Chapter 12....... Wasted Time
I walked to my car where Dave and Mel still stood there in the parking lot. My knees were weak but I still kept walking. My stomach was turning but I was keeping my food down. I wanted to just curl up into a ball and cry but I know I have to keep going
"Lets go." I said
I was hiding my emotions my face was blank. This is my defence mechanism. I didn't want to cry, not where Scott can see me. They nodded and we all headed off back to Dave's place
"If I could hold back the rain
Would you numb the pain?
'Cause I remember everything
If I could make you forget
Would you take my regrets?
'Cause I remember everything."
Perfect lyrics for me, for everything. I wanted to numb myself from all the pain. Old habits were pushing to come out again but . The fight is on. I had to fight not to hurt myself anymore. I have been hurt enough. I shouldn't be driving not like this, I was so emotional and my judgement was clouded. I sighed. I stayed as focused as I could. Then I finally made it to Dave's place. I seen two cars in the driveway. Dave and Mel made it before me. I headed inside the house and there sat Mel and Dave, Dave on the couch and Mel on the chair
"Mi." Mel said
That's when I broke, I ran to her and she stood up welcoming me with open arms as she hugged me. She held me up as my knees gave out. Tears fell down my face and onto her shoulder
"Mi it's okay." Mel cooed
She ran her fingers through my hair. She had the same long blonde hair as me but a different style. She was also the same height, I love having a twin, switching names to mess with teachers, switching classes, too much fun. She was also one of my best friends. Those memories made me smile. Dave came up behind me and grabbed my waist and hugged me then he placed his head on my shoulder. I didn't care it felt comforting, more than it should. Mel let me go, Dave gently spun me around and he hugged me, tight. Butterflies rumbled and my chest became tight. I haven't felt this is 2 years
"Mia it's alright." He whispered in my ear
Then I remembered what he said at the apartment about me not being his girlfriend and saying it with such hate and disgust. I pushed him away and Mel and Dave looked at me puzzled
"Do you have true feelings for me?" I asked
I cleared my tears and stood there looking at him. I was acting calmly trying not to give away my anger but my shield seemed to have faded. I'm sure that my body language completely gave my emotion away. I looked over at Mel, and Mel looked at him and gave him the better tell her look
"Or was that kiss we shared is only going to hurt me more?"
"Yes Mia I have true feelings for you, the reason why I said what I said was to protect you." He said
"I know he'll find us Mia if I said yes, I can't let you get hurt again. I'm going to protect you." He added
"I'm sorry, I just felt hurt, because, uh." I wasn't sure how to say the last part
"I said you weren't my girlfriend?"
"Um yeah." I hesitated
"Mia, it's true, you're not but that doesn't mean I don't want you to be, you're just not ready and I respect that."
He was right, or am I ready. I gave Dave another hug, he rapped his arms around my waist and he put his face close to mine. I caught him off guard as I closed the gap between our lips proving to him that I wanted him as much as he wanted me or even that I wanted him more. The kiss didn't get deep but it was just a standard kiss that was what I wanted. He soon pulled away and just looked at me. Mel was jumping up and down with joy. I looked at her
"What?" She asked
"Really?"
"You don't know how long I have been waiting for this." She said
I giggled a bit, Mel and Dave smiled. The joy ended when I felt my phone go off. I pulled it out of my pocket to look at it. It was from Scott
"Hope you enjoyed that little scene, I've been doing this for a while, she's better than you where. Good luck facing her again, nice nickname for her, new victim." I read aloud
Tears fell from my face, yet again and Mel hugged me again
"I gave up my life for him. I gave up so much. I let him take advantage of me, he took something I could never get back. I've wasted my time." I whispered
"Did he take your V-card?" Mel asked
"Yes and grow up Mel." I said
I just stood there and cried into her shoulder more after I snapped. I hate emotions
"I loved him, I thought he loved me. He cheated on me. He abused me in more ways then one." I cried
"Mia?" Mel asked
"Yes."
"Did he every force you into sex?"
I had to think about it. Every time he would want it I said no, then he would hurt me then he would do whatever he wanted against my will. As I thought about the past few months I realized that it was forced on me, twice. But in the time that we have been together it was more than that
"In the past few months, twice. In the past few yes, more than that." I admitted
"Mia that technical rape." Mel said
I started crying even harder. He took my virginity and raped me. More shit to add on to my fucked up life. God what have I done with my life
"You have to go to the police Mi." Mel said
"I can't." I cried
"You have to." Mel pushed
"Not right now please." I begged
She sighed and she caved. She hugged me tight, my life is just getting worse. When I was 21 my mom had past away of cancer, my dad and family was crushed. My mom was a strong woman, who fought for her kids and rights. She loved us just like a mom would and should. She was always strong for us and gave us a shake for talking back. I loved her so very much. She was from Europe, so being from European descent is how I got my name
*4 years ago, at the hospital*
My dad, Mel and I gathered around her bed. She had brain cancer and lung cancer. She had tubes coming out of her body as she struggled to breath. Tears were poring out of my eyes as Mel and I held hands and my dad held Mel's hand. We all stood on one side of her bed. I knew she was dying there was no denying it
"Mia, Melanie." My mom said
My dad let go of Mel's hand as we each took one side of the bed and held her hand. We stood there and she looked at both of us an she smiled at both of us
"My 2 beautiful daughters, twins. You guys need to do well in school, carry everything I am, with you both. I love you." She said
Mel and I cried as we smiled at her, she smiled back and a small tear fell down her face
"We love you too mama." We said in unison
"You both are just lovely people, stay strong for me." She smiled
We both nodded and smiled at her as we nodded
"Mark." My mom said
We backed off as my dad kneeled beside the bed and grabbed her hand tight
"I love you Maria." My dad spoke
He kissed her forehead and tears fell down his face and landed upon the bed where my mom laid
"Don't cry, I'll be watching over you, take care of the girls." My mom said
My dad nodded in response. Me and Mel went on the opposite side of the bed and kneeled beside her. I stood up and kissed her forehead and Mel followed right after me. We knew her time was coming soon
"I love you all, thanks for the times we've had. My life has been complete." She said
Her breathing was starting to hike as her monitor beeped. I held her hand tightly, Mel's hand was over mine. The beeping got rapid as I closed my eyes, then nothing. The grip that she had on my hand went limp. She stopped breathing and the monitor flat lined. I opened my eyes to see her lying still like the angel she was
"Mama." I said but there was no answer
I let go of her hand and I grabbed Mel and cried. Even though I was 21 I still balled my eyes out
"Mia." Mel said
Mel snapped me out of my thoughts. I realized that Dave and Mel were now standing in front of me
"Huh?" I asked
"You were thinking about mama."
I know that wasn't a question it was a statement. I looked at her confused trying to hide it
"Mi don't hide it, you said mama."
She pulled me into a hug and I faced Dave and he looked at me oddly but he didn't ask. Mel looked up at him and shook her head. I cried for a while and Mel held me, and Dave came in and hugged me too
"Thanks guys." I said
*******
Song: Remember Everything 5FDP