❝Once upon a time, I was falling in love--
now, I'm only falling apart. ❞
The nightmares still haunted her.
The things she had done in those woods-- the people she killed-- they still haunted her.
She was okay now. She was safe. They had found a community-- Alexandria.
They were safe.
Everything was going to be okay.
Natalie stood in the vanity mirror, clutching the necklace around her neck, spinning the gold wedding ring next to the silver number.
She never takes off his necklace-- it's all she's got left.
"I never asked you why you kept that," Rick said from the doorway, surprising her.
"I guess it just makes me feel closer to him," Natalie sighed.
"Another rough night?" Rick asked.
He knew all about the nightmares. He had the same kind. But at least he had Michonne there to help him through it.
Natalie nodded.
"The worst part of it all is when I wake up, sometimes I forget that they're gone. I expect to hear Shane snoring softly next to me. I expect to hear Nicky watching cartoons in the living room at an ungodly volume. I expect to see their smiling faces-- but then I remember. They're both dead. I saw them both dead," Natalie said sadly.
"You never asked me what his last words were," Rick said.
"It's been two years since he died, Rick-- I don't know if I can handle--" Natalie started.
"The words were for you," Rick said.
"What were they?" Natalie asked slowly.
"I'm sorry Nat-- the last thing he did was apologize to you. He wouldn't want you to still be upset. He would want to see you happy," Rick said gently.
Natalie smiled softly.
"He's a part of me now-- the memories, those are what keep me going. And I love him, I still love him, I'm always going to love him. But I know he's still here with me-- looking out for me. I like to believe that he and Nicky are teaming up and being my guardian angels," Natalie said gently.
"I know they are. How could they not want to look after you? Shane couldn't leave you even if he tried-- even when you wanted him gone, he just couldn't leave you," Rick sighed.
"You miss him at all?" Natalie asked.
"Every day," Rick sighed sadly.
"I know the feeling," Natalie agreed quietly.
"He would've liked this place. It would've been the perfect place for us to start over, build a new life. We could've done it, me and him," Natalie said softly, looking out the window into the street where Abraham and Glenn were on patrol.
"But, who says I can't start over? I can build a life for myself here. I understand what it means to be independent now. And I'm okay with being on my own. Besides, I'm never really alone-- the people we love never really leave us, right?" Natalie asked with a soft smile, turning back to look out the window.
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