read my a/n,, or smthn idk im heavily depressed or smthn idk u can skip it tho sorry im sorry
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After spending nearly two weeks with Joshua, Jeonghan is kind of back with his best friend. He doesn't send half assed replies or ignore Seungcheol half the time anymore. He starts to hang out with Joshua little less but its not like his crush on the American has decreased. In fact, he seems to love him more but he tries to stop mentioning Joshua with Seungcheol every time the two are together.
Seungcheol likes that Jeonghan remembered he existed and needed a better reply than a grunt, nod, and an "uh-huh, yeah, Cheol." Not to mention he and Jeonghan hadn't gone out together for a while and he always had to hang out with Junhui. He didn't want to be home much now because his parents were starting to fight and no child, or teen, wants to know their parents are fighting.
He honestly didn't know what he missed about Jeonghan the most because he missed a list of things. Maybe it was his touch because Seungcheol felt more cold without the younger on him. Maybe it was his voice because Seungcheol seemed almost deaf if it wasn't Jeonghan calling him. Maybe it was all of Jeonghan because that was his best friend. And they spent almost every day and every second together. When they could, at least.
The two spends over six hours texting each other. Rolling around on their beds and laughing from time to time. Fast replies was the most precious thing during those times. Seungcheol didn't like when Jeonghan would reply a few hours late and Jeonghan felt the same. So they both tried to answer each other as soon as possible so the conversation wouldn't break.
Soon, after so many times of doing this, it was hard not to reply quickly. Sometimes Jeonghan would be mad at Seungcheol but could barely stay away for an hour. Sometimes Seungcheol just wasn't in the best mood but he couldn't find himself not texting Jeonghan for an hour. Their friendship was too close to break. They acted as if they were brothers; playing around, challenging each other, and just laughing at or with each other. Seungcheol wouldn't trade his best friend for the world and he thought Jeonghan felt the same. But then Joshua came along and it was too rare that Jeonghan wouldn't abandon Seungcheol for Joshua.
It hurt him knowing this. Even after Jeonghan started to hang out with him more, he was still very attached to Joshua. The thought of it made Seungcheol want to cry because so much stuff happened with Jeonghan. He never liked texting the younger because he always liked looking at his facial expressions when they talked. And even though Jeonghan wasn't as clingy to Joshua before, he'd still sometimes ignore Seungcheol because of Joshua.
Junhui didn't like the way this weird love triangle was going (even though he doesn't even know if Seungcheol is in love with Jeonghan and who Joshua likes). He wants to help his friends but he doesn't know how. All he can do is lend Seungcheol a shoulder when he feels absolutely terrible for something that isn't even his fault. Junhui knows Seungcheol wants Jeonghan to just forget about Joshua and talk to him and only him, but he just doesn't admit it.
Though Jeonghan was starting to hang out with Joshua less, it wasn't like it was decreasing a great amount. The process of it was really slow and Junhui was starting to get annoyed. He really wanted the three of them to just get it together but it didn't seem like that was gonna happen soon.
Joshua was almost oblivious of it all. He's very aware Jeonghan likes him but he says nothing about it. What he doesn't know is that Seungcheol is nearly miserable without his best friend and that Junhui is clashing Legos together as if it were the puzzle pieces to this damn situation. He miss the way their own friend group was too, but he can tell Seungcheol and Junhui are uncomfortable with Jeonghan being so attached to him. He's kept his distance for a little, but he misses his friends. He didn't really know what to do now that it's been almost two weeks. They still went out with each other everyday, but Junhui and Seungcheol kind of did their own thing while he and Jeonghan did theirs.
As days went on, Junhui only got more and more frustrated that he couldn't take it. He had to get his friends to just get their shit together before his head explodes. It kind of did because in their group call on Skype, he ends up screaming in Mandarin. No one understands him, so they all hang up. Junhui went to sleep early that night and ignored their next call of the night.
"You guys should seriously fix this," The Chinese hisses, squinting at Jeonghan. It was his fault.
Seungcheol looks up from his food, not really raising his head up. His eyes trail to the male sitting besides him, Jeonghan. He hasn't been this close to him in a while that it was almost starting to feel foreign. But everything started to feel alright as Jeonghan tangled their hands together. Because of this, he knows his best friend is just now starting to be aware of the mess he caused.
Everyone's too late to answer so Junhui speaks again. There's a slight hint of irritation in his voice as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Are you all too dumb to realize what I'm talking about, or what?"
"I'm well aware－" Seungcheol tries but Junhui completely cuts him off.
"Of course you are!" Junhui barks. "You've been completely miserable just because your best friend would barely say hi to you,"
Joshua blinks at the other foreigner's actions and words before trying to calm him down. Jeonghan looks at the male besides him who has pulled his hand away from his. Seungcheol was bright red and covered his face with both his hands. Jeonghan turns back to the other two, Junhui listening to Joshua and taking deep breaths. After a while, Jeonghan pinches Seungcheol's thigh.
"Cheol, bathroom" He whispers into his ear before standing up. Seungcheol pulls his hands from his face and stares at Jeonghan before sighing and following. "Why didn't you tell me?" Jeonghan asks as soon as Seungcheol walks into the bathroom.
Seungcheol shrugs, "I mean, you really like him and I don't want to ruin that for you." Jeonghan takes a deep breath and pulls the other into a hug. "Thank you for always keep in your feelings, but you should really just tell me how you feel." He mumbles into Seungcheol's shoulders.
Upon missing his best friend, Seungcheol tightly wraps his arms around him, patting his back lightly. "I'll try" He mumbles back as they pull away.
Jeonghan smiles and squishes Seungcheol's cheeks with both his hands. "Thank you, Cheollie."
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but anyways thx for 3k reads !!!
i doubt any of you care but i'm,, am i struggling?? yeah ig i am i just really want to fucking die lol i want to write,, i do,, i really really really wnant to do but i told someone how sad i was because my best book (milky way) was barely getting attention and that i really just wanted to quit and she said that if im just writing for the entertainment of others and not myself... i suoukd hjusy quit,, ive been thinking abt it a lot,, i don't make things that indont enjoy like weiting all of these chs for hairband,, i've had a lot of fun,, a lot of fun. i wanna share ir with you guys and stuff? i do want approval a lot i'm just,, that type of person? idk what to do though,, is this how i should keep going?? i've,, spent most of my life reading books i don't even remember and buying books on that scholastic shit my school had (wasted so much money on some books) and since third grade (up until my will to live literally started to decrease) i've been wanting to be like,, an author?? i wanted to get big and stuff i wanted to do a lot of creative writing,, it's always been something i've been confident in it's why i do it. it was really devastating reading what my friend had said to me. it hurt a lot. mostly with everything that has piled up. and this isn't the only time. unintentionally, i've gotten hurt by words that come from her? and it's not her fault... i don't blame her—i could never. i'm just really... sensitive. my issues have been biting me in the ass and i've been crying so much that my eyes don't even get red like they'd used to. been crying myself to sleep... been holdin' in breaths never thought i was holdin' in... been having trouble breathing... lots of chest pains and heart aches... been smackin myself in my head (as bad as it sounds)... been thinkin' bout suicide a lot. sometimes, when i'm crying it hurts to breathe. i don't know if it's because i'm fucking fat or if i'm in THAT much pain or some shit. shit just hasn't been fun. that special person has just... had me everywhere, i guess. i know she doesn't mean it. sometimes i just get jealous though. i mean... i'm real bad. i don't wanna lose her but i'm putting her through all this crap. it's annoying to have her say it's not my fault when it clearly is. my heart... really hurts. nothing feels sincere anymore. i feel like i'm forcing her to do all this stuff for me, say all this stuff for me. ahhhh i just pUt fucking lotion on my fuckiNg fa c e
anyways yeah i've been having tons of issues and i've been feeling like no one really cares. the one person i want to notice doesn't really notice and i'm too scared to say it. plus i've said it before why would i do it again?? sometimes i feel like she doesn't even wanna talk to me and stuff. rather talk to that girl she says isn't a threat to me. don't know what's wrong with me. my chest and heart just hurts? everything's just messy. i'll be fucked if she sees this (i doubt it though).
back to the writing thing,, i ?? idk what i'm gonna do,, i feel like my writing is getting shittier and shittier anyways ugh
i'm really sorry for ranting. and baby, if you do see this, i'm sorry. if you actually do feel this way, that's okay. you've probably grown tired of reassuring me.
this was really long. i'm sorry. real sorry.