It took Paul forever to reply; I was starting to think that he hadn't heard what I had said. I couldn't even remember what I had said. Yet, somehow, there were tears falling from my eyes and I was shivering, despite it being in the mid-twenties outside.
"So yeah, that is it, that is all," I said quietly, my eyes still not focusing. The crying was not going to help in the slightest but hey ho, I had no clue what I was doing.
"Saskia, we need to get you somewhere safer, because I have no idea in hell what you are going on about..."
"If you must," now I was the one taking a long time to answer. "I need to go to the toilet though, in case something bad has happened. Paul, what if?"
Suddenly, there was a strong grip upon my shoulders and I was pulled up off my feet. Naturally, I wobbled, but Paul held me tight.
"Come on, we are going back to my room. I don't know where Dan is, although I know his phone doesn't have any charge in it - he told me earlier, which is fucking typical."
"Please don't be angry with me," I blubbed, my arms pushed up against Paul as he manhandled me. "I was not drinking alcohol and I don't know why this happened. I didn't want to drink alcohol because I was worried and there is a possibility that I am having a baby because I keep being sick and haven't had a period in almost two months now."
"Hey, it's alright, Sassy," Paul reassured me, leading me to the outside and to our hotel which was near enough opposite. Or was that the taxi rank? "There is a car here for us. Hold on tight and we'll be back at my room in no time, I promise."
And that is when I blacked out completely.
---
The first thing I saw when I woke up was a bin which had been placed next to me, presumably for me to throw up in. The second thing I saw was Paul; he was staring right at me, his eyes wide.
I was beyond confused and felt dizzy. Dizzy as in something either hadn't agreed with me, or an alcohol induced dizziness.
I rubbed my eyes and groaned, wondering what on earth had happened.
"Paul?" I stuttered, checking to see if I could feel my hands and feet. I could, which was a good sign if ever there was one. "What is going on? Why am I in your room? Where is Lizzie?"
"Okay, one question at a time my friend," the personal trainer gave me a stern look. "Are you feeling okay? No pins and needles or anything?"
I held still and then gave my hand another wiggle. All was well so I shook my head, further perplexed.
"Your drink was spiked," Paul continued, reaching over to his bedside table to retrieve a bottle of water. He then handed it to me and told me to sit up, slowly. I took his advice, I didn't feel like doing anything quickly.
But then I processed what Paul had said and my blood ran cold. Now my limbs were numb. The Aussie must have clocked that I had gone as white as a sheet. My bottom lip was now quivering.
"Is there anything you want to talk about?" he asked gently. We can get the team doctor if you would rather?"
"No!" I said all too fast. "I mean no to the doctor."
"Sas, there is obviously something going on...you'll feel better if you get it out your system."
I was sceptical.
"Where is Daniel?" was all I could manage.
"I don't know, I think he is still partying." Paul nodded at the water and I took another sip. "Look, you said something to me earlier when I found you...I just wanna make sure that you're alright. Your health comes first."
"I was worried that I could be pregnant, it is just a hunch. I bought a test a week ago but I haven't had a chance to take it or anything with all of the shit that has been going all. All I know is that I have been throwing up a lot, and my...you know, is three weeks amiss. Could be stress, but it could be a baby...I just don't have the courage to tell Dan until the season is over, until his stress is gone. Me telling him something like that would surely tip him over the edge? And I couldn't do that, so now I am losing either way...And my drink was spiked. So...so, who knows. I need to go to the toilet."
For once, it seemed as if Paul was speechless. Perhaps he knew just how much Dan really didn't want children yet. I mean, who would when you raced a Formula 1 car every weekend? How the hell would we trundle around the globe with a flipping baby. It would not happen, and that is final.
With the room still spinning, I got up from Paul and Lizzie's bed and headed to the bathroom. Inside, I locked the door and burst out crying.
"Saskia, what is it? Is everything okay?" Paul shouted, the concern evident in his voice. "Saskia, answer me? Shit, shit, shit."
"Give me a moment..." I struggled and rested against the tiled wall. I needed to go to the toilet and I had never been so nervous.
What would I do if...
The chemicals that had gone into my drink would have been poisonous.
"Saskia," Paul tried again.
"Look, I am scared to go to the toilet," I admitted, the tears falling fast as I froze. I didn't have the courage to go for a wee, despite being dangerously desperate.
"I really think we should get you checked out..."
"No!" And that was the final straw. I pulled my dress up, knickers down and threw myself on the toilet, not taking a single breath.
---
"And are you sure that you're alright?" Paul asked for the tenth time as I cradled my cup of coffee. It was four in the morning and I was now exhausted. As was Rhodes, who had been nothing but fantastic at consoling me. I owed him a million. "We'll get you two to look after Massa Junior and then you must tell him; I'll make things are sorted out with Red Bull by then. If not, Dan, you and I will look elsewhere."
"Okay, thank you," I whispered, not having the energy reserves to drink the rest of my drink. The willingness to sleep was consuming every inch of me.
"You can get under the covers if you want, I'll sort something else out. But I need to go and shower in the meantime!"
I did as he said and pulled the duvet up over me, cold from where Paul had the air con on full whack. Within seconds I was nearly asleep, the faint sound of Paul rattling around in the bathroom comforting me. I was safe, we were safe...if there was a we. I would find out in less than a week.
I came to not long after my last conscious thoughts. I could hear the shower but I could also hear shouting.
Lizzie.
"Saskia!" Lizzie screamed. "What are you doing in mine and Paul's bed? Why is Paul in the shower!"
"I will talk to you in the morning," I mumbled, not turning cover to face her. No energy, could not be arsed.
"Oh my God, I can't believe this!" she continued, and then slammed the door. I was confused, but went back to sleep nonetheless. If she wanted me, she would knock again.
---
The next time my eyes opened, I saw Paul sprawled out on the floor and daylight seeping through the windows from where the blind had not been put down. It was 8 am. Paul was evidently awake from the tapping away he was doing on his phone. It seemed in that moment that things had gone a bit tits up, and that was before I had a flashback to the horrendous events of last night.
A night where I had spent my time asleep without my fiance. I'd spent it in his best mate's bed as I was terrified that I was pregnant.
Sounded fucking awful as I went over it in my head.
"Paul," I whispered. I don't know why I bothered to whisper, he was awake. "Ummmm."
"I don't know where Lizzie is."
"What?"
"She's gone...hopped on a plane and gone to England. That gone. She thought we were sleeping together."
"Wow," I said. This whole situation could not get any worse. "Are you sure?"
"I had an email from her mum to say that she was going to stay at her's for a couple of days before we fly back," Paul sounded cut up, but at the same time, it seemed as if it hadn't sunk in yet. And that was probably because it hadn't. "She'll be at the airport now, waiting to get on the fucktard plane."
"Why didn't you go after her?"
"Cos I only got told twenty mins ago and by that time it's too fucking late. My wife thinks we're shagging each other...and I couldn't say that you thought you were pregnant. Oh jeez."
I hopped out of Paul's bed, where I was still in my dress, and joined him on the floor, popping my arm around him and squeezing him tight. I spent most of my time moaning about the Aussie, but he was everything I could ask for and more - for both Dan and I.
"I have fucked things up real bad, haven't I," I sighed. "I'm so sorry."
"The person who spiked your drink fucked things up. If I ever find out what cock did that, then I am going to fucking kill them!"
We sat in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to say or to do next.
"I need to go back to my room and I need to talk to Daniel," I eventually said. "I can't go on like this much longer."
But then I saw Paul's heartbroken face and I was torn. And I had lost my sodding phone.
No, I did not know why all of this pissing stuff seemed to happen to me but I'd had it up to here. Like, here. HERE.
"You have two options now, Sas. You either go and tell Dan everything, right this second, or you forget about it for the next couple of days until you are sure. I used to have late periods all of the time..."
Okay, that made me laugh.
"Tell him your drink got spiked and Paul had to rescue you before you got arrested and thrown into prison for the rest of your life. Because that is what would have happened if I had left you; I don't wanna think about what would have happened. Nasty. But at least you weren't sick." Paul looked me dead in the eye and exhaled. "I know Lizzie will come round. She just flew off the handle. You were too off your face and I was in the shower so there was no hope in hell really. It'll all be 'right."
He made sense, he really did.
"Can I come back in an hour? We'll go for breakfast, the three of us?" I suggested, wanting normality to creep back in again. I was tired of the weird shit now, I wanted things to be how they used to be. Still crazy, but mundane compared to this.
"Sure, I'm gonna have a kip so you'll have to knock loudly, or give me a bell."
"Alright, I'll catch you in a bit," I said, gave him another hug and stood up slowly. I didn't feel dizzy for the first time in a good couple of weeks. And, minus my slight headache due to the lack of sleep, I felt ok.
Quietly, I left Paul alone as he didn't climb into his bed - just grabbed a pillow and stretched out on the floor. I made sure the hotel door closed softly and then began the walk up the corridor to the stairs. Daniel and I were on the floor above, next to Christian's room and opposite Kvyat's.
Once upstairs, I stumbled up to room number 1078 and realised that if anyone saw me, outside of the team, to them it definitely looked as if I was doing the walk of shame. That wasn't really a vibe that I wanted to give off, let's be real here.
I banged on our door and waited, feeling the butterflies form quickly in my stomach. There wasn't an answer after twenty or so seconds so I knocked again...and then again.
After a minute of waiting, a rather worse for wear Australian let me in. Clearly I had woken him. Clearly he was confused.
"What happened?" he asked, pushing his messy brown curls back from his face. "I...shit. Jesus, I feel rough."
He stood to the side and let me in, gently catching me by the wrist as I walked into the room. Dan was still dressed in the things he went out in last night. We were a right pair.
"Sas, are you 'right?" he was serious, despite still being drunk/merging into the hungover stage.
"My drink was spiked by some tosspot and I woke up in Paul's room, very confused."
"Are you okay?" he scratched his head whilst trying to conceal a yawn. "Like, are you feeling okay?"
"I'm okay now!"
"Ah shit, I feel so bad. Just drink after drink kept appearing and I didn't say no...and then I didn't know what was happening, but obviously I was still bloody drinking."
Now it was my turn to be concerned, "Are you okay?"
"I have been sick twice...at least, that's all I know of." He stripped off his shirt and pulled us down onto the bed together. "Where did Lizzie kip?"
"Oh she is on a plane back to England; she thought that Paul and I had been having sex," I whispered, feeling slightly ill at the thought of sleeping he was Paul. It wasn't the fact that he wasn't my type - he was some hot stuff, but he was my best friend's husband and my to be husband's best friend. I would never ever go there, and he would never ever come to me.
"Baby is making her women things a bit messed up," Dan sighed, stroking my hair. "Your hair is gross."
"Your breath stinks of beer!" I retorted. "I said to Paul we would go to breakfast together but I feel like it's best to let him sleep. We can do lunch instead."
"I can't eat anything right now," Dan admitted, burping for good measure. "Sorry...at least I didn't vomit that time."
"Ha, yeah," and then I suddenly came out with it. "I need to talk to you..." Well, I tried to.
"Oh fuck," Dan exclaimed and shot up in the direction of the bathroom. What I heard next also made me not want to eat.
I did try.
"I'm coming," I said and went to go play nurse.
Will proofread in the morning my lovelies xxx