~The night summons like an unquenched love, reckoning with the promise of dark desire~
N A N D I N I
The entry to his house was never an easy affair but since the people have seen me there earlier, much of drama wasn't needed.
One lady who was his house staff advised me to wait downstairs for some half an hour but seeing the mess I was and wrath in my eyes, she didn't dare to protest further. I know this was some big step I was going to take by directly attacking him with my allegations but so was pushing me against the wall and make his brother cry on the streets.
It surely wasn't a very charming night for obvious reasons but the weather outside also played a pivotal role as the calm of the outside prevailed inside too. The mansion was mostly dark inside as if some disaster had happened there already. Climbing up the stairs, I found it to grow darker with my each step. The mansion was a puzzle of it's own, which room led me where left me scratching my head. The bigger the rooms, the quieter and darker the ambience were. I swung open the door of maybe some six giant rooms but his trace was nowhere to be found and this hide and seek was raging up my patience all the more.
I was passing through the corridor when heard some whispers from a certain room and decided to calm my spleen as he still hasn't spoken the truth to my face. Slightly when I tried pushing the door there was no luck because it was locked from inside.
The thought of knocking crossed my mind but somehow the image of his furious eyes flashed before my mind and I took slower steps towards the nearest window through which the room could be seen well.
Firstly the darkness and then the queering of this mansion together with its owner was getting too much. I peeped through the window but in the entire silence could hear my heartbeats loudly.
I frowned as the darkness inside the room was torturous and I didn't understand why this was scaring the shit out of me sending the alert to my sense that something terribly bad was going to happen.
I keeked again and realised there wasn't one but two individuals in the room. A scared nerve tingled my body as I exhaled in panic. Pressing my shaky lips together and embracing myself for the naked truth, I narrowed my vision more to have a clearer view. Seconds later my eyes went blank, heart stopped pumping blood, goosebumps made their visibility and something very very fragile broke as my dried up lips parted to quiver. My entire life got absorbed in one piece of shitty second. I took backward steps aimlessly as the hollowness inside my chest was widening up as if the organ 'heart' within my chest was never there. As if....as if some fresh cut was harshly brushed with a fork.
I wonder why my tears didn't show up then as they never miss a good chance anytime, maybe they too pitied me or maybe I was that hollow inside to feel anything. My eyes were fixed at the room although I had no way back as the wall marked the end of my freedom.
I saw a shirtless Manik lying on top of some girl, close enough sucking her collarbone while his hands teased her bare waist. Each second there made me want to throw up and although I terribly wanted to look away and never ever come back here but somewhere my heart wanted that pain. It needed that pain to assure itself what monster it had been in love with. He was nobody's anything. After destroying his brother tonight, knowing very well what he did to him, here he was making love to someone?
Taking a sharp knife in my chest was yet better than seeing him having sex with someone else. I did myself a favour and closed my eyes when the things were getting too much and ran away from there. Far far far away from where I wouldn't remember him loving her body giving everything he had just to satisfy himself hearing her moan his name.
Running down the stairs I was about to drop myself at every step but I had to keep it together and leave because staying there was like poisoning myself. There was venom in the air of the mansion and I needed harmless oxygen. The suffocation inside felt like someone clutching my throat pinched my nose not allowing me to breathe and live. I sprinted outside the house and sparing a look back at that mansion, continued hurtling. It was like the ghosts of the night from the mansion were following me and I had to run away so that they never find me again.
The rain was long stopped but the gentle breeze coupled with the lightning and its daunting sounds were curdling up my blood. I ran and ran and ran not measuring the distance; ran wherever my mind and heart took me to. I just needed to to escape.
Standing in the middle of a crossroad not knowing which way to go, I kept bawling my eyes out tugging hairs from roots. The road was known to me but the blockage inside my head didn't allow me to think straight.
"You may be that filth's something but don't you ever forget your worth in my office. Next time, you use that mouth of yours saying something contrary to what my ears expect from you, take it from me, I'll send you to where you come from."
Terrified, I turned around to where the voice came from but the road was empty that way. Tears gushed out of my eyes and I pinched the skin on my neck, worried if I'm going crazy.
"You must be really delusional if you feel that things have been hard for you until. I'm sorry to snap you out of your lala land, Cinderella but you have no idea how worse things are gonna get."
Choking, I turned the other way to find the road empty just like the other one. My own heartbeats were roaring in the quietness; sweating and worsening I palmed my ears blocking the haunting voice before it ends me.
"Don't take me lightly, Murthy. I'm no Aryaman Malhotra who will treat you like an angel and talk about unicorns and rainbows. Cross my path again and I'll show you how deep can the thorns prick. And this.. was just the teaser."
"No no no no! Stop. I can't take it anymore." I repeat again and again turning every road before I failed to carry my own weight which seemed too much now and for the second time this evening, collapsed on the street.
"I mean, all of this is happening because of you only so you have to take the credit, okay?"
"Oh God, stop this hurting. Please. It hurts. It hurts. It badly hurts." I cried on the street losing the last thread to my sanity.
"I'm giving you the limelight, you should be thankful."
Hyperventilation took over me as all those pure and jovial smiles and smirks turned sly and wicked; melodious laughters turned into wicked ones in the flashes before my eyes right now.
"Just go away, Manik Malhotra. Go away." I screamed with a shaky voice but when I opened my eyes few seconds later, everything was gone. I was alone on the road. He was gone. His smiles and smirks were gone. Those burning eyes were gone and everything just became a nightmare.
~ And here I am slowly drifting away from everything I once claimed to love ~
✾
Narrator:
Manik with a drink in hand stood by the window after the girl left in his dark bedroom. He was specifically looking into the blankness of the starless sky and he liked it that way, the darkness. With a shirt loosely wrapped around his body buttonless paired with a casual trousers, he loved how the wind kissed his body like a desperate lover.
There was flickering sound of a paper nearby and glancing around, he found an envelope to be trembling on the table beside him under the wind. The envelope read 'Chetna Memorial Trust' and slowly, he gazed back into the sky not knowing how to fill the void of overpowering guilt in him.
"And then out of now-nowhere she landed a punch on his n-nose before leaving. Can you imagine he sat finishing the entire meal for the two alone with a bleeding nose?" The girl's laughter echoed in the room and vibrated through Manik's body as she was laying her head on top of his chest.
"I told you in the beginning only that this matchmaking thing of yours is going nowhere. Have you, not sisterly, but generally seen your brother? He's disgusting." Manik commented with one palm under his head and other scrolling through on his phone.
"Excuse me? Did you call my brother disgusting?" She lifted her head raising an eyebrow. His smirk deepened sensing the playful annoyance in her voice but still the phone was all he paid attention to.
"I could say worse but I thought it would be to harsh on you, sweetheart." Manik's word earned a scoff.
"Are you seriously paying that phone my share of attention?" When she tried snatching it, chuckling he stretched his hand making it out of her reach from the bed. She scowled at him when he brought the phone back again near his face and this time, she slapped his arm which made the phone drop on his nose.
"Ow, Chetna!" He winced rubbing his nose. "I don't deserve this sort of treatment after giving you a trip to heaven some fifteen minutes before." He smirked.
She rolled her eyes getting up and arranging the sheet around her naked body, "You know what, I just now remembered I had to be at this farewell dinner of a friend some ten minutes ago. So, why not I invest my energy there?"
With a quick shriek, she realised her back was pulled back on top of his chest. "You have already burned a lot of calories with me. So shut up and stay with me." He murmured in the hair under her ear.
"If you choose your phone above me. I can choose the dinner over you." She flashed him a cheesy smile fighting his hold on her upper arm.
"You are not leaving this." He smirked confidently refusing to let go of her arm despite her nugatory struggles. "You are not leaving this comfortable bed, these heavenly arms," He pulled her closer to him. "the warmth of this bed and an exclusive opportunity to cuddle with me."
"I'll still choose the dinner." She giggled as he started tickling her bare waist rebelliously. "Okay. No no wai-wait. Fine. I'll stay?" She screamed feeling shortness of breath.
"Good. Now, where's my phone?" As he started looking here and there, he knew what would happen next. She slapped his chest making him lie down quietly.
She gulped flipping her head on his chest and playing with his fingers as he was busy learning the design on the ceiling of her bedroom. "I'm to get engaged to your brother."
Manik hummed.
"Are you gonna hum like a bird only? Dude, I said I'm going to be officially your brother's. What are you gonna say about it?" She asked worriedly.
"Um I don't know? Congratulations?" He replied cluelessly.
She sighed fighting a tear, "Why am I not surprised?" She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I think," she sniffed. "we need to stop doing this."
"Doing what?" He asked without an interest. Did he really want to sleep with her to defeat his brother in the process or was there something else he tried hiding?
"You know it...it hurts me to see both of you only and only fighting. Do you know what I go through when I'm unable to fix anything? One is my love and the other is my best friend." Manik stared at the ceiling.
"You can't fix anything, C. Not you, at least." Chetna took the stake through her heart knowing what he meant since she was the biggest boulder standing in between the two brothers.
"Who...are we?" She asked the question which she did millionth time before wishing what if the answer changes this time.
Manik looked down at her and kissed her hairs which were loosely lying on his chest.
"Best friends." She smiled, painfully.
"I love you." She faintly smiled inhaling his fragrance.
"I love you too." He looked at the ceiling rubbing her upper arm.
"Do you know what will people calls us? And, it won't be restricted to friends with benefits title only. I'm the girl who's gonna face in a worse way than you ever will. I was such a bitch to have come in between you two." She shook her head thinking to herself.
"Bitch, I don't know, maybe a little. But badass? A whole lot of it." Manik winked joining her in a chuckle but soon as his best friend's face fell, he knew it was time for him to say something.
"People may give us different names, C. Some may call us friends with benefits and then some may call illicit or sicko. Never ever have I cared about anything and do you know why have I gelled up with you always? Because you are just like me. Equally carefree. You never cared about anything and I don't need to explain you any and everything, you just know without an effort. You have loved me without an expectation." He held her hand and brushed his thumb over her manicured nails and she patiently kept listening with a gentle smile on her pretty face.
Some friendships don't need an explanation and acceptance.
"Do every friendship need this physicality?" She played with his fingers and he smiled.
"No. But our's does. I can go to any girl in this world, C and considering the superstar my father is, that surely will not be a big deal for me to get any girl in my bed. You know right, I sleep with so many girls that I lost the count but you are the one who understands me since childhood and coming to you gives me this immense peace. I don't only sleep with you rather submit my insanity to you and the wonder is, you never freak out even after seeing the worst." He sighed.
"We act like a couple but never are together, isn't this weirdly funny?" She chuckled, pained.
"No expectations. No disappointments. You know C, I'll never harm or want anything bad for you. It's just.....tranquil here." He stated in a low tone.
"Will you ever regret not falling for me?" She pulled his cheek.
"Maybe one day. Maybe never." He kissed her forehead but never did he know that those relationships were one of them fell in love, was the toughest for that one. To him, it was two matured persons who loved each other but not 'in that love' who agreed to enter into physical intimacy where they understood each other well and as she never expected anything in return from him except for his warmth and smile, it was that bond which let him stay the real Manik with her.
She kissed his chest for she knew what next was coming and he felt little more peace with her that night as if he could foresee he would miss this eternally.
Manik sipped on his drink quietly. It was difficult to find this man so quiet except in his own universe. He lost his peace the day he lost his best friend.
✾
Aryaman stood at the roof taking one ring out of his pocket and caressed it as if he still held her fingers in him. He remembered how beautiful she looked that evening when he slid the ring on her finger and how he realised how beautiful life could be having this lady by his side till the time they would be grey and old, walking infirmly hand in hand.
Kuch kum roshan hai roshni
Kuch kum gili hai baarishein
Kuch Kum lehrathi hai hawa
Kuch Kum hai dil mein kwahishein
Tham sa gaya hai
Yeh waqt aaisi
Tere liya hi tehra ho jaise
Hmmm..mmmm..mmmm
Hmmm...mmmm..mmmmm
He savoured her missing touch through the curve of the ring. That feeling is worst when you know so many things are left unsaid but the listener is never coming back and you miss those warm hugs but that touch is gone forever no matter how much you yearn it.
Kyun meri saans bhi
Kuch bhiki si hai
Dooriyon se huyie
Nazdiki si hai
The heavy shower in Nandini's washroom failed to wipe out the bleeding of her heart as she sat under it in the clothes she wore this evening. Drenched, she kept howling pulling her knees closer to her chest and head shaking on top of those weak knees.
Kyun meri saans bhi
Kuch pheeki si hain
Dooriyon se huyi
Nazdeeki si hain
Jaane kya, yeh baat hain
Har subha, ab raat hain
The rain started again mercilessly reminding every broken heart that it's okay to cry. The tears in Aryaman's eyes made everything blurry while he was soaking under the rain tightly clasping the ring and asking the heaven to return her to him, the one who mattered the most, just for one time.
Kuch kum roshan hai roshni
Kuch kum gili hai baarishein
Kuch Kum lehrathi hai hawa
Kuch Kum hai dil mein kwahishein
Tham sa gaya hai
Yeh waqt aaise
Tere liya hi tehra ho jaise
HMmmmm..mmmm..mmmm
HMmmmm..mmm..mmmm..
Dipping her face in her knees Nandini asked herself if she'll ever stop hurting this way. Every inch of her shattered soul called for him but the sight of him making love to someone else made her wipe her face with the water hoping the flashes would too fade away.
Phool mehke nahin
Kuch gumsum se hai
Jaise roothe huwe
Kuch yeh tumse hai
Manik stood by the window and though the droplets outside didn't drench him but splashes of it touched his chest as the wind kept blowing his open shirt away along with his hair and he looked at the legal papers, again. This time having the guts to open the envelope.
Phool mehke nahin
Kuch gumsum se hai
Jaise roothe huwe
Kuch yeh tumse hai
Khusbooien dhal gayi
Saath tum aab jo nahin
It's been years that he was again missing his friend who was by his side holding his hand at every hour even without asking to stay. Her love was like that open sky where he was just one migratory bird.
Kuch kum roshan hai roshni
Kuch kum gili hai baarishein
Tham sa gaya hai
Yeh waqt aaise
Tere liya hi tehra ho jaise
Mmmmm..mmmm..mmmm
Mmmmm..mmm..mmmm..
Three hearts. Three pains. But tied somehow together. Healing of the one would lead to shattering of the other and people call love an easy thing. Two cried and one stayed silent just like the moth that got drawn to the fire only to be burnt. But the rain that night wasn't capable enough to wash the pains away, it rather washed the dusts fallen on their feelings more turning the pains more vulnerable.
The night was devastating and with its sharp ends, it came to an end. Finally. The sun that rose was surely a new dawn which marked the change of directions of their lives.
✾
N A N D I N I
Grey Petals,
2pm
"But why me?" I asked Julie as she handed me the file to get that signed by the man I wanted to dodge every second of my existence in this office.
The night changed something huge in me as all those butterflies died and a hollowness took over them as their graveyard where those butterflies rested in peace.
"That's part of your job, Ms.Murthy." She sounded commanding "And moreover you are his special employee these days, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind you interrupting his rehearsals. Get this done fast." Shoving the file in my hand, she walked out.
They all hated me now after that so called credit Manik gave me last evening. Little do they know what consequences did it bring.
Feeling my phone buzz, I picked it up without an hesitation reading the caller name.
"H-" The impatient voice on the other side didn't let me complete.
"Seriously, Nandini?" Aryaman screeched. "You sent me flowers and chocolates? I mean, what do you think I am? A sixteen year old girl trying to get over a bad breakup?" I chuckled a bit walking towards the rehearsal room.
"I thought you could use becoming a girl for a morning." I remarked. "Anyway, h-how.."
"I'm doing, okay. I'll not pretend that I was not hurting afterwards you dropped me home but it's okay. I have managed this pain well all these years so I know how to do it. But hey? I never thanked you for last night. Your being with me there was truly supportive and I-"
"Friends don't thank each other. And, it should be me thanking you for telling me something so personal. You don't know Aryaman, how your telling me had helped me with a lot of clogged vision of my life. It's like, I see things clearer now." I stopped outside the room waiting to finish the call.
"I'm glad. But hey, friends huh?" He teased.
"Are you denying? C'mon you can do a lot better than refusing Nandini Murthy for a friendship of a lifetime!" I joked. We both were suddenly quiet because we both knew although we pretended things were not that quickly okay with us. We still were aching inside.
"So a lifetime it is, eh?" I smiled faintly at his words.
"I'm up for it if you are." I breathed mildly.
"You make a great friend, Nandini and I know I'm holding you up at your work hours now. So yeah, I'll be that sacrificing friend amongst the two to give up on this nice conversation in exchange for a nice coffee later on." I sniffed, chuckling.
"Okay. I'll catch you later. Bye." I mouthed, tired.
"Till then I'm figuring out ways to use these chocolates you sent." He remarked.
"Please do." Exchanging another bye, we hung up before I pushed the door entering into the rehearsal room and saw him spinning one girl around according to the direction of the choreographer. Blood from my feet rushed to my head seeing that sly smile on his face unaware of a new presence in the room.
The moves that swooned me earlier disgusted me to the core now. I hated the fact that without doing anything he did a lot of harm to me.
"Tsk! Prachi, not done baby! When Manik sir will hold you like this, you have to tilt your body on the right. Why don't you get it, it's been one whole hour correcting the same step?" The choreographer illustrated annoyedly while Manik was drinking water from his bottle and the girl kept hanging her head low.
Slowly, I entered and stood before him and as his eyes fell on me I looked away.
"Yes?" He asked politely.
"This file." I passed him keeping my sentence short.
He didn't understand whether to read the file or sign it so he stared at me for a while to know the reason behind my absurd ignorance when I kept looking the other way and then shaking his head a little as if I'm some crack headed, Manik 'sir' held the file and signed.
Not autograph but sign.
The fangirl died.
"Manik sir, can we do it one more time please?" The choreographer pleaded.
"See this 'one more time' is being going on since past half an hour. Why don't we take some other girl to show the step to her so that she understands better? Seeing helps." He suggested without plotting anything.
"Um sir, there's no other girl here..." The choreographer voiced hesitantly.
"Oh, I forgot Ms.Murthy belonged to the category of newly disfigured robot." I rolled my eyes.
"One minute. Yes, why don't you do the same step?" I parted my lips in shock hearing the choreographer.
"What? No. I don't dance." I denied.
"You can try at least?" The stupid dancer mouthed.
"You don't have to dance. Manik sir, will make you dance." Which was exactly why I was denying, Einstein.
"Maybe you could like it this time, because you are partnering...'me'.." Manik's remark very well taunted the dance Aryaman and I shared but when did he see us dancing that night?
"No, thank you." Grabbing my file, I turned back until someone pulled me and I crashed into a solid chest.
I was again somewhere lost in my thoughts as his face was just few centimetres away from mine. Reminding myself of a thousand reasons why I should move away, I couldn't move a finger.
As the music started, he spun me around and before I could protest he was dancing me. Holding my waist, he pulled me closer and the minty smell of his mouth casted a spell as my hands rested flat on his chest.
Manik 'sir' turned me around clinging his chest to my back and I felt his heart beating against my skin. Drawing his fingers up my upper arm, he escalated my breathing and it was difficult staying sane. He was doing what I was most afraid of; helping my heart beat for him.
With a sharp turn, he guided me to tilt to a side hanging in his arms; clasping his shoulders tightly. Never for a single second did he break the chain of our eye contact and his handsome face looked even more divine.
"No one says no to me. If anyone does, I know how to turn it a yes." He smirked.
That smirk.
That bloody smirk brought me back to the haunts of the last night. It reminded me of all the tears I have shed.
Standing straight quickly, I moved away with heated cheeks looking at the floor. I didn't want to be here in the first place. Damn you, Julie.
"Woah that was perfect, sir. This is what I wanted." The choreographer buttered him while I rolled my eyes.
"You saw that, Prachi? The fire in their eyes? The heat? The chemistry?" Manik and I glanced over each other. Proud smirk on his face and irritated disbelief on mine.
"I know and you too good job." He slapped my hip playfully while I was picking up the file and my blood boiled. How dare he touched me? What did he take me as? Those girls who slept with him?
Without uttering any warning, turning on my heels, and before anyone could process what happened next, my hand was sharply on his cheek turning it the other side. I slapped Manik Malhotra, hard. Just the way he liked his things.
The choreographer and his co-star palmed their mouths while Manik took some time to register within him what just happened and that calmness though was vanished yet no rage was visible on his face. He was fucking taken aback.
"Don't you dare touch me like that." I threatened pointing my index finger at him and when those eyes turned towards me I felt the ground underneath sneak aside.
Destructive. Murderous. Menacing. Brutal. Scary. Savaging. Bloodthirsty. Hard-hearted. Ferocious. All those words could describe his state.
I was shit scared but didn't allow my determined expression to be defeated by his deadly ones.
"You bitc...." He advanced towards me balling his fist but soon Cabir entered informing Manik that his father met with an accident and he forgot everything within seconds. Giving me a tough look, he dashed out of the room following Manik and my back hit the wall as realisation hit me like a bullet train that what the hell did I just do?
One thing was for sure my days won't be greener anymore.
✾
"God, stop worrying. The harm which is done can't be undone. So stop shivering." Aaliya tried motivating me in her car parked outside my apartment.
"He's gonna kill me, Aaliya. I'm going to resign because resigning is far better than witnessing those beastly eyes." I closed my eyes inhaling. "A thousand times."
"See babe, what you did was right on your part. Yes, you went a little far with the intensity but what to do now? Do one thing, grab this meal I picked up for you and have a warm shower and then, sleep well. Stop thinking about it because clearly, your thinking isn't helping."
Biting my nails, I laid my hands on the take out bag after hugging her goodbye. Tripping over every stair step, I managed to reach my door and unlock it after dropping the keys a hundred times. Exhaling thickly, I pushed the door ajar until my legs froze in my track as I saw a dark shadow in my unlit room.
Manik Malhotra sitting on my couch in the dark.