My own screams woke me up as I frantically looked around the dark room; my heart racing and my body covered in sweat.
I rubbed at my eyes, trying to calm myself down and catch my breath as I realized it was just a nightmare.
I looked over at the small digital clock beside me, seeing that it was 8:23pm and realizing how long that nap I had actually was.
I sighed, my mind still cluttered with thoughts that refused to quit and a heart that now ached at a memory that I tried so hard to forget.
I decided a cold shower would do me some good, mentally and physically, considering I was now covered in sweat.
***
I switched the icy water back to hot, letting my body warm up, before turning it off and stepping out. With a towel now wrapped around my body, I walked into the bedroom where I had put all the clothes Maggie brought me, before changing into some sweatpants and a t-shirt.
I then walked downstairs and to the kitchen, opening the fridge and seeing the nearly empty container of spaghetti sitting all by its lonesome.
I hadn't bothered with bringing food back over to the house yet, but I knew I'd probably have to do it tomorrow morning.
As I finished off the cold spaghetti, I couldn't help but wonder why my subconscious brought back up that terrible day-- and then it hit me; my gun. That was the gun I used to kill Mason. That was the gun that I had since the very beginning and the only thing left that connected me to him.
I shook my head in an attempt to stop the tears from falling once again; I was tired of crying and desperately wanted to clear my mind.
I then brought the empty Tupperware container over to the sink and began to wash it, knowing that I should return it to Carol and hoping that the outing will help me feel better.
***
I closed the front door behind me; the comfortable night air hitting my skin as I began to walk down the dimly lit road until reaching the house I was looking for.
I knocked on Carol's door, holding the now clean container, before she appeared on the other side.
"Hey, Liz!" She smiled, "I haven't seen you all day, where've you been?"
"I went on a run earlier but kinda crashed for a few hours after that." I explained before holding out the container, "I just wanted to bring back your Tupperware-- the spaghetti was really good, by the way."
She chuckled, taking it out of my hands, "I'm glad you liked it! Did you want me to make you some more? Or I could make something else if you'd like?"
"Oh no, it's fine," I shook my head, "I'm just going to swing by Olivia's tomorrow and pick up a few things."
"Ok, well if you ever need anything special, you know where to find me." She smiled.
"Thank you, Carol." I smiled back, before turning and going back down to the street.
I continued walking in whatever direction my feet took me, not really caring where I ended up, just wanting to do something other than sit alone.
"Liz." A voice said lowly, immediately catching my attention and causing me to look over to a dimly lit porch.
I squinted my eyes, seeing Daryl sitting on the steps against the railing before he flicked his head, signaling me to walk over to him.
I took a deep breath, not wanting to hear anything he might say about what happened today, but deciding to play nice.
I slowly made my way over to him, my arms crossed, "Hey."
"Rick told me you ain't doing runs anymore." He murmured as he continued messing with the crossbow on his lap.
I nodded, "Yeah, just not ready for them right now."
He looked up at me through the messy hair in his face, his eyebrows furrowed, "Why?"
"Why?" I asked confused, "Do you not remember what happened because of me? I could've gotten you killed on multiple occasions; I don't want to deal with that stress."
He shrugged in response, looking back down at the weapon in his lap.
I sighed, "Look, it's pretty clear that you don't want anything to do with me and I get it-"
"I didn't say that." He murmured, cutting me off.
"You didn't have to." I stated, "I can't do these practically life or death trips with someone I have no connection with at all because then one of us will end up dead."
"This group-- these people here," he said, sitting up, "They need supplies and you know how to get 'em."
I nodded slowly, "I just don't want to risk other people's lives."
"You're riskin' lives by giving up on these people, don't ya get that?"
"I'm not giving up on anyone!" I snapped back.
"Yeah? Sure as hell seems like it!"
I took a deep breath, not wanting to add more fuel to this raging fire, "Then what do you suggest I do, huh? Are you gonna be the one to volunteer your life to go on runs with someone who- who can barely defend her self, let alone another person?"
He stayed silent, messing around again with his crossbow.
"I get that you want me to go on runs for this group, and hell, I want to, but we both know that I could've gotten both of us killed today," I ranted on, "If- if it wasn't a walker that might have gotten you, it could've been me. I took a stupid chance that could've gotten you killed because I went back outside those walls when I clearly wasn't stable enough."
"We gotta take chances now; world ain't what it used to be." He mumbled.
I sighed, "Abrahams going to have someone help me get more comfortable with guns tomorrow and then.. I don't know, maybe I'll go on another run again with someone I actually trust."
He lifted his head to look at me, a confused look on his face, "Someone ya trust?"
I shook my head, letting out a small laugh, "Yeah, you know-- someone I've gotten to know, someone I work well with."
He scoffed, "Yeah, whatever."
I nodded, "Thanks for proving my point, Daryl."
He suddenly stood up, dropping his weapon to the wooden stairs beneath him, "What? What'd ya want from me, Princess? Want me to baby ya and tell ya everything gonna be fine? 'Cause it ain't!"
"I want you to stop being such an asshole and treating me like I'm not a person!" I argued back, "You want me to go on runs so bad? You're angry that I don't want to go with some hothead? Then be a decent human being and treat me as an equal; get to know me and understand why I'm having such a hard time with all of this, ok? Don't tell me that I'm just giving up when I'm doing everything I can to provide for strangers I met three days ago!"
He stayed silent once again as his harsh gaze continued to stick on me before the door to the house we were in front of opened, Rick standing on the other side, a concerned look on his face.
"Is everything alright out here?" He asked, stepping slightly onto the porch, "Daryl? Liz?"
I let out a quick breath, changing my focus from Daryl to Rick, "Yeah, I was just leaving."
He nodded, his questionable stare proving he didn't buy it though, "Michonne and I just finished making some dinner, you're welcome to join if you like."
"Thanks, but I already ate," I shook my head, "I'm just gonna head back to my place."
Rick nodded, "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."
I nodded back, shooting Daryl one last glance before turning around and walking back in the direction I came from.
_____
A little bit of drama between Liz and Daryl.. how do you think they'll resolve it?
Hope you guys have been liking some of the longer chapters I've been putting in; it's not intentional tho lmao it just kinda happens.