Taking a final look at my now bare chambers the reality of my current Taking a final look at my now bare chambers the reality of my current situation now painfully sinks in. The time has finally come to leave my home. There is every certainty that I will never see this room again, this room that has been my sanctuary for as long as I can remember. The only place where I could be my true self. A place that I must now leave behind. Although the future ahead of me is a bright one, full of opportunity and prosperity, at this moment, I feel as though a heavy weight sits upon my chest. The nakedness of the room, devoid of all that was familiar, fills me with fear and uncertainty of what may lie ahead and whether I am strong enough to adapt.
After another deep, shaky breath inward, I turn and stride across the room, my riding boots echoing off of the stone floor. Now is not the time to dwell upon my fears. Stopping at my bed I bend and pick up a blue cloak that Enid had left out for me. I swing it over my shoulders and fasten it at my neck. Pausing only for a second, I then leave the room without looking back, closing the door behind me for the last time. As I do, I feel a pang of sadness and I feel the tears threaten. Another deep breath and I hold my head up high and focus on the corridor before me. No tears fall. As I walk, I pull my hair free from beneath the cloak, pull it over my shoulder and I tie it into a messy braid ready for the ride out of Cameliard and towards Camelot.
At the end of the next corridor, both Father and Arthur are already there waiting for me. They both smile as I approach and I feign a happy one in return. I see the sadness in Father's eyes and a hint of concern in Arthur's, but I hold the smile on my face. The last thing I want is a sympathetic conversation about how I'm feeling for I fear that will break me down. I just need to get underway and perhaps think about all of this later.
With mock confidence, I ask; "Are we all ready? Is everything in order?"
Father speaks first; "Yes, we're all ready. Much of our belongings have gone on ahead of us, along with most of Arthur's men. They will make faster progress than us. We will travel in a smaller group behind."
Arthur adds; "Indeed. We shall travel with only the provisions we need, accompanied by my best knights and Merlin. Those that have gone on ahead will quick-march to Camelot."
I nod; "Fair enough, I doubt we could match their pace and there is no need to slow the progress of more men than we have to. I am sure they are eager to return to their homes. How many will accompany us, Arthur?"
"Just under two-hundred men, my Lady," Arthur says softly, searching my eyes for a gauge of how I am feeling at this moment.
I quickly avert my gaze; "Excellent! Well, I am ready when you both are."
With that, we leave the Keep and walk down the steps to the front courtyard, where our troupe and horses were waiting for us.
As we check over the horses and begin to mount, Arthur addresses us all; "Good morning, friends. We all know our destination and I know many of you are eager to return to your homes and families. We may be going home, but we must still ride with caution. We are, of course, riding with King Leodegraunce and Princess Guinevere and their safety is paramount. As such, they will ride between two groups of my best knights."
He beckons over Lancelot and Gawaine and speaks with them briefly. They both nod once he finishes instructing them and then each directs a group of twenty men to form up; Lancelot's group in front and Gawaine's behind Father and myself.
Once they are in formation, Arthur continues; "The ride will take a good six days if the weather stays fair. I expect everyone to be extra vigilant as we travel; if anyone gets into difficulty or believes there is any danger, call a halt immediately. I will take no risks on this journey. Now, on me!"
The young king turns and heads towards the road that leads into the city, followed by Merlin, Lancelot's group, us, then Gawain's men. Behind them, the rest of the remaining knights and the servants follow on.
As we move out, I take one last look back at the Keep that has been my home for my whole life. It's strong walls and towers that have kept me safe, the rooms and corridors I had played in as a child, the study where I was taught to, one day, be a Queen. The memories swirl in my mind, but as they do I know that I have the right decision. My life in Camelot is bound to be different but ultimately more secure, more fulfilling. I must let Cameliard go, as much as the thought both saddens and terrifies me. Feeling a few tears leak from my eyes and down my cheeks, I turn quickly away and focus on the direction in which we are riding. I will not look back again.
Leaving the main courtyard we file through the Keep gates and into the city, where we are met with endless throngs of people. Everyone has come out to see us off and they line every inch of the road through Cameliard. All are cheering and waving, some with little flags. Children sit atop their father's shoulders bearing their own small flags, smiling and laughing. Flowers are being thrown onto the road before us by the women of the city, adding to the sea of colour. It touches my heart immensely to see everyone showing such love and support in light of the decision I have made and to wish me farewell. Our family is truly blessed to have such a relationship with the people of our city and I shall miss that. For every occasion, for better or worse, they support us unconditionally. And for this, especially over the difficult year, we have all endured and the number of men we had lost in our battle with the Saxons, I am forever grateful.
Of course, it is not just for me nor the occasion that they have graced the streets for. It is another chance, for who knows how long, to see King Arthur and the famous knights of Camelot. Another chance to watch in awe at these men in such fine armour, atop tall and magnificent chargers who played such a major part in the salvation of our home. Without them, I dare not imagine the horrors that would have befallen us. They have given our people hope and security, where they no longer have to live in fear of losing their homes or even their lives. Life can continue as it always has, all thanks to the aid that Camelot so courageously provided. Our people have come out today to show their gratitude as well as to celebrate this.
As we arrive at the open city gates we do not stop, we continue on the road that will, in just under a week, lead us to Camelot. The crowds can still be heard over a mile away, the noise of their cheering being carried on the wind at our backs. It's only when we descend down from the first rolling hill that they can be heard no more. The only sounds left now are hooves beating against earth, the clanking of armour and the air rippling through our cloaks. I continue to focus on the direction in which we are riding and remain silent. The fear and sadness had been replaced with a feeling of numbness and right now, that was fine. Showing my vulnerable side was not an option in the light of the journey I am embarking on. There would be time enough for that later.
Just after noon, we slow to a trot and I watch Arthur beckon over a nearby knight. They have a brief conversation after which the knight gallops off ahead.
Confused by this, I pull Ivor over alongside Father's steed; "Where is that knight going? Is everything alright, do you think?"
Father glances at the galloping knight as he shrinks into the distance; "Do not worry, my child; Arthur is just sending a scout on ahead. It's a normal procedure. He will ride ahead to check the way is clear and free of danger, then report back in a few hours."
"But are we not following the path of the men that went on ahead of us?"
"Indeed we are, but you must remember that they are travelling at a faster pace than we. The ever-increasing gap may hold untold dangers, which is why a scout must still be sent on ahead. I'm sure that all will be fine, but it is better to be cautious."
I relax a little as I watch the knight disappear over the crest of the hill before us; "I see."
We continue onward, through mostly grassy plains in the same direction as the scout. After a few hours of riding, our pace alternating between trotting and cantering, we sight a woodland ahead. My eyes trace the road up the next incline and its path leads straight into it. It will be a nice change of scenery from the endless rolling hills and open country.
Slowing to a trot once more as we enter the woods and carry on at this pace for another hour. A halt is called and we all come to an abrupt stop. Looking to the front I see that Arthur has called for it; his arm is high in the air with his fist closed. As all of us fall silent and still, Lancelot atop Zeus makes his way to my side, his hand on the pommel of his sword. I look up at his face fearfully and open my mouth to ask what is happening, but his signals for me to remain quiet. He edges so close that our legs touch and I feel butterflies at the unexpected contact. Then again, that might be the fear of why we have come to a sudden halt. Either way, I am glad that he is right next to me, ready to defend and protect me. I trust him with my life.
As I listen, I can hear the distant sound of hooves. Lancelot, hearing it too, pulls his sword halfway out of its scabbard and tightens his other hand around the reins of Zeus. My heart was starting to pound. The noise gets closer and then a loud whistle comes from the same direction.
I look up at the knight beside me as he drops his sword back into the scabbard and relaxes; "It's alright, My Lady; it seems our scout has returned. I'll go see what news he brings and return to you shortly."
I smile nervously; "Alright, thank you, Lanc...Sir."
Watching him ride over the King, I hear Father from behind me; "Is everything alright, Guinevere?"
Not taking my eyes from the two of them conversing, I reply; "Sir Lancelot is going to find out what the scout has learnt and will return to us in a moment, Father."
"A good man that one, a good knight. Arthur is lucky to have such a commander."
I sigh quietly to myself; "He is indeed."
After a few minutes of waiting anxiously for some information, I see Lancelot split from the King and the scout. Arthur gives the signal to carry on through the woods; that must be a good sign. We follow the line of men before us and as we do, Lancelot returns to my side once more.
I don't waste any time in asking; "Everything alright up ahead, Sir?"
"The way ahead is clear, with no evidence of danger. We continue for another hour until we reach a bit of a clearing and there we shall make camp."
I relax; "I'm glad to hear it. Thank you, Sir."
"You're welcome, my Lady. Is there anything else you need at all?" he asks softly, his eyes looking straight into mine.
My heart skips a beat and I want to ask him to stay beside me, but it would be inappropriate; "No, I'm fine...thank you."
The knight smiles and without another word rejoins the line ahead of us. I know this is the way it needs to be from now on, but I cannot help but watch him for a while. At least there's no harm in that as, to anyone else, I am just looking straight ahead. The only harm I am doing is to myself; longing for this man for whom I have feelings of which that can never be spoken of or acted upon. With that tortuous thought, I tear my eyes away from his back and look anywhere but at him.
An hour later, we reach the clearing that Lancelot confirmed the scout had found and come to a halt. Arthur shouts orders to make camp and prepare for the night ahead. I hop down from Ivor and untie the packs he's been carrying all day, then relieve him of his saddle and reins. Once he's happy, I assist Father in doing the same with his horse then lead them both to the makeshift pen so they can both be fed and watered.
On my way back, I meet with Arthur briefly, who takes both my hands in his; "Good evening, Guinevere. How are you faring after today's ride?"
"Good evening to you, Arthur. I'm well, thank you, just a little weary."
The King smiles warmly; "Completely understandable. I shall send over one of my men to set up tents for you and your father, then you can take some rest before dinner ."
"You are very kind, thank you."
"Anything for you, my love," he says, kissing my cheek and leaving to presumably find the lucky knight that will be assisting us.
In the meantime, I take a blanket from one of my packs, unroll it and sit for a while. I watch the knights bustling about with armfuls of supplies, all with their own tasks to do. Looking up at the sky between the leaves and branches, the sky is turning a dusky pink as the sun sets for the evening. There I sit and wonder if the sky will be clear enough to see the stars later.
My daydreaming doesn't last long, however as I hear footsteps approach.
Striding towards me is a knight that I recognise; "Sir Percival! It's so nice to see you again! How can I assist you?"
The knight grins and bows; "My Lady, it is good to see you again too and I hope to find you well this evening. Our King has requested that I aid you in constructing your tent."
"Oh, thank you!"
"You are more than welcome, my Lady. It's the least I can do after you took such good care of me when I returned to Cameliard injured."
I light up at his recollection, watching as he lays out what he needs to build the tent; "I was happy to have been of help and I am glad to see you returned to health. I trust there was no permanent damage done?"
Percival laughs; "None, my Lady. It was a mere scratch, a sting from an irritating wasp."
I laugh with him; "If that was just a scratch, I shudder to think about the fatal blow you dealt your opponent! After hearing your tale of the battle, I cannot imagine what sort of man could even attempt to smite you."
The knight looks up at me and winks; "An exceedingly brave or stupid one."
"Well, I hope that any man you may meet who is stupid enough to try does not succeed in the task."
As Percival finishes setting the frame of the tent, he says; "I have not met such a man yet, but if I do and he is to be my doom, I shall fight like the devil himself before I meet my maker. Although, I have lately heard rumours that such a person does exist and as such I may need to be cautious from now on."
Shocked by his sudden seriousness, I jump to my feet and walk a little closer to him; "Rumours? Has someone been making threats, Sir?"
"Not to my knowledge, but," Percival pauses and looks around him before continuing; "the rumours say that it may be someone right under our noses, someone close."
"Close? Do you know them, do you think, Sir?"
Percival edges a little closer, lowering his voice; "According to the rumours, they have only recently come into notice in our ranks and they are quite the formidable foe with a gift in the use of the sword. Such a gift that would be more than a match for me."
"No, I cannot believe that!"
"One of the rumours from one of my most trusted sources has said this person...has plans to marry Arthur and become the Queen of Camelot!"
"Marry Arthur and...!" I start in disbelief before realising Percival was actually referring to me.
My cheeks burn with embarrassment; "Oh...did Arthur tell you too?"
Percival's grin grows wider; "He may have let slip that you were an accomplished swordswoman, or was it 'warrior princess'..?"
"Oh very funny, Sir. I'm really not that good...not compared to you and the rest of the knights of Camelot. Or those warriors of anywhere, for that matter. I'm sure Arthur was just making fun..." I say, feeling an utter fool for even saying anything to Arthur at all.
Percival stands before me looking more serious; "On the contrary, the King thinks very highly of the fact you know how to fight with a sword, as do I. As I'm sure all of our fellow knights would too."
"Whatever you both think, I assure you I am a threat to no one. I am a small woman who begged her father to allow her to learn; I'm no warrior."
The knight puts a friendly hand on my shoulder; "It is a great and complex skill, one that takes courage and determination, discipline and patience. All of those things make you a warrior, woman or otherwise. That warrior spirit isn't exclusive to battles and tournaments, you need all of those things to be a King too, or in your case, a Queen."
For a moment I am silenced and moved by the depth of this man's words; "I...I thought it would be seen as a shameful skill to have... It's not deemed appropriate..."
Percival snorts; "Pardon me, but to hell with 'appropriate', my Lady. Arthur will rest much easier knowing that you have the ability to defend yourself if needed, as will we all. Be proud of your talent, not ashamed of it."
I smile up at the knight; "Thank you, Sir. You have given me a lot to think about and I shall not forget your kind and encouraging words."
"Now we're even, my Lady," Percival smiles, bows and returns to the shell of the tent.
I sit back down on my blanket and watch Percival erect the rest of my tent, contemplating his words about being a warrior. The way he spoke of the warrior spirit not necessarily being achieved through fighting skill or bloody battles, but also through other qualities such as mindset and attitude. This is something that I had not considered before. Even if our soldiers and courtiers had deemed my request and consequent lessons improper to wield a sword, I still had the drive to push my Father into allowing me the lessons anyway. I showed a determination to go against the gender rules of our society, discipline to learn the craft and used and patience to improve upon my skills. All of these things are invaluable and indeed go a long way towards being considered a warrior, as Percival suggested. All of the same attributes will also be important when ruling alongside Arthur but will be used in different ways. Thinking about all of this makes me feel more positive about my vocation in swordplay; it's all not about wielding a sword, it's about the person behind it.
Smiling to myself at this realisation, I watch Percival finish the construction of my tent and then go to help Father with his own. It had taken him no time at all! I stand and roll my blanket up roughly, gather my other belongings and arrange them in my temporary lodgings for the night. It would be a few hours before dinner would be ready; the men had only just started the fire at our side of the camp. I take advantage of this time by changing out of my hardy riding clothes into a simple, more comfortable gown. It's a little creased from being folded up so tightly in my pack, but I don't really care. I'm just glad to get out of my stiff leather riding trousers; they are practical for riding, but for anything else they are uncomfortable. Then once I am completely comfortable, I lay out on my makeshift bed and relax, enjoying this little piece of solitude.