lips touch my forehead.
"Why don't we call it a day for now and come back another day?"
"Okay." I say with a nod.
We walk toward the cash registers and pass by baby clothes for girls. Both of us seem to slow down and take a glance. "Can I be honest with you?" I ask Harry.
"Yes."
"I think boy baby clothes are cuter." He laughs. "Is that fucked up to say?"
"No."
"I just don't get why every piece of baby clothes for girls has to be pink." I groan. "Why can't there be more colors?"
"I don't know." We look at the clothes now.
I look at this one dress that is navy blue and has flowers on it. A pink little jacket goes with it and I smile gently. "Whatcha thinking?" Harry asks as he hugs me from behind.
"How I hope I don't mess this up." I murmur.
"You'll be a great Mom May."
"I asked my Mother once when I was 11 for a baby photo of me for a school project. Her response was 'there isn't any'." I bite my lower lip. I feel his lips touch my neck. "A different day I asked if there were any baby clothes that I can see, you know just for fun.
She said I only wore onesie's and they were hand me downs from when Sadie was a baby. I then asked if Sadie just wore onesie's she said no. Sadie wore the dresses, footy pajamas, and everything else basically. I asked why didn't I? Her words were only the pretty babies wear dresses." His grip tightens around me.
"I bet you were the cutest baby May." I bite down on my jaw.
"Can we just make sure our daughter gets a dress?" My eyes sting.
"Of course." He kisses my cheek.
A://N
i'm going to be doing more "flash backs" to may's childhood
comment goal: 40???
tysm for reading
make sure to leave a vote ;)
~lauren